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Guest Concerned Singh K

Abuse of boys in Sikh Jathas, India and UK.

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On 16/04/2018 at 6:57 AM, Guest Kaur943 said:

I too have had a similar thing happen to someone I know. But as you can see, not many people actually care about this as you would have got more replies. Shocking that people would rather throw a hissy fit over a movie release than do something regarding this... do they think only rape and abuse happens to girls?? In the sikh community it’s more the males that are targeted for this very ignorance. We have a problem and it needs to be addressed before it blows up into a Jimmy Saville style epidemic. 

Thats true most ppl do think it only happens to girls.

I remember growing up, the girls in my family were never allowed to be at gurudwara alone or attend camps alone. Panjabi parents are smart. They dont trust any religious person. Theyve seen too many fakers in bana. But they do have a blind spot regarding boys and abuse. 

Another problem, I could see rising is family abuse. Most kids who are abused are abused by friends of the family. This has come out in Pakistani families and my pakistani friend said thats why her parents never let her go to a friends house. 

I think we need to take a multi pronged approach. 

#1 should be parents duty. Do not let ur kids hang out at the gurudwara or with babey alone. At least until kids are old enough to report abuse. Like at least 7 years old. There is a story on langar hall blog. About a boy abt 4 years old, his dad used to work at the gurudwara, seva after hours. Kid allowed to run around. Another kid called him to a van. It was a trap. A baba had forced that kid to call him. So the kid was abused and then used by the baba to trick other kids into that van. That kid was too young to he was not able to articulate what was going on,and could only say he didnt want to go to the gurudwara. That ofc didnt go to well with his dad.

#2 kids have to be encouraged to tell. They have to be taught that not telling will make the abuse worse and protect abuser. That telling will not get them in trouble. Parents should encourage this. Like my parents used to tell us if anything bad happens, tell us first, we would rather hear it from u, then others. Also u get to tell us ur version before someone else twists it. 

#3. We should have camp workshops on this. I remember i used to hate the camp workshops on bullying and domestic violence as a kid, as they werent problems we faced in our community (i thought) and were boring. But this will help everyone know who to go to with problems like this. The workshop can be like SAS snakes in suits but named creepers in bana or something. We can say its kalyug, so u dont know when even a good person will be enticed to do bad. And highlight some of the cases that have happened. Emphasize that telling on these abusers is the right and noble thing to do. As its the only thing that will stop the abuse. Also emphasize that its not only girls targeted but more boys (as thats overlooked)

#4 we need to highlight how the corrupt ppl r using bana as a shield. Like how celibacy is being misused by bisexual/gay sikhs. Like how ppl in india who want to come to america become babey just for the visa.

Some of these things r obvious like the visa thing, but i feel like western born youth who get into sikhi, start trusting anyone in a bana. And then get disillusioned and start hating all amritdharis. So these things should be mentioned in that camp workshop.

And maybe we can even have a place for bisexual/gay sikhs. To teach them kaam is kaam. Heterosexuals also need to control their kaam in aikhis so its no just them, so..Idk this ones complicated. The mormons have tried it. Theres was a TV show now on youtube called  'My husbands not Gay'

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