Sikhi and dating

[Not2Cool2Argue]

On 26/03/2018 at 9:24 AM, Guest Confused said:

So you're basically saying it has to be arranged Marriage? What if your parents arent amritdhari and pick someone who is mona and non amritdhari for you (a girl picked for a boy) 

 

Please dont make assumptions about me - you don't know the story behind everyone asking questions or the background to their query and I'm not going into it so I'll let it go but be mindful on what accusations you make 

U should be glad bhforce answered ur post and so detailed and thorougly too.

Many other posters including me would have called u a troll and chased u off.

Seriously? Dating maryada? Wat next? How to go eat at a bar ...rules?? Sikhi is not just abt rules or controlling every aspect of ur life.

But in case u r genuine .

There is no dating. We only have 2 martial states. Single or married. And the goal is to go from single to married without any hassle, without going out with a bunch of different ppl while u try them out to figure out wat u like wat u dont. 

Basically u look for a marriage partner. If ur parents or elders can help u fantastic. If they cant. Then u have to do all the hard work. 

Ive been taught there r 6 things that must match when getting married. 

1. Age. Like no more than 5 year difference in my opinion.

2. Money status. If u grew up rich, u will have a hard time adjusting to living in a poor one. U wont know how to save or how to buy at thrift shops etc

3. Religion.

4. Health

5. Same language and culture

6. Ethnicity/nationality

These 6 things plus watever things u might need. Then u have to find someone who fits this criteria. And then approach them and ask them to consider u for marriage.. See why having an elder person helps? 

If they agree to consider u for marriage. Then and only then can u meet up at public places or talk on social media. Its like u guys r engaged. After a few meetings. I would say 3. You guys decide if u guys r compatible. Then either a yes or no for marriage is given. 

Most western ppl worry abt love. And then spend their 20s 30s looking for the perfect one or the true love. Theres no such thing. Then in 35s they marry anyone who is left as they r running out of time.To be able to have a good marriage, u just need to get along. I mean  u lived with ur parents and siblings without choosing them. And u manage. Both of u need to be responsible, mature adults with similar goals and values and u will have a nice marriage.