Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Guest Sinner

I feel like my guru doesn't like me

Recommended Posts

Guest Sinner

Guru roop piare saadhsangat ji I have a big concern. I really feel like my guru doesn't like me. Ever since I've come into sikhi it's like I'll take 2 steps forward and then they'll do something like make me uncomfortable in sangat or treat me differently to other people in sangat or make relationships (friendships) with people in my sangat very awkward. I came into sikhi through sangat and then some of the people in that sangat just became very slightly more distant from me and it wasn't anything malicious (it felt like it but I'm sure it wasn't) but they didnt treat me with the same love and respect as they did before. I'm not asking for love and respect I'm just curious as to what I did for them to not like me as much anymore. I showed them so much love literally like how much I would show to my own brother and they always just kept conversations and interaction with me minimal even though it wasn't like that before. And even coming into sikhi I feel like I take 2 steps forward and then guru takes me 3 steps back and then I fight back and go 4 steps forward and they take my 5 steps back and this literally happens constantly and it's so exhausting. I really feel like since I've come into sikhi I don't belong in sikhi and literally the only thing keeping me here is 1 or 2 people in my sangat which has about 15-25 people in it that we know and talk to and that I have so much love for my guru but I feel like my guru doesn't like me and if that is the case I literally have nothing left in my life. Yeah I've made so many mistakes but I defintley have noticed all my mistakes, even if they're so small, get blown up so big and they always make me look so bad Infront of sangat and stuff even though there's people in my sangat that make mistakes all the time but no-one speaks to them any differently or treats them any differently than how they treat me when I make a mistake. I literally don't have any hopes for sikhi infact I wanted to get and take amrit but now I'm having doubts about that as well cos I always thought when I take amrit everything will be fine but now given all the times that in the past that I thought "everything will be fine" like when one person in my sangat who was a huge part of it started acting weird with me, it just got worse and now I'm thinking after amrit what if this carries on and I have to live my whole life like this. And I can't even feel like I can ask for a hukamnama because I feel like there's a chance I'll  get one that has a go at me after everything I've already been through or puts me off my sikhi and because it comes straight from my guru I'll never be able to bounce back from a hukamnama that like that would the final thing that would just make me out my hands up  

Can someone please help me? I'm literally broken. I've been fighting this for so long and now I'm seriously having doubts. 

theres no saadhsangat without naam and In saadhsangat all problems are solved so now we have naam I'm sure there will be a solution to this.

tjank you everyone for your time. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'll suggest that you visit some other Gurdwara for change.

Going for Sadhsangat at a different time might also help.

For long term Sangat get married to a likeminded Sikh. 

Volunteer at Sikh Events meet new Sangat 

https://www.instagram.com/uksikhupdates/?hl=en

Waheguru ji loves all irrespective of our demerits.

ਮਿਠ ਬੋਲੜਾ ਜੀ ਹਰਿ ਸਜਣੁ ਸੁਆਮੀ ਮੋਰਾ ॥

My Dear Lord and Master, my Friend, speaks so sweetly.

ਹਉ ਸੰਮਲਿ ਥਕੀ ਜੀ ਓਹੁ ਕਦੇ ਨ ਬੋਲੈ ਕਉਰਾ ॥

I have grown weary of testing Him, but still, He never speaks harshly to me.

ਕਉੜਾ ਬੋਲਿ ਨ ਜਾਨੈ ਪੂਰਨ ਭਗਵਾਨੈ ਅਉਗਣੁ ਕੋ ਨ ਚਿਤਾਰੇ ॥

He does not know any bitter words; the Perfect Lord God does not even consider my faults and demerits.

ਪਤਿਤ ਪਾਵਨੁ ਹਰਿ ਬਿਰਦੁ ਸਦਾਏ ਇਕੁ ਤਿਲੁ ਨਹੀ ਭੰਨੈ ਘਾਲੇ ॥

It is the Lord's natural way to purify sinners; He does not overlook even an iota of service.

https://gurbaninow.com/shabad/2911/33308

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sikhi is khaneo tikhi, valo Niki. Unless there are instant results people become weak and expect Guru Sahib to work miracles in their favour. There is no easy answer it's a hard slog for everyone, until you reach the stage of sehaj and have complete control of senses and 5 chor. It's for the reasons you've outlined emphasis has been placed on increasing naam and performing Ardas. This is why Mahapurash perform immense  naam kamai to burn sanchit karams and thus form a close bond with Vaheguru Ji. Without this effort we have little chance of finding inner peace, the only other way is direct kirpa 'bin bhaga Satsang na labhai, bin Sangat mail bhareejai jeeo'.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

21 hours ago, Guest Sinner said:

Guru roop piare saadhsangat ji I have a big concern. I really feel like my guru doesn't like me. Ever since I've come into sikhi it's like I'll take 2 steps forward and then they'll do something like make me uncomfortable in sangat or treat me differently to other people in sangat or make relationships (friendships) with people in my sangat very awkward. I came into sikhi through sangat and then some of the people in that sangat just became very slightly more distant from me and it wasn't anything malicious (it felt like it but I'm sure it wasn't) but they didnt treat me with the same love and respect as they did before. I'm not asking for love and respect I'm just curious as to what I did for them to not like me as much anymore. I showed them so much love literally like how much I would show to my own brother and they always just kept conversations and interaction with me minimal even though it wasn't like that before. And even coming into sikhi I feel like I take 2 steps forward and then guru takes me 3 steps back and then I fight back and go 4 steps forward and they take my 5 steps back and this literally happens constantly and it's so exhausting. I really feel like since I've come into sikhi I don't belong in sikhi and literally the only thing keeping me here is 1 or 2 people in my sangat which has about 15-25 people in it that we know and talk to and that I have so much love for my guru but I feel like my guru doesn't like me and if that is the case I literally have nothing left in my life. Yeah I've made so many mistakes but I defintley have noticed all my mistakes, even if they're so small, get blown up so big and they always make me look so bad Infront of sangat and stuff even though there's people in my sangat that make mistakes all the time but no-one speaks to them any differently or treats them any differently than how they treat me when I make a mistake. I literally don't have any hopes for sikhi infact I wanted to get and take amrit but now I'm having doubts about that as well cos I always thought when I take amrit everything will be fine but now given all the times that in the past that I thought "everything will be fine" like when one person in my sangat who was a huge part of it started acting weird with me, it just got worse and now I'm thinking after amrit what if this carries on and I have to live my whole life like this. And I can't even feel like I can ask for a hukamnama because I feel like there's a chance I'll  get one that has a go at me after everything I've already been through or puts me off my sikhi and because it comes straight from my guru I'll never be able to bounce back from a hukamnama that like that would the final thing that would just make me out my hands up  

Can someone please help me? I'm literally broken. I've been fighting this for so long and now I'm seriously having doubts. 

theres no saadhsangat without naam and In saadhsangat all problems are solved so now we have naam I'm sure there will be a solution to this.

tjank you everyone for your time. 

Guru Ji loves all of us. Carry on trying and never stop. I have learnt that all of this is just a MASSIVE TEST. Its to test how much faith we have. If we give up that easy then our faith is not strong so the reason why Guru Ji is doing this is to build up your faith in Vaheguru. Also Guru Ji isn't doing this because He hates you but its because He loves you a lot so is trying to make you a better person because no-one is perfect apart from Guru Ji and Vaheguru. We are your Sangat and we want the best for all of our brothers and sisters including you aswell (obviously). I hope this helped Ji.

VJKK VJKF 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 OP Sinner, not everybody has the company of sangat. I’ve never had the communication of physical sangat and that will probably be the case with many people.

Being with the right sangat or within a sangat is a benefit, but if one doesn’t have that, then it should not change the love between you and Guruji. 

Everybody is going to be different and it’s impossible to be the same all the time. You should participate in sangat during Gurbani or kirtan. If nobody talks to you, so what. At least you’ve been sitting in physical sangat. It’s not necessary to be best friends with everybody, as Guruji is who you go for to the Gurdwara. They will give you the Hukamnama that’s meant for you and don’t worry about it being the right or wrong one for you. 

You need to find God from within also. And work on the trust and relationship between you and Guruji, that’s what counts. 

If you find that you are very uncomfortable, then go to another Gurdwara with different sangat or go at different times of the day or when there’s less sangat, then you will feel the change. 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by simran345
  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Sangat is when you sit and worship.  it is NOT about socialising or friendships.  you are confusing Guru with socialising with people.  Are you looking to learn from Guru ji or are you looking for a social group?

honestly you should be too busy thinking of God's merciful presence to even bother or notice anyone else, whether they are kind to you rude.  if you have genuine faith is God, you will lose interest in surrounding people.  their attitude wont make any difference to you.  you should be too busy doing shabad vichaar.

with sangat, you are sitting in a group all focusing on God/Guruji.  So everyone's faith effects the atmosphere.  Just like alot of people in a room effect the room temperature.  The other people could be saints, sinners, your wellwisher, your enemy, it doesnt matter because the focus is all on God.  someone may have really great faith in Guruji, and everyone else gets effected by the atmosphere of their faith.  someone else may have only a tiny amount of faith, but still their 'tiny' faith contributes to the atmosphere of worship.

you are only feeling 'broken' because you have the wrong ideas and approach.  reexamine your attitude to all this and you will feel blissful in a second.   think like this:  I am Gurus servant.  I am here to serve and learn from Guruji only.  I only concern myelf with Him and what He wants.  I will serve Guru ji even if I have to put aside my pride I will happily do so, to make Him happy.  Losing pride does not mean low self esteem.  It just means losing false ideas about anyone owing you respect etc.  Your self esteem then becomes untouchable, because it is harboured in God only.  other peoples behaviour doesnt affect you.

Guru ji loves you unconditionally.  Do you love Him?  Since you are ignoring and forgetting Him in favour of other people?  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

if you have genuine faith in God, you don't long for human company anymore.  but i find people are not willing to have faith in God these days, because they consider themselves too clever.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 18/3/2018 at 9:54 AM, Guest Sinner said:

 

Guru roop piare saadhsangat ji I have a big concern. I really feel like my guru doesn't like me.

Ever since I've come into sikhi it's like I'll take 2 steps forward and then they'll do something like make me uncomfortable in sangat or treat me differently to other people in sangat or make relationships (friendships) with people in my sangat very awkward. I came into sikhi through sangat and then some of the people in that sangat just became very slightly more distant from me and it wasn't anything malicious (it felt like it but I'm sure it wasn't) but they didnt treat me with the same love and respect as they did before. I'm not asking for love and respect I'm just curious as to what I did for them to not like me as much anymore. I showed them so much love literally like how much I would show to my own brother and they always just kept conversations and interaction with me minimal even though it wasn't like that before. And even coming into sikhi I feel like I take 2 steps forward and then guru takes me 3 steps back and then I fight back and go 4 steps forward and they take my 5 steps back and this literally happens constantly and it's so exhausting.

I really feel like since I've come into sikhi I don't belong in sikhi and literally the only thing keeping me here is 1 or 2 people in my sangat which has about 15-25 people in it that we know and talk to and that I have so much love for my guru but I feel like my guru doesn't like me and if that is the case I literally have nothing left in my life.

Yeah I've made so many mistakes but I defintley have noticed all my mistakes, even if they're so small, get blown up so big and they always make me look so bad Infront of sangat and stuff even though there's people in my sangat that make mistakes all the time but no-one speaks to them any differently or treats them any differently than how they treat me when I make a mistake. I literally don't have any hopes for sikhi infact I wanted to get and take amrit but now I'm having doubts about that as well cos I always thought when I take amrit everything will be fine but now given all the times that in the past that I thought "everything will be fine" like when one person in my sangat who was a huge part of it started acting weird with me, it just got worse and now I'm thinking after amrit what if this carries on and I have to live my whole life like this. And I can't even feel like I can ask for a hukamnama because I feel like there's a chance I'll  get one that has a go at me after everything I've already been through or puts me off my sikhi and because it comes straight from my guru I'll never be able to bounce back from a hukamnama that like that would the final thing that would just make me out my hands up  

Can someone please help me? I'm literally broken. I've been fighting this for so long and now I'm seriously having doubts.

theres no saadhsangat without naam and In saadhsangat all problems are solved so now we have naam I'm sure there will be a solution to this.

tjank you everyone for your time. 

 

Guest Sinner Jee,

we are all sinners in higher or lesser measure, but we are sinners, that is for sure.

You taking 2 steps forward and then some back, well that is not new also, so are we all also not better than you, some are even worse, they call them sikhs, but they go on  bullying and enjoy troubling people, inflating their ego...

So come on, you are not that bad, at least you do not hurt the feelings of others.

You must bear in mind, that you go to the Guru Dwaras, to listen the keertan and kathas, the wadeayee  of Guru Jee, not to mingle with people, so do not get disheartened if they the people want to stay away from you, that is their problem.

People do change with times, just as their state of mind changes, what else can the poor people do? It is in their nature to change, sometimes for good, some for bad. You see, as long as men are under  the control of the trickery mind, they are bound to change helplessly.

Maybe, Wahiguru wants to make you stronger right from just now.  You know what, when we shall leave this eartly plane, we shall go all alone by ourselves, only He and His bhakti shall only go with us.

Then you should also know, that Guru Jee has never ever stopped loving you, He cares for you, just as for any of His jeev atmas; the thing is, most of us have turned our faces away from Him, so we feel lost.

He is like the Sun, giving His light and warmth to all equally, whosoever is faced towards Him, independent of any distinctions of color, class, gender, or being a sinner or a saint.

Just as the Sun can not change its nature, so is Wahiguru Akal Purukh. He is so generous, that He overlooks all our sins, nor does He judge anybody.

If ever we find ourselves strayed, it is because our own karam, our planted seeds, which give us the fruits according to those of our very own karam.

We are all weak and dumb, and shameless to the extent, that we even blame Him, when He is nothing but an Infinite ocean of love and mercy.

Our Guru Sahiban have beautifully described Him as : Aad Sach, Jugad sach, Hae Bhee Sach, Nanak hosee bhee Sach.

You see, He is changeless, He has been truly an endless fountain of Infinite love, right from the very beginning, He has been changelessly so during all the Yugas, He is changeless even now, and He shall remain changeless in His swaroop of Pyaar, for the the endless time.

You see, unlike us, or gods and goddesses,He is pure always, for He has no mind, He is all purity, love and mercy, so it is baseless to accuse Him of not loving us, or Him stop loving us, for only under the influence of mind does one change or waver.

We can put caps on the bottles, but no one can ever put a cap on the ocean. This is the case of a limited material ocean.

So then, how can anything be put on Him, who is an Infinite Ocean of Love and mercy, in order to make Him stop pouring out His love ?

The very fact, that He loves you, is that you are not satisfied with life, and are still looking ahead for His love. Believe it, if it was not for Him, one could not even think of Him. It is more about his pull from within yourself, than any amount of efforts of yours to come near Him.

Just a small benti, please never ever blame or accuse Sachay Patshah Wahiguru Akal Purukh, whether willingly or unintentionally.

It is the biggest injustice, that one can commit, not only towards Him, but towards oneself, for we are turning our faces away from Him; and we all know what happens then;  man, maya, kal, yam doots, have all the freedom given by us to them, to keep us trapped in this mayavee creation .

Do His Simran / japna, as much as possible whether you feel you enjoy it or not, just keep going on, He is our anchor, and without this bhakti, there is no way for no one.

Stay blessed.

Sat Sree Akal.

Edited by harsharan000
  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/18/2018 at 2:54 AM, Guest Sinner said:

Guru roop piare saadhsangat ji I have a big concern. I really feel like my guru doesn't like me. Ever since I've come into sikhi it's like I'll take 2 steps forward and then they'll do something like make me uncomfortable in sangat or treat me differently to other people in sangat or make relationships (friendships) with people in my sangat very awkward. I came into sikhi through sangat and then some of the people in that sangat just became very slightly more distant from me and it wasn't anything malicious (it felt like it but I'm sure it wasn't) but they didnt treat me with the same love and respect as they did before. I'm not asking for love and respect I'm just curious as to what I did for them to not like me as much anymore. I showed them so much love literally like how much I would show to my own brother and they always just kept conversations and interaction with me minimal even though it wasn't like that before. And even coming into sikhi I feel like I take 2 steps forward and then guru takes me 3 steps back and then I fight back and go 4 steps forward and they take my 5 steps back and this literally happens constantly and it's so exhausting. I really feel like since I've come into sikhi I don't belong in sikhi and literally the only thing keeping me here is 1 or 2 people in my sangat which has about 15-25 people in it that we know and talk to and that I have so much love for my guru but I feel like my guru doesn't like me and if that is the case I literally have nothing left in my life. Yeah I've made so many mistakes but I defintley have noticed all my mistakes, even if they're so small, get blown up so big and they always make me look so bad Infront of sangat and stuff even though there's people in my sangat that make mistakes all the time but no-one speaks to them any differently or treats them any differently than how they treat me when I make a mistake. I literally don't have any hopes for sikhi infact I wanted to get and take amrit but now I'm having doubts about that as well cos I always thought when I take amrit everything will be fine but now given all the times that in the past that I thought "everything will be fine" like when one person in my sangat who was a huge part of it started acting weird with me, it just got worse and now I'm thinking after amrit what if this carries on and I have to live my whole life like this. And I can't even feel like I can ask for a hukamnama because I feel like there's a chance I'll  get one that has a go at me after everything I've already been through or puts me off my sikhi and because it comes straight from my guru I'll never be able to bounce back from a hukamnama that like that would the final thing that would just make me out my hands up  

Can someone please help me? I'm literally broken. I've been fighting this for so long and now I'm seriously having doubts. 

theres no saadhsangat without naam and In saadhsangat all problems are solved so now we have naam I'm sure there will be a solution to this.

tjank you everyone for your time. 

Very well could be a blessing in disguise. If we dedicated ourselves to the Path and it simply resulted in praise from everyone the ego would only grow stronger. Dying while yet alive can be painful, seemingly, but this type of temporary pain is a blessing. I feel you're making incredible gains and people's response could be part of Vaheguru Ji's Kirpa and may be more about the state of those individuals than you on the other hand. You may be being shielded from unnecessary connection or those not truly on the same path. Stay strong in your Sikhi. 

  • Like 1
  • Confused 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

my biggest tests in life have been since i became a Singh. But trust me brother, the bigger the tests, the more attention our Guru is putting on us. it is upto us to pass these tests and not willow in self pity. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your content will need to be approved by a moderator

Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoticons maximum are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

×