Is it allowed to stay unmarried?

[Guest Convertgirl]

I come from a hindu background but I believe in sikhi and taking steps towards amrit, but my family is against it and wants me to follow just in heart and not do anything that shows other's that I am a sikh and I should get married and live a normal life. They say conversion wouldn't be accepted in their society and people will say bad things and also marriage will be difficult. I am curious to know what does sikhi say about celibacy and how do I handle this problem?

[Dsinghd]

Welcome to Sikhi sister. Celibacy is allowed.

[Guest 123]

I understand what you are saying. You have to be strong. This is Kalyug and people will test you and try and stop you from doing what you feel is right in your heart. This is common even in Sikh families where for example the parents are ignorant and children are devoted, therefore conflicts arise. 

If you are strong in your faith then nothing will obstruct you. 

Also this issue about conversion is false since you are not changing religion or anything of the sort, but following the true guru to release yourself from bondage, become one and achieve the purpose of life. Sikhi is not a religion but since outsiders have nothing to compare it to, it is falsely labelled as religion.

Whatever is on the inside will be revealed on the outside. As a seed develops into a flower, sikhi will manifest outwardly too if you have planted the seed within your heart. 

Don't have fears of things going wrong or not being able to get married. You will be able to get married to a Sikh if you wanted to. If you wanted to stay celibate that is also perfectly acceptable too. You are not forced into doing anything you don't want to. I know of Sikhs that choose not to get married as they feel comfortable that way and spend their time doing bhagati. Again this is not better nor worse than someone getting married but just a decision in which they feel most comfortable. 

I hope everything works out for you. 

 

[Kira]

Celibacy is allowed, there were many many great Mahapurkhs in the Panth who were Celibate (Baba Deep Singh Ji Shaheed for example), but the life of the householder is still optimal. You could (and imo should) find a Sikh groom for yourself, I'm sure there are plenty of connections who can help you out there. As for communities..well they're temporary, you'll find new ones and your family will in time learn to accept your choice as time heals all wounds. Just be strong  and have faith in Maharaj, He's the master of both worlds and he will do what is right for you.

[harsharan000]

Staying celibate or married, is a choice of free will to remain so. In that sense, Sikhee is a path of love, and is against any type of oppression or tyranny, be it from anybody.

No one should be obliged or pushed to do the contrary against one´s will.

Though many a times, being married is helpful, for when the winds of kaam blow hard, usually one is knocked out, unless one has the anchored oneself strongly at the Lotus Feet of Wahiguru Akal Purukh, through intense love and devotion.

Anyhow, to best handle this or any situation, the only way is giving oneself totally unto Him, with mind, body, and soul; then we need not to worry, for then, He will be our pritpal rakhanhaar.

Only then shall we have the strength, faith  and courage to face any situations smilingly, for we will know that everything which comes, is by His hukum, by His Kirpa, worldly manmat people will question and doubt, but it is matter of a bhagat and his/her lover Wahiguru, to have that high avastha sharda.

Stay blessed.

Sat Sree Akal.

 

[singhbj singh]

According to Gurbani one can be Grehasti or Bairaagi or Abhaagi.

Being Bairaagi comes with a rider that one must remain detached which is Extremely difficult disposition.

Therefore most namesake or fake Bairaagi's actually end up being Abhaagi's.

ਕਬੀਰ ਜਉ ਗ੍ਰਿਹੁ ਕਰਹਿ ਤ ਧਰਮੁ ਕਰੁ ਨਾਹੀ ਤ ਕਰੁ ਬੈਰਾਗੁ ॥
Kabeer Jo Grihu Karehi Th Dhharam Kar Naahee Th Kar Bairaag ||
कबीर जउ ग्रिहु करहि त धरमु करु नाही त करु बैरागु ॥
Kabeer, if you live the householder's life, then practice righteousness; otherwise, you might as well retire from the world.

ਬੈਰਾਗੀ ਬੰਧਨੁ ਕਰੈ ਤਾ ਕੋ ਬਡੋ ਅਭਾਗੁ ॥੨੪੩॥
Bairaagee Bandhhan Karai Thaa Ko Baddo Abhaag ||243||
बैरागी बंधनु करै ता को बडो अभागु ॥२४३॥
If someone renounces the world, and then gets involved in worldly entanglements, he shall suffer terrible misfortune. ||243||

Source - https://www.searchgurbani.com/guru-granth-sahib/ang/1377/line/58761

Therefore it is advisable to follow Grehasti marg especially if you are a female reason being -

ਇਸਤ੍ਰੀ ਰੂਪ ਚੇਰੀ ਕੀ ਨਿਆਈ ਸੋਭ ਨਹੀ ਬਿਨੁ ਭਰਤਾਰੇ ॥੧॥
इसत्री रूप चेरी की निआई सोभ नही बिनु भरतारे ॥१॥
Istari rup cheri ki niai sobh nahi bin bhartare. ||1||

Source - http://www.srigranth.org/servlet/gurbani.gurbani?Action=Page&Param=1268&g=1&h=1&r=1&t=1&p=0&k=0

[harsharan000]

On 10/3/2018 at 3:45 PM, Guest Convertgirl said:

I come from a hindu background but I believe in sikhi and taking steps towards amrit, but my family is against it and wants me to follow just in heart and not do anything that shows other's that I am a sikh and I should get married and live a normal life. They say conversion wouldn't be accepted in their society and people will say bad things and also marriage will be difficult. I am curious to know what does sikhi say about celibacy and how do I handle this problem?

Sister Convertgirl,

it would be better, if the word conversion is not used here, for it sounds a bit cultist, and that is not the case. Tell your parents, that you have understood and realized, that by embracing sikhee, one changes for better.  Talk to your parents lovingly and with respect, as it is through them you have got this human birth, and you  by His kirpa, have realized the supreme importance of Sikhee in one´s life for God realization.

Just as for example, a rusted piece of iron, can be turned out into gold, by the touch of"paras", the philosopher´s stone. So does one change, by applying the teachings in Gurbani in our day to day life.

Maybe I sound arrogant, but for me as an human being, Sikhee is the path, where one has the opportunity of leaving behind all our limitations, maya, in the form of multiple gods, goddesses, and turn our faces to the One source of True Light/Akhand Jot, true love, bliss, liberation and the source of everything and everyone, who is none other than Wahiguru Akal Purukh.

Stay blessed.

Sat Sree Akal.