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Indian In-laws


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On 09/03/2018 at 5:40 PM, Guest Kaur 2 said:

VJKK VJKF

I honestly pray this doesn't happen to anyone and to the people it has already been happening to I hope it gets better. I know how it feels: I am only 13 but the oldest child (out of 4 siblings me and my brother and my chachi's two children) and I also live with my chachi and chacha and right from the beginning they have always done farka (treated me and my blood brother) differently to their kids. They constantly teach their kids that me and my actual brother are not their family. I have to hear everything from my chachi in the morning and in the afternoon when my chacha comes I have to hear stuff from him too, apparently I (being the oldest) spoil all my other brothers and sister. I constantly tell him that I am not responsible for their actions because I don't control them its always my fault if they do something wrong and they always say stuff to me when my mum is not in the room. The worst thing is that every morning my chachi does paath yet she doesn't have even an ounce of nimarta and she is filled with hatred for me and my brother just because my mom is pregnant and she has to do extra work, I do more housework than her (for my mum's sake) and yet she still moans. Yesterday I was eating roti and my chacha came and started to have a go at me, I started to cry and didn't even finish my roti but rushed to my mum and told my mum how I felt and started to cry out of pain because I still speak sweetly to my chachi and chacha every morning I say god morning to them and they just ignore me. I honestly don't know what to do and my mum also feels bad because my chachi and chacha are taking anger out me and I suffer the most, every minute of living in my house seems like pure pain, everyday I cry and wonder what I have done wrong. I turn to Maharaj because I feel Guruji knows what I am going through. I hope no-one has to go what I go through everyday. If Sangat could give me advice then I would really appreciate it. That's why I came back to this website because of the pain I needed to share.

VJKK VJKF

WJKK WJKF

I feel sympathy for you just by reading what you are going through.

There is this psychological trick that I use to keep away bullies, and it actually works.

For instance, in PE they say stuff to me I use the trick and they start talking about other stuff like "if i ever used my kirpan". They change the topic.

 

The trick?

I don't know if your chachi/chacha will feel that you are being rude by saying it, but tell them:

Please say more about me, let it all out.

The reason this kept away my bullies is because they feel really guilty. They will realize and then hopefully stop.

Please say it in a nice, soft tone.

 

Here is a short sakhi I heard:

 

A Sant/Mahapursh was doing some sort of smagam/program at a Gurdwara. A Singh came and started making fun of the Sant.

At the end of the smagam/program, the Sant spoke to the Singh individually and said:

"WJKK WJKF, Singh, whatever you want to say to me please say it now. I am listening"

(There was no one in the room, no Nihang singh was there to do jhatka on him :)))

 

The Singh started crying and begged for mercy.

 

Hopefully this helps you later on in the future.

WJKK WJKF

 

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Its really sad to hear all of these stories.

If its any comfort, it will come to an end. Just be strong, thick skinned and live in your own bubble doing simran when all of these things are happening. So when your in-laws are giving you grief you won't be present to take it, only your body will be there. That how I have dealt with similar situations. 

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Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

19 hours ago, monatosingh said:

WJKK WJKF

I feel sympathy for you just by reading what you are going through.

There is this psychological trick that I use to keep away bullies, and it actually works.

For instance, in PE they say stuff to me I use the trick and they start talking about other stuff like "if i ever used my kirpan". They change the topic.

 

The trick?

I don't know if your chachi/chacha will feel that you are being rude by saying it, but tell them:

Please say more about me, let it all out.

The reason this kept away my bullies is because they feel really guilty. They will realize and then hopefully stop.

Please say it in a nice, soft tone.

 

Here is a short sakhi I heard:

 

A Sant/Mahapursh was doing some sort of smagam/program at a Gurdwara. A Singh came and started making fun of the Sant.

At the end of the smagam/program, the Sant spoke to the Singh individually and said:

"WJKK WJKF, Singh, whatever you want to say to me please say it now. I am listening"

(There was no one in the room, no Nihang singh was there to do jhatka on him :)))

 

The Singh started crying and begged for mercy.

 

Hopefully this helps you later on in the future.

WJKK WJKF

 

Thanks so much veerji, I will use the trick when things get worse. Your advice really helped. You said you were going to make a topic about one of your family issues (correct me if I'm wrong). Please make it in the Gupt section because I also really want to help you. Are you allowed to wear your kirpan to school? I'm not allowed and its utter bakvaas. How big is your kirpan? Is it one of the small ones or normal sized ones?

20 hours ago, simran345 said:

Thank you, for your kind, sweet words ??. Your mother will always be your mother and I couldnt be as good as her. I’m only giving my opinions and advise, to help. 

I also call my mother, mama sometimes too. You seem to know what to do and how to deal with it. You’re a good kid that uses knowledge and wisdom wisely, aswell as turning to Gurbani is a good role model for your siblings. 

May Waheguru keep you in Chardi Kala ????

PS: I forgot it’s Mother’s Day tomorrow, don’t forget to spend quality time with your mother. 

Nonsense; you are my mother and will always be. Yes, we might not have met but you have helped me immensely and you can't even imagine how much your beautiful words have helped me. I honestly know nothing but luckily Maharaj has advice for murakh's like me who mess up every single second of their living life. I try as hard as I can to try and get my siblings to turn to Gurbani too and during times of hardship they have Vaheguru's help. Also, I am spending lots of time with my mum and I also gave a present to my mum, my dadi maa, my phuwa and I even gave my Chachi a gift and she was shocked. She looked at me and was speechless. I have decided to not be rude to her but instead let virtue do the job for me. Thanks so much xxx

VJKK VJKF

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8 hours ago, Guest Kaur 2 said:

VJKK VJKF

Thanks so much veerji, I will use the trick when things get worse. Your advice really helped. You said you were going to make a topic about one of your family issues (correct me if I'm wrong). Please make it in the Gupt section because I also really want to help you. Are you allowed to wear your kirpan to school? I'm not allowed and its utter bakvaas. How big is your kirpan? Is it one of the small ones or normal sized ones?

Wjkk wjkf

I will probably make the topic within 1 or 2 days. Definitely this week.

Apparently I wasn't allowed to wear it and they wanted me to wear a smaller one, but they didn't check whether or not I changed the kirpan so I assume they forgot about it.

My kirpan wasn't even that big, it was medium.

I secretly keep a spare shastar in my blazer pocket. I use my kirpan as a reminder more than a weapon.

 

Wjkk wjkf

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9 hours ago, Guest Kaur 2 said:

VJKK VJKF

Thanks so much veerji, I will use the trick when things get worse. Your advice really helped. You said you were going to make a topic about one of your family issues (correct me if I'm wrong). Please make it in the Gupt section because I also really want to help you. Are you allowed to wear your kirpan to school? I'm not allowed and its utter bakvaas. How big is your kirpan? Is it one of the small ones or normal sized ones?

Nonsense; you are my mother and will always be. Yes, we might not have met but you have helped me immensely and you can't even imagine how much your beautiful words have helped me. I honestly know nothing but luckily Maharaj has advice for murakh's like me who mess up every single second of their living life. I try as hard as I can to try and get my siblings to turn to Gurbani too and during times of hardship they have Vaheguru's help. Also, I am spending lots of time with my mum and I also gave a present to my mum, my dadi maa, my phuwa and I even gave my Chachi a gift and she was shocked. She looked at me and was speechless. I have decided to not be rude to her but instead let virtue do the job for me. Thanks so much xxx

VJKK VJKF

Thank you ji for your kind words. I’m nothing, it’s all Guru ji’s grace. That was nice for your mother and relatives, they would be proud of you. 

Waheguru ???

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Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

8 hours ago, monatosingh said:

Wjkk wjkf

I will probably make the topic within 1 or 2 days. Definitely this week.

Apparently I wasn't allowed to wear it and they wanted me to wear a smaller one, but they didn't check whether or not I changed the kirpan so I assume they forgot about it.

My kirpan wasn't even that big, it was medium.

I secretly keep a spare shastar in my blazer pocket. I use my kirpan as a reminder more than a weapon.

 

Wjkk wjkf

hehe lol, I would do that also if I had taken amrit too, that's why I am taking amrit after I leave secondary school (only 2 years left! :ehhh: currently in year 9)

After secondary school I wouldn't care and I am also planning on wearing a baana after I leave school and taken amrit. I have 2 pens in each blazer pocket too, so if anything arises then that would take care of it. I wear 2 kara's too, so they could be also be used as knuckle-dusters. I am tyar bar tyar in my own way.

7 hours ago, simran345 said:

Thank you ji for your kind words. I’m nothing, it’s all Guru ji’s grace. That was nice for your mother and relatives, they would be proud of you. 

Waheguru ???

:) 

VJKK VJKF

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23 hours ago, Guest Kaur 2 said:

VJKK VJKF

hehe lol, I would do that also if I had taken amrit too, that's why I am taking amrit after I leave secondary school (only 2 years left! :ehhh: currently in year 9)

After secondary school I wouldn't care and I am also planning on wearing a baana after I leave school and taken amrit. I have 2 pens in each blazer pocket too, so if anything arises then that would take care of it. I wear 2 kara's too, so they could be also be used as knuckle-dusters. I am tyar bar tyar in my own way.

Take amrit whenever you are ready.

Secondary School meant nothing to me when I took amrit, some people say it's like an obstance since you have to balance out your spiritual life and physical life, which doesn't even make any sense since I would put way more into my spirituality.

 

It's good to remain tyar bar tyar, anything can be a weapon! Your house key, it can easily damage one's eye. The compass you use for your mathematics class, someone from my school got stabbed in their shoulder blade by it.

It depends on how brave you are to actually use them. Some key ways to practice is to fasten up your impact with the shastar (how quick you can move it).

The sharper the shastar, the better. Always aim for key areas that can injure the person severely, not kill them! This includes somewhere near the legs, as it will slow down the attacker. Refrain from going anywhere near lungs/heart/etc.

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Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

2 minutes ago, monatosingh said:

Take amrit whenever you are ready.

Secondary School meant nothing to me when I took amrit, some people say it's like an obstance since you have to balance out your spiritual life and physical life, which doesn't even make any sense since I would put way more into my spirituality.

 

It's good to remain tyar bar tyar, anything can be a weapon! Your house key, it can easily damage one's eye. The compass you use for your mathematics class, someone from my school got stabbed in their shoulder blade by it.

It depends on how brave you are to actually use them. Some key ways to practice is to fasten up your impact with the shastar (how quick you can move it).

The sharper the shastar, the better. Always aim for key areas that can injure the person severely, not kill them! This includes somewhere near the legs, as it will slow down the attacker. Refrain from going anywhere near lungs/heart/etc.

Very true, I also keep a metal danda next to my bed, my kirpan is also near to hand. Talking about my kirpan, it actually needs sharpening I'll probably sharpen it today. Before using my Shastar I would probably use my fists (I do MMA) then, as a last resort, I would use my Shastar. Someone in my school got stabbed with a scissor in their leg.

VJKK VJKF

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Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

10 minutes ago, monatosingh said:

Take amrit whenever you are ready.

Secondary School meant nothing to me when I took amrit, some people say it's like an obstance since you have to balance out your spiritual life and physical life, which doesn't even make any sense since I would put way more into my spirituality.

 

It's good to remain tyar bar tyar, anything can be a weapon! Your house key, it can easily damage one's eye. The compass you use for your mathematics class, someone from my school got stabbed in their shoulder blade by it.

It depends on how brave you are to actually use them. Some key ways to practice is to fasten up your impact with the shastar (how quick you can move it).

The sharper the shastar, the better. Always aim for key areas that can injure the person severely, not kill them! This includes somewhere near the legs, as it will slow down the attacker. Refrain from going anywhere near lungs/heart/etc.

I also wear one of those sharp kara's. I want to get a thicker one though, this is my current one. Vaisakhi's coming up so when I go to the Vaisakhi mela I'll probably get one then.

 Sorry for the bad quality its hard to take pictures in front of my laptop.

VJKK VJKF

WIN_20180313_075151.JPG

WIN_20180313_075135.JPG

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