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emergency advice - Breaking off Engagement


Big_Tera
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How common is it to break of an engagement?

To cut a long story short. I am in India currently  I rushed into a marriage. at the time I was 100% certain of the marriage. But looking back I did not take enough time when considering the marriage. 

I also did not even speak to the girl. Anyways I have found out she might have skin problem on her hands. 

What should I do. I am in the usual situation. Of letting everyone down again. 

If I break it off. But wont it be a bigger tging If I break it off after the marriage. 

I am being pressured into it. 

Help

Currently I have gone through with the Shagun. The marriage is tommorow. 

All preparations are in place for the marriage tommorow. I made it quite clear I do not wanna go through. But was given the usual black mail treatment. 

Of making the girls side angry. And causing big problems.  Ie 

I just feel it will better if I break it off now. As it will be 100 times worse if I break it off after the wedding. 

I am not sure how the engagement system worka out in india. I have heard some say that its common to break of the marriage after the engagment(shagun) if you find out that ypu dont like the family or if you find something out you dont like. 

Obviously being from the uk and marrying someone from I India. I have to be 100% sure. 

At the moment everyone seems so happy. I think the only way of dealing with this. Is doing a runner and not turning up at the marriage. I dont want to destroy this girls life. 

I mean its going cause problems for everyone if I break it off at this stage. 

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2 hours ago, Big_Tera said:

How common is it to break of an engagement?

To cut a long story short. I am in India currently  I rushed into a marriage. at the time I was 100% certain of the marriage. But looking back I did not take enough time when considering the marriage. 

I also did not even speak to the girl. Anyways I have found out she might have skin problem on her hands. 

What should I do. I am in the usual situation. Of letting everyone down again. 

If I break it off. But wont it be a bigger tging If I break it off after the marriage. 

I am being pressured into it. 

Help

Currently I have gone through with the Shagun. The marriage is tommorow. 

All preparations are in place for the marriage tommorow. I made it quite clear I do not wanna go through. But was given the usual black mail treatment. 

Of making the girls side angry. And causing big problems.  Ie 

I just feel it will better if I break it off now. As it will be 100 times worse if I break it off after the wedding. 

I am not sure how the engagement system worka out in india. I have heard some say that its common to break of the marriage after the engagment(shagun) if you find out that ypu dont like the family or if you find something out you dont like. 

Obviously being from the uk and marrying someone from I India. I have to be 100% sure. 

At the moment everyone seems so happy. I think the only way of dealing with this. Is doing a runner and not turning up at the marriage. I dont want to destroy this girls life. 

I mean its going cause problems for everyone if I break it off at this stage. 

talk about leaving it to the last minute you cannot anything now without harming her family's image and herself , she can get treatment for skin conditions easily. you are being a total  twit where's your compassion and just what were you paying attention to?

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3 hours ago, Big_Tera said:

I also did not even speak to the girl. Anyways I have found out she might have skin problem on her hands. 

Not speaking to the girl was the biggest mistake. Why didn’t you speak to her? Anyways, moving onto the skin problem. She might have you wrote, but you don’t know the skin condition. There’s like 10 common skin conditions, which have different treatments and affect daily life differently. So, that’s hardly an excuse to back out, as nobody is perfect and each person is bound to have some sort of imperfection or minor problem. If it’s not a major problem that wasn’t disclosed then you shouldn’t let it get in the way, if you can accept it. 

But now you’re probably asleep. 

55 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

talk about leaving it to the last minute you cannot anything now without harming her family's image and herself , she can get treatment for skin conditions easily. you are being a total  twit where's your compassion and just what were you paying attention to?

Agree with penji. 

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3 hours ago, Big_Tera said:

I am being pressured into it. 

Help

Currently I have gone through with the Shagun. The marriage is tommorow. 

All preparations are in place for the marriage tommorow. I made it quite clear I do not wanna go through. But was given the usual black mail treatment. 

 

So it sounds you’re not ready for this marriage. I honestly don’t know what to say, but things do happen quickly after the shagun in India, as you’re visiting from abroad and time is limited. How did the families arrange it so quick ? Booking venue, caterers buying outfits, etc. You need about a few days to do all that, not like overnight ?. 

 

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