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Should Sikh parents make their children keep their Kesh until they are 18?


Guest UsagKiwan
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Guest UsagKiwan

I was watching this video by BasicsofSikhi where Jagraj Singh was arguing that Sikh parents should make their children keep their Kesh until they reach the age of majority, then  they should be allowed whether to keep their kesh or not. 

My question is.........What about in cases where Mona parents suddenly decided to become Amritdhari and their underage children who (despite being minors) are still preteens or adolescents who still choose to cut their hair. Should these ex-Mona but now Amritdhari parents follow the late Jagraj Singh's advice in the video and make their mona children grow their Kesh despite the resistance they might face?

 

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This actually happens alot. One family was totally mona. Kids did make up and cut hair. Parents got into sikhi thru bulandpuri. Wanted to get there kids into sikhi too. Kids not interested. So the parents took them to diwaans. Asked bulandpuri babaji to convince them. The kids kept attending diwans. Learned alot. But still kept being mone. Dont blame them, its hard to go strict. Parents kept taking them to diwaans. Babji also talked to them alot. Luckily he speaks english. And would do a kids diwaan every wednesday. Where he did katha on spirituality in english and allowed the kids to ask questions.

So basically, parents dont force their kids. But they do try to convince them. Parents put effort into teaching them abt sikhi, send them to all the camps, take them to babas, have spiritual ppl come to their house and talk to their kids. Ask mahapurkhs to do ardaas for their kids. They themselves do ardaas for their kids. And voila. Results happen. 

I would say, changing the kids sangat has the greatest impact. 

Interestingly, a spouse who wants to take amrit applies the same techniques to convince the spouse who doesnt. Look up personal stories. Back to Sikhi or Game of Love on instagram has quite a few of those stories. 

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1 hour ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

Babji also talked to them alot. Luckily he speaks english.

Which Babaji is this, by the way? And what kind of English do they speak? Indian-style? And how good and fluent?

I agree that if your kids are already monas, then they should not be forced to keep hair. They should be given sangat and exposed to discussion on why Guru Sahib said to keep hair, and why we should follow Guru ji.

This is different from the case of Amritdhari parents who give birth to children. There is no reason that Amritdhari parents should cut their kids' hair. As far as the kids having the "right" to do what they want in their life, they can get that right when they are paying for their existence (age 18, say).

There is no reason to accept the world's thinking that cutting hair is the default, and it's only the weirdos that keep their hair. In fact, hair is the default. The people that cut their hair are the weirdos, who are be-iman and disfigure their God-given form, according to Guru Nanak ji.

One caveat though: Even though I think previously mona kids shouldn't be forced to keep their hair, I do think that they should be "forced" to recite Japji, or Nitnem, sing shabads, do sehaj paath, etc, as the parents think appropriate for their age levels. While I sympathize with the kids thinking that they will have a jolt to their school social life if they keep hair, their school friends do not know or care that that they did Japji in the morning.

When I say "forced", I don't mean with a salotar. I just mean it in the same way that parents "force" their kids to stop watching TV, and do their homework. "Force" them to do chores. "Force" them to read books (non-Sikh) to expand their knowledge or vocabulary. "Force" them to do sports. "Force" them to meet aunts and uncles and cousins. Etc.

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28 minutes ago, BhForce said:

Which Babaji is this, by the way? And what kind of English do they speak? Indian-style? And how good and fluent?

I dont know his name. He goes by bulandpuri babaji. Hes really big in canada and getting famous in usa. His english isnt bad. And the accent, quite slight, just makes him sound more mystical and spiritual. Im sure hes on youtube. 

I dont know much about him. But my favorite kathavachak, bhai sahib singh ji canada wale, follows him so he must be good person. ????

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basically your kids are not YOURS , they are a sewa , your duty as a parent is to keep them intact so they have no obstacles to becoming gursikhs when ready and show them the world through sikhi's lens . You have no rights to take a kid's kesh away , that is a paap . Whether you choose to be a mona you still have no rights to do it .

Those who have done it have made it plain to the world that they OWN their kids , so if they get on Naam Jahaaz and have amrit and are now stuck with mayadhari mone for kids , they are only getting the reward of their karams .

 

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12 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

Those who have done it have made it plain to the world that they OWN their kids , so if they get on Naam Jahaaz and have amrit and are now stuck with mayadhari mone for kids , they are only getting the reward of their karams .

Very good way to put it.

Parents of mona kids who later take amrit should stay in a remorseful state that they were only able to awake to amrit so late in life.

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16 minutes ago, BhForce said:

Very good way to put it.

Parents of mona kids who later take amrit should stay in a remorseful state that they were only able to awake to amrit so late in life.

ideally they should wait for their kids and learn with them before taking amrit, not after the fact like the example that was given . Like a good Marine no sikh should leave a sikh behind enemy lines.

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14 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

ideally they should wait for their kids and learn with them before taking amrit, not after the fact like the example that was given .

Good suggestion. Now that I think about it, during the time previous to taking amrit, where were the kids? Normally kids are with parents no matter where they are (relative's house, theater, shopping mall, etc.). So why would they not be with the parents during sangat (wherever that is, Gurdwara, house sangat, Youtube, CDs, books, whatever)?

If you keep kids with you in sangat prior to taking amrit, there's a good chance they will be convinced to take amrit at the same time as you.

14 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

Like a good Marine no sikh should leave a sikh behind enemy lines.

:clap:

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