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Guest Jas

Please, help me. I'm really destroyed.

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Guest Jas

Im destroyed. I thought that my boyfriend loved me. He always showed me love and after a year he said he wanted to marry me, we were already thinking about our wedding. He said he wanted to have children with me and be a happy family. I have no father so this was so important to me. We were happy. I truly love him, l thought l was the luckiest girl in the world because we truly seemed to be in love with each other. I found my boyfriend in bed with another woman. I'm destroyed. l need help. My heart is totally broken. Please, help me. Sorry x my English. Im afraid that my heart will never be the same again. I feel like lve lost my heart and soul. I pray Vaheguroo who is my only real father husband bestfriend and savior. But lm afraid to loose my mind. It hurts too so much that lve thought about death. 

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48 minutes ago, Guest Jas said:

Im destroyed. I thought that my boyfriend loved me. He always showed me love and after a year he said he wanted to marry me, we were already thinking about our wedding.

Well, your first mistake was having a boyfriend. But I can't really blame you for that, because probably no one at the Gurdwara every told you not to date. The "bhais" just do kirtan, they don't tell young people what they're supposed to do to live a happy Sikh life in the West.

Anyway, it's not a bad thing that you discovered the truth.

51 minutes ago, Guest Jas said:

But lm afraid to loose my mind. It hurts too so much that lve thought about death. 

You should be happy that God showed you the reality, not sad. Don't think about death, God gave new a new lease on life.

In the future, you should not date. You should ask your relatives to find a good man for you to marry.

53 minutes ago, Guest Jas said:

I pray Vaheguroo who is my only real father husband bestfriend and savior.

This is the real truth. Try to do paath of Shabad Hazarey every day:

http://www.sikhiwiki.org/index.php/Shabad_Hazaray

Shabad Hazarey:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_L-fO3ocZo

Also you can listen to Dukh Bhanjani Sahib:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83WnhAU4BWg

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There is no point in thinking about death about it, penji.

Life is temporary. Your "boyfriend" won't be with you after you die. (Yes, even if you were still going out together)

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5 hours ago, Guest Jas said:

Im destroyed. I thought that my boyfriend loved me. He always showed me love and after a year he said he wanted to marry me, we were already thinking about our wedding. He said he wanted to have children with me and be a happy family. I have no father so this was so important to me. We were happy. I truly love him, l thought l was the luckiest girl in the world because we truly seemed to be in love with each other. I found my boyfriend in bed with another woman. I'm destroyed. l need help. My heart is totally broken. Please, help me. Sorry x my English. Im afraid that my heart will never be the same again. I feel like lve lost my heart and soul. I pray Vaheguroo who is my only real father husband bestfriend and savior. But lm afraid to loose my mind. It hurts too so much that lve thought about death. 

Don’t be getting emotional because of valentines day and all that. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise that he left. You shouldn’t love him, as he obviously does not love you.  

 

5 hours ago, Guest Jas said:

Im afraid that my heart will never be the same again. I feel like lve lost my heart and soul.

It needs some time to recover and it will. Then you will see what a fool he made of you and don’t be taken advantage of again. Make your mind and soul strong, so nobody can hurt you again. You haven’t lost your heart or soul, they’re still there. But they’ve been hurt and you need to work on loving yourself, instead of somebody else. You are worth way more than anybody else belittling you, so respect your soul and your heart will heal itself. 

4 hours ago, BhForce said:

This is the real truth.

Like Bhforce paji has, Waheguru is the only one that truly loves us, so ask them for help whenever you need it to guide you on the right path. 

 

For the anxiety, also do Simran. That will help you to relax, and accept Hukam, that you were not meant to be with him, for your best interests. 

 

Love God instead. 

 

 

Edited by simran345
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44 minutes ago, Singh123456777 said:

Watch 500 Days of Summer. 

yep I agree it has something to say about actually being mature and not reading into situations what is not there :

 

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Guest IndSingh

Well sister, the first thing you clearly need to do is change your reaction to what has happened. Yes, it is unfortunate what happened, but as you know, crying, moaning, and complaining about how you are destroyed is not going to fix this situation. If your happiness is dependent on another person, you need to focus on yourself first. Start telling yourself that it was HIS loss, not yours. He could've continued on in a relationship with a wonderful woman such as yourself, but now he himself has destroyed that, and now he is facing the consequences. Bless him in your mind and let him go. Let it go....like the song from Frozen. Now I certainly don't recommend going into a BF/GF relationship so quickly, but since you have already been in one, start improving yourself before you decided to search for a real marriage partner.

Hit the gym, take up some hobbies, start donating or volunteering,  read some good personal development books, appreciate what you have, and realize there are people who are MUCH, MUCH worse off and don't constantly cry over split milk. There are people who have no arms/legs, who are completely paralyzed, or even unable to talk or be in a relationship, but they still go on and become an inspiration for others.

You did mention that you have no father, but as you said, Waheguru will always be your Father. So, it's even more critical to focus on yourself since Waheguru is apart of every human being. Start doing the things mentioned above and sooner or later you will be such a confident and strong woman, the right person for you will just show up.

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I've been there. I feel for you bhenji. That pain is ego dying. Attachment dying. You will be better than ever once the pain is gone and the spiritual wisdom takes it's place. Truly this was a painful blessing bhenji. It was Vahegurus kirpa. Gurfateh. 

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Guest Jagsaw_Singh
On ‎14‎/‎02‎/‎2018 at 6:18 AM, Guest Jas said:

Im destroyed. I thought that my boyfriend loved me. He always showed me love and after a year he said he wanted to marry me, we were already thinking about our wedding. He said he wanted to have children with me and be a happy family. I have no father so this was so important to me. We were happy. I truly love him, l thought l was the luckiest girl in the world because we truly seemed to be in love with each other. I found my boyfriend in bed with another woman. I'm destroyed. l need help. My heart is totally broken. Please, help me. Sorry x my English. Im afraid that my heart will never be the same again. I feel like lve lost my heart and soul. I pray Vaheguroo who is my only real father husband bestfriend and savior. But lm afraid to loose my mind. It hurts too so much that lve thought about death. 

That ^, is not how someone who has a poor grasp of English constructs sentences.

That ^ is how someone pretending to be someone with a poor grasp of English would construct sentences, but didn't have the time or energy to do it properly.

That ^ is someone who is not real, does not have a real story, constructing excellent native English speaking sentences but then lazily adding a few (very few) small and meaningless grammar mistakes in order to give the made up story some semblance of reality.

But that ^ person is not the silly one here. The silly ones here are the ones that fell for it and devoted time and energy to offering advice to a made up person with a made up story.

But they ^ are not the silliest ones here. The silliest is the one that devoted time and energy to criticising other people's use of time and energy. Me.

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Guest Jas
6 hours ago, Guest Jagsaw_Singh said:

That ^, is not how someone who has a poor grasp of English constructs sentences.

That ^ is how someone pretending to be someone with a poor grasp of English would construct sentences, but didn't have the time or energy to do it properly.

That ^ is someone who is not real, does not have a real story, constructing excellent native English speaking sentences but then lazily adding a few (very few) small and meaningless grammar mistakes in order to give the made up story some semblance of reality.

But that ^ person is not the silly one here. The silly ones here are the ones that fell for it and devoted time and energy to offering advice to a made up person with a made up story.

But they ^ are not the silliest ones here. The silliest is the one that devoted time and energy to criticising other people's use of time and energy. Me.

Jagsaw you are silly and have insight in your silliness yet continue to be silly! 

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Guest Kaur 125
11 hours ago, Guest Jagsaw_Singh said:

That ^, is not how someone who has a poor grasp of English constructs sentences.

That ^ is how someone pretending to be someone with a poor grasp of English would construct sentences, but didn't have the time or energy to do it properly.

That ^ is someone who is not real, does not have a real story, constructing excellent native English speaking sentences but then lazily adding a few (very few) small and meaningless grammar mistakes in order to give the made up story some semblance of reality.

But that ^ person is not the silly one here. The silly ones here are the ones that fell for it and devoted time and energy to offering advice to a made up person with a made up story.

But they ^ are not the silliest ones here. The silliest is the one that devoted time and energy to criticising other people's use of time and energy. Me.

5 hours ago, Guest Jas said:

Jagsaw you are silly and have insight in your silliness yet continue to be silly! 

LOL!!!

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Guest Jagsaw_Singh
14 hours ago, Guest Jas said:

Jagsaw you are silly and have insight in your silliness yet continue to be silly! 

Says the man/woman that a minute ago pretending he/she couldn't write and didn't understand English properly.:clap:

 

Tell you what...let's call your bluff:  When you say you "found him in bed with another woman".....who's bed ? Was it your bed or was it his bed ?   If it was your bed what was he doing in your bed in your parents house and if it was his bed what were you doing with the keys to his mum and dad's house that you could just walk in willy nilly and catch him in his own bed ?????

Come on now made up person with a made up story...let's have some made up answers......

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On 14/02/2018 at 6:18 AM, Guest Jas said:

I found my boyfriend in bed with another woman.

 

On 15/02/2018 at 5:58 AM, GurjantGnostic said:

I've been there. I feel for you bhenji.

 

You found your boyfriend in bed with another woman?

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