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Guest Kaur

I really want to marry an amrithari man.

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Guest Kaur

I want to marry somebody religious but im not very religious but i honestly do believe that im a good hearted person who does try and follow sikhism as best as i can. I just dont go the Gurdwara or know everything about sikhism. I come from a fairly traditional family so whilst i dont know everything about the history of Sikihism, I do know what we are not supposed to be doing (dating, smoking , eating beef, hair etc). I just dont really have much in common with the more open boys of my age group. 

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Guest Kaurrr

penji if you are genuinely interested and do too hope to becone Amritdhari yourself one day then I dont know about Gursikh men in UK, Canada USA etc whether they would feel comfortable marrying a non Anritdhari girl BUT I think Gursikh men in India may be more open to accepting your request as they may want to settle in UK, Canada or USA. Having said that you have to understand you cannot have sexual relations with your Amritdhari 'husband' until YOU to have took Amrit. It is a code of conduct that Amritdhari's follow.

How about you start learning about Sikhi through various Sikhi camps (annual UK BOSS camp for example), local Gurdwara Sikhi classes, websites, even sonething as basic as trying to go to Gurdwara Sahib on a weekly basis if not everyday. If you REALLY want a gem of a husband (Real Singhs truly are gems!) you need to work for it. Maybe slowly slowly build your lifestyle e.g. stop eating meat, stop cutting hair, doing Waheguru simran or Paat etc. Once you feel you are ready to keep a sehajdhari rehat (someone who is practising Sikhi in a paced manner before easing into taking Amrit eventually) am sure a Amritdhari guy should be interested enough in me to see that I will be taking Amrit soon Then start looking at Sikhi matrimonial pages or punjabi newsapers matrimonial section etc. get parents involved to find a match..

I think your life is about to unfold into a beautiful story - your yearning for a Amritdhari husband is a excuse by Waheguru who wants to bless you with Amrit di daat ! Amazing!

 

Just remember if you want a certain type of company (Gursikh husband) you need to gain the qualities and characteristics of that company in order to be considered and eventually part of that. More importantly be a valuable asset to that company (Gursikh marriage/couple). I wish you alk the best. Vaheguru bless you on your journey.

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You can't expect to be in a perfect marriage until you are connected and in strong relationship with your Creator first. Otherwise anand karaj will be another ritual. Keep focusing on bani, watch katha, learn kirtan. The more you immerse yourself in Sikhi the more likely you will find an amritdhari partner. But don't go to Guruji asking for a partner. Should ask for Naam. 

Then your energy will be more likely to attract other beautiful energy also connected to the One. We have youtube now so can learn heaps (probably learn more than can at Gurudwara these days unfortunately) 

Rather than feeling in between two different worlds, question yourself whats holding you back from committing to Guruji/ vice versa? 

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Guest Kaur
15 hours ago, followthelight said:

You can't expect to be in a perfect marriage until you are connected and in strong relationship with your Creator first. Otherwise anand karaj will be another ritual. Keep focusing on bani, watch katha, learn kirtan. The more you immerse yourself in Sikhi the more likely you will find an amritdhari partner. But don't go to Guruji asking for a partner. Should ask for Naam. 

Then your energy will be more likely to attract other beautiful energy also connected to the One. We have youtube now so can learn heaps (probably learn more than can at Gurudwara these days unfortunately) 

Rather than feeling in between two different worlds, question yourself whats holding you back from committing to Guruji/ vice versa? 

I suppose whats holding me back is that I just feel like its not the right time for me. I have had soo much bad luck and other things that i suppose have really changed my views but i still want to marry someone religious.  But because im not an amrithari i feel like religious boys are not really interested. Plus im soo shy and reserved that i would never approach somebody soo openly. 

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so you want someone who is religious and will bring you up, but u urself won't be. therefore you can't help him up.... that sounds selfish. if i was an amrithdari man i would want an amritdhari women so that she would also bring me up and keep rehit. 

be honest with yourself why u want a religious man; being lazy in own spiritual path?

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17 hours ago, Guest Kaur said:

I suppose whats holding me back is that I just feel like its not the right time for me. I have had soo much bad luck and other things that i suppose have really changed my views but i still want to marry someone religious.  But because im not an amrithari i feel like religious boys are not really interested.

Seriously, thought, you should keep learning more about Sikhism. Also, I would say, you should aim to meet a keshadhari interested in Amrit in the future, not an amritdhari.

17 hours ago, Guest Kaur said:

Plus im soo shy and reserved that i would never approach somebody soo openly. 

As well you should not. Please don't start flirting with random guys in the Gurdwara. Just focus on God, and he'll do the rest:

ਅਚਿੰਤ ਕੰਮ ਕਰਹਿ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਤਿਨ ਕੇ ਜਿਨ ਹਰਿ ਕਾ ਨਾਮੁ ਪਿਆਰਾ ॥ God automatically does the work of those who love the Name of the Lord.

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Guest Singh

Bhenji/Didi/Sister,

It is great that you want to marry an Amritdhari man, but have you truly asked yourself the reason why? Also, you have posted this topic, but you have not been clear on whether you actually are currently seeking a mate or not. Are you currently seeking a life partner and ready to get married, or just looking for advice for future reference?

Whether you are seeking or just want advice for the future, I would suggest you actually ask yourself why you want to marry an Amritdhari man. If you truly yourself are wanting to go on the path of Sikhi, and feel marrying an Amritdhari will assist in becoming closer to Waheguru Ji and living the life of a Sikh, then that is a clear and well-thought out reason.

Once you have answered why you want to marry an Amritdhari Sikh, I would suggest working on self-improvement. You claim to be very shy and reserved, which is not anything to be ashamed off as people have their own distinct personality. However, I would say you need to do things out of your comfort zone, otherwise you may truly never open up in your future marriage. And you need to change your mindset, stop saying things such as I'm shy, reserved, and I don't have anything in common with boys. Start to believe you are a confident woman, ready to take on the world, and there is someone right for you. Repeat this often, along with repeating Gurbani, if you can.

There is someone right for you sister - I hope you have a happy, wonderful life with your future partner.

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Guest Hyprocrite exposer
On 21/01/2018 at 6:59 AM, Guest Kaur said:

I want to marry somebody religious but im not very religious but i honestly do believe that im a good hearted person who does try and follow sikhism as best as i can. I just dont go the Gurdwara or know everything about sikhism. I come from a fairly traditional family so whilst i dont know everything about the history of Sikihism, I do know what we are not supposed to be doing (dating, smoking , eating beef, hair etc). I just dont really have much in common with the more open boys of my age group. 

Well then become religious or go somewhere else, if you dont want to take amrit at least you can keep rehat, in that way you are basically ready for amrit and you can take amrit when ever you want, that is what I am doing and have almost done (just need to wake up at amritvela, do simran and do anand sahib as I dont do that).

 

if you refuse to do that then say I am not a sikh and leave and change your last name (if its kaur). People like you which dont do paath and/or naam simran is the reason why panth is suffering. I assume the reasons you stated are false and only want to marry him because you think he has taken amrit and if he does ardas(for something, like more maya) you will get it. 

Why do you think that you are good hearted so you should get him, there are millions like you, why doesnt he go for them? 

 

Guru Gobind Singh Ji said that rehat is important to me not a sikh, if a person which cuts hair, drinks, alcohol, is good looking, has lots of money  and doesnt do paath does ardas OF COURSE that person ardas will not be accepted, there is a 1% chance of it being accepted but still

 

However if a person keep rehat does lots of paath, always does simran and mool mantar, is basically poor,  doesnt look good, no one wants to marry him does ardas that ardas would be accepted. Why? He listens to the Gurus. 

Now tell me do you listen to the Guru? Do you believe everything said in paath is correct? 

If not then stop saying you are a sikh, if you want to call yourself a sikh, I will give you the correct word.

If someone says you are a sikh? Say no I am a

fake sikh which does not believe everything the gurus say, i am a cheapstake little wannabe sikh. 

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Guest Kaur
5 hours ago, Guest Singh said:

Bhenji/Didi/Sister,

It is great that you want to marry an Amritdhari man, but have you truly asked yourself the reason why? Also, you have posted this topic, but you have not been clear on whether you actually are currently seeking a mate or not. Are you currently seeking a life partner and ready to get married, or just looking for advice for future reference?

Whether you are seeking or just want advice for the future, I would suggest you actually ask yourself why you want to marry an Amritdhari man. If you truly yourself are wanting to go on the path of Sikhi, and feel marrying an Amritdhari will assist in becoming closer to Waheguru Ji and living the life of a Sikh, then that is a clear and well-thought out reason.

Once you have answered why you want to marry an Amritdhari Sikh, I would suggest working on self-improvement. You claim to be very shy and reserved, which is not anything to be ashamed off as people have their own distinct personality. However, I would say you need to do things out of your comfort zone, otherwise you may truly never open up in your future marriage. And you need to change your mindset, stop saying things such as I'm shy, reserved, and I don't have anything in common with boys. Start to believe you are a confident woman, ready to take on the world, and there is someone right for you. Repeat this often, along with repeating Gurbani, if you can.

There is someone right for you sister - I hope you have a happy, wonderful life with your future partner.

I suppose for me theres a sense of security that comes with marrying an amrithari compared to marrying somebody who isnt. Im 22 already and I feel like the majority of boys my age have been out and about doing all sorts and i feel beacuse of my age soo many people look at me and think why is she not married and has she been doing things like that. Boys who are older tend to get away with getting married later. But its rare for them to get married to a good sikh girl. I dont want to feel that im with that majority and I marry a bad person because the people who get married later dont follow my values and my beliefs. Also I feel that i will have the chance to better my childrens life because they will have a beter role model. I have seen cases where the father has completely different values to the mother and the father has told the kids to do whatever they want. They have married outside of their religion, had children with different people etc. And the mother was religious but had no control. 

Sorry for my long rant but i just needed to get it out of my system. 

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Guest Singh
7 hours ago, Guest Kaur said:

I suppose for me theres a sense of security that comes with marrying an amrithari compared to marrying somebody who isnt. Im 22 already and I feel like the majority of boys my age have been out and about doing all sorts and i feel beacuse of my age soo many people look at me and think why is she not married and has she been doing things like that. Boys who are older tend to get away with getting married later. But its rare for them to get married to a good sikh girl. I dont want to feel that im with that majority and I marry a bad person because the people who get married later dont follow my values and my beliefs. Also I feel that i will have the chance to better my childrens life because they will have a beter role model. I have seen cases where the father has completely different values to the mother and the father has told the kids to do whatever they want. They have married outside of their religion, had children with different people etc. And the mother was religious but had no control. 

Sorry for my long rant but i just needed to get it out of my system. 

I hear what you're saying, sister. I'm a few years older, and though I am not a female, I always felt out of place compared to others my age. However, is there any guarantee become someone is Amritdhari, that person will give you sense of security and be that amazing role model? There are no guarantees for anything in life. Judging by your response, you want a good-hearted, religious, hard-working, loving man who will be an excellent father. If that is so, then I would suggest when you visualize and search for the type of man you want, search these for characteristics first. If that person is indeed an Amritdhari, that makes it that much sweeter. As far as the cases you have seen, why should it matter to you? We are not in control of those cases and situations. If it happens to them, it certainly does not mean you will suffer the same fate.

Also, as I stated above sister, focus on improving yourself. Why should it matter what others are saying, you are in control of your life. If you know, deep down inside, you are a good-hearted, confident, wonderful Sikh girl, then keep focusing on becoming that. Remember - we are in control of our lives, not anyone else. If you are not fond of a quality you have, focus on what you do want and what you do want your life to be like.

Trust me, when the time comes and when you are ready - your ideal man, him being Amritdhari or not, will be waiting. Everything you seek is seeking you. 

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I too want to marry an amritdhari man

 

Oh snap did i say that out loud?

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23 hours ago, Singh123456777 said:

I too want to marry an amritdhari man

I think one of the NKJ lot might be available.

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10 minutes ago, MrDoaba said:

I think one of the NKJ lot might be available.

So you have now been upgraded from catholic priest to Catholic type vichola.

Edited by sikhni777
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2 minutes ago, sikhni777 said:

So you have now been upgraded from catholic priest to Catholic type vichola.

What can I say, it's a multi-service Church.

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