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Guest Dukhi

Contemplating divorce..karma

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Guest Dukhi

Here's a good G I got married 4 years ago and my wife was from Indiana and she's completely different than how I even imagined her she's really difficult with my parents she's not making any effort to you know blend in with the family and I've tried telling her numerous times you know I've treated her well I never never disrespect her I just I just don't want to get a divorce but I just feel so confused on what to do I blame my car my blame you know everything that's happened and I just don't know what to do you know what I really don't want to get a divorce but I just feel like in order to maintain my sanity I might have to but I'm wondering why does God sometimes do this to us like i dunno

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Seems like you didn't know who you were marrying and now somehow the blame is with God? Sure that makes sense. This is your mess, you got yourself into it. Why blame anyone else? Gosh it seems like the weight of the world is riding down on your shoulders right now.

Why should your wife "blend in"? Why don't your family "blend in"? Effort is a two way street home boy. Move out. Do whatever you've gotta do to save your marriage.

Doesn't seem like you were ready to get married mate. It ain't a game. When sh-t gets tough, divorce?? Do you have a sister??

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Guest Been there

If we say that everything is written by the great lord then good and the bad are written by the Lord. If today it is written I shall suffer so much then around the corner the Great Lord has written something good. Personally I don't like people who think we are blaming the great lord because you have not experienced the fate of good and no so good.

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Indiana? Wow I didn't know people from there were so different.

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9 hours ago, Guest Dukhi said:

Here's a good G I got married 4 years ago and my wife was from Indiana and she's completely different than how I even imagined her she's really difficult with my parents she's not making any effort to you know blend in with the family and I've tried telling her numerous times you know I've treated her well I never never disrespect her I just I just don't want to get a divorce but I just feel so confused on what to do I blame my car my blame you know everything that's happened and I just don't know what to do you know what I really don't want to get a divorce but I just feel like in order to maintain my sanity I might have to but I'm wondering why does God sometimes do this to us like i dunno

This is one side of story ask vichola as to what she wants. Problem starts when you stop the flow ie don't have kids.

Once you have a baby attention of all members in family shifts from self to the child.

Honeymoon doesn't last a lifetime move to next phase of life.

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Guest Kaur 2

I know its difficult to solve thing out but I would suggest you to pray do ardass and also try to solve the issue, make more communication with her

VJKK VJKF 😊

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Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

5 hours ago, Guest Kaur 2 said:

I know its difficult to solve thing out but I would suggest you to pray do ardass and also try to solve the issue, make more communication with her

VJKK VJKF 😊

I didn't post this. :@:@:@ 

VJKK VJKF

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Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

5 hours ago, Guest Kaur 2 said:

I know its difficult to solve thing out but I would suggest you to pray do ardass and also try to solve the issue, make more communication with her

VJKK VJKF 😊

lol at least TRY to sound like me. Respect for trying though. If you pretend to be me again I am just gonna say that I didn't post that then you will get your baisti complete.

VJKK VJKF

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On 05/01/2018 at 11:31 PM, Guest Dukhi said:

Here's a good G I got married 4 years ago and my wife was from Indiana and she's completely different than how I even imagined her she's really difficult with my parents she's not making any effort to you know blend in with the family and I've tried telling her numerous times you know I've treated her well I never never disrespect her I just I just don't want to get a divorce but I just feel so confused on what to do I blame my car my blame you know everything that's happened and I just don't know what to do you know what I really don't want to get a divorce but I just feel like in order to maintain my sanity I might have to but I'm wondering why does God sometimes do this to us like i dunno

Couples counselling would do u both good. 

Try it, you don't want a divorce and you have nothing to lose. At least you'll know you tried to make it work if u still want to. 

Live free. 

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I still don't mix in LOL ! I still openly declare the fault is not with me. Its the other side to blame.  

Each family has these problems.  Its how you deal with them that makes a difference. 

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Work it out and try it again and again. Every household has these similar problems. Rather than taking this extreme step, why not try to live separate from parents. With no disrespect to anyone but i think current generation just gives up too easily.

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On 10 January 2018 at 7:43 AM, sikhni777 said:

I still don't mix in LOL ! I still openly declare the fault is not with me. Its the other side to blame.  

Each family has these problems.  Its how you deal with them that makes a difference. 

We're free to associate with who we want to. Gurbani says have good sangat, make better friends. 

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      ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਸੇ ਜੀਵ ਕਾ ਵਿਛੋੜੇ ਅਰੁ ਮਿਲਾਪ ਕਾ ਪ੍ਰਕਾਰੁ ਦੇਖਾਵਤੇ ਹੂਏ ਵਾਰ ਅੁਚਾਰਨ 
      ਕਰਤੇ ਹੈਣ॥ 
      ਸਲੋਕੁ ਮ ੩ ॥ 
      ਸੂਹੈ ਵੇਸਿ ਦੋਹਾਗਂੀ ਪਰ ਪਿਰੁ ਰਾਵਣ ਜਾਇ ॥ 
      ਛੁਟੜ ਇਸਤ੍ਰੀ ਕੀ ਨਿਆਈ ਜੋ ਪ੍ਰਮੇਸਰ ਸੇ ਬੇਮੁਖ ਹੈਣ ਸੂਹੇ ਵੇਸ ਵਿਸੋਣ ਮੇਣ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ਕਰਕੇ 
      (ਪਰੁ ਪਿਰ ਰਾਵਣ ਜਾਇ) ਦੇਵੀ ਦੇਵਤੋਣ ਕੀ ਸੇਵਾ ਕਰਨੇਣ ਜਾਤਾ ਹੈ॥ 
      ਪਿਰੁ ਛੋਡਿਆ ਘਰਿ ਆਪਣੈ ਮੋਹੀ ਦੂਜੈ ਭਾਇ ॥ 
      (ਪਿਰੁ) ਪਤੀ ਜੋ ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਹੈ ਸੋ (ਘਰਿ) ਅਪਨੇ ਰਿਦੈ ਮੈਣ ਛੋਡਿਆ ਹੈ ਅਰੁ ਦੂਜੇ ਭਾਵ ਮੈਣ 
      ਬੁਧੀ ਮੋਹੀ ਗਈ ਹੈ॥ 
      ਮਿਠਾ ਕਰਿ ਕੈ ਖਾਇਆ ਬਹੁ ਸਾਦਹੁ ਵਧਿਆ ਰੋਗੁ ॥ 
      (ਮਿਠਾ) ਭਾਵ ਸੁਖ ਰੂਪ ਕਰਕੈ ਬਿਸੋਣ ਕੋ ਭੋਗਾ ਥਾ ਬਿਸੇ ਰਸੋਣ ਸੇ ਬਹੁਤ ਰੋਗੁ ਵਧ 
      ਗਿਆ॥ 
      ਸੁਧੁ ਭਤਾਰੁ ਹਰਿ ਛੋਡਿਆ ਫਿਰਿ ਲਗਾ ਜਾਇ ਵਿਜੋਗੁ ॥ 
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      ਆਗਿਆਕਾਰੀ ਸਦਾ ਸੁੋਹਾਗਂਿ ਆਪਿ ਮੇਲੀ ਕਰਤਾਰਿ ॥ 
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    • Fair enough. While I'm in agreement that idol worship is not part of Sikhi, I believe the tuks you have posted have been posted out of context here. The bani above is referring to those whose spritual mode of worship is only idol worship. Those who think that Parmeshwar resides only in the idol. Those who have no other forms of worship and still think they are saved by doing puja of a pathar/image. That's not really what's happening in the video (I don't think so anyway). Do bear in mind I'm not completely justifying what they're doing. I would need to know more details before I could personally comment what side of the fence this lands on. For example, if this is a regular thing or only done on a certain day i.e. Vishwakarma Day etc, what they believe about Vishwakarma and what he represents for them, and what their intentions are as well as what their sharda and bhaavna is, in performing this Aarti? And of course their maksad. As I always say, things are rarely black and white.  
    • Brother, the reason we (or at least, some Sikhs) do Aarti of Guru Sahib is because we worship Guru Sahib. The reason it's a "big deal" is because it's spiritual adultery. Even if it were accepted that you can do aarti of a saint or elder, they are not doing that. They are not doing Aarti of Lord Vishwakarma, but rather of a picture of Vishwakarma, which sets them up for the spiritual transgression of idol worship. Guru Nanak Dev ji on idol worship: ਸਲੋਕ ਮਹਲਾ ੧ ॥ Salok Mehalaa 1 || ਸਾਰੰਗ ਕੀ ਵਾਰ: (ਮਃ ੧) ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ ਅੰਗ ੧੨੪੦  ਘਰਿ ਨਾਰਾਇਣੁ ਸਭਾ ਨਾਲਿ ॥ In your home, is the Lord God, along with all your other gods. ਪੂਜ ਕਰੇ ਰਖੈ ਨਾਵਾਲਿ ॥ You wash your stone gods and worship them. ਕੁੰਗੂ ਚੰਨਣੁ ਫੁਲ ਚੜਾਏ ॥ You offer saffron, sandalwood and flowers.   ਪੈਰੀ ਪੈ ਪੈ ਬਹੁਤੁ ਮਨਾਏ ॥ Falling at their feet, you try so hard to appease them.   ਮਾਣੂਆ ਮੰਗਿ ਮੰਗਿ ਪੈਨ੍ਹ੍ਹੈ ਖਾਇ ॥ Begging, begging from other people, you get things to wear and eat. ਅੰਧੀ ਕੰਮੀ ਅੰਧ ਸਜਾਇ ॥ For your blind deeds, you will be blindly punished. ਭੁਖਿਆ ਦੇਇ ਨ ਮਰਦਿਆ ਰਖੈ ॥ Your idol does not feed the hungry, or save the dying. ਅੰਧਾ ਝਗੜਾ ਅੰਧੀ ਸਥੈ ॥੧॥ The blind assembly argues in blindness. ||1|| ਸਾਰੰਗ ਵਾਰ (ਮਃ ੪) (੯) ਸ. (੧) ੧:੮ - ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ : ਅੰਗ ੧੨੪੧ ਪੰ. ੨ 
      Raag Sarang Guru Nanak Dev   Guru Arjan Dev ji in Raag Bharo: ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ॥ Mehala 5 || ਜੋ ਪਾਥਰ ਕਉ ਕਹਤੇ ਦੇਵ ॥ Those who call a stone their god ਤਾ ਕੀ ਬਿਰਥਾ ਹੋਵੈ ਸੇਵ ॥ Their service is useless. ਜੋ ਪਾਥਰ ਕੀ ਪਾਂਈ ਪਾਇ ॥ Those who fall at the feet of a stone god ਤਿਸ ਕੀ ਘਾਲ ਅਜਾਂਈ ਜਾਇ ॥੧॥ - their work is wasted in vain. ||1||   The people who do this (idol worship) will sink in the worldly ocean: ਕਬੀਰ ਪਾਹਨੁ ਪਰਮੇਸੁਰੁ ਕੀਆ ਪੂਜੈ ਸਭੁ ਸੰਸਾਰੁ ॥ Kabeer, someone sets up a stone idol and all the world worships it as the Lord. ਇਸ ਭਰਵਾਸੇ ਜੋ ਰਹੇ ਬੂਡੇ ਕਾਲੀ ਧਾਰ ॥੧੩੬॥ Those who hold to this belief will be drowned in the river of darkness. ||136|| ਸਲੋਕ ਕਬੀਰ ਜੀ (ਭ. ਕਬੀਰ) (੧੩੬):੨ - ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ : ਅੰਗ ੧੩੭੧ ਪੰ. ੧੫ 
      Salok Bhagat Kabir    
    • Like I said maybe they shouldn't have been doing Aarti, not in the Gurdwara anyway. But the picture in itself shouldn't be a problem. Mahapurkhs have been known to keep pictures of Devi Devte, they weren't allergic to imagery, especially imagery you could say that makes up "Dharam" as a whole. Maybe not the picture shown in the video, but such imagery was commonplace and is part of our heritage. As is evident from the small selection of pictures I posted. The level of Hinduphobia amongst our people borders on idiocy.
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