Jump to content
Guest teenagesingh

Mum's wanna make me doctor, I want to be something else

Recommended Posts

Guest teenagesingh

 

So, I'm in my first grade of High School and I live in a part of Europe.(getting out of here is like the number one priority for my family, cuz there is no future here) At the end of this school year, I'd have to make a choice for what I'd want to study next year. The two choices are: Subjects that involve reading, like History, Ancient Language, Literature, Latin and English and Subjects like Maths, Science, Biology, Chemistry etc. Now, I'm good with the first choice of subjects. But, my mother wants me to become daktar, anjiniar because, guess what,  these jobs can get you into Kanneda! I want to get a degree on International Relations. But , she listens to nothing I have to say. Whenever I talk about what I want to be, she starts to act weird, like she has Heart attack or starts beating me and swearing. I have started felling depressed and I've even  started thinking about suicide, because I really don't want to do something I never liked. Every Punjabi that goes into college comes out a doctor, then why not be different? Today, she even called a relative in Canada, who really didn't know what I was talking about and told me to become a daktar cuz that's what is in the market. Lol I've already found a good university for international relations in the UK but all I get is threats that if I don't do what they want they aren't going to give any money (which they've been saving since my birth) for my studies. Please I really need help! Can somebody suggest me what to do? Any replies would be appreciated!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

27 minutes ago, Guest teenagesingh said:

 

So, I'm in my first grade of High School and I live in a part of Europe.(getting out of here is like the number one priority for my family, cuz there is no future here) At the end of this school year, I'd have to make a choice for what I'd want to study next year. The two choices are: Subjects that involve reading, like History, Ancient Language, Literature, Latin and English and Subjects like Maths, Science, Biology, Chemistry etc. Now, I'm good with the first choice of subjects. But, my mother wants me to become daktar, anjiniar because, guess what,  these jobs can get you into Kanneda! I want to get a degree on International Relations. But , she listens to nothing I have to say. Whenever I talk about what I want to be, she starts to act weird, like she has Heart attack or starts beating me and swearing. I have started felling depressed and I've even  started thinking about suicide, because I really don't want to do something I never liked. Every Punjabi that goes into college comes out a doctor, then why not be different? Today, she even called a relative in Canada, who really didn't know what I was talking about and told me to become a daktar cuz that's what is in the market. Lol I've already found a good university for international relations in the UK but all I get is threats that if I don't do what they want they aren't going to give any money (which they've been saving since my birth) for my studies. Please I really need help! Can somebody suggest me what to do? Any replies would be appreciated!

Every desi parent wants their child to be a daktar because "it is a well respect a job". My mum also wants me to be a daktar. I actually enjoy science so I was like ok. Don't even think about committing suicide because nothing happens to your soul it just stays in darkness for ages. Guruji will not come for you. Do lotz and lotz of gurbani seeing as this will be the only thing that will help you. Tell your troubles to the one who is the source of all comfort. My dads an anjiniar too soooo..... I know where you are coming from but instead of doing 5 mool mantar's every morning (what most of naujawan think is the adequate amount of paath to do) try to do nitnem everyday. Maybe then you will also be blessed with the gift of amrit. I don't like this country either but we are too lazy to move away. Hope my response helped you ji.

VJKK VJKF

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 hours ago, Guest teenagesingh said:

 

So, I'm in my first grade of High School and I live in a part of Europe.(getting out of here is like the number one priority for my family, cuz there is no future here) At the end of this school year, I'd have to make a choice for what I'd want to study next year. The two choices are: Subjects that involve reading, like History, Ancient Language, Literature, Latin and English and Subjects like Maths, Science, Biology, Chemistry etc. Now, I'm good with the first choice of subjects. But, my mother wants me to become daktar, anjiniar because, guess what,  these jobs can get you into Kanneda! I want to get a degree on International Relations. But , she listens to nothing I have to say. Whenever I talk about what I want to be, she starts to act weird, like she has Heart attack or starts beating me and swearing. I have started felling depressed and I've even  started thinking about suicide, because I really don't want to do something I never liked. Every Punjabi that goes into college comes out a doctor, then why not be different? Today, she even called a relative in Canada, who really didn't know what I was talking about and told me to become a daktar cuz that's what is in the market. Lol I've already found a good university for international relations in the UK but all I get is threats that if I don't do what they want they aren't going to give any money (which they've been saving since my birth) for my studies. Please I really need help! Can somebody suggest me what to do? Any replies would be appreciated!

Singh if you have what it takes to be a doctor then go for it !

Think about becoming an eye or ent specialist rather than a physician. 

If not then how about being a dentist or an optometrist.

Once you qualify, apply for internship at WHO to learn about International Relations through foreign placement 😊

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Jagsaw_Singh
Quote

So, I'm in my first grade of High School and I live in a part of Europe.(getting out of here is like the number one priority for my family, cuz there is no future here)

Italy ?

Quote

Subjects that involve reading, like History, Ancient Language, Literature, Latin and English and Subjects like Maths, Science, Biology, Chemistry etc. Now, I'm good with the first choice of subjects. But...

That tells you all you need to know. You're very academically minded when it comes to the arts. Medicine ain't for you.

Quote

Every Punjabi that goes into college comes out a doctor, then why not be different?

No. Only about 1..something % of Punjabis that go to college becomes a doctor. And of that 1%, 80% had the benefit of a private education leaving just 0.2 % of normal Punjabis that went to college becoming doctors.

Quote

I have started felling depressed and I've even  started thinking about suicide,

Seems to me like you need to see a doctor. Doctors can be expensive these days so the cheapest option may be for you to become a doctor and examine yourself.

Mora of the story ? Mums are always right. Become a doctor.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bro follow your heart, but also listen to your mind. Get a degree that's worth something and you enjoy, if being a doctor isn't something you have the heart for don't do it. Being academic doesn't mean that's the only route for you. You could go into a broad science degree and get a masters in that, by god we as a community need more scientists and less Lawyers.

  • Confused 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Jagsaw_Singh
4 hours ago, Kira said:

Bro follow your heart, but also listen to your mind. Get a degree that's worth something and you enjoy, if being a doctor isn't something you have the heart for don't do it. Being academic doesn't mean that's the only route for you. You could go into a broad science degree and get a masters in that, by god we as a community need more scientists and less Lawyers.

You don't seem to have quite grasped what he or she is interested in, i.e good at. He / she said he is good at the arts but not so good at the sciences. He said he loves the arts but no so much the sciences. Strange then why so many here are still giving him the advice of a career in the sciences. In fact it's more than just strange....it's downright bewildering ! :hairan:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Guest Jagsaw_Singh said:

You don't seem to have quite grasped what he or she is interested in, i.e good at. He / she said he is good at the arts but not so good at the sciences. He said he loves the arts but no so much the sciences. Strange then why so many here are still giving him the advice of a career in the sciences. In fact it's more than just strange....it's downright bewildering ! :hairan:

my bad, I misread. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Crazyman

One elderly man told me that people regret the things they did not do then the things they did do. Follow your heart, at the end of the day your have to live your life, your parents are not living it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Gnostic

Don't despair my friend. 

Your mother means well. The world economy is not good.  It's hard to make a living if you aren't a doctor lawyer or engineer.  

If you pick any other degree my advice would be to get a doctorate in whatever it is so that if the chosen field doesn't have many jobs you can be a professor. 

Suicide is never the answer. You don't have to die just die to maya.  

Your mother and many like her suffer in hopes that their children will have it better.  She fears for your well being in a dark world. 

When she is mad give her a hug and say sahej mamma sahej.  Don't worry. I will study hard and be good and everything is okay. It's in guru ji's hands. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Similar to when I wanted to take amrit but my mum didn't let me (I just took it anyways).

You don't ASK her, you TELL her.

Big difference.

If you ask her, you will make her feel that she has authority.

If you tell her, you will have the responsibility.

 

Otherwise just ignore her. She won't care after you become what she didn't want you to become.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Random-Dude

pyare veer ji,

dont stress yourself, do your nitnem do abyaas mahraj will lead you.

Dont fight with your mom, whenever she starts telling you to become a doctor just say acha ji after that.

And dont start telling her this and that.

Every job has pro and cons

However, its our duty to do the efford but its in mahraj ji hands if you get the reward.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest jigsaw puzzle

Do whats in your heart don't force yourself to do something you don't. I know doctors that have changed career due to high pressure/workload, ridiculous /unpredicatable working hours, demoralisation  and not having a life outside of work. You have to sacrifice your life basically for a job which isn't worth it. Medicine isn't what you think and you don't realise this until you become one. You are forced to do things which you don't want to. The system is rife with corruption and all you are is a pharmaceutical agent prescribing/administrating drugs which don't cure anything but mask symptoms and cause disease through side effects. You are indoctrinated in med school to frown upon natural cures/systems like Ayurveda and are not taught about real medicine. You basically become a walking talking robot for the pharmaceutical companies without you even knowing. I know doctors that keep silent and feel they have invested too much to jump ship so just continue suffering day to day. My friends wished they had done something else. 

in hindsight, i would have told myself to do something with a good work/life balance so i can actually live a life of some quality rather than be enslaved by work. Trust me its not worth it especially if you  want to live a spiritual life. 

At the end of the day you want to be happy and have a life which you won't have if you do medicine. Plus knowing that you are not curing illness but giving  ineffective drugs that cause a vicious cycle of side effects and more drugs is really disheartening. Plus you are not allowed to discuss your own views or alternative remedies or anything which casts doubt/is against the corporate lies of big pharma. 

Allopathic medicine is a fraudulent industry. Its not a job of seva or helping people which you may think. 

e.g http://whale.to/a/allopathy_h.html

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest jigsaw puzzle

Also i would advise you to think long and hard about what career you want and then decide on what you want to do at university. Think about your long term plans. You don't want to go uni just for the sake of it. it has to be valuable to your goals and act accordingly. E.g i know people that having done biochemistry, are unable to get a good job and have gone onto to other degrees due to a lack of foresight/planning in the fist place. So look at the job opportunities and research where the degree will take you. I know it sounds daunting but the decision you make now is really important as it will shape your foreseeable future and you really don't want to be getting it wrong or regretting not doing your own research. So take your time, ask yourself what you want, speak to people that have been in a similar position and don't be forced to live other people's dreams but. live your own. That way it won't play on your soul and you won't have any regrets. Good luck

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your content will need to be approved by a moderator

Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoticons maximum are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • No for gods sake no. 
    • Guest Jagsaw_Singh
      Not so much 'advice' per se but things you might wanna consider: 1) nowadays, a lot of the girls in the pend are pretty lazy generally and not even very skilled in the kitchen with even basic foodstuffs like pakore and somoseh  readily available in stalls in the village. Bear in mind then that the girls that live with their families out on the Khoo (isolated farm house by the well) away from the village are usually a lot smarter and a lot fitter....being used to hard work and very quickly making things for visitors that arrive on the farm. 2) 3 words: background check...background check...background check. Get your 'driver' to chat with the 'drivers' in the girl's pend about the girl and her family's character. The pend's drivers know everything about everyone in their pends. 3) Way too many spouses are currently being refused entry into the UK for failing the compulsory English test. It never used to be like this so your parents are probably not going to factor that in when considering girls but you need to. 4) Once you find someone, absolutely insist that there is no big financial burden on the girl's family regarding the wedding. Even if they can afford it you must remain socially responsible and understand the immense social and economic harm it is causing in Punjab when people see what others (particularly those from 'foreign')spend and feel pressured to live up to those expectations and so take out massive loans for that purpose. Set the right example.  
    • Guest Guest
      Don't you only pesh when you actually have a sexual relationship with someone, you cant have sexual relationship with your self 😂😂
    • Guest Jagsaw_Singh
      If you 'worry' for someone for saying maryada for amritdharis should be followed by amritdharis you seriously have some 'worrying' problems.  If you 'worry' for someone putting into writing opinions on a discussion forum which is designed as a platform for opinions to be shared on a written basis your 'worrying' problem is even more problematic that I initially thought. 'Worrying' is something a parent should do when their child is ill in hospital. It is something a father should do when not able to pay the household bills on time. When a grown man or woman 'worries' at the sight of opinions and facts being expressed in writing that is a sign of deep need for some type of psychotherapy. I would suggest you seek out that help sooner rather than later as this type of mental tension can quickly manifest itself as physical tension. There is help available out there and you should not feel stigmatized and embarrassed about seeking it. In essence, what you have, my friend, is a particular and rather peculiar form of  Allodoxphobia. Within this context, the sight of other people expressing their own opinions frightens you. This fear of an 'opinion' being expressed provokes a reaction in you typical of all fears in that it makes you become defensive and when people become defensive they tend to lash out at the person expressing the opinion. It is fear that drives this psychological state and the key of course is to overcome it. It can work both ways of course as I'm probably a bit too much at the opposite end of it in the sense that I absolutely adore reading other people's opinions because I like the way it gets me thinking more deeply about a particular subject matter and also helps me to become more empathetic...or at least understand that there are opposing viewpoints on virtually every subject matter. I also particularly like those posters on this forum that deploy a Socratic approach to what they write, in that they pose hard-hitting questions and opinions with the objective of provoking the reader into some reflective analysis of the issues being discussed. Of course, I fully understand that those already overcome with a fear of opinions will not be positively embracing of the Socratic approach but as I said in the beginning I am understanding and supporting of everyone's emotional and mental needs and there is help available out there to overcome that fear. I truly wish you all the best in that but most importantly please remember that there is no stigma attached, i.e as the Khalsa know, there is no fear.
    • maybe ask the other members and see what they think?
×