Help with relationship, yes or no?

[Guest MrLynx]

On Sunday, December 17, 2017 at 5:15 PM, sikhni777 said:

She has her mind on someone else.  It is hard to just keep listening to someone.  She would be wanting to know about life here. She would be having many questions if she was interested in a future with you.  

She seems to be playing along only to give you the slip later on. Break it if you can. She's talking to someone else behind your back and her heart is with a desi but her parents want a better life for her. Forced marriage - it might work or she might become pakki get her boyfriend here and run off.  You are better off without her. Not worth the headache. 

This could be an accurate scenerio... or she just may be extremely shy.

[sikhni777]

Shy people cannot manage to live in a hostel alone.  Shy girls can talk on the phone.  Dhyness comes out in person.  You do not have to be told someone is shy. You are able to tell from the way they talk.

If a guy called me for that long I would a mess and want to tell him everything or at least be so excited.  I had a headhunter call me and a few texts had my emotions all in a mess. 

Therefore this is not normal ji. We don't want OP to get into the same problem.  He is the one who needs to decide from their response.  

The girl should have called to clarify things. Not mum to mum taking place. 

[MisterrSingh]

9 hours ago, Guest Guest_Singh said:

I'm beginning to suspect that this is a troll.

Bro, let me get this straight....you were already screwed over once by a cheating girl from India, yet here you are again back at the well looking for another girl in India who clearly doesn't want anything to do with you.

Also, it's nice that you are okay with your parents finding you a girl - that is great. However, your parents are clearly horrible at this whole selection process. 

With all of that said, you're only 25....my goodness man....and your divorce hasnt even finalized yet....and you can't even go to India because of this case.

Take some time (1-2 years) to reflect on all of this and give the marriage thing another try. Please. 

A reasonable mind would assume it to be the case. But I promise you, the dark underbelly of Punjabi society doesn't find anything wrong with the valid concerns you've listed. I'm afraid OP's situation isn't anything that contradicts the ways of some of our people. It's all too common.

[sikhni777]

9 hours ago, Guest Guest_Singh said:

I'm beginning to suspect that this is a troll.

There is an annoying trend to call everyone a troll. Someone could have a genuine problem. There was a bit of a post from somebody whose girl did show pics and things about her ex. So the guy took down all his stuff coz he was going to get legal advice. So this might be the same person. 

It is an unfortunate thing that we do not have people in the community to advice people on such important matters as marriage and relationships. Gossip and the fear of being a victim of it are greater than helping or giving anybody any good advice. 

Again it is upto OP to decide whether he wants to proceed with a rishta where the girl has not been  able to connect to him over the phone at all. 

 

[Guest Guestz]

Thanks to all who replied. It is not strange to ask for genuine advise abd be told im trolling, it isnt nice. Sometimes people seek help, opinion and guidance and others think its a joke...i can see why people dont like asking for genuine advise online

Lesson learned: do not post on forums....better to talk to someone you trust

I wont "troll" anymore and write anything on any social forum. Regards

[Guest MrLynx]

On Wednesday, December 20, 2017 at 7:48 AM, sikhni777 said:

Shy people cannot manage to live in a hostel alone.  Shy girls can talk on the phone.  Dhyness comes out in person.  You do not have to be told someone is shy. You are able to tell from the way they talk.

If a guy called me for that long I would a mess and want to tell him everything or at least be so excited.  I had a headhunter call me and a few texts had my emotions all in a mess. 

Therefore this is not normal ji. We don't want OP to get into the same problem.  He is the one who needs to decide from their response.  

The girl should have called to clarify things. Not mum to mum taking place. 

Again you could be right but none of us know the girl personally so should not judge her. Also there is no reason to assume OP will live in martial bliss with a girl from uk as marriage is a huge gamble...

OP needs to make his own decision & trust his gut feeling as it is often the correct choice.