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Guest BaldeepSingh

SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

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Guest BaldeepSingh

Dear Sangaath Ji,

I am a member of this forum, but I cannot write under my user name; out of shame! I have been married for quiet few years, and like any other marriage it has it's ups and downs, but since last summer things gone really bad. My wife been having an affair with her work colleague, where she works. We have two lovely boys together, but this is making me very, very distressed, it's beyond belief and on two different occasions i even tried to kill myself!! I really do not know what to do. She did admit the affair, but i cannot see myself living with her anymore. She has been exchanging filthy, dirty messages on Whastapp with a guy for the last 7 months, even had an abortion and I cannot just forgive her. My parents are telling me to divorce her. I really do not know what is going to happen, but please remember me and my childrens in your prayers because I am suicidal!! 

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Bhai ji I would suggest couple counselling where a qualified advisor can give appropriate guidance.

Session is private where you both can discuss problems separately as well as collectively.

Suicide is no solution, here are some proven treatments for depression

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Have faith in Almighty & think about your boys rather than your wife.

Edited by singhbj singh
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Guest Troll da pio

99% I think this is same troll as previously. Leave her if you are not troll. 

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Guest Singh

Do ardas or ask a Giani to do ardas for you to get you through this tough time. Increase your simran and do more seva. It will all work itself in the end regardless of what decision you make.  

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Terrible.  However you have to forgive her. This happened to my mamaji. Well they are still married.  They have four kids. Only God knows which are his.

Is she apologetic or is she still wanting more with the guy?

She's probably hurting more than you are.

For the sake of your innocent lovely children,  try to make it work.  Suicide will plunge your soul into darkness. 

No one will come to get your soul. You will hover in the air around for ages. Do not let this burn you.  

Imagine you did the deed. Would you want your partner to cast you away. 

Many people make mistakes.  Go on a holiday alone to recover if it helps. 

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Divorce her and get her out of your life now. The reason you’re feeling suicidal is because you’re feeling helpless and cheated. Don’t be helpless! You have a way out of all this, divorce her and take the kids and good riddance. I highly doubt any court will allow children to visit a philandering mother. Don’t feel cheated, because you have beautiful children that are yours, and that need you. 

Staying any longer with this women will only increase suicidal and depressing thoughts. Ending your life over someone else’s mistakes is absolutely not worth it and to be honest is pointless. Do not let her failings and actions dictate your life, get out of this relationship now!

Adultery is forbidden in Sikhi, so not only has this women cheated you, but she has cheated herself and the panth. She deserves no place in your life at all.

Edited by TejS
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Brother reading your opening post is very saddening. From my experiences and being close to the brink once upon time, I would strongly advise you to step away from the situation, evaluate and move forward. At the moment you are most likely stuck in a vicious circle consisting of a poisonous woman, your children, your family and thats all even before you can think of yourself and what you actually want. Take the time and visit the Gurdwara, do Ardas in Maharaj's charan and ask for the light at the end of this tunnel, trust me from my own experience this was the key in taking me out of my darkest hour. Once you have assessed the situation without everyone else doing your head in, you will see what it is clear and what is not. As an outsider looking in, the sensible option would be to get rid of the wife, put your children first (even if that means a long bitter court battle for their custody or even losing them to your wife), build bridges with your family and most importantly focus on YOURSELF. You are only human brother and it sounds like you have had a majorly f*cked up sequence of events happen to you. Suicide is not the solution, pain on this earth is a lot better than standing in front of Maharaj and explaining why you didn't accept His will and chose suicide. You might be thinking that there is no light at the end of the tunnel, but trust me brother there always is light, you just cant see it at this moment. Have faith in Waheguru, put yourself and your children first, get rid of the person who is causing you this dhukh and build bridges with your family. Eventually bro, you will see your children see your wife for what she is, you personally will move onto bigger and better things and you will see for yourself that there really was light at the end of the tunnel. If you need to speak to me in private, then DM me, but I assure you brother, suicide is not the solution... 

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Divorce and seek custody of your children. Now is not the time to be wallowing in self pity. No man with an ounce of integrity could ever remain with such a woman.

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I would commit sucide myself but its not worth cos of the following reasons.

 

1 your kids lifes are gonna get wrecked big time and god knows what will happen to them or how they will turn out in adult life.

 

2 if sucide is done and it doesn't go to plan like you make it out alive or the body doesn't shut down you are either disabled or left a vegatable for rest of your life is gonna make it a millions times worse than now. And be labeled for rest of your days.

 

Take some time out like keep away from the wife until you calm down and see how it goes. Get some counciling or help about the issue

 

 

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3 hours ago, lostconfussedsingh said:

I would commit sucide myself but its not worth cos of the following reasons.

Don’t ever think like that. Life is precious, a friend has made me realise this. Problems can be sorted with the right help. Professional help should be seeked, if anybody has such thoughts. 

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3 hours ago, simran345 said:

Don’t ever think like that. Life is precious, a friend has made me realise this. Problems can be sorted with the right help. Professional help should be seeked, if anybody has such thoughts. 

I suppose you are right and thanks for replying. Suicide is just the easy way out to be honset. 

 

I used and sometimes have thought rather than dying every day it would be better to just commit sucide but i don't have the strength to do it.

 

But i am gonna stop thinking like this thanks its been a cheer up

Edited by lostconfussedsingh

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2 minutes ago, lostconfussedsingh said:

I suppose you are right and thanks for replying. Suicide is just the easy way out to be honset. 

 

But i am gonna stop thinking like this thanks its been a cheer up

If you need anybody to talk to, here's the thread with some helplines on it.  Everything is confidential. 

 

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6 minutes ago, simran345 said:

If you need anybody to talk to, here's the thread with some helplines on it.  Everything is confidential. 

 

Thanks for the links i will look into it 

 

I used and sometimes have thought rather than dying every day it would be better to just commit sucide but i don't have the strength to do it.

 

But thanks anyway for giving the links

Edited by lostconfussedsingh

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40 minutes ago, lostconfussedsingh said:

Thanks for the links i will look into it 

 

I used and sometimes have thought rather than dying every day it would be better to just commit sucide but i don't have the strength to do it.

 

But thanks anyway for giving the links

Paji, unfortunately I’m not qualified to give you advise, but if you feel like talking to somebody, please do if it will help you. 

May Waheguru help you with this. 

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1 minute ago, simran345 said:

Paji, unfortunately I’m not qualified to give you advise, but if you feel like talking to somebody, please do if it will help you. 

May Waheguru help you with this. 

Thanks i will try to talk about it with somebody yes. I like being alone away from my family in my room. 

 

I have even sometimes have thoughts like playing Russian Roulete like in the movie The Deer Hunter with a 6 barrel chamber and 1 bullet. 

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