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Guest Darshan Singh

SURGERY FOR BETTER HEALTH AND PEACE

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Guest Darshan Singh

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!

I have a personal doubt to discuss .. Lets start the topic (i m already sure a lot of you will have discordant opinions from mine but thats  right :) all opinions are accepted). Before all i'd say i belong to a sikh family and i have faith in god (i sometimes do path and often listen to gurbani), but i m not amritdhari and i ve not even took kesh for the moment. My problem is that i have to deal with a nose which i personally dont like so much (a hooked nose, i mean a nose with a little hump, that is not really in harmony with my other facial features).  Fortunately, people (in school,city,ecc) have never bullied me but i think that, during puberty, my nose got a bit worse :(  due perhaps to two operations ( in childood i had two operations to the nose to improve breathing reducing my nasal polyps, that were harmful for the breathe, and extracting nasal adenoids). Anyway, the current fact (now i m 22) is that when i look up to the mirror i like my self and feel comfortable but when i look to my nose i always feel very down with mood and self esteem,, i think a nose job to ONLY REFINE nose  will surely solve the problem so i will probably do it in future ( i will probably do this  NOT FOR looking "better" around society but at first for my personal satisfaction :) and for my better psychological balance). In fact i am talking with you about nosejob after years full of doubts and paranoia (a very negative period): the last 2/3 years i suffered a lot,  i generally  was vulnerable , afraid of people/society opinions and criticism (also for stupid things, like a comment on my clothes or a majak about my shyness nature,ecc.) and consequently didn't like my self so much so i started to isolate from people, stay always closed at home and talk only with parents. My life was ruined. Fortunately, Thanks to god,to books,to  my family support and also to the aid of a good psychologist (i had some sessions with her, despite my parents were wary at the beginning ) i understood a lot of my problems :) and i am realizing that first of all i HAVE TO to love my self, follow my wishes (of course with some limits) and  live my life with passion, without thinking about other people bad opinions and be conditioned by them !! So one of my first wish as i said is to have a little change only in my actual nose (other wishes are for example to improve in my job, pray for sarbat da pala, help people in difficulty trough socialworks and internet, make my family and community proud, ecc.): i m not in favor of cosmetic surgery generally and i don't like plastic people -_- but i think this surgery is right only if it is going to solve a serious estethic or pshicologically disease in a person who is mature, as in my case.

On the other side i know that nosejob , being a part of cosmetic surgery, is against sikh discipline (according to the dharam, in fact, our body is a natural gift of god so we should try to mantain it the same till death) and as sikhs we should focus on our INNER peace/beauty and then reach guru grace. Me too, as i belong to sikh pariwaar (and one day with guruji kirpa wish to be baptized), i love gurbani and follow a lot of principles like be honest, respect others, do sewa, stay away fromdrugs,alcool, kaam, krod, onkar, and above all try to help people that are in difficulty (in fact one of my future project is to make as a passion instructive videos on youtube in order to spread POSITIVE VIBES and try to MOTIVATE people especially the young people who are in difficulty but have inside great hidden-talents!!) . So, in short words, i am a simple and educated person with a inner spirituality:  I could seem a narcissist person just bcz i want to do this kind of operation (nose job)  but i am sure i m not  full of ego or a bad person (a huge "paapi banda") and i am also in good relation with the local khalsa community!!

FINALLY I CAN EXPLAIN MY DOUBT: IN YOUR SIKHI  OPINION IF I DO THE SURGERY  BUT I STAY A GOOD AND HONEST PERSON FOR ALL MY LIFE , I WILL BE DEFINITELY CONDEMNED BY GOD DUE TO THE OPERATION OR  I WILL HAVE ANYWAY  THE POSSIBILITY TO REACH GURU GRACE AND GOD AFTER DEATH (TAKING MAYBE AMRiT  AND FOLLOWING SIKH DISCIPLINE IN FUTURE)? i know a person who had hair transplantation some years ago and now he is a sardar and i also have an amritdhari excellent friend who in his young age got some permanent tattoos,, for me a nosejob is at the same PAAP LEVEL of  getting  tattoos, having hair transplant or going in the case of  woman to hairfacial laser,    isnt it ???

If i make some grammar mistakes i m sorry , i don t live  in a british country.. look forward for any reply that can help me with my doubt . pulla chukka da maaf karna :clap:

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Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

Take a hukamnama, if you have no access to Maharaj then take a cyber hukamnama. Maharaj knows and wants the best for you so ask Maharaj.

VJKK VJKF

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Guest Me3ee

Do what makes you happy. That's very important for you: mental well-being. I personally don't think God wants you to suffer mentally. Don't feel guilty,and don't let other people tell you what God wants. THEY HAVE NO CLUE! 

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Guest Darshan Singh
20 hours ago, Guest Kaur 2 said:

VJKK VJKF

Take a hukamnama, if you have no access to Maharaj then take a cyber hukamnama. Maharaj knows and wants the best for you so ask Maharaj.

VJKK VJKF

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!:clap:

thanks sis (penhji) for your reply.. i am glad to have read today's hukamnamma from sri darbar sahib, it is the following (translated in english) :

DHANAASAREE, FIFTH MEHL: You are the Giver, O Lord, O Cherisher, my Master, my Husband Lord. Each and every moment, You cherish and nurture me; I am Your child, and I rely upon You alone. || 1 || I have only one tongue — which of Your Glorious Virtues can I describe? Unlimited, infinite Lord and Master — no one knows Your limits. || 1 || Pause || You destroy millions of my sins, and teach me in so many ways. I am so ignorant — I understand nothing at all. Please honor Your innate nature, and save me! || 2 || I seek Your Sanctuary — You are my only hope. You are my companion, and my best friend. Save me, O Merciful Saviour Lord; Nanak is the slave of Your home.|| 3 || 12 ||

Today hukamnamma, as you can read, makes more clear my doubt  :waheguru: ,, infact, as i point out in bold font, it says that god destroys millions of our sins if we meditate on him and we rely firstly upon him! (i always try to follow these principles..) . However, being a thoughtful person (a person who always thinks in his mind , with lot of doubts,and also some unnecessary anxiety) and  of course a little pessimistic by nature,  i still have the doubt that such sin (doing nosejob) could not be forgiven by waheguru in his COURT/DARBAR:/: in shortwords, i am not afraid of the operation itself (i mean the procedures, the pain, ecc.) because i really want to do it on my  own initiative but i am only afraid of the TERRIBLE IDEA that, doing  the operation, god will definitively condemn me to the 84lakh circles only for that sin/PAAP :ghost::ghost: instead of SAVE ME. My biggest life goal, as all of the sangat i deduce, is to seek "god grace" and not to be condemned again after death as in our past lives! 

SO PENHJI WHAT IS YOUR SIKHI OPINION ABOUT THIS MY FEAR? WAHEGURU IN YOUR AND GURU GRANTH SAHIB JI OPINION COULD CONDEMN ONE OF HIS CHILDREN JUST FOR A COSMETIC SURGERY OPERATION??  i ask it also to all the sangat generally,, hope you can understand what i've written and sincerely reply to it :) . Due perhaps to my past frustrating years without enough esteem and very few social relationships, now i could seem obsessive but i personally feel like i have a guilty conscience even if i haven't hurt nobody (god included).. infact longtime friends or some relatives  say me to stay relaxed and that i don't deserve to suffer as im a kind person but i involuntarily see myself as a GREATSINNER just because maybe i m the ONLY Sikh who is thinking about a nosejob ..   PULLA CHUKKA DA MAAF KARNA JI

 

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Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

21 hours ago, Guest Darshan Singh said:

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!:clap:

thanks sis (penhji) for your reply.. i am glad to have read today's hukamnamma from sri darbar sahib, it is the following (translated in english) :

DHANAASAREE, FIFTH MEHL: You are the Giver, O Lord, O Cherisher, my Master, my Husband Lord. Each and every moment, You cherish and nurture me; I am Your child, and I rely upon You alone. || 1 || I have only one tongue — which of Your Glorious Virtues can I describe? Unlimited, infinite Lord and Master — no one knows Your limits. || 1 || Pause || You destroy millions of my sins, and teach me in so many ways. I am so ignorant — I understand nothing at all. Please honor Your innate nature, and save me! || 2 || I seek Your Sanctuary — You are my only hope. You are my companion, and my best friend. Save me, O Merciful Saviour Lord; Nanak is the slave of Your home.|| 3 || 12 ||

Today hukamnamma, as you can read, makes more clear my doubt  :waheguru: ,, infact, as i point out in bold font, it says that god destroys millions of our sins if we meditate on him and we rely firstly upon him! (i always try to follow these principles..) . However, being a thoughtful person (a person who always thinks in his mind , with lot of doubts,and also some unnecessary anxiety) and  of course a little pessimistic by nature,  i still have the doubt that such sin (doing nosejob) could not be forgiven by waheguru in his COURT/DARBAR:/: in shortwords, i am not afraid of the operation itself (i mean the procedures, the pain, ecc.) because i really want to do it on my  own initiative but i am only afraid of the TERRIBLE IDEA that, doing  the operation, god will definitively condemn me to the 84lakh circles only for that sin/PAAP :ghost::ghost: instead of SAVE ME. My biggest life goal, as all of the sangat i deduce, is to seek "god grace" and not to be condemned again after death as in our past lives! 

SO PENHJI WHAT IS YOUR SIKHI OPINION ABOUT THIS MY FEAR? WAHEGURU IN YOUR AND GURU GRANTH SAHIB JI OPINION COULD CONDEMN ONE OF HIS CHILDREN JUST FOR A COSMETIC SURGERY OPERATION??  i ask it also to all the sangat generally,, hope you can understand what i've written and sincerely reply to it :) . Due perhaps to my past frustrating years without enough esteem and very few social relationships, now i could seem obsessive but i personally feel like i have a guilty conscience even if i haven't hurt nobody (god included).. infact longtime friends or some relatives  say me to stay relaxed and that i don't deserve to suffer as im a kind person but i involuntarily see myself as a GREATSINNER just because maybe i m the ONLY Sikh who is thinking about a nosejob ..   PULLA CHUKKA DA MAAF KARNA JI

 

Why do you actually want a nose job done? I'm sure its not even that bad, sometimes our mind over-exaggerates some situations. I have taken a cyber hukamnama on your behalf. I will start off by saying: we are very alike. I also have similar problems to you and I have been able to overcome it. The thing I will say to you is, don't listen to others, Vaheguru loves you the way you are and because Vaheguru is your Father I'm sure He would want you to keep all the gifts that He has given to you. I am only 13 but I really understand where you are coming from.

Image result for by trying to please others nothing is accomplished

I am sure that you are not wanting to please others by getting a nose job done. Imagine you had a son or daughter and you chased a gift so hard just to give it to your child and they were ungrateful about it and went to the shop and got a new version of the same gift you had gifted. How would you feel? Vaheguru has given you something and it is your responsibility to accept it. I'm sure your nose is beautiful just as Vaheguru made it. If other people have a problem with your nose or anything about you and are unable to accept you the way you are then you should leave them, they are unable to appreciate Vaheguru's creation(s). Here is the hukamnama that I took for you:

 

In Gurmukhi

ਆਸਾ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ॥
ਇਨ੍ਹ੍ਹ ਸਿਉ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ਕਰੀ ਘਨੇਰੀ ॥
ਜਉ ਮਿਲੀਐ ਤਉ ਵਧੈ ਵਧੇਰੀ ॥
ਗਲਿ ਚਮੜੀ ਜਉ ਛੋਡੈ ਨਾਹੀ ॥
ਲਾਗਿ ਛੁਟੋ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਕੀ ਪਾਈ ॥੧॥
ਜਗ ਮੋਹਨੀ ਹਮ ਤਿਆਗਿ ਗਵਾਈ ॥
ਨਿਰਗੁਨੁ ਮਿਲਿਓ ਵਜੀ ਵਧਾਈ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
ਐਸੀ ਸੁੰਦਰਿ ਮਨ ਕਉ ਮੋਹੈ ॥
ਬਾਟਿ ਘਾਟਿ ਗ੍ਰਿਹਿ ਬਨਿ ਬਨਿ ਜੋਹੈ ॥
ਮਨਿ ਤਨਿ ਲਾਗੈ ਹੋਇ ਕੈ ਮੀਠੀ ॥
ਗੁਰ ਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ ਮੈ ਖੋਟੀ ਡੀਠੀ ॥੨॥
ਅਗਰਕ ਉਸ ਕੇ ਵਡੇ ਠਗਾਊ ॥
ਛੋਡਹਿ ਨਾਹੀ ਬਾਪ ਨ ਮਾਊ ॥
ਮੇਲੀ ਅਪਨੇ ਉਨਿ ਲੇ ਬਾਂਧੇ ॥
ਗੁਰ ਕਿਰਪਾ ਤੇ ਮੈ ਸਗਲੇ ਸਾਧੇ ॥੩॥
ਅਬ ਮੋਰੈ ਮਨਿ ਭਇਆ ਅਨੰਦ ॥
ਭਉ ਚੂਕਾ ਟੂਟੇ ਸਭਿ ਫੰਦ ॥
ਕਹੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਜਾ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਪਾਇਆ ॥
ਘਰੁ ਸਗਲਾ ਮੈ ਸੁਖੀ ਬਸਾਇਆ ॥੪॥੩੬॥੮੭॥

Phonetic English

Aasaa Mehalaa 5 ||
Einh Sio Preeth Karee Ghanaeree ||
Jo Mileeai Tho Vadhhai Vadhhaeree ||
Gal Chamarree Jo Shhoddai Naahee ||
Laag Shhutto Sathigur Kee Paaee ||1||
Jag Mohanee Ham Thiaag Gavaaee ||
Niragun Miliou Vajee Vadhhaaee ||1|| Rehaao ||
Aisee Sundhar Man Ko Mohai ||
Baatt Ghaatt Grihi Ban Ban Johai ||
Man Than Laagai Hoe Kai Meethee ||
Gur Prasaadh Mai Khottee Ddeethee ||2||
Agarak Ous Kae Vaddae Thagaaoo ||
Shhoddehi Naahee Baap N Maaoo ||
Maelee Apanae Oun Lae Baandhhae ||
Gur Kirapaa Thae Mai Sagalae Saadhhae ||3||
Ab Morai Man Bhaeiaa Anandh ||
Bho Chookaa Ttoottae Sabh Fandh ||
Kahu Naanak Jaa Sathigur Paaeiaa ||
Ghar Sagalaa Mai Sukhee Basaaeiaa ||4||36||87||

English Translation

Aasaa, Fifth Mehl:
The mortal is in love with this,
But the more he has, the more he longs for more.
It hangs around his neck, and does not leave him.
But falling at the feet of the True Guru, he is saved. ||1||
I have renounced and discarded Maya, the Enticer of the world.
I have met the Absolute Lord, and congratulations are pouring in. ||1||Pause||
She is so beautiful, she captivates the mind.
On the road, and the beach, at home, in the forest and in the wilderness, she touches us.
She seems so sweet to the mind and body.
But by Guru's Grace, I have seen her to be deceptive. ||2||
Her courtiers are also great deceivers.
They do not spare even their fathers or mothers.
They have enslaved their companions.
By Guru's Grace, I have subjugated them all. ||3||
Now, my mind is filled with bliss;
My fear is gone, and the noose is cut away.
Says Nanak, when I met the True Guru,
I came to dwell within my home in absolute peace. ||4||36||87||

Punjabi Viakhya

(ਹੇ ਭਾਈ!) ਜੇ ਇਸ (ਮਾਇਆ) ਨਾਲ ਬਹੁਤੀ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ਕਰੀਏ ਤਾਂ ਜਿਉਂ ਜਿਉਂ ਇਸ ਨਾਲ ਸਾਥ ਬਣਾਈਦਾ ਹੈ, ਤਿਉਂ ਤਿਉਂ ਇਸ ਨਾਲ ਮੋਹ ਵਧਦਾ ਜਾਂਦਾ ਹੈ। (ਆਖ਼ਰ) ਜਦੋਂ ਇਹ ਗਲ ਨਾਲ ਚੰਬੜੀ ਹੋਈ ਛੱਡਦੀ ਹੀ ਨਹੀਂ, ਤਦੋਂ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੂ ਦੀ ਚਰਨੀਂ ਲੱਗ ਕੇ ਹੀ ਇਸ ਤੋਂ ਖ਼ਲਾਸੀ ਪਾਈਦੀ ਹੈ ॥੧॥(ਹੇ ਭਾਈ! ਗੁਰੂ ਦੀ ਕਿਰਪਾ ਨਾਲ ਜਦੋਂ ਤੋਂ) ਮੈਨੂੰ ਮਾਇਆ ਦੇ ਤਿੰਨ ਗੁਣਾਂ ਦੇ ਪ੍ਰਭਾਵ ਤੋਂ ਉਤਾਂਹ ਰਹਿਣ ਵਾਲਾ ਪਰਮਾਤਮਾ ਮਿਲਿਆ ਹੈ ਮੇਰੇ ਅੰਦਰ ਉਤਸ਼ਾਹ-ਭਰੀ ਅਵਸਥਾ ਪ੍ਰਬਲ ਹੋ ਗਈ ਹੈ, ਤਦੋਂ ਤੋਂ ਹੀ ਮੈਂ ਸਾਰੇ ਜਗਤ ਨੂੰ ਮੋਹਣ ਵਾਲੀ ਮਾਇਆ (ਦੇ ਮੋਹ) ਨੂੰ ਤਿਆਗ ਕੇ ਪਰੇ ਸੁੱਟ ਦਿੱਤਾ ਹੈ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥(ਹੇ ਭਾਈ! ਇਹ ਮਾਇਆ) ਐਸੀ ਸੋਹਣੀ ਹੈ ਕਿ (ਮਨੁੱਖ ਦੇ) ਮਨ ਨੂੰ (ਤੁਰਤ) ਮੋਹ ਲੈਂਦੀ ਹੈ। ਰਸਤੇ ਵਿਚ (ਤੁਰਦਿਆਂ) ਪੱਤਣ ਉਤੇ (ਲੰਘਦਿਆਂ) ਘਰ ਵਿਚ (ਬੈਠਿਆਂ) ਜੰਗਲ ਜੰਗਲ ਵਿਚ (ਭੌਂਦਿਆਂ ਇਹ ਮਨ ਨੂੰ ਮੋਹਣ ਵਾਸਤੇ) ਤੱਕ ਲਾਈ ਰੱਖਦੀ ਹੈ। ਮਿੱਠੀ ਬਣ ਕੇ ਇਹ ਮਨ ਵਿਚ ਤਨ ਵਿਚ ਆ ਚੰਬੜਦੀ ਹੈ। ਪਰ ਮੈਂ ਗੁਰੂ ਦੀ ਕਿਰਪਾ ਨਾਲ ਵੇਖ ਲਿਆ ਹੈ ਕਿ ਇਹ ਬੜੀ ਖੋਟੀ ਹੈ ॥੨॥(ਹੇ ਭਾਈ! ਕਾਮਾਦਿਕ) ਉਸ ਮਾਇਆ ਦੇ ਮੁਸਾਹਬ (ਵੀ) ਵੱਡੇ ਠੱਗ ਹਨ, ਮਾਂ ਹੋਵੇ ਪਿਉ ਹੋਵੇ ਕਿਸੇ ਨੂੰ ਠੱਗਣੋਂ ਛੱਡਦੇ ਨਹੀਂ। ਜਿਨ੍ਹਾਂ ਜਿਨ੍ਹਾਂ ਨੇ ਇਹਨਾਂ ਨਾਲ ਮੇਲ-ਮੁਲਾਕਾਤ ਪਾਈ, ਉਹਨਾਂ ਨੂੰ ਇਹਨਾਂ ਮੁਸਾਹਬਾਂ ਨੇ ਚੰਗੀ ਤਰ੍ਹਾਂ ਬੰਨ੍ਹ ਲਿਆ, ਪਰ ਮੈਂ ਗੁਰੂ ਦੀ ਕਿਰਪਾ ਨਾਲ ਇਹਨਾਂ ਸਾਰਿਆਂ ਨੂੰ ਕਾਬੂ ਕਰ ਲਿਆ ਹੈ ॥੩॥ਹੇ ਨਾਨਕ! ਜਦੋਂ ਦਾ ਮੈਨੂੰ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੂ ਮਿਲ ਪਿਆ ਹੈ ਤਦੋਂ ਤੋਂ ਹੁਣ ਮੇਰੇ ਮਨ ਵਿਚ ਆਤਮਕ ਆਨੰਦ ਬਣਿਆ ਰਹਿੰਦਾ ਹੈ (ਮੇਰੇ ਅੰਦਰੋਂ ਇਹਨਾਂ ਕਾਮਾਦਿਕ ਮੁਸਾਹਬਾਂ ਦਾ) ਡਰ-ਭਉ ਲਹਿ ਗਿਆ ਹੈ ਇਹਨਾਂ ਦੇ ਪਾਏ ਹੋਏ ਸਾਰੇ ਫਾਹੇ ਟੁਟ ਗਏ ਹਨ। ਮੈਂ ਹੁਣ ਆਪਣਾ ਸਾਰਾ ਘਰ ਸੁਖੀ ਵਸਾ ਲਿਆ ਹੈ (ਮੇਰੇ ਸਾਰੇ ਗਿਆਨ-ਇੰਦ੍ਰਿਆਂ ਵਾਲਾ ਪਰਵਾਰ ਇਹਨਾਂ ਦੀ ਮਾਰ ਤੋਂ ਬਚ ਕੇ ਆਤਮਕ ਆਨੰਦ ਮਾਣ ਰਿਹਾ ਹੈ) ॥੪॥੩੬॥੮੭॥

 

Only you are able to understand this hukamnama because it is aimed at you. I used to be bullied about my looks too, not that I looked stupid or anything it was just because I had excess hair on my face and it used to really hurt me when people made fun of me and it made my self-confidence get really low. I kept my faith because I knew that Guru Gobind Singh Ji told me to keep my kesh so I did. What others said to me made no difference, as long as the Guru was pleased with me I didn't care. Nothing else mattered. I know what you are going through. I am a really sensitive person and when someone says something about me then I take it to heart. Its my mistake but I can't help it. I have been through it all and  couldn't even tell my mum because she would get my kesh cut and I really didn't want that to happen. Sorry that you had to hear my story, I just included it because I thought it would help you understand my perspective of things.

VJKK VJKF

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