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Guest Singhni

Husband Wife relation

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17 hours ago, Guest Singhni said:


Thank you everyone for taking time out to reply. I really do appreciate it. Our kids are VERY young yet oldest just starting to say a few words. So although ive started teaching the elder 2 Gurbani,  doing simran together etc there is only so much I can do yet because they are so young and lack understanding or focus (lol). Kirtan is played all day so I only hope it will have a positive effect on them. It is like you guys described it it almost feels havibg a physical relationship is deemed wrong and something that ruins your mere attempt and trying to be Gursikh. Im one of those people that have a habit of 'all or nothing' - i rather have no physical relation and be or try to focus 100% on sikhi. or find if i have to have physical relation then it lessens my quality as a Gursikh. How do u balance a loving relationship and try to make Guru ji/sikhi the centre point? Any thoughts id love to hear more from the penji who said she has kids and 'twice my age'?

I just feel im living 3 different lives - wife, mum and a pathetic excuse of a Gursikh. Even still I find im probably more attuned in sikhi when im with our kids because we jap Naam together, listen to Gurbani, more Sikhi related activities etc but with my husband - although hes great reads Gurbani, lacks strict Nitnem and Amritvela but does his best with raul duty and does a lot of sewa I just find he "starts it" - sorry to sound childish but like he will start the request for physical relation and if i say no he will say its not wrong in sikhi to have such relation...(please note there is no forcibg etc we love each other and theres no problem like that)  and then it goes on from that. its like i feel my jeevan in focusing on sikhi or Bani lessens when in the Sangat of my husband (sorry if i sound harsh) - i would never say this to him because i love him and i cant say no because i feel sorry for him like he works real hard all day and if he finds comfort in spending time with me and helps him chill surely thats my duty as a wife right? i just feel like am going round in circles. please also note my husband is great with our kids like he'll tie their dastars, read Bani while playing with them etc. he just has a high physical relation demand...and i feel my jeevan suffers even though i have some part to play....

thank u guys - helping me take a lot off my mind right now...

There isn't anything wrong with a physical relationship in marriage. As long as you love each other. Just make sure it's love that's the force involved. Expressing your love to your spouse isn't bad. It's going overboard that's where we get lost in lust. Just keep it loving and as an expression of your love and union. 

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