Popular boy just turned amritdhari can he still date?

[Guest Kaur123]

So this really popular good looking boy in my sixthform, has just turned amritdhari. Before, almost all the girls in sixthform and the year below fancied him, as his facial features (jaw line, eye colour)  etc were so good! (I’m shocked that someone like him has taken Amrit tbh)

All my friends and the other girls still think he is so good looking even with a dumalla on. That’s why I wanted to know. Can he still date girls. Before he was going out with loads of these popular pretty girls, even one of my friends who is a Muslim. 

He still talkes to girls and makes people laugh, but he’s just not really the same flirty guy, but all my girls still like him. I was wondering can he go out with girls who are sikh but are not amritdhari? I am not an amritdhari, but I know a lot about my faith. He sits next to me in a level chemistry class, and I just really like him.

I don’t want to offend him in any way, so I thought I would ask you, can he still date girls that are not amritdhari?

[sikhni777]

Idealy I think he might not be dating because it does not have much meaning for an amritdhari. An amritdhari takes amrit in order to become closer to Guru ji and the all divine Waheguru. Technically if he falls back in his old ways he might not be regarded as amritdhari.  

People are allowed to change.  Depending on the way he carries himself he might encourage both boys and girls to become amritdhari or he might turn the other way. 

Only time can tell. Sometimes we do underestimate people.  He might be a better Sikh than all the rest of us. Talking to the opposite gender does not necessarily mean that something evil is going on, as assumed.

It takes  strong willed and full of character person to make the decision he has taken. I mean it both before and after amrit. He could be simply be an outgoing person whose company people do enjoy. One of my nephews is similar to him.

[Guest Kaur 2]

VJKK VJKF

Technically, he is not allowed to date whether the girl is amritdhari or not because in Sikhi there is no such thing as dating. Maharaaj says that its much better to get into a relationship properly once. (Marriage). As for his facial features, Vaheguru made him so shouldn't you love Vaheguru? I am not anti-dating but I am just telling you from a gurbani point of view. The panj chor are coming into play and they will find a way to enter your body and thoughts. Having lustful thoughts about someone is hard to control because the panj chor are much stronger than us and Vaheguru made the panj chor as a test to see who can control them and who will have conquered them.

barahm gi-aanee kai aykai rang.

The God-conscious being loves the One Lord alone.

Because I am practising to take amrit (and even before that) I have never ever dated anyone because I know that its wrong. By dating you are not being true to your future spouse because you have previously been in a relationship and you have already done wrong things with each other within that fake relationship. If other people want to date then they can but as Sikhs of the Guru we have every right to know what our Guru said to us. Whatever our Guru said to us was purely for our best, the Guru never wanted us to be led astray. By dating we are also conforming to society and being "normal" in our friends and peers eyes. If we look in the mirror and we look like everyone else then there is a big problem because Guru Ji says:

ਜਬ ਲਗ ਖ਼ਾਲਸਾ ਰਹੇ ਨਿਆਰਾ ॥	jab lag Khalsa rehae niara	While the Khalsa stays unique and distinct,
ਤਬ ਲਗ ਤੇਜ ਕੀਉ ਮੈਂ ਸਾਰਾ ॥	thab lag thaej keeo main sara	I will offer my full support
ਜਬ ਇਹ ਗਹੈ ਬਿਪਰਨ ਕੀ ਰੀਤ ॥	jab eih gehai biparan kee reeth	When they follow the ways of others,
ਮੈਂ ਨ ਕਰੋਂ ਇਨ ਕੀ ਪ੝ਰਤੀਤ ॥	main n karon ein kee pratheeth	I will withdraw my assistance from them.

Its there in a bani called Khalsa Mahima. As I said before I am not against dating but I am just telling you what my Guru said. The Guru's opinion should be in almost every decision you make in life because you know that it will always be true because the Guru's were Nirankaar themselves:

Gur parmesar eko jaan||                                                                                                                                                                                      Know that Guru and Vaheguru are one.

Bhull Chuk Maaf.

VJKK VJKF

[Guest]

I think it depends how attached he is to the girl. Does this involve adultery or kissing? Then he is not a proper amritdhari.

If he just buys them a gift and nothing personal then I think it could be allowed since you treat all girls as you would treat your sister and everyone wants the best for their sister.

 

[Guest Guest Simple]

No amritdharis are not allowed to date at all. They must see all girls as their sisters. Only when they r ready to get married can an amritdhari meet up with girls and then only to see if they fit for marriage. And even then, some amritdharis will want the parents involved. In short, dating only allowed for marriage purposes.

I hope he knows this. If he starts dating girls, please dtop him and tell him not to shame the dumalla.

[Guest AnonSengh]