Marriage woes

[Guest Depressedsikh]

Wjjkk wjkf

 

I sometimes wonder if marriage, kids and everything we have been told is a lie.

 

I ended up getting an arranged marriage and it has been a disaster. I know everything is hukam. I had a very happy life and really encourage the Sangat, marry someone who has the same spiritual background as you.

 

To parents, don't pressure your children. 

[Guest Kaur 2]

VJKK VJKF

Sorry to ask but what is exactly the problem penji/veerji? You sound really upset. And also yes you are correct, everything is in maharaj's hukam. We just need to accept this hukam whether it is good or bad.

VJKK VJKF  

[Guest Mr Lynx]

Yes it can be difficult when it's arranged as both could have nothing in common. Makes one think how the elder generation made their marriages work...

Imo in the old days the ladies sacrificed a lot whereas these days the girls are much more vocal with stronger personalities & in most wear the pants as the guys are the weaker ones.

Give it time & see how it goes... it's a 2 way street u gotta be firm but fair.

[Guest Kaur]

On Thursday, October 26, 2017 at 3:04 PM, Guest Depressedsikh said:

Wjjkk wjkf

 

I sometimes wonder if marriage, kids and everything we have been told is a lie.

 

I ended up getting an arranged marriage and it has been a disaster. I know everything is hukam. I had a very happy life and really encourage the Sangat, marry someone who has the same spiritual background as you.

 

To parents, don't pressure your children. 

Can I just ask why did you have an arranged marriage if you were not happy with the man/woman. Nobody should waste a persons life away if they are unsure that its the right person. Everybody deserves the right and freedom to marry who they want. If this person was not right for you just say. I see you have called yourself Depressedsikh and I will just say that if you have just got married or engaged then you should not be feeling like this. If you're not married then i suggest you say something before the wedding and if you are already married then i think you need to speak to your partner. Chances are if your feeling like this then they may be sensing this and could feel the same. 

[simran345]

20 hours ago, Guest Kaur said:

Can I just ask why did you have an arranged marriage if you were not happy with the man/woman.

Well that’s quite obvious isn’t it? Because how was he/she suppose to know what the person is really like until after marriage if it’s an arranged marriage? People’s personalities and habits only come out when you spend more time with them. 

Its not always the case of knowing every little detail about them before marriage, sometimes people seem ok at first and then they change after marriage. 

20 hours ago, Guest Kaur said:

Nobody should waste a persons life away if they are unsure that its the right person. Everybody deserves the right and freedom to marry who they want. If this person was not right for you just say.

You don’t even know what the story is, so don’t assume the OP has wasted somebody’s life. Without knowing anything, you’re being a bit judgemental aren’t you? 

[singhbj singh]

On 26/10/2017 at 7:34 PM, Guest Depressedsikh said:

Wjjkk wjkf

 

I sometimes wonder if marriage, kids and everything we have been told is a lie.

 

I ended up getting an arranged marriage and it has been a disaster. I know everything is hukam. I had a very happy life and really encourage the Sangat, marry someone who has the same spiritual background as you.

 

To parents, don't pressure your children. 

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Bhai ji "grass is always green on the other side" 

Those who have Love marriage too face problems & depression.

It's all Karma !

ਦੁਖੁ ਤਦੇ ਜਾ ਵਿਸਰਿ ਜਾਵੈ ॥

Man suffers when he forgets God.

https://gurbaninow.com/shabad/284/3940

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

[Singh2017]

VJKK VJKF

It might seem hard but you'll be surprised how many love married couples have problems. Maharaj put you with this person for a reason - he doesn't make mistakes. It maybe that he's making you pay for past karma or it maybe that this person is helping you in ways you don't understand yet - e.g controlling some of your panj Chor through love. Stay strong and increase your nitnem and things will get better on your inside. Hopefully this helps Ji.

Vaheguru Ji.