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Whole Family Against Me Doing Bhagti - help

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Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

11 minutes ago, monatosingh said:

You do not need parental permission but it is your choice.

I wish I could go. There must be a time in my life when amrit is destined for me. :/ I really feel like crying because I want it so bad... I love you Vaheguru and everything happens with your hukam. My parents will not let me yet because I am 13 and they say its only time for education.

VJKK VJKF

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Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

 My mum keeps saying: "You're only 13, you don't know if your mind will change". And then I always reply back saying: "My mind will never change I will take amrit, now that I have held onto the charan of Vaheguru, I never want to let go". But I still don't think that she is convinced. Can someone please help because I really want it so badly.

VJKK VJKF

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5 hours ago, Singh2017 said:

VJKK VJKF 

 

Sangat Ji, Daas is asking for some help. I'm trying to increase my bani and naam (or even just doing the current bani and naam I am being blessed to do) but I can't do any simran or paath with my family having to say something about it. They are constantly telling me to stop and I feel like I have to wait for them to leave the house for do any simran or bani because they're always listening out for me and judging me and making fun of me. They kick up a fuss every time I was to go to the Gurudwara and I want to become Amritdhari soon and I can't hack them constantly not letting me to bhagti. I've done ardaas many times and I always hold faith and it seems like things get worse but that's not the problem because Maharaj doesn't make mistakes so I can accept that but I don't know what I can do. I can't use that as an excuse to not do any naam or bani. I've spoken to them and everything and they just don't care. It makes me want to leave the house and it's destroying my relationships with people at home. What can I do?

 

Vaheguru Ji 

Explain to your mom/family what sikhi is about. Show her videos from the "Basics Of Sikhi" YouTube channel. 

After she has a little understanding of sikhi, you can tell that you would like to follow the faith and live as a practicing Sikh.

Tell her about rehit and show her about your maryada that you wish to follow. After that, she will get a wider understanding of your new routines and can become use to it and support you.

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Guest Sijngh

They cant be your parents if they stop you from doing simran. If they are going to drown, dont let them drown you. However, we have to try to make peace at the same time. 

Whats gurduaras in your area

Some questions for u

How old are u

Are ure parents good sikhs in your opinion

Are they amritdhari

Do you have siblings older or younger
You have to keep going. Maybe not do simran aloud but in the mind and heart, where they cant stop you. Also I may suggest that, doing simran late at night when they go asleep undisturbed. Try getting amritwela down. If it is very serious, go to some trusted sikhs, maybe at a gurduara, take a hukamnama sahib an go from there. This is very brief response, more details can help.

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VJKK VJKF 

I've tried everything nothing seems to be clicking. Mum sent me a text at 3:14 this morning saying I can't sleep. I guess I'll just have to live with it and see what happens in the future. Maharaj Kirpa. 

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Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

Do not break your faith in Vaheguru, he will help you. And also you are doing very well because if you can jaap Vaheguru for well over half a day then you are doing very well. Explain to your mum that if you take amrit then your whole family will achieve mukti. I can understand you are going through a really tough stage. We can only help you to a certain extent. Leave the rest to Vaheguru.

VJKK VJKF

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2 hours ago, Singh2017 said:

VJKK VJKF 

I've tried everything nothing seems to be clicking. Mum sent me a text at 3:14 this morning saying I can't sleep. I guess I'll just have to live with it and see what happens in the future. Maharaj Kirpa. 

I think I know what’s going on. I maybe wrong but it’s just a thought, so please don’t take my word for it and forgive me if I’m wrong. 

If nobody has been doing paath in your house before or if Gurbani has not be present, then when it has been started, there are obstacles. This maybe because Gurbani is powerful and depending on different souls, they will react differently. I remember when I first started on this path, I couldn’t stand to hear it. Even if a family member was reciting it elsewhere, I used to not be able to relax. When I persisted, only then things started to calm down. 

Gurbani cleans the environment also, so it will take some time for them to get used to it. Carry on and don’t worry. There maybe obstacle in the way, that you feel like giving up also, but that’s part of the journey. Just relax and do it sehaje sehaje (at a comfortable pace). I think it’s because the household isn’t  used to it, and she maybe getting up as she’s consciously thinking about you waking up at that time. 

In a way, it’s a good thing for her as if she couldn’t sleep at that time , then she should also start doing paath or Simran. 

Edited by simran345
Spelling mistake
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2 hours ago, Singh2017 said:

VJKK VJKF 

I've tried everything nothing seems to be clicking. Mum sent me a text at 3:14 this morning saying I can't sleep. I guess I'll just have to live with it and see what happens in the future. Maharaj Kirpa. 

If it's because of you waking up and having a bath/shower early in the morning (ishnaan), then don't do it.

Instead of blasting the shower on and making loud noises, just wash your face, hands and feet with cold water quickly. After that, start your nitnem immediately. Walk in quietly to your room so your mom dont wake up.

👍

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4 minutes ago, NonExistant said:

If it's because of you waking up and having a bath/shower early in the morning (ishnaan), then don't do it.

Instead of blasting the shower on and making loud noises, just wash your face, hands and feet with cold water quickly. After that, start your nitnem immediately. Walk in quietly to your room so your mom dont wake up.

👍

Yep that will wake up others if they’re near the bathroom. Good idea.

Panj ishnan:

 

 

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4 minutes ago, NonExistant said:

If it's because of you waking up and having a bath/shower early in the morning (ishnaan), then don't do it.

Instead of blasting the shower on and making loud noises, just wash your face, hands and feet with cold water quickly. After that, start your nitnem immediately. Walk in quietly to your room so your mom dont wake up.

👍

The shower shouldn't really wake up anyone unless your parents are literally right next to it.

@Singh2017 What does she say when she finds you doing nitnem? I feel sorry for you knowing that there are people who face this. I pretty much faced the same when I wanted to take amrit.

What you could do is listen to paath and read it in your head. I used to get angry when doing nitnem because i didn't want to wake up lol but maharaj's kirpa made me feel better.

I still want to get back to sleep fast though.

WJKK WJKF

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1 minute ago, monatosingh said:

The shower shouldn't really wake up anyone unless your parents are literally right next to it.

It does as the noise from it will travel through the walls if the bedrooms are on the other side of the bathroom. 

I’m a light sleeper, and I can hear the shower, sink, toilet from downstairs. A lot of UK houses aren’t that big, and walls are thin, so the slightest noise will be heard especially if asleep, it will feel more louder. Unless you live in a Edwardian or Victorian type house, then it may not be so loud. 

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VJKK VJKF

Sangat Ji, thank you for everything I'm still trying to find ways but it seems to just get worse but there's nothing I can do apart from carry on. Seems like this bani really is real if it's having such a massive effect on my life and of those around me. Never going to stop - I don't care what happens. Thank you for helping me and standing by me sangat Ji. Maharaj Kirpa. I don't deserve your help guys but you've blessed me with your darshan through advice and may Maharaj continue to bless you forever more. 

Vaheguru Ji.

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On 23/10/2017 at 3:02 PM, Singh2017 said:

VJKK VJKF 

 

Sangat Ji, Daas is asking for some help. I'm trying to increase my bani and naam (or even just doing the current bani and naam I am being blessed to do) but I can't do any simran or paath with my family having to say something about it. They are constantly telling me to stop and I feel like I have to wait for them to leave the house for do any simran or bani because they're always listening out for me and judging me and making fun of me. They kick up a fuss every time I was to go to the Gurudwara and I want to become Amritdhari soon and I can't hack them constantly not letting me to bhagti. I've done ardaas many times and I always hold faith and it seems like things get worse but that's not the problem because Maharaj doesn't make mistakes so I can accept that but I don't know what I can do. I can't use that as an excuse to not do any naam or bani. I've spoken to them and everything and they just don't care. It makes me want to leave the house and it's destroying my relationships with people at home.

What can I do?

Vaheguru Ji 

Brother Singh2017,

Just hug them, and lovingly tell them, I am blessed by having you as parents and family members, but also, I have a duty towards our/my Heavenly Father Wahiguru Akal Purukh.

Tell them that, they/you, can be together for at most 60, 70 or 80 years at most, then what ?

Then, only He is our "palanhaar".

That is why you want to strentghten your relation with Him in this very janam, for you know not, how many countless lives you have been wandering in the different joonees away from Him, so now that He has blessed me with human life, let me do His bhakti as much as possible, without neglecting my duties the least at all.

Tell them, that you are very much thankful to them, for He has chosen them to give you birth as a human being, as a sikh, in this very life, which is not payable anyhow, nor in any way,  for now you can fulfill your bhakti fully, and merge in Him, by His apaar kirpa.

Stay blessed.

Sat sree Akal.

Edited by harsharan000
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On 10/24/2017 at 7:51 AM, simran345 said:

I think I know what’s going on. I maybe wrong but it’s just a thought, so please don’t take my word for it and forgive me if I’m wrong. 

If nobody has been doing paath in your house before or if Gurbani has not be present, then when it has been started, there are obstacles. This maybe because Gurbani is powerful and depending on different souls, they will react differently. I remember when I first started on this path, I couldn’t stand to hear it. Even if a family member was reciting it elsewhere, I used to not be able to relax. When I persisted, only then things started to calm down. 

Gurbani cleans the environment also, so it will take some time for them to get used to it. Carry on and don’t worry. There maybe obstacle in the way, that you feel like giving up also, but that’s part of the journey. Just relax and do it sehaje sehaje (at a comfortable pace). I think it’s because the household isn’t  used to it, and she maybe getting up as she’s consciously thinking about you waking up at that time. 

In a way, it’s a good thing for her as if she couldn’t sleep at that time , then she should also start doing paath or Simran. 

Excellent post!.....spot on!     

 

Gurbani tells us that the "bighan" (ਬਿਘਨ) always stand in the way of those who forget to chant his name.  It's just that we get blinded by these bighans and can't see them. If you're not doing bhagti, then you definitely have these obstacles but you don't recognize or notice them.  All the one's that are throwing the negatives at you, can't see their own bighans. They are too engrossed in the maya..       

@Singh2017I'm gonna tell you for real, in simple terms....When a sevak starts on a serious path, then these very bighans, start to reveal themselves in many forms. At this stage, you just have to overcome them steadily(sehajay) and calmly.   Don't let the negatives rub on and leave their imprints on you......don't absorb them or let them affect you....just try to step over them one by one,,.. ready for the next. You are using the kirpan inside your mind to win this battle and to keep slicing through.

I'm not going to advise or say anything of what you should say to your mother or family. Because if you keep your strong faith and pyaar in sachay patchah, then hukam will guide and dictate every single step and interaction for you. The best thing you can do is ardas for them in the hope that they start seeing the situation through their "Real inner" eyes and not the outwardly physical eyes.

It's important to keep faith, dedication and righteous discipline when treading this stage. After you pass this test of trying to battle through obstacles,  then the Lord shall be pleased and will embrace you even further.  Gurbani tells us ਕੋਟਿ ਬਿਘਨ ਹਿਰੇ ਖਿਨ ਮਾਹਿ  Kot bigẖan hire kẖin māhi. ,Millions of obstacles are removed in an instant, 

 

Keep the faith, stay strong and don't tell anyone if they are right or wrong. Focus on finding your jyot within and hearing the shabad that comes directly from Nirankar and will be heard within yourself.

 

Edited by luckysingh99
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VJKK VJKF

Sangat Ji, just an update it's getting worse than before now. At one point, my mum literally just sat in the car and was like "I'm done with life" and she just wouldn't move the car. I don't know what to do anymore - I can't even communicate with my family now because they try to stop me from this path and when they talk to me about it they can't speak to me about stopping me from sikhi because my family obviously isn't it to sikhi and myself Maharaj has blessed daas with this daath. Long story short, I'm going to see a Sant Ji (Maharaj kirpa) on Thursday and hopefully they can help me with something that will bring peace to this family. Does anyone have any tips on anything I can do now - I've literally exhausted all my options? Does Sant bachan ever fail - I've heard a few people haven't got what they asked for and it wasn't anything that would be deemed wrong as such? 

Vaheguru Ji.

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