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Black guy studying Sikhi wants to marry Sikh woman


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Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa!

Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Hi guys I was hoping you guys could help with some info and advice. It all started 3 years ago when was going through some tough times when I was introduced to meditation by my best friend now my fiancé. As meditating was helping me I grew curious about Sikhi and its teachings. She taught me as much as she could and I found my own path in Sikhi. I attend the Gurdwara regularly try to keep the 5 Ks minus the Kerpan as I have not taken Amrit as yet as I know there is still a lot for me to learn. I Also follow the teachings of the Guru Gran Sahib Ji. 

As we were really good friends it was different when we fell in love with each other. Call it old fashioned or not the correct way with the Asian culture but it happened. When she told her dad he refused to talk to her or myself and still does up to this day! As far as I am aware the teachings of Guru Nanak cleary talks about equality and diversity. I won't go into detail as you know the rest. However her dad is not just any Sikh is a freedom fight Sikh so he should know better. How do we address this as she misses her father very much and we really want him at the Anand Karaj. Also another issue the Gurdwara I've asked to do the ceremony has not refused but told us all the committee members have to be in agreement with it before we can get married. I asked them in July and it is now October and the still can't give me an answer apart from I need to attend their Gurdwara more regularly especially on Sundays which I have. I feel like I have an uphill battle with everything because if you were born a Sikh never really attend Gurdwara decide to get married as that person will have Singh or Kaur in their name it won't be a problem. I also will have Singh in my name. How do I approach her or how do we approach the situation? 

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa!

Waheguru Ji Ke Fateh!

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Take Singh as your name, like asap. IF you change your name to Singh then by the decrees of the Akaal Takhat you are a sikh (along with believing in amrit and the teachings of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji) , ignoring the whole "definition of a sikh"  shtick for a minute here I think you've come a long way based on what you said. 

I think there is deep rooted predjuices within the Sikh community against blacks in general, seeing a white sikh is rare for asians but a black sikh is like finding an iphone in the stone age. 

Take it slow firstly, show her dad how immersed in sikhi you are. Learn about the religion and then impress her father with it, become a Nitnemi Sikh man. 

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Guest Jacfsing2
3 hours ago, Guest Singh said:

However her dad is not just any Sikh is a freedom fight Sikh 

:waheguru:

3 hours ago, Guest Singh said:

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa!

Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Hi guys I was hoping you guys could help with some info and advice. It all started 3 years ago when was going through some tough times when I was introduced to meditation by my best friend now my fiancé. As meditating was helping me I grew curious about Sikhi and its teachings. She taught me as much as she could and I found my own path in Sikhi. I attend the Gurdwara regularly try to keep the 5 Ks minus the Kerpan as I have not taken Amrit as yet as I know there is still a lot for me to learn. I Also follow the teachings of the Guru Gran Sahib Ji. 

As we were really good friends it was different when we fell in love with each other. Call it old fashioned or not the correct way with the Asian culture but it happened. When she told her dad he refused to talk to her or myself and still does up to this day! As far as I am aware the teachings of Guru Nanak cleary talks about equality and diversity. I won't go into detail as you know the rest. However her dad is not just any Sikh is a freedom fight Sikh so he should know better. How do we address this as she misses her father very much and we really want him at the Anand Karaj. Also another issue the Gurdwara I've asked to do the ceremony has not refused but told us all the committee members have to be in agreement with it before we can get married. I asked them in July and it is now October and the still can't give me an answer apart from I need to attend their Gurdwara more regularly especially on Sundays which I have. I feel like I have an uphill battle with everything because if you were born a Sikh never really attend Gurdwara decide to get married as that person will have Singh or Kaur in their name it won't be a problem. I also will have Singh in my name. How do I approach her or how do we approach the situation? 

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa!

Waheguru Ji Ke Fateh!

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh! I don't think your being discriminated because your black, but rather because you haven't yet followed the Sikh faith. Basically you can't convince your through mere words alone, so you should became a Sikh first with the name Singh legally. You must also disprove whatever unconscious beliefs they have about black people and prove that you are just a human being trying to know Guru Sahib. Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

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Guest Jacfsing2
3 minutes ago, Kira said:

I think there is deep rooted predjuices within the Sikh community against blacks in general, seeing a white sikh is rare for asians but a black sikh is like finding an iphone in the stone age. 

I think most racism is towards Punjabi/Subcontinental Sikhs rather than the other way around. 3HO for example won't even talk to Punjabi Sikhs.

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2 hours ago, Guest Guest 'Singh' said:

I'd feel the same way if I had a daughter who wanted to abandon her identity and settle for less, i.e. a black thug. She sounds disgusting. Your kind can never be a Sikh in my eyes. Your kind either walk around with a chip on the shoulder or act like you own the streets. You also rob our temples at night too - there have been many cases in the uk/us.

You also clearly lack knowledge and respect for 5 K's. Wearing a Kirpan alone doesn't suddenly make you a Sikh and neither does the surname 'Singh', as some have incorrectly said, you fool.

Our community will always see you as an weird outsider trying to copy our identity. Do you not have your own culture?

You are a racist piece of <banned word filter activated>. 

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If I have to be honest with you I think you need to distaance yourself from this girl and still try to learn about sikhism. I think you need to find out if you really do care for her or if your just attached to her because she introduced you to this path. As for her family, seriously Good luck with that because if her family are strict then you can either tell her to kiss you goodbye or she can kiss her family goodbye. Theres no inbetween. Btw can i ask, you said she misses her father very much,  does this mean she isnt living at home? Is she living with you? 

In terms of the gurdwara, I would just say they have to be careful when going ahead with these things because just imagine the message they will be giving out if they agree to this.  I know there are some gurdwara that are 'open' and it can be considered but there are also strict gurdwara so it really depends where you asked? 

Despite the fact that I dont agree with this because for me it goes against everything my family have ever taught me. I think you should just make sure you care for her the way you say you do before you decide to mess her whole life up completely. 

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Guest Jacfsing2
2 hours ago, Sukhvirk1976 said:

LOL 

Prove that you are just a human being! 

Surely that is obvious by the fact he is a human being 

Most racist will not see you as a human, but less than a human. Fact of the matter is racism exists and the only way it will end is if people can see past stereotypes.

2 hours ago, Sukhvirk1976 said:

LOL douche 

Are you really denying that there are people racist towards Punjabis/Subcontinentals?

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