Jump to content
Guest lostsingh

kaam help

Recommended Posts

5 minutes ago, lostconfussedsingh said:

I am the original poster of the thread. It is me

I really see u struggling.. here and on Sikh awareness as well. Marriage is an option but I guess u don’t want to do that yet. simran is something that u should stick to. Trust me you’ll start seeing life from a totally different perceptive and will get to know the actual reality.. how about if u start gaining knowledge by reading books About the love.. love for god, about simran or same thing by watching videos. It’s something that needs to be controlled and only u have that power.. that power is within u it’s just ur not being able to get out of this trap of kaam vasna... and I know it’s not easy at all. And ardaas is something that u can do every minute.. it helps a lot. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Kaur72 said:

Marriage is an option but I guess u don’t want to do that yet.

It is not that its the fact that marriage nowdays has so many rules like everyones knows the politics involved before it like money job looks.

 

It makes a person feel like nothing when i have seen people in my family asking for rishta and i have got cousins who have had a girlfirends and boys before marriage.

 

And i just want to clear these blocks and then do simran bhagati freely without these thoughts. 

 

 

I know it is against gurmat but if you read my original post there way worse people than me who have led a gursikh jeevan afterwoods.

 

I feel like if i just let it out with a gori i will be free and i will have a fresh start mentally and be born again free from this desire and do bhagati free from these thoughts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, lostconfussedsingh said:
10 minutes ago, Kaur72 said:

 

It is not that its the fact that marriage nowdays has so many rules like everyones knows the politics involved before it like money job looks.

Agreed what ur saying.. other people as well who do so much bad things and thn return to sikhi.. do we want to do what others do, first make a mistake and thn return back to bhagti.  Others must’ve made mistakes without knowing it like (not everyone) but there are some people who makes mistakes and thn realise that oh I should’ve not done that. But u know everything but still want to make a mistake makes it a sin.. and what’s the guarantee that u will be free from it.. trust me u won’t be free the way u think you’ll end up even in a more worse situation.. I’ve been thru what ur going thru but my situation wasn’t that bad. I use to get it but just with my husband and not any random male.. now it’s totally  under control with the grace of waheguru and doing ardas  and asking for strength to fight against this doot does helps and just because I’m a lady it makes it sound awkward but it’s the reality that women also get these urges not only men.. and women always try not to talk about these things. Women are also human beings right.. I hope god will help u.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Believer
20 minutes ago, lostconfussedsingh said:

It is not that its the fact that marriage nowdays has so many rules like everyones knows the politics involved before it like money job looks.

 

It makes a person feel like nothing when i have seen people in my family asking for rishta and i have got cousins who have had a girlfirends and boys before marriage.

 

And i just want to clear these blocks and then do simran bhagati freely without these thoughts. 

 

 

I know it is against gurmat but if you read my original post there way worse people than me who have led a gursikh jeevan afterwoods.

 

I feel like if i just let it out with a gori i will be free and i will have a fresh start mentally and be born again free from this desire and do bhagati free from these thoughts.

Relax and re read what you have written. It seems as if you are aware that it's not a cool thing to do (let it out with gori). And this awareness is a blessing in itself. What you can do now is work on it. Ask yourself these questions before you decide what to do

 

1. Will it make me proud?

 

2. What If I regret later?

 

3. What advise would I give to a good friend if he was going through the same situation. 

 

Also, what others do and have done in their life is their journey, what matters is how you want to handle your situation. What works for you? 10 years later, when you are thinking back on this.. what will make you more proud? Letting it out with a gori or handling your situation in a more decent way? 

 

Sorry for any mistakes, hope this helps.. stay strong.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Marriage, escorts, online pornography, philandering "with a gori" is not going to improve anything. You're dealing with sexual addiction, and even if you were to marry, and by the way no one should marry just to satisfy their sexual needs, its not going to fix the addiction. In fact I've heard of many marriages get destroyed due to partners being sexually addicted. You need to get to the root of the problem, which is your mentality.

Your constantly thinking about sex because you aren't busy enough. Easy way to break away from all of this is to get busy, and I mean real busy. Burn yourself out each and every day, but do it with meaning and purpose. Define a purpose, apart from a religious one, in your life. What do you want to be in 10 years? Work towards that goal. I'm currently working towards becoming a physician, and day in and day out it's what keeps me going. I suggest you find a life goal, a major goal, and work towards it. Get off the Internet, its a great informative world, but its hell as well! Limit your Internet usage, or whatever outlet that you get your sexual material from, limit it and then cut it off completely. You mentioned you were visiting webcams at night, well maybe you need to tire yourself out so you aren't up at night browsing webcams. Go to the gym, work on your body, tire yourself out so that the only thing you're doing at night is sleeping.

I'll just end off by saying that you will fail the first few times because you're addicted. And any addiction can't be cut off immediately, it takes time. You're gonna have to gradually cut off the porn consumption, and trust me, when you do that, all those sexual thoughts that cloud your mind will clear out. Put your focus to somewhere productive. And as far as Sikhi and meditation goes, when you feel most vulnerable, read Gurbani. It'll not only distract you but inspire you to control your kaam.

Another thing where you said if you "let it out with a gori" is not going to fix any thing. Stop fetishizing white women, blonde women, women in general, and sexual pleasure isn't something that can be satiated, it has to be kept under check. So keep it under check!

Edited by TejS
  • Like 1
  • Thanks 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
25 minutes ago, Kaur72 said:

Agreed what ur saying.. other people as well who do so much bad things and thn return to sikhi.. do we want to do what others do, first make a mistake and thn return back to bhagti.  Others must’ve made mistakes without knowing it like (not everyone) but there are some people who makes mistakes and thn realise that oh I should’ve not done that. But u know everything but still want to make a mistake makes it a sin.. and what’s the guarantee that u will be free from it.. trust me u won’t be free the way u think you’ll end up even in a more worse situation.. I’ve been thru what ur going thru but my situation wasn’t that bad. I use to get it but just with my husband and not any random male.. now it’s totally  under control with the grace of waheguru and doing ardas  and asking for strength to fight against this doot does helps and just because I’m a lady it makes it sound awkward but it’s the reality that women also get these urges not only men.. and women always try not to talk about these things. Women are also human beings right.. I hope god will help u.

Sister can i send a pm 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Harry Singh

VGKVGF

I am 15 also, and going through similar kaam related issues. It is so difficult. It get's a lot harder when other Sikhs friends are doing bad things but think it's normal thing to to. We all need help. We are the future of the Paath...but if this is the condition now imagine what will be the outcome in near future!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, TejS said:

Your constantly thinking about sex because you aren't busy enough

Even when i am at work i used to like a gori who worked there nearby. And i do try to keep busy but its hard.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, Guest Believer said:

Relax and re read what you have written. It seems as if you are aware that it's not a cool thing to do (let it out with gori). And this awareness is a blessing in itself. What you can do now is work on it. Ask yourself these questions before you decide what to do

 

1. Will it make me proud?

 

2. What If I regret later?

 

3. What advise would I give to a good friend if he was going through the same situation. 

 

Also, what others do and have done in their life is their journey, what matters is how you want to handle your situation. What works for you? 10 years later, when you are thinking back on this.. what will make you more proud? Letting it out with a gori or handling your situation in a more decent way? 

 

Sorry for any mistakes, hope this helps.. stay strong.

 

Bro you are right.

 

1= it may or not make me proud cos all the girls i have seen have fake pics but thats a different issue. 

 

I will be happy cos i will be free of these thoughts if i have a session but who knows if it will be good as i am thinking.

 

2= will i regert yes. I will regert cos i have done the deed but also i will be free of the mental blocks in my thinking patterns. Then hopefully my concentration will be clearer after sex is done. As it feels like a stuck obstacle in my life now

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your content will need to be approved by a moderator

Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoticons maximum are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

×