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kaam help


Guest lostsingh
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Guest Lostsingh
On 21/10/2017 at 11:51 AM, harsharan000 said:

Guest lostsingh jee,

following are some soothing Sat Bachans on this topic, and its solution also by Guru Jee,  pay attention to them and free yourself from this chor, for in the Sat Bachans of Guru Sahiban, is the power of Wahiguru Akal Purukh Himself, the destroyer of this weakness, and as well as  all other negative tendencies of the mind :

 

ਹੇ ਕਾਮੰ ਨਰਕ ਬਿਸ੍ਰਾਮੰ ਬਹੁ ਜੋਨੀ ਭ੍ਰਮਾਵਣਹ ॥

Hae Kaaman Narak Bisraaman Bahu Jonee Bhramaavaneh ||

O sexual desire, you lead the mortals to hell; you make them wander in reincarnation through countless species.

 

ਚਿਤ ਹਰਣੰ ਤ੍ਰੈ ਲੋਕ ਗੰਮ੍ਯ੍ਯੰ ਜਪ ਤਪ ਸੀਲ ਬਿਦਾਰਣਹ

Chith Haranan Thrai Lok Ganmyan Jap Thap Seel Bidhaaraneh ||

You cheat the consciousness, and pervade the three worlds. You destroy meditation, penance and virtue.

 

ਅਲਪ ਸੁਖ ਅਵਿਤ ਚੰਚਲ ਊਚ ਨੀਚ ਸਮਾਵਣਹ ॥

Alap Sukh Avith Chanchal Ooch Neech Samaavaneh ||

But you give only shallow pleasure, while you make the mortals weak and unsteady; you pervade the high and the low.

 

ਤਵ ਭੈ ਬਿਮੁੰਚਿਤ ਸਾਧ ਸੰਗਮ ਓਟ ਨਾਨਕ ਨਾਰਾਇਣਹ ॥੪੬॥

Thav Bhai Bimunchith Saadhh Sangam Outt Naanak Naaraaeineh ||46||

Your fear is dispelled in the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy, O Nanak, through the Protection and Support of the Lord. ||46||

 

Sat Sree Akal.

 

You are right i will look into it. Also i don't have a good relationship with my disfunctional family. I also get angry quite quickly as well. It is like i am meant to be felt like i have no voice. Or that my views are not valued. I give a example i have a few people i really don't get along with at all believe me via family. 

 

Everytime i see one of them or vists at home. I expected to behave in a very friendly way even though after he or she has left my parents make big talks oh he said this she said that. 

 

And if i don't talk in their way i get curcifed as soon as the person has left. 

 

For these reasons i get angry and my mum is the worest one it is like she makes herself a victim in all of this. She makes my life hell over these people saying oh you don't know when we might need somebody. I believe in Waheguru alone.

 

These circle of abuse from home has made me view girls as escorts. Like when going for aranged marriage a boy is asked his wages job education etc. This nasty views by families have created this idea or thought about escorts. 

I have been through a horrible childhood at school and watched abuse at home. 

 

Everytime i would make a mistake as all kids would do. I would be given hell. Mum always says "if you are wrong i will not take your side." "I don't want to make you a theif criminal"

 

This has made me feel horrible as i have seen kids and family members who despite being wrong, their mum and dad don't say nothing. 

 

This has created more hate inside me and towards people i don't get along with. And nowdays it is soo much tension at home and i stay away from they in my room whenever my parents are at home. And i swear and say nasty stuff when i am provoked 

 

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Guest Lostsingh

Oh Waheguru i screwed up again tonight. I got tempted to look at webcams and one thing led to another as my fav girl was online today. 

 

I made the mistake of looking at a escort page and in madness ended up sending her a text for a meet up. But luckly i got no reply as it is late night message and i will block her number just in case.

 

The temptation urges were very very strong she was a blonde just the type i fantise about. 

 

As i shoot my load i couldn't go with it. 

 

Oh i feel so dirty now and ashamed of it. 

 

And i don't have the strength and i can't let my sikh idenity be destroyed by this.

 

These are thoughts are right now that are troubling but only Waheguru can save me

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VJKK VJKF

Start doing your nitnem early/earlier in the morning. Also just try to keep off the internet for a bit now, give your mind a rest a bit. Keep doing paath and do Sukhmani Sahib as this will help to keep your panj chor within a bit more control rather than them running around doing whatever they wish. Take a cyber hukamnama and Guru Ji will lead you the right way. Try to set a filter on your laptop/PC whatever you use to not show any "adult" content. When you see any girl on the street that may set off your kaam (lust) then simply pay no attention to her, look away. Go to the gurdwara and do seva. Carry on doing chaur sahib di seva. Try to not do things or look a things that will set off your kaam in the first place. Try to build that relationship with your mother and father again. They still love you, and you know what? My mum says the exact same thing to me too: If you do something wrong I will not take your side, I don't want you to be a thief etc. And you know what? That's a good thing as I'm not sure you want to be thief.

VJKK VJKF

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  • 1 month later...
5 minutes ago, lostconfussedsingh said:

I am the original poster of the thread. It is me

I really see u struggling.. here and on Sikh awareness as well. Marriage is an option but I guess u don’t want to do that yet. simran is something that u should stick to. Trust me you’ll start seeing life from a totally different perceptive and will get to know the actual reality.. how about if u start gaining knowledge by reading books About the love.. love for god, about simran or same thing by watching videos. It’s something that needs to be controlled and only u have that power.. that power is within u it’s just ur not being able to get out of this trap of kaam vasna... and I know it’s not easy at all. And ardaas is something that u can do every minute.. it helps a lot. 

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1 minute ago, lostconfussedsingh said:
10 minutes ago, Kaur72 said:

 

It is not that its the fact that marriage nowdays has so many rules like everyones knows the politics involved before it like money job looks.

Agreed what ur saying.. other people as well who do so much bad things and thn return to sikhi.. do we want to do what others do, first make a mistake and thn return back to bhagti.  Others must’ve made mistakes without knowing it like (not everyone) but there are some people who makes mistakes and thn realise that oh I should’ve not done that. But u know everything but still want to make a mistake makes it a sin.. and what’s the guarantee that u will be free from it.. trust me u won’t be free the way u think you’ll end up even in a more worse situation.. I’ve been thru what ur going thru but my situation wasn’t that bad. I use to get it but just with my husband and not any random male.. now it’s totally  under control with the grace of waheguru and doing ardas  and asking for strength to fight against this doot does helps and just because I’m a lady it makes it sound awkward but it’s the reality that women also get these urges not only men.. and women always try not to talk about these things. Women are also human beings right.. I hope god will help u.

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Guest Believer
20 minutes ago, lostconfussedsingh said:

It is not that its the fact that marriage nowdays has so many rules like everyones knows the politics involved before it like money job looks.

 

It makes a person feel like nothing when i have seen people in my family asking for rishta and i have got cousins who have had a girlfirends and boys before marriage.

 

And i just want to clear these blocks and then do simran bhagati freely without these thoughts. 

 

 

I know it is against gurmat but if you read my original post there way worse people than me who have led a gursikh jeevan afterwoods.

 

I feel like if i just let it out with a gori i will be free and i will have a fresh start mentally and be born again free from this desire and do bhagati free from these thoughts.

Relax and re read what you have written. It seems as if you are aware that it's not a cool thing to do (let it out with gori). And this awareness is a blessing in itself. What you can do now is work on it. Ask yourself these questions before you decide what to do

 

1. Will it make me proud?

 

2. What If I regret later?

 

3. What advise would I give to a good friend if he was going through the same situation. 

 

Also, what others do and have done in their life is their journey, what matters is how you want to handle your situation. What works for you? 10 years later, when you are thinking back on this.. what will make you more proud? Letting it out with a gori or handling your situation in a more decent way? 

 

Sorry for any mistakes, hope this helps.. stay strong.

 

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Guest Harry Singh

VGKVGF

I am 15 also, and going through similar kaam related issues. It is so difficult. It get's a lot harder when other Sikhs friends are doing bad things but think it's normal thing to to. We all need help. We are the future of the Paath...but if this is the condition now imagine what will be the outcome in near future!!

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