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kaam help


Guest lostsingh
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Guest lostsingh

Wjkk Wjkf I am in my late 20s struggling with kaam a lot. I do a bit of paath as well and want to take amrit but waiting for things like career to be sorted first. Especially as i am writting this as today i missed my nitnem i feel weaker than before. I have struggling with it since i have been 15 and its getting to the point where i have spent money on webcams,chatlines (my fav girl has been offline for a while) and watching porn. I am now having strong urges to vist a escort as i am still a virgin.

I spent and waste time looking online for one and pics. I am ashmed as i act a gursikh infront everyone but i have this hidden part of me. I know this is wrong but i just want to flush out of my system as i have many health problems like        sinus,migraines,headaces etc. I get very turned on seeing any blonde female and that makes it worse for me my kaam thoughts .

Everytime i shoot off or do something like that you know i feel really really bad that i go the gurdwara asap that i take a packet of sugar and £1.25 do chaur sahib over maharaj than i fall in the same narak again and again.

 

I mean i would like to get married to a gursikh and take amrit but this unfufilled desire is something i need help with.

Please help me anyone reading this as i am really ashmed to talk or even metion this to anyone !!!! 

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4 hours ago, Guest lostsingh said:

Wjkk Wjkf I am in my late 20s struggling with kaam a lot. I do a bit of paath as well and want to take amrit but waiting for things like career to be sorted first. Especially as i am writting this as today i missed my nitnem i feel weaker than before. I have struggling with it since i have been 15 and its getting to the point where i have spent money on webcams,chatlines (my fav girl has been offline for a while) and watching porn. I am now having strong urges to vist a escort as i am still a virgin.

I spent and waste time looking online for one and pics. I am ashmed as i act a gursikh infront everyone but i have this hidden part of me. I know this is wrong but i just want to flush out of my system as i have many health problems like        sinus,migraines,headaces etc. I get very turned on seeing any blonde female and that makes it worse for me my kaam thoughts .

Everytime i shoot off or do something like that you know i feel really really bad that i go the gurdwara asap that i take a packet of sugar and £1.25 do chaur sahib over maharaj than i fall in the same narak again and again.

 

I mean i would like to get married to a gursikh and take amrit but this unfufilled desire is something i need help with.

Please help me anyone reading this as i am really ashmed to talk or even metion this to anyone !!!! 

You are not the only one, just think there are thousands of people who have got the same issue as you.

As for missing nitnem do you mean you missed amritvela? I am not good at it either but just keep trying to make it consistent like putting your alarm 5 minutes higher each time you miss it until you find the right time and then go lower again.

For your kaam, in gurbani it is mentioned that by jaaping the lords name the 5 evils of the mind go away. (Such as Lust, Anger, Greed, Ego and Strong desire)

Now it is proven that trying to make a stop to it makes it worse. Remember, once you chant his name continuously there will never be time for anything else.

Hopefully my tips help you somehow.

Once you put a stop to this veer ji, amrit will just be around the corner and once you take it the negative energy will leave you behind.

From SGGS:
"When you are confronted with terrible hardships,

and no one offers you support,

when your friends turn into enemies,

and even your relatives have deserted you,

When all support has given way

and all hope has been lost -

if you then come to remember the Supreme Lord God,

even the hot wind shall not touch you. ||1||"

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

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Guest Jacfsing2
4 hours ago, Guest lostsingh said:

Wjkk Wjkf I am in my late 20s struggling with kaam a lot. I do a bit of paath as well and want to take amrit but waiting for things like career to be sorted first. Especially as i am writting this as today i missed my nitnem i feel weaker than before. I have struggling with it since i have been 15 and its getting to the point where i have spent money on webcams,chatlines (my fav girl has been offline for a while) and watching porn. I am now having strong urges to vist a escort as i am still a virgin.

I spent and waste time looking online for one and pics. I am ashmed as i act a gursikh infront everyone but i have this hidden part of me. I know this is wrong but i just want to flush out of my system as i have many health problems like        sinus,migraines,headaces etc. I get very turned on seeing any blonde female and that makes it worse for me my kaam thoughts .

Everytime i shoot off or do something like that you know i feel really really bad that i go the gurdwara asap that i take a packet of sugar and £1.25 do chaur sahib over maharaj than i fall in the same narak again and again.

 

I mean i would like to get married to a gursikh and take amrit but this unfufilled desire is something i need help with.

Please help me anyone reading this as i am really ashmed to talk or even metion this to anyone !!!! 

You don't win, (in fact you should give-up trying to stop Kaam,)only Guru Sahib gives you victory, your goal and battle is to serve Guru Sahib the best you can. The more you try to stop any of the 5 evils, (as in any of them), the higher the odds are that those 5 evils will be stronger. Fact of the matter is, they are much stronger than you, and this is something many don't want to admit, because we want to believe that we have a chance. 

Also with your blonde fetish, you must understand that they are not an superior to anyone else, there are less attractive people and more attractive people in all groups.

Remember you can not beat the 5 evils, and the only way you'll save yourself is by following the Hukam of Guru Sahib, so do that to the best of your ability!

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Guest lostsingh
14 hours ago, monatosingh said:

You are not the only one, just think there are thousands of people who have got the same issue as you.

As for missing nitnem do you mean you missed amritvela? I am not good at it either but just keep trying to make it consistent like putting your alarm 5 minutes higher each time you miss it until you find the right time and then go lower again.

For your kaam, in gurbani it is mentioned that by jaaping the lords name the 5 evils of the mind go away. (Such as Lust, Anger, Greed, Ego and Strong desire)

Now it is proven that trying to make a stop to it makes it worse. Remember, once you chant his name continuously there will never be time for anything else.

Hopefully my tips help you somehow.

Once you put a stop to this veer ji, amrit will just be around the corner and once you take it the negative energy will leave you behind.

From SGGS:
"When you are confronted with terrible hardships,

and no one offers you support,

when your friends turn into enemies,

and even your relatives have deserted you,

When all support has given way

and all hope has been lost -

if you then come to remember the Supreme Lord God,

even the hot wind shall not touch you. ||1||"

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Bro i don't do nitnem at amritvela i normally juat do it at daytime whenever i feel like it. It is so embrassing these desires i am ashamed of myself. I have been fantasing about it since i was 15 just to experince sex for real. I have always found myself debating should i do it or not. Touch forward the closest thing i have to got to was asking a girl out for a drink which i got rejected and it felt horrible. Also i find myself always flirting and it seems the only way out just to pay a escort.

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Don't pay an escort its disgusting and humiliating. It also tells us how you view women. If you pay for her 'services' , what are you really saying about your attitude towards women?  Do you have these desires just for blonde girls or do you have any other hair  colour preferences? Society has stereotyped blonde females but i think things have improved and they are not considered the stereotypical airheads with plastic parts anymore. But from your desires for any blonde female it sounds like you still believe they are.   

And your desire to lose your virginity and how you feel its an unfulfilled desire just shows your immaturity.  You said you want to get married so just wait. And im sorry but if you do visit an escort then you have no right to marry a religious girl who will be a virgin and will be expecting to marry a virgin like herself.

Desire comes and goes but regret can last a lifetime. 

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Guest guest lostsingh
22 hours ago, Guest Kaur said:

Don't pay an escort its disgusting and humiliating. It also tells us how you view women. If you pay for her 'services' , what are you really saying about your attitude towards women?  Do you have these desires just for blonde girls or do you have any other hair  colour preferences? Society has stereotyped blonde females but i think things have improved and they are not considered the stereotypical airheads with plastic parts anymore. But from your desires for any blonde female it sounds like you still believe they are.   

And your desire to lose your virginity and how you feel its an unfulfilled desire just shows your immaturity.  You said you want to get married so just wait. And im sorry but if you do visit an escort then you have no right to marry a religious girl who will be a virgin and will be expecting to marry a virgin like herself.

Desire comes and goes but regret can last a lifetime. 

Bhenji first of all thanks for reading the post and everyone who has so far. I have just fancied blondes but just anyone but usually the good looking ones. But i have liked non blondes as well like j saw a dastar wearing girl who was very good looking and if i had chance to marry her i would jump at it. 

 

But with Waheguru's kirpa i have not so far been and able to have the strength to vist a escort as it just a thought. Not that strong like being hungry or thirsty strong level. 

 

I am a religoius person but it is just these thoughts have distrubed me from time to time and don't want the thoughts to destroy me. I don't drink drink,smoke no meat and keep full kesh and beard

 

It is like i am holding a bottle of sharaab but can't bring myself to drink it. 

 

I also have been put off by the idea as i know it is like a bad habbit like drugs,smoking,alchool,gambling etc if i pay a escort for it.

 

You are right deisres come and go but i don't want these to destroy my last 13.5 years good record and bhagati

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7 hours ago, Guest guest lostsingh said:

But i have liked non blondes as well like j saw a dastar wearing girl who was very good looking and if i had chance to marry her i would jump at it. 

You cant marry someone based on their appearance. 

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