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kaam help

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Guest lostsingh

Wjkk Wjkf I am in my late 20s struggling with kaam a lot. I do a bit of paath as well and want to take amrit but waiting for things like career to be sorted first. Especially as i am writting this as today i missed my nitnem i feel weaker than before. I have struggling with it since i have been 15 and its getting to the point where i have spent money on webcams,chatlines (my fav girl has been offline for a while) and watching porn. I am now having strong urges to vist a escort as i am still a virgin.

I spent and waste time looking online for one and pics. I am ashmed as i act a gursikh infront everyone but i have this hidden part of me. I know this is wrong but i just want to flush out of my system as i have many health problems like        sinus,migraines,headaces etc. I get very turned on seeing any blonde female and that makes it worse for me my kaam thoughts .

Everytime i shoot off or do something like that you know i feel really really bad that i go the gurdwara asap that i take a packet of sugar and £1.25 do chaur sahib over maharaj than i fall in the same narak again and again.

 

I mean i would like to get married to a gursikh and take amrit but this unfufilled desire is something i need help with.

Please help me anyone reading this as i am really ashmed to talk or even metion this to anyone !!!! 

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4 hours ago, Guest lostsingh said:

Wjkk Wjkf I am in my late 20s struggling with kaam a lot. I do a bit of paath as well and want to take amrit but waiting for things like career to be sorted first. Especially as i am writting this as today i missed my nitnem i feel weaker than before. I have struggling with it since i have been 15 and its getting to the point where i have spent money on webcams,chatlines (my fav girl has been offline for a while) and watching porn. I am now having strong urges to vist a escort as i am still a virgin.

I spent and waste time looking online for one and pics. I am ashmed as i act a gursikh infront everyone but i have this hidden part of me. I know this is wrong but i just want to flush out of my system as i have many health problems like        sinus,migraines,headaces etc. I get very turned on seeing any blonde female and that makes it worse for me my kaam thoughts .

Everytime i shoot off or do something like that you know i feel really really bad that i go the gurdwara asap that i take a packet of sugar and £1.25 do chaur sahib over maharaj than i fall in the same narak again and again.

 

I mean i would like to get married to a gursikh and take amrit but this unfufilled desire is something i need help with.

Please help me anyone reading this as i am really ashmed to talk or even metion this to anyone !!!! 

You are not the only one, just think there are thousands of people who have got the same issue as you.

As for missing nitnem do you mean you missed amritvela? I am not good at it either but just keep trying to make it consistent like putting your alarm 5 minutes higher each time you miss it until you find the right time and then go lower again.

For your kaam, in gurbani it is mentioned that by jaaping the lords name the 5 evils of the mind go away. (Such as Lust, Anger, Greed, Ego and Strong desire)

Now it is proven that trying to make a stop to it makes it worse. Remember, once you chant his name continuously there will never be time for anything else.

Hopefully my tips help you somehow.

Once you put a stop to this veer ji, amrit will just be around the corner and once you take it the negative energy will leave you behind.

From SGGS:
"When you are confronted with terrible hardships,

and no one offers you support,

when your friends turn into enemies,

and even your relatives have deserted you,

When all support has given way

and all hope has been lost -

if you then come to remember the Supreme Lord God,

even the hot wind shall not touch you. ||1||"

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

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Guest Jacfsing2
4 hours ago, Guest lostsingh said:

Wjkk Wjkf I am in my late 20s struggling with kaam a lot. I do a bit of paath as well and want to take amrit but waiting for things like career to be sorted first. Especially as i am writting this as today i missed my nitnem i feel weaker than before. I have struggling with it since i have been 15 and its getting to the point where i have spent money on webcams,chatlines (my fav girl has been offline for a while) and watching porn. I am now having strong urges to vist a escort as i am still a virgin.

I spent and waste time looking online for one and pics. I am ashmed as i act a gursikh infront everyone but i have this hidden part of me. I know this is wrong but i just want to flush out of my system as i have many health problems like        sinus,migraines,headaces etc. I get very turned on seeing any blonde female and that makes it worse for me my kaam thoughts .

Everytime i shoot off or do something like that you know i feel really really bad that i go the gurdwara asap that i take a packet of sugar and £1.25 do chaur sahib over maharaj than i fall in the same narak again and again.

 

I mean i would like to get married to a gursikh and take amrit but this unfufilled desire is something i need help with.

Please help me anyone reading this as i am really ashmed to talk or even metion this to anyone !!!! 

You don't win, (in fact you should give-up trying to stop Kaam,)only Guru Sahib gives you victory, your goal and battle is to serve Guru Sahib the best you can. The more you try to stop any of the 5 evils, (as in any of them), the higher the odds are that those 5 evils will be stronger. Fact of the matter is, they are much stronger than you, and this is something many don't want to admit, because we want to believe that we have a chance. 

Also with your blonde fetish, you must understand that they are not an superior to anyone else, there are less attractive people and more attractive people in all groups.

Remember you can not beat the 5 evils, and the only way you'll save yourself is by following the Hukam of Guru Sahib, so do that to the best of your ability!

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Guest lostsingh
14 hours ago, monatosingh said:

You are not the only one, just think there are thousands of people who have got the same issue as you.

As for missing nitnem do you mean you missed amritvela? I am not good at it either but just keep trying to make it consistent like putting your alarm 5 minutes higher each time you miss it until you find the right time and then go lower again.

For your kaam, in gurbani it is mentioned that by jaaping the lords name the 5 evils of the mind go away. (Such as Lust, Anger, Greed, Ego and Strong desire)

Now it is proven that trying to make a stop to it makes it worse. Remember, once you chant his name continuously there will never be time for anything else.

Hopefully my tips help you somehow.

Once you put a stop to this veer ji, amrit will just be around the corner and once you take it the negative energy will leave you behind.

From SGGS:
"When you are confronted with terrible hardships,

and no one offers you support,

when your friends turn into enemies,

and even your relatives have deserted you,

When all support has given way

and all hope has been lost -

if you then come to remember the Supreme Lord God,

even the hot wind shall not touch you. ||1||"

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Bro i don't do nitnem at amritvela i normally juat do it at daytime whenever i feel like it. It is so embrassing these desires i am ashamed of myself. I have been fantasing about it since i was 15 just to experince sex for real. I have always found myself debating should i do it or not. Touch forward the closest thing i have to got to was asking a girl out for a drink which i got rejected and it felt horrible. Also i find myself always flirting and it seems the only way out just to pay a escort.

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There are a lot of videos.on youtube talkig about how.to.quit porn and benefits of quitting and nofap movement. Google it and get motivated to stop and then make.the choice to stop. Then do ardaas to guruji to help u stop. 

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Guest Kaur

Don't pay an escort its disgusting and humiliating. It also tells us how you view women. If you pay for her 'services' , what are you really saying about your attitude towards women?  Do you have these desires just for blonde girls or do you have any other hair  colour preferences? Society has stereotyped blonde females but i think things have improved and they are not considered the stereotypical airheads with plastic parts anymore. But from your desires for any blonde female it sounds like you still believe they are.   

And your desire to lose your virginity and how you feel its an unfulfilled desire just shows your immaturity.  You said you want to get married so just wait. And im sorry but if you do visit an escort then you have no right to marry a religious girl who will be a virgin and will be expecting to marry a virgin like herself.

Desire comes and goes but regret can last a lifetime. 

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Guest guest lostsingh
22 hours ago, Guest Kaur said:

Don't pay an escort its disgusting and humiliating. It also tells us how you view women. If you pay for her 'services' , what are you really saying about your attitude towards women?  Do you have these desires just for blonde girls or do you have any other hair  colour preferences? Society has stereotyped blonde females but i think things have improved and they are not considered the stereotypical airheads with plastic parts anymore. But from your desires for any blonde female it sounds like you still believe they are.   

And your desire to lose your virginity and how you feel its an unfulfilled desire just shows your immaturity.  You said you want to get married so just wait. And im sorry but if you do visit an escort then you have no right to marry a religious girl who will be a virgin and will be expecting to marry a virgin like herself.

Desire comes and goes but regret can last a lifetime. 

Bhenji first of all thanks for reading the post and everyone who has so far. I have just fancied blondes but just anyone but usually the good looking ones. But i have liked non blondes as well like j saw a dastar wearing girl who was very good looking and if i had chance to marry her i would jump at it. 

 

But with Waheguru's kirpa i have not so far been and able to have the strength to vist a escort as it just a thought. Not that strong like being hungry or thirsty strong level. 

 

I am a religoius person but it is just these thoughts have distrubed me from time to time and don't want the thoughts to destroy me. I don't drink drink,smoke no meat and keep full kesh and beard

 

It is like i am holding a bottle of sharaab but can't bring myself to drink it. 

 

I also have been put off by the idea as i know it is like a bad habbit like drugs,smoking,alchool,gambling etc if i pay a escort for it.

 

You are right deisres come and go but i don't want these to destroy my last 13.5 years good record and bhagati

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Guest Kaur
7 hours ago, Guest guest lostsingh said:

But i have liked non blondes as well like j saw a dastar wearing girl who was very good looking and if i had chance to marry her i would jump at it. 

You cant marry someone based on their appearance. 

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On 13/10/2017 at 4:47 AM, Guest lostsingh said:

Wjkk Wjkf I am in my late 20s struggling with kaam a lot. I do a bit of paath as well and want to take amrit but waiting for things like career to be sorted first. Especially as i am writting this as today i missed my nitnem i feel weaker than before. I have struggling with it since i have been 15 and its getting to the point where i have spent money on webcams,chatlines (my fav girl has been offline for a while) and watching porn. I am now having strong urges to vist a escort as i am still a virgin.

I spent and waste time looking online for one and pics. I am ashmed as i act a gursikh infront everyone but i have this hidden part of me. I know this is wrong but i just want to flush out of my system as i have many health problems like        sinus,migraines,headaces etc. I get very turned on seeing any blonde female and that makes it worse for me my kaam thoughts .

Everytime i shoot off or do something like that you know i feel really really bad that i go the gurdwara asap that i take a packet of sugar and £1.25 do chaur sahib over maharaj than i fall in the same narak again and again.

 

I mean i would like to get married to a gursikh and take amrit but this unfufilled desire is something i need help with.

Please help me anyone reading this as i am really ashmed to talk or even metion this to anyone !!!! 

Guest lostsingh jee,

following are some soothing Sat Bachans on this topic, and its solution also by Guru Jee,  pay attention to them and free yourself from this chor, for in the Sat Bachans of Guru Sahiban, is the power of Wahiguru Akal Purukh Himself, the destroyer of this weakness, and as well as  all other negative tendencies of the mind :

 

ਹੇ ਕਾਮੰ ਨਰਕ ਬਿਸ੍ਰਾਮੰ ਬਹੁ ਜੋਨੀ ਭ੍ਰਮਾਵਣਹ ॥

Hae Kaaman Narak Bisraaman Bahu Jonee Bhramaavaneh ||

O sexual desire, you lead the mortals to hell; you make them wander in reincarnation through countless species.

 

ਚਿਤ ਹਰਣੰ ਤ੍ਰੈ ਲੋਕ ਗੰਮ੍ਯ੍ਯੰ ਜਪ ਤਪ ਸੀਲ ਬਿਦਾਰਣਹ

Chith Haranan Thrai Lok Ganmyan Jap Thap Seel Bidhaaraneh ||

You cheat the consciousness, and pervade the three worlds. You destroy meditation, penance and virtue.

 

ਅਲਪ ਸੁਖ ਅਵਿਤ ਚੰਚਲ ਊਚ ਨੀਚ ਸਮਾਵਣਹ ॥

Alap Sukh Avith Chanchal Ooch Neech Samaavaneh ||

But you give only shallow pleasure, while you make the mortals weak and unsteady; you pervade the high and the low.

 

ਤਵ ਭੈ ਬਿਮੁੰਚਿਤ ਸਾਧ ਸੰਗਮ ਓਟ ਨਾਨਕ ਨਾਰਾਇਣਹ ॥੪੬॥

Thav Bhai Bimunchith Saadhh Sangam Outt Naanak Naaraaeineh ||46||

Your fear is dispelled in the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy, O Nanak, through the Protection and Support of the Lord. ||46||

 

Sat Sree Akal.

 

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Guest Lostsingh
On 21/10/2017 at 11:51 AM, harsharan000 said:

Guest lostsingh jee,

following are some soothing Sat Bachans on this topic, and its solution also by Guru Jee,  pay attention to them and free yourself from this chor, for in the Sat Bachans of Guru Sahiban, is the power of Wahiguru Akal Purukh Himself, the destroyer of this weakness, and as well as  all other negative tendencies of the mind :

 

ਹੇ ਕਾਮੰ ਨਰਕ ਬਿਸ੍ਰਾਮੰ ਬਹੁ ਜੋਨੀ ਭ੍ਰਮਾਵਣਹ ॥

Hae Kaaman Narak Bisraaman Bahu Jonee Bhramaavaneh ||

O sexual desire, you lead the mortals to hell; you make them wander in reincarnation through countless species.

 

ਚਿਤ ਹਰਣੰ ਤ੍ਰੈ ਲੋਕ ਗੰਮ੍ਯ੍ਯੰ ਜਪ ਤਪ ਸੀਲ ਬਿਦਾਰਣਹ

Chith Haranan Thrai Lok Ganmyan Jap Thap Seel Bidhaaraneh ||

You cheat the consciousness, and pervade the three worlds. You destroy meditation, penance and virtue.

 

ਅਲਪ ਸੁਖ ਅਵਿਤ ਚੰਚਲ ਊਚ ਨੀਚ ਸਮਾਵਣਹ ॥

Alap Sukh Avith Chanchal Ooch Neech Samaavaneh ||

But you give only shallow pleasure, while you make the mortals weak and unsteady; you pervade the high and the low.

 

ਤਵ ਭੈ ਬਿਮੁੰਚਿਤ ਸਾਧ ਸੰਗਮ ਓਟ ਨਾਨਕ ਨਾਰਾਇਣਹ ॥੪੬॥

Thav Bhai Bimunchith Saadhh Sangam Outt Naanak Naaraaeineh ||46||

Your fear is dispelled in the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy, O Nanak, through the Protection and Support of the Lord. ||46||

 

Sat Sree Akal.

 

You are right i will look into it. Also i don't have a good relationship with my disfunctional family. I also get angry quite quickly as well. It is like i am meant to be felt like i have no voice. Or that my views are not valued. I give a example i have a few people i really don't get along with at all believe me via family. 

 

Everytime i see one of them or vists at home. I expected to behave in a very friendly way even though after he or she has left my parents make big talks oh he said this she said that. 

 

And if i don't talk in their way i get curcifed as soon as the person has left. 

 

For these reasons i get angry and my mum is the worest one it is like she makes herself a victim in all of this. She makes my life hell over these people saying oh you don't know when we might need somebody. I believe in Waheguru alone.

 

These circle of abuse from home has made me view girls as escorts. Like when going for aranged marriage a boy is asked his wages job education etc. This nasty views by families have created this idea or thought about escorts. 

I have been through a horrible childhood at school and watched abuse at home. 

 

Everytime i would make a mistake as all kids would do. I would be given hell. Mum always says "if you are wrong i will not take your side." "I don't want to make you a theif criminal"

 

This has made me feel horrible as i have seen kids and family members who despite being wrong, their mum and dad don't say nothing. 

 

This has created more hate inside me and towards people i don't get along with. And nowdays it is soo much tension at home and i stay away from they in my room whenever my parents are at home. And i swear and say nasty stuff when i am provoked 

 

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Guest Lostsingh

Oh Waheguru i screwed up again tonight. I got tempted to look at webcams and one thing led to another as my fav girl was online today. 

 

I made the mistake of looking at a escort page and in madness ended up sending her a text for a meet up. But luckly i got no reply as it is late night message and i will block her number just in case.

 

The temptation urges were very very strong she was a blonde just the type i fantise about. 

 

As i shoot my load i couldn't go with it. 

 

Oh i feel so dirty now and ashamed of it. 

 

And i don't have the strength and i can't let my sikh idenity be destroyed by this.

 

These are thoughts are right now that are troubling but only Waheguru can save me

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Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

Start doing your nitnem early/earlier in the morning. Also just try to keep off the internet for a bit now, give your mind a rest a bit. Keep doing paath and do Sukhmani Sahib as this will help to keep your panj chor within a bit more control rather than them running around doing whatever they wish. Take a cyber hukamnama and Guru Ji will lead you the right way. Try to set a filter on your laptop/PC whatever you use to not show any "adult" content. When you see any girl on the street that may set off your kaam (lust) then simply pay no attention to her, look away. Go to the gurdwara and do seva. Carry on doing chaur sahib di seva. Try to not do things or look a things that will set off your kaam in the first place. Try to build that relationship with your mother and father again. They still love you, and you know what? My mum says the exact same thing to me too: If you do something wrong I will not take your side, I don't want you to be a thief etc. And you know what? That's a good thing as I'm not sure you want to be thief.

VJKK VJKF

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