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‘In one house, seven girls. We thought god would balance with a son’

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How many 'Shots' are Sikhs allowed to get a baby boy ?

http://indianexpress.com/article/india/in-one-house-seven-girls-we-thought-god-would-balance-with-a-son-4869038/

Have seen lot many educated Sikhs having 2,3,4 daughters & still craving for a son.

Is this Gurmat or Manmat ?

Edited by singhbj singh

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He was just being a human being. Destroying copies of babajis paath is manmat.

 

However his feelings I understand. This life is a joke sometimes, sometimes it is very cruel.

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It says in the article he spent his entire income on drinking,  so he was hardly contributing to the family and not being responsible for his children either. 

People should be grateful for having daughters, as there are couples who can’t have children and never have that chance of happiness, regardless of them being boys or girls. 

What is it with our community, any problem and the men turn to drink as an excuse, whilst the women are expected to deal with it. I can’t say I understand, as there’s families out there who after having girls don’t turn to drink. They learn to cope with it, and adjust to what they receive, be grateful and accept God’s will. Girls should never be considered a bauj (burden). 

Edited by simran345
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5 hours ago, LifeIsBeautiful said:

He was just being a human being. Destroying copies of babajis paath is manmat.

 

However his feelings I understand. This life is a joke sometimes, sometimes it is very cruel.

I didn't mean the guy in news but society in general. Where do Sikh's draw a line n say "enough is enough". No more trying for a boy, girls are fine.

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2 hours ago, simran345 said:

It says in the article he spent his entire income on drinking,  so he was hardly contributing to the family and not being responsible for his children either. 

People should be grateful for having daughters, as there are couples who can’t have children and never have that chance of happiness, regardless of them being boys or girls. 

What is it with our community, any problem and the men turn to drink as an excuse, whilst the women are expected to deal with it. I can’t say I understand, as there’s families out there who after having girls don’t turn to drink. They learn to cope with it, and adjust to what they receive, be grateful and accept God’s will. Girls should never be considered a bauj (burden). 

Sikh & Punjabi society is too blame for such incidents. Girls from poor families must be given free education, health insurance & social security till they become an adult.

If parents are incapable or unwilling to raise a girl child, she should be given to a childless couple for adoption.

Govt & Religious Organisations have failed that's why people are looking upto to Baba's for support n guidance.

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2 hours ago, simran345 said:

It says in the article he spent his entire income on drinking,  so he was hardly contributing to the family and not being responsible for his children either. 

People should be grateful for having daughters, as there are couples who can’t have children and never have that chance of happiness, regardless of them being boys or girls. 

What is it with our community, any problem and the men turn to drink as an excuse, whilst the women are expected to deal with it. I can’t say I understand, as there’s families out there who after having girls don’t turn to drink. They learn to cope with it, and adjust to what they receive, be grateful and accept God’s will. Girls should never be considered a bauj (burden). 

7 daughters means 7 weddings and 7 sets of dowry.

Told "koi nahi" everytime his wife gives birth.

The pressure of relatives and villagers constantly on his case about not having a boy.

Being constantly ribbed about not having a son.

Being a man, you are expected to suck it up. There is no support network like women do with each other, the only thing you can do is turn to drink.

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59 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

7 daughters means 7 weddings and 7 sets of dowry.

Told "koi nahi" everytime his wife gives birth.

The pressure of relatives and villagers constantly on his case about not having a boy.

Being constantly ribbed about not having a son.

Being a man, you are expected to suck it up. There is no support network like women do with each other, the only thing you can do is turn to drink.

err don't know where you get that idea , most women are the first to be anti-women and give a girl a hard time ...

gursikhs don't give or ask for dowries, don't shell out for party sharty with dancers and sharab, and accept bhana

honestly if a singh is strong in his rehit  and bani , he will empower the daughters immensely as he will recognise her value

Edited by jkvlondon
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girls ar no more burden these days and pendu women’s ar more advance because they have smarter 💡 

Edited by Kaur501
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12 hours ago, singhbj singh said:

How many 'Shots' are Sikhs allowed to get a baby boy ?

http://indianexpress.com/article/india/in-one-house-seven-girls-we-thought-god-would-balance-with-a-son-4869038/

Have seen lot many educated Sikhs having 2,3,4 daughters & still craving for a son.

Is this Gurmat or Manmat ?

Honestly manmaat, but in all reality it's our fault we've brainwashed a generation into thinking do paath, and get what you need. All this because 'Babay' have been doing Arths of shabads like this: "jo mangay takhur apnay te, soee soee devay" as whatever you ask god for, do a certain # of japji sahibs and you'll get it. We're the better translation would have been those who ask for god onto themselves, as in ask for the gift of sikhi, they revive their requests. Had he been given better gian and taught santokh he could see the anand in this. We also have punjabi culture  to blame for this: daaj, wedding culture, the fact that males are seen as more superior, and the thought that girls won't be there for them.

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12 hours ago, singhbj singh said:

How many 'Shots' are Sikhs allowed to get a baby boy ?

http://indianexpress.com/article/india/in-one-house-seven-girls-we-thought-god-would-balance-with-a-son-4869038/

Have seen lot many educated Sikhs having 2,3,4 daughters & still craving for a son.

Is this Gurmat or Manmat ?

By "this" do you mean destroying a gutka after yet another girl was born? Yeah, that's manmat, but not just manmat, it's a vicious attack on the body of Satguru. This fool is bound for hell.

On the other hand if you're asking whether a Sikh wanting a son is manmat, no, it's not. 

Was Guru Hargobind ji a manmukh for saying that "puttar" is "nishan" to the wandering sadhu?

Of course, if it is not written in God's will for you to have a son, you should not pout or be angry with God. You should accept God's will as sweet.

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4 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

err don't know where you get that idea , most women are the first to be anti-women and give a girl a hard time ...

gursikhs don't give or ask for dowries, don't shell out for party sharty with dancers and sharab, and accept bhana

honestly if a singh is strong in his rehit  and bani , he will empower the daughters immensely as he will recognise her value

Most women in this case will get the hard time in this instance from specific women such as their mother-in-laws or husband's sisters.

However,  they will still go back to their pekheh and talk to their mothers.  They even get a sympathetic ear from certain quarters of their husband's family or even talk to their friends.

Women in the end of the day will talk about their problems, men will not.

I was talking from the man's point of view but of course it is frowned upon because it is not from a feminine-correct  (but it depends what side of the marriage line one belongs on) point of view which is the only point of view that is allowed.

To think that somehow Gursikh families don't ask for many things is a load of baloney. In theory they shouldn't but many do.

Many Singh's like most men do value their daughters. 

Funny how most women think fathers don't value their daughters but think their own fathers are the best things since sliced bread.

 

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7 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

Women in the end of the day will talk about their problems, men will not.

This is what men need to do also. There needs to be parchar at the Gurdwara on how to deal with these things. And when the men get together, rather than talking about what is expected as norm in society, change it to what to do if so and so happens. There should be a counsellor type man and woman in each pind. The panchayat don’t really do much. 

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7 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

Most women in this case will get the hard time in this instance from specific women such as their mother-in-laws or husband's sisters.

However,  they will still go back to their pekheh and talk to their mothers.  They even get a sympathetic ear from certain quarters of their husband's family or even talk to their friends.

Women in the end of the day will talk about their problems, men will not.

I was talking from the man's point of view but of course it is frowned upon because it is not from a feminine-correct  (but it depends what side of the marriage line one belongs on) point of view which is the only point of view that is allowed.

To think that somehow Gursikh families don't ask for many things is a load of baloney. In theory they shouldn't but many do.

Many Singh's like most men do value their daughters. 

Funny how most women think fathers don't value their daughters but think their own fathers are the best things since sliced bread.

 

honestly there are many things girls are expected to do - shoulder such hardships and protect their parents from the gory details to avoid making them suffer - very common in domestic abuse cases parents are unaware of how bad it is until the girl is hospitalised or dead. I personally saw a MIL dropping her DIL in the maternity ward when I was having the twins  with the following words 'jeh kudi hoee sanu phone nah karree' 

My Dad used to give me massively hard time and be harsh ... my Mum confronted him as to why ..his logic 'pata nahin kehije family naal viah karoge , main ehnu toughen up kar reha hu taanke eh cope kar sakke ' 

Mum explained that it is important to give me good memories and self-confidence as it goes a long way to  balance out . I knew my Dad loved me beyond ...but he was never given a method to show his softer side . The younger gen are a bit better in doing this and I've seen a lot of superproud Dads with their daughters but I get the feeling that if that girl fails in some way the father's ego will get a direct blow. My folks were unusual as they wanted me to be a girl (firstborn) and my mum was cussed out by the punjaban they were renting a room from because of it. 

 

Edited by jkvlondon
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Guest Jacfsing2

Without reading much into it, a rational person should reach a conclusion with this line alone:

"an angry Charanjeet rushed into a room and burnt the two religious books his wife used to pray to for a son throughout her pregnancy."

Gurbani is no different whether in a gutka or Guru Sahib himself:waheguru:, on whether it's manmat or not to damage it.

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