What my muslim friend was told by other muslims when she wanted to marry her Sikh boyfriend

[superkaur]

so recently a pakistani mirpuri muslim friend of mine told me she wanted to marry her Sikh boyfriend (whose a mona/sehajdhari) whom she been dating since college days for 5years. I told her she would have to embrace Sikhi if she wanted to marry him in an anand karaj sikh ceremony. She said she is not that religious but would be willing to look into it or might have to do a non-religious court marriage. Then I asked her what did her muslim friends and family thought about the idea of her marrying a non-muslim guy.

She said they didnt take it well and were not happy about it and are putting emotional blackmail pressure on her. Her older sister who is a pretty fundamentalist muslim told her to pressure her boyfriend to convert to islam as according to her the bloodline is carried by the male  so marrying a non-muslim is not halal so her marriage it would be zina in islam (punishable by stoning to death in sharia law) and all the family would not turn up to the wedding nor would it be accepted by allah as you have been influenced by shaitan (satan/devil) and in the next world you will be punished in eternal hellfire as this world is nothing but a test and the next world is the real world so do not marry a non-muslim.

This is the talk and advice muslim girls are given to ensure they do not go out with non-muslim guys or not be with them long term. Meanwhile if non-muslim girls wanted to marry a muslim guy they are welcomed with open arms by muslims and groomed to ensure they do convert.

I was never taught not to marry non-sikh guys nor given any religious consequences or advice why I shouldn't by family or friends but its clear to me having chatted to many muslim girls that they are taught from early age against being with non-muslim guys. I had to do my own research looking into sikh scriptures and use my intelligence to know why Sikh girls should only marry other Sikhs to ensure the future survival of our faith and why we should welcome muslim girls and other non-sikh girls to embrace Sikhi.
 

[Premi5]

The 'Sikh' is not a Sikh in  this case, in my opinion. Marrying into such a different background will never end well

[Balkaar]

Something I've noticed,

whenever a Sikh woman marries a non-Sikh man her children are practically never raised as Sikhs and she herself converts to her husband's religion (or lack thereof).

But whenever a Sikh man marries a non-Sikh woman, the kids are almost always raised in Sikhi even when the woman herself does not convert. I have seen a few Punjabi guys (usually the recent immigrants) attend my local Gurdwara with their Polish/Baltic wives, who do not appear to be Sikh but who have kids with patkas. 

I wonder what the reason is for this dynamic. 

 

[Guest]

40 minutes ago, Balkaar said:

Something I've noticed,

whenever a Sikh woman marries a non-Sikh man her children are practically never raised as Sikhs and she herself converts to her husband's religion (or lack thereof).

But whenever a Sikh man marries a non-Sikh woman, the kids are almost always raised in Sikhi even when the woman herself does not convert. I have seen a few Punjabi guys (usually the recent immigrants) attend my local Gurdwara with their Polish/Baltic wives, who do not appear to be Sikh but who have kids with patkas. 

I wonder what the reason is for this dynamic. 

 

You seriously had to wonder bruh ?? 

Most societies around the world are still patriarchal. Its a male dominated world.

The very word "pati" means "lord". No wonder then that kids take fathers name as their middle name and a wife takes her husbands name as middle name.

What you're noticing is just an extension of patriarchy. The religion of man becomes the religion of the house and many a times of the wife too. 

However I have also seen sikh guys married to hindu women tended to produce kache sikhs . That is their sons keep hair and turban but trim their beard and go to hindu shrines, so it becomes like a mix sabzi and harm is of sikhs in this as hindu is a polytheistic religion and can accommodate one more deity

[Balkaar]

5 minutes ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

However I have also seen sikh guys married to hindu women tended to produce kache sikhs . That is their sons keep hair and turban but trim their beard and go to hindu shrines, so it becomes like a mix sabzi and harm is of sikhs in this as hindu is a polytheistic religion and can accommodate one more deity

They sound more like cucks than patriarchs to me man

[Guest]

24 minutes ago, Balkaar said:

They sound more like cucks than patriarchs to me man

Patriarchy is not necessarily about affiliation to a particular religion. A man can switch religions and still retain his patriarchal power, although this time in a different community. 

Patriarchy simply means male dominance. These men likely have hindu wives too. So the communities are inter-woven. I know one such guy . He keeps kes and dastar , but trims his beard, although advised me once to take amrit. His mother is a shiv bhakt or so I heard, and he once posted a pic of khadawan of his guru (I wondered which one out of the 10, but he likely had some other guru TOO) . 

He goes to gurudware and mandir too. Thats how it goes with mixed marriages lol 

[Ranjeet01]

1 hour ago, Balkaar said:

Something I've noticed,

whenever a Sikh woman marries a non-Sikh man her children are practically never raised as Sikhs and she herself converts to her husband's religion (or lack thereof).

But whenever a Sikh man marries a non-Sikh woman, the kids are almost always raised in Sikhi even when the woman herself does not convert. I have seen a few Punjabi guys (usually the recent immigrants) attend my local Gurdwara with their Polish/Baltic wives, who do not appear to be Sikh but who have kids with patkas. 

I wonder what the reason is for this dynamic. 

 

Polish/Baltic societies are fairly traditional. Not like west Europeans. 

 

[superkaur]

2 hours ago, Balkaar said:

Something I've noticed,

whenever a Sikh woman marries a non-Sikh man her children are practically never raised as Sikhs and she herself converts to her husband's religion (or lack thereof).

But whenever a Sikh man marries a non-Sikh woman, the kids are almost always raised in Sikhi even when the woman herself does not convert. I have seen a few Punjabi guys (usually the recent immigrants) attend my local Gurdwara with their Polish/Baltic wives, who do not appear to be Sikh but who have kids with patkas. 

I wonder what the reason is for this dynamic. 

 

Very true. The immigrant Sikh punjabi men when they marry to non-sikh women these women adopt Sikhi and kids are given Sikh names and brought up as such. But the so called Sikh punjabi girls who marry non-sikh men they dont even see it as a problem they actually think in Sikhi everything goes I knew some girls years ago that actually believed Sikhi doesn't have any religious restrictions against such things.

So clearly its the limited knowledge or lack of knowledge of Sikhi that some of these women have been brought up that has allowed them to think this way. Punjabi girls with mixed belief systems in their parental and family structure are most vulnerable to this kinda thinking and easy to be lead stray. Also parents give more attention to their sons ensuring they marry the same background of girl rather than their daughters. Daughters are seen as someone who will leave the house anyways so they wont carry on the family surname anyways so they arent given as much attention sadly. Mothers especially insist their sons only marry indian hindu sikh girls but dont insist the same for their daughters. This is the mindset we need to change urgently to ensure daughters especially only marry sikh men.

[superkaur]

1 hour ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

Patriarchy is not necessarily about affiliation to a particular religion. A man can switch religions and still retain his patriarchal power, although this time in a different community. 

Patriarchy simply means male dominance. These men likely have hindu wives too. So the communities are inter-woven. I know one such guy . He keeps kes and dastar , but trims his beard, although advised me once to take amrit. His mother is a shiv bhakt or so I heard, and he once posted a pic of khadawan of his guru (I wondered which one out of the 10, but he likely had some other guru TOO) . 

He goes to gurudware and mandir too. Thats how it goes with mixed marriages lol 

Mixed faith marriages are toxic as feminism both are nasty.

[StarStriker]

4 hours ago, superkaur said:

so recently a pakistani mirpuri muslim friend of mine told me she wanted to marry her Sikh boyfriend (whose a mona/sehajdhari) whom she been dating since college days for 5years. I told her she would have to embrace Sikhi if she wanted to marry him in an anand karaj sikh ceremony. She said she is not that religious but would be willing to look into it or might have to do a non-religious court marriage. Then I asked her what did her muslim friends and family thought about the idea of her marrying a non-muslim guy.

She said they didnt take it well and were not happy about it and are putting emotional blackmail pressure on her. Her older sister who is a pretty fundamentalist muslim told her to pressure her boyfriend to convert to islam as according to her the bloodline is carried by the male  so marrying a non-muslim is not halal so her marriage it would be zina in islam (punishable by stoning to death in sharia law) and all the family would not turn up to the wedding nor would it be accepted by allah as you have been influenced by shaitan (satan/devil) and in the next world you will be punished in eternal hellfire as this world is nothing but a test and the next world is the real world so do not marry a non-muslim.

This is the talk and advice muslim girls are given to ensure they do not go out with non-muslim guys or not be with them long term. Meanwhile if non-muslim girls wanted to marry a muslim guy they are welcomed with open arms by muslims and groomed to ensure they do convert.

I was never taught not to marry non-sikh guys nor given any religious consequences or advice why I shouldn't by family or friends but its clear to me having chatted to many muslim girls that they are taught from early age against being with non-muslim guys. I had to do my own research looking into sikh scriptures and use my intelligence to know why Sikh girls should only marry other Sikhs to ensure the future survival of our faith and why we should welcome muslim girls and other non-sikh girls to embrace Sikhi.
 

i would tell u to tell the kurri to marry the guy, and tell her of the equality of sikhi which is given to women. Tell her how women can, read SGGS, do kirtan, cook/serve langar, go to gurdwara gyms, do simran and actually attend prayer services within a gurdwara, same as men do. This will be a huge shock to her! When non-sikhs find out about the beauty of sikhi and its practices (especially langar n men/women equality), they tend not to believe it initially. She isnt the only pak muslim women marrying out, a lot of them are nowadays n in thecoming future. My thaiya ji recently was tellin me, of how he met a swedish priest in r home town, who told him how Panjabi/urdu speaking Christian/jehovahs witness missionaries have been coverting pak muslims in recent times in quite big numbers, but for obv backlash reasons, these paks wont reveal so.