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Guest Anonymous

I m going through hard situation. I love a guy and he loves me too unconditionally. I want to marry him . Unfortunately my parents are not accepting just because he does not have the "status" my family has. Though he earns well and has a pure soul. More important thing is we have great understanding. With him, I feel more close to that Almighty. I know we will be happy together. I don't know how to convince my parents. I really have faith in waheguru. I m praying continously and reciting gurbani . I m kind to everyone. Sometimes I really feel negative about whole situation . I want him in my life and want my parents to be happy for us. What to do?

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Guest Fight for him

If he is a nice genuine guy and your love for him is strong and true then you should fight to keep that bond. Being from different caste is not even an argument as in Sikhi there is no caste system. 

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I would say trust your parents and take their advice. Sometimes in life love can blind us, it can make everything seem rose tinted. Whilst, I can understand that he may have a pure soul if his "status" is different to yours it can create problems in the future. Consider why and what factors dont allow him to have the same "status" as your family.

Tbh If your parents dont agree then I would say leave it alone. The last thing you want is for you to be with this person, your parents turning their back on you and then you having nobody. Marriage is more than two people loving and committing to each other. Its a unity between two families. Dont forget that. 

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Guest Positive
On 24/08/2017 at 2:57 PM, Guest Anonymous said:

I m going through hard situation. I love a guy and he loves me too unconditionally. I want to marry him . Unfortunately my parents are not accepting just because he does not have the "status" my family has. Though he earns well and has a pure soul. More important thing is we have great understanding. With him, I feel more close to that Almighty. I know we will be happy together. I don't know how to convince my parents. I really have faith in waheguru. I m praying continously and reciting gurbani . I m kind to everyone. Sometimes I really feel negative about whole situation . I want him in my life and want my parents to be happy for us. What to do?

Do what u want..we come alone and go alone.

Your parents reasons are not honourable- what do u think the Guru's would have said? Forget rubbish brown culture and be free, no-one owns u and you owe no-one who does not respect your freedom and right to be happy and other human beings anything. Its foolish thinking theyre above others due to 'status'.

Your parents sound like egotistical fools. 

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On 24/08/2017 at 0:57 PM, Guest Anonymous said:

I m going through hard situation. I love a guy and he loves me too unconditionally. I want to marry him . Unfortunately my parents are not accepting just because he does not have the "status" my family has. Though he earns well and has a pure soul. More important thing is we have great understanding. With him, I feel more close to that Almighty. I know we will be happy together. I don't know how to convince my parents. I really have faith in waheguru. I m praying continously and reciting gurbani . I m kind to everyone. Sometimes I really feel negative about whole situation . I want him in my life and want my parents to be happy for us. What to do?

Why are your parents objecting to him? Does he have a job? Or will he be financially dependent upon you or your family? If he’s standing on his own feet and works and does not rely on others, and also has good qualities and personality, than they should consider him for marriage to you. 

Talk to your parents, ask them what their reasons are and maybe you could work around it, and compromise if he’s a decent guy. 

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some questions:

1. Is he asking to go for marriage DESPITE your folks , if he is i would be very wary as he is disrespecting your roots and this will leave you isolated from them and hurt the people who loved you the most? 

2. If you are pushing for marriage DESPITE your folks , are you so unconfident that the relationship can weather tough times that you are not willing to wait and show your certainty?

3. You say you feel close to Guru ji , does he share this feeling is he aiming towards a gursikh life ?

4. If you both are confident in the relationship and are both dedicated to Guru ji are you both willing to have amrit to illustrate this to both sets of parents?

5. Has he mentioned his intentions to his folks and asked them to approach yours?

6. What is so special about your folks status ? Is this a caste nonsense thing or a money thing?

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Guest Jacfsing2
On 10/11/2017 at 7:15 PM, Guest Positive said:

Your parents reasons are not honourable-

I genuinely think that the parents care, nobody willingly would give their daughter up to someone who won't provide financially, (there are exceptions in that the guy can be a little less high income than the parents; however, they still expect their child to be clothed and fed by their husband).

On 10/11/2017 at 7:15 PM, Guest Positive said:

what do u think the Guru's would have said?

Guru Sahib would've said don't have attachments, Bhai Gurdas Vaaran say directly that the love of humans is nothing compared to Guru Sahib.

On 10/11/2017 at 7:15 PM, Guest Positive said:

Forget rubbish brown culture and be free, no-one owns u and you owe no-one who does not respect your freedom and right to be happy and other human beings anything. Its foolish thinking theyre above others due to 'status'.

Again you don't acknowledge how difficult it is for someone who is wealthy and has probably seen poverty and less income, and then seeing their child willingly go through most likely the struggles they've tried to avoid. Didn't see any mention where the parents were being egotistical, but rather caring for their child.

On 10/11/2017 at 7:15 PM, Guest Positive said:

Your parents sound like egotistical fools. 

I hope you don't try being egotistical yourself and shouting negatively to others in real life.

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