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Guest Abominari

Wedding Questions: Mixed religion & race??

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Guest Abominari   
Guest Abominari

Hello.

My Indian Jatt Sikh boyfriend proposed last month. I accepted. We're very much inlove. I've been trying to look up how mixed race/mixed religions combine their 'ideals & traditions'. I'm a White British atheist but have always wanted the traditional white dress. I also love the Sikh weddings, and of course will be having a very traditional Sikh wedding.

I've seen that some people, through YouTube videos, have 2 marriage ceremonies... one Sikh and one non-religious/very western... is this a pretty common option, to have both? Is there not a way to put aspects of my dream wedding within the Sikh marriage ceremony? Or would it be best to do 'my' side of things the day after?

 

Also, my father is meant to give me away. I have no relationship with him, so can I use my mother or sister?

I'd love to know if anyone here can tell me what options they've seen or even been a part of.

 

I'm going to India in December to witness some inlaw-weddings, and I will talk to my inlaws then, for information... but I'm just researching for myself at the moment, you know?

 

Thank you in advance.

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Guest Jacfsing2   
Guest Jacfsing2
4 hours ago, Guest Abominari said:

Hello.

My Indian Jatt Sikh boyfriend proposed last month. I accepted. We're very much inlove. I've been trying to look up how mixed race/mixed religions combine their 'ideals & traditions'. I'm a White British atheist but have always wanted the traditional white dress. I also love the Sikh weddings, and of course will be having a very traditional Sikh wedding.

I've seen that some people, through YouTube videos, have 2 marriage ceremonies... one Sikh and one non-religious/very western... is this a pretty common option, to have both? Is there not a way to put aspects of my dream wedding within the Sikh marriage ceremony? Or would it be best to do 'my' side of things the day after?

 

Also, my father is meant to give me away. I have no relationship with him, so can I use my mother or sister?

I'd love to know if anyone here can tell me what options they've seen or even been a part of.

 

I'm going to India in December to witness some inlaw-weddings, and I will talk to my inlaws then, for information... but I'm just researching for myself at the moment, you know?

 

Thank you in advance.

In the most respectful way I can say possible, I wouldn't recommend a religious-based wedding for you and your fiancé. The reason is that in a Sikh wedding, (Anand Karaj), we make our vows to Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji and we make lifestyle vows, with marriage only being a part of the vow, (most of it is about Vaheguru). As for not having a Christian wedding, you aren't Christian and neither is he, the best logical recommendation unless either of you convert is a secular wedding. Your race has no importance in a wedding neither does your spouse. For the giving you process, that's something you'll have to decide yourself. But I will address one key point that you made, on some Sikh Gurdwaras allowing mixed-faith Anand Karaj's it's straight-up for money and not you personally.

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dallysingh101    1,585
On 8/9/2017 at 6:54 PM, Guest Abominari said:

Hello.

My Indian Jatt Sikh boyfriend proposed last month. I accepted. We're very much inlove. I've been trying to look up how mixed race/mixed religions combine their 'ideals & traditions'. I'm a White British atheist but have always wanted the traditional white dress. I also love the Sikh weddings, and of course will be having a very traditional Sikh wedding.

I've seen that some people, through YouTube videos, have 2 marriage ceremonies... one Sikh and one non-religious/very western... is this a pretty common option, to have both? Is there not a way to put aspects of my dream wedding within the Sikh marriage ceremony? Or would it be best to do 'my' side of things the day after?

 

Also, my father is meant to give me away. I have no relationship with him, so can I use my mother or sister?

I'd love to know if anyone here can tell me what options they've seen or even been a part of.

 

I'm going to India in December to witness some inlaw-weddings, and I will talk to my inlaws then, for information... but I'm just researching for myself at the moment, you know?

 

Thank you in advance.

There is a lot of hoo-ha about this right now in Britain. Personally I think it is sacrilege for non-Sikhs (let alone atheists) to be married using Anand Karaj because it just makes those vows at the centre of it (which are essentially a commitment to the faith) hollow and meaningless. Many brits (especially from protestant backgrounds) might not be able to grasp this because they've already turned their church based weddings into religiously meaningless events a long time ago, and are perfectly happy with this (which is fine and their own prerogative). But this is exactly what many Sikhs want to avoid with their own institutes. 

That's where the Sikh community are right now in Britain.

However, if you're getting married in India - them pendus probably wouldn't give a toss as long as they are paid (and you might find a few unscrupulous Gurdwara committees willing to do the same here). 

Do us a favour, and don't make our religious heritage into some exoticised experience for yourself - your farmer husband should have explained this to you but if he's grown up simply in a village, he's probably not been informed too much about these things (plus he might be loved up and blind to it anyway - you know how it goes). 

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jkvlondon    3,510
On 09/08/2017 at 6:54 PM, Guest Abominari said:

Hello.

My Indian Jatt Sikh boyfriend proposed last month. I accepted. We're very much inlove. I've been trying to look up how mixed race/mixed religions combine their 'ideals & traditions'. I'm a White British atheist but have always wanted the traditional white dress. I also love the Sikh weddings, and of course will be having a very traditional Sikh wedding.

I've seen that some people, through YouTube videos, have 2 marriage ceremonies... one Sikh and one non-religious/very western... is this a pretty common option, to have both? Is there not a way to put aspects of my dream wedding within the Sikh marriage ceremony? Or would it be best to do 'my' side of things the day after?

 

Also, my father is meant to give me away. I have no relationship with him, so can I use my mother or sister?

I'd love to know if anyone here can tell me what options they've seen or even been a part of.

 

I'm going to India in December to witness some inlaw-weddings, and I will talk to my inlaws then, for information... but I'm just researching for myself at the moment, you know?

 

Thank you in advance.

I would recommend you watch the anand Karaj Course with your fia nce from the Basics of SIkhi Channel on youtube because you need to know just what sikh marriage is about . You will be undertaking the task of teaching your kids SIkhi and not become an impediment to their faith development . As an atheist maybe  your guy has assumed that he didn't need to explain this ... which is kind of unfair... learn from the waheguru course also the history and belief system of sikhi

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simran345    2,459
2 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

I would recommend you watch the anand Karaj Course with your fia nce from the Basics of SIkhi Channel on youtube because you need to know just what sikh marriage is about .

 

 

 

 

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