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Thinking about someone

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Guest JaiKanhaiya   
Guest JaiKanhaiya

I keep thinking about someone that I should no longer be thinking about and Im not sure what to do? I want to forget them, they forgot me, But I cant shake this. My life has moved on but my memory hasn't 

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Not2Cool2Argue    347
14 hours ago, Guest JaiKanhaiya said:

I keep thinking about someone that I should no longer be thinking about and Im not sure what to do? I want to forget them, they forgot me, But I cant shake this. My life has moved on but my memory hasn't 

It takes time, and if u havent gotten anything more interesting, stressful or mind consuming going on, then ur mind is free to roam. Have descipline for ur mind, start giving it stuff to think, create other memories to think abt, read more, meditate, and dont let mind dwell on memories as soon as it does, pull it away and make it do something else

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Guest JaiKanhaiya   
Guest JaiKanhaiya

 

4 hours ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

It takes time, and if u havent gotten anything more interesting, stressful or mind consuming going on, then ur mind is free to roam. Have descipline for ur mind, start giving it stuff to think, create other memories to think abt, read more, meditate, and dont let mind dwell on memories as soon as it does, pull it away and make it do something else

It's been more than 6 years since she broke my heart but in the months after God has given me everything more than what I could have imagined. How ungrateful am I? I've given him nothing back in return. But the feeling has always been there that she was the one, he gave me ten things but I cry for the 11th. I didn't realise after this long I am still heartbroken. 

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simran345    2,471
20 hours ago, Guest JaiKanhaiya said:

I keep thinking about someone that I should no longer be thinking about and Im not sure what to do? I want to forget them, they forgot me, But I cant shake this. My life has moved on but my memory hasn't 

Guruji tells us:

ਮਹਲਾ ੫  
महला ५ ॥ 
Mėhlā 5. 
5th Guru. 
 
ਕਬੀਰਾ ਹਮਰਾ ਕੋ ਨਹੀ ਹਮ ਕਿਸ ਹੂ ਕੇ ਨਾਹਿ  
कबीरा हमरा को नही हम किस हू के नाहि ॥ 
Kabīrā hamrā ko nahī ham kis hū ke nāhi. 
Kabir, no one is mine, nor belong I to any one. 
 

ਜਿਨਿ ਇਹੁ ਰਚਨੁ ਰਚਾਇਆ ਤਿਸ ਹੀ ਮਾਹਿ ਸਮਾਹਿ ॥੨੧੪॥ 
जिनि इहु रचनु रचाइआ तिस ही माहि समाहि ॥२१४॥ 
Jin ih racẖan racẖā▫i▫ā ṯis hī māhi samāhi. ||214|| 
He, who has created this creation; in Him am I merged.

SGGSji Ang 1376

🙏🏻 Dhan Guru Arjan Dev ji

 

 

ਨਿਜ ਕਰਿ ਦੇਖਿਓ ਜਗਤੁ ਮੈ ਕੋ ਕਾਹੂ ਕੋ ਨਾਹਿ  
निज करि देखिओ जगतु मै को काहू को नाहि ॥ 
Nij kar ḏekẖi▫o jagaṯ mai ko kāhū ko nāhi. 
I have looked upon everyone as my own, however, I have observed that, in this world, no one is another's friend. 
 
ਨਾਨਕ ਥਿਰੁ ਹਰਿ ਭਗਤਿ ਹੈ ਤਿਹ ਰਾਖੋ ਮਨ ਮਾਹਿ ॥੪੮॥ 
नानक थिरु हरि भगति है तिह राखो मन माहि ॥४८॥ 
Nānak thir har bẖagaṯ hai ṯih rākẖo man māhi. ||48|| 
Nanak, permanent is only the devotional service of God. Enshrine thou that in thy mind. 

SGGS ji Ang 1429

🙏🏻Dhan Guru Tegh Bahadur ji

 

As @Not2Cool2Argue paji says distract yourself from it. 

They were never yours in the first place and nor were you theirs. 

Edited by simran345
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Guest JaiKanhaiya   
Guest JaiKanhaiya
6 hours ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

It takes time, and if u havent gotten anything more interesting, stressful or mind consuming going on, then ur mind is free to roam. Have descipline for ur mind, start giving it stuff to think, create other memories to think abt, read more, meditate, and dont let mind dwell on memories as soon as it does, pull it away and make it do something else

 

1 hour ago, simran345 said:

Guruji tells us:

ਮਹਲਾ ੫  
महला ५ ॥ 
Mėhlā 5. 
5th Guru. 
 
ਕਬੀਰਾ ਹਮਰਾ ਕੋ ਨਹੀ ਹਮ ਕਿਸ ਹੂ ਕੇ ਨਾਹਿ  
कबीरा हमरा को नही हम किस हू के नाहि ॥ 
Kabīrā hamrā ko nahī ham kis hū ke nāhi. 
Kabir, no one is mine, nor belong I to any one. 
 

ਜਿਨਿ ਇਹੁ ਰਚਨੁ ਰਚਾਇਆ ਤਿਸ ਹੀ ਮਾਹਿ ਸਮਾਹਿ ॥੨੧੪॥ 
जिनि इहु रचनु रचाइआ तिस ही माहि समाहि ॥२१४॥ 
Jin ih racẖan racẖā▫i▫ā ṯis hī māhi samāhi. ||214|| 
He, who has created this creation; in Him am I merged.

SGGSji Ang 1376

🙏🏻 Dhan Guru Arjan Dev ji

 

 

ਨਿਜ ਕਰਿ ਦੇਖਿਓ ਜਗਤੁ ਮੈ ਕੋ ਕਾਹੂ ਕੋ ਨਾਹਿ  
निज करि देखिओ जगतु मै को काहू को नाहि ॥ 
Nij kar ḏekẖi▫o jagaṯ mai ko kāhū ko nāhi. 
I have looked upon everyone as my own, however, I have observed that, in this world, no one is another's friend. 
 
ਨਾਨਕ ਥਿਰੁ ਹਰਿ ਭਗਤਿ ਹੈ ਤਿਹ ਰਾਖੋ ਮਨ ਮਾਹਿ ॥੪੮॥ 
नानक थिरु हरि भगति है तिह राखो मन माहि ॥४८॥ 
Nānak thir har bẖagaṯ hai ṯih rākẖo man māhi. ||48|| 
Nanak, permanent is only the devotional service of God. Enshrine thou that in thy mind. 

SGGS ji Ang 1429

🙏🏻Dhan Guru Tegh Bahadur ji

 

As @Not2Cool2Argue paji says distract yourself from it. 

They were never yours in the first place and nor were you theirs. 

 

I wrote earlier but my post has not appeared. I read bani once and to paraphrase maharaj said we are given ten things but we cry for the 11th, but if we were given the 11th and the ten were taken away what would we do then? I truly believe this is what I am doing, I haven't found contentment even though he has given me everything and more than I could have asked for, At the time i didn't know where I was going or I was going to end up anywhere but maharaj resolved everything for me and more how can I be so ungrateful when he has given me everything. But I still feel heartbroken for one moment I fell in love with someone and I haven't felt the same again. 

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Guest JaiKanhaiya   
Guest JaiKanhaiya

The other thing is I am terrible at listening to my Guru and I keep making the same mistaked over and over again. 

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Guest saarkey   
Guest saarkey
4 hours ago, Guest JaiKanhaiya said:

 

 

I wrote earlier but my post has not appeared. I read bani once and to paraphrase maharaj said we are given ten things but we cry for the 11th, but if we were given the 11th and the ten were taken away what would we do then? I truly believe this is what I am doing, I haven't found contentment even though he has given me everything and more than I could have asked for, At the time i didn't know where I was going or I was going to end up anywhere but maharaj resolved everything for me and more how can I be so ungrateful when he has given me everything. But I still feel heartbroken for one moment I fell in love with someone and I haven't felt the same again. 

? How many times have I told you to forget that <banned word filter activated> in your past and start appreciating what you do have now, before you lose that too? You must be one of the biggest a^ r^ s^ e^ h^ o^ l^ e^ s imaginable ^-^ You really need to grow up and I am telling you there is no point in barking up the wrong tree anymore.  You can fool fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the tipeople me, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time. That <banned word filter activated> wasn't more special than our Guru so start listening to the Gurbaaney as well as be grateful to all the help you are getting to get on with your life.

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Wingz23    189

There are many in youre situation. Including I... You are not alone.

 

Stay blessed

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simran345    2,471
11 hours ago, Guest JaiKanhaiya said:

 

 

I wrote earlier but my post has not appeared. I read bani once and to paraphrase maharaj said we are given ten things but we cry for the 11th, but if we were given the 11th and the ten were taken away what would we do then? I truly believe this is what I am doing, I haven't found contentment even though he has given me everything and more than I could have asked for, At the time i didn't know where I was going or I was going to end up anywhere but maharaj resolved everything for me and more how can I be so ungrateful when he has given me everything. But I still feel heartbroken for one moment I fell in love with someone and I haven't felt the same again. 

To OP, and @Wingz23 penji, these videos will help you.

 

 

 

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Singh1989    76

I can relate as I know the feeling, of remembering someone you once knew like a brother but today? We put our heads down n walk on if our paths cross the street! Total strangers. You cannot forget something like this.

 

Have you 2 kept contact or she does not wish to know you? If contact can b maintained there is nothing wrong with being just friends. Become friends and take santokh from it. Benefit, the contact of being in her life will be there.

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simran345    2,471
49 minutes ago, Singh1989 said:

Become friends and take santokh from it. Benefit, the contact of being in her life will be there.

This won't help, it will make things worse. She broke his heart, so letting her go is the best thing, both for him and her. Evi na lub joo vich faso or you'll fall into the same trap again.  Just friends isn't going to be that easy to do. It's not worth the problems and dukh that will arise afterwards. Is it really worth creating more dukh just because the soul is feeling empty ? These things happen for a reason. What is she's got married, are you going to be that selfish to ruin somebody's marriage? Also you may find somebody else that will be your life partner.  Stop feeling sorry for yourself and banda banja. Probably a blessing to show OP that:

ਬੰਦੇ ਖੋਜੁ ਦਿਲ ਹਰ ਰੋਜ ਨਾ ਫਿਰੁ ਪਰੇਸਾਨੀ ਮਾਹਿ  
बंदे खोजु दिल हर रोज ना फिरु परेसानी माहि ॥ 
Banḏe kẖoj ḏil har roj nā fir paresānī māhi. 
O man, search thy heart every day and wander not in perplexity. 
 

ਇਹ ਜੁ ਦੁਨੀਆ ਸਿਹਰੁ ਮੇਲਾ ਦਸਤਗੀਰੀ ਨਾਹਿ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ  
इह जु दुनीआ सिहरु मेला दसतगीरी नाहि ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥ 
Ih jo ḏunī▫ā sihar melā ḏasaṯgīrī nāhi. ||1|| rahā▫o. 
This world is a magic show. In it there is not on is hold thy hand. Pause. 

SGGSji Ang 727

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Guest JaiKanhaiye   
Guest JaiKanhaiye

I can't contact her I am myself married now and have been for 5 years. But I haven't found contentment. But I did text her the other day to apologise if I ever wronged her, did anything inappropriate or dishonourable. She didn't say anything like that back to me. Clearly what ever feelings there were they were one way.   But I don't want to go down any path that my cause conflict in hers or my life.

My wife doesn't know about her but my wife did tell me about her life before she met me and it didn't bother me at all but I could tell my wife wasn't the type of person that wasn't going to not get bothered by these things her self. So I just kept it to myself and have done and have never let anyone know how I felt at the time.

There was a difference with the girl and my wife I remember it clearly in my mind,  with her I said I want to marry her, and with my wife I said I'll marry this girl. Before I got married I had pretty much said that this was the last person I was going to meet and I had made peace with myself that there would be no more introductions. I haven't got nothing to complain about I have a good life, a good wife a good family. God has been good to me. I don't want to jeopardise that why should I? I just don't want this feeling anymore of what if? I didn't realise I had buried everything so deep that my heart still hurt. I remember I took a Hukamnama afterwards and maharaj said it was a sin to break someone's heart. From that i took he knew I was heartbroken and that never to break someone's heart myself. I don't want to break my wife's heart or anyone else's. I would never wish this feeling upon anyone. I bore her not much thought at all just everynow and again I would think about her but this last week I can't stop thinking about her. 

On 10/08/2017 at 4:32 AM, Not2Cool2Argue said:

It takes time, and if u havent gotten anything more interesting, stressful or mind consuming going on, then ur mind is free to roam. Have descipline for ur mind, start giving it stuff to think, create other memories to think abt, read more, meditate, and dont let mind dwell on memories as soon as it does, pull it away and make it do something else

It's been more than 6 years since she broke my heart but in the months after God has given me everything more than what I could have imagined. How ungrateful am I? I've given him nothing back in return. But the feeling has always been there that she was the one, he gave me ten things but I cry for the 11th. I didn't realise after this long I am still heartbroken. 

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JaiKanhaiya    1

I don't she is married im pretty certain of it . When I texted her I didnt think her number would even be the same. At the time I thought she was making a mistake not marrying me  that probably sounds very arrogant. I would have taken care of her. I don't think I'm a very good husband to my wife becaus of this regret. Because my gut feeling is still that she was the one. How do you reconcile that with the belief that everything out guru does is for the best? If I did contact her then there would be nothing innocent in my intentions. All she could do is break my heart again maybe that will end it and I can move on. 

 

Raag Prabhaatee - Guru Arjan Dev Ji - Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji - Ang 1347

 

Bibhaas, Prabhaatee, Fifth Mehla, Ashtpadheeyaa:

 

One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru

 

Mother, father, siblings, children and spouse

 

involved with them, people eat the food of bliss.

 

The mind is entangled in sweet emotional attachment.

 

Those who seek God's Glorious Virtues are the support of my breath of life. ||1||

 

My One Lord is the Inner-Knower, the Searcher of hearts.

 

He alone is my Support; He is my only Protection. My Great Lord and Master is over and above the heads of kings. ||1||Pause||

 

I have broken my ties to that deceitful serpent.

 

The Guru has told me that it is false and fraudulent.

 

Its face is sweet, but it tastes very bitter

 

My mind remains satisfied with the Ambrosial Naam, the Name of the Lord. ||2||

 

I have broken my ties with greed and emotional attachment.

 

The Merciful Guru has rescued me from them.

 

These cheating thieves have plundered so many homes.

 

The Merciful Guru has protected and saved me. ||3||

 

I have no dealings whatsoever with sexual desire and anger.

 

I listen to the Guru's Teachings.

 

Wherever I look, I see the most horrible goblins.

 

My Guru, the Lord of the World, has saved me from them. ||4||

 

I have made widows of the ten sensory organs

 

The Guru has told me that these pleasures are the fires of corruption.

 

Those who associate with them go to hell.

 

The Guru has saved me; I am lovingly attuned to the Lord. ||5||

 

I have forsaken the advice of my ego.

 

The Guru has told me that this is foolish stubbornness.

 

This ego is homeless; it shall never find a home.

 

The Guru has saved me; I am lovingly attuned to the Lord. ||6|

 

I have become alienated from these people.

 

We cannot both live together in one home.

 

Grasping the hem of the Guru's Robe, I have come to God.

 

Please be fair with me, All-knowing Lord God. ||7||

 

God smiled at me and spoke, passing judgement.

 

He made all the demons perform service for me.

 

You are my Lord and Master; all this home belongs to You.

 

Says Nanak, the Guru has passed judgement. ||8||1||
Edited by JaiKanhaiya
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