Guest paiyyani

Can a sikh girl marry a hindu boy ?

40 posts in this topic

I am a sikh girl from punjab. My age is 25. I fallen in love with a hindu guy originally from UP but now settled in punjaab. He is really handsom and I love him a lot. But my family is sikh sardar. My boyfriends mother is saying the child will be raised as hindu and all hindu ceremonies will be performed on future son like mundan, ear peircing, janeu. I told my parents. Their parents met my parents and my parents are ok with it. my father and mother is amritdhari still they are allowing me to marry a hindu boy and future son will be hindu without turban. I am ok with it. But my local gurudwara granthi telling me its not good. and some aunties also telling same. I am confused . Please tell what I should do. 

My other 2 sikh friends have also married good looking hindu boys but I dont know if I am doing right thing although i like him. 

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You won't be able to have an Anand Karaj as that requires two people who are commited only to Guru Granth Sahib Ji. 

I feel sorry for you that you think marrying someone you like is the highest point of this life.

You were born in a sikh family, that too amritdhari. Your children could have been sikh too, you could have led them to the house of Nanak.

That same home, that gave you, a woman, the same status as man, a weapon in your hand. The house where the caste system was abolished and you were thought of as a young prince (kaur). You are throwing away this royal lineage of your  children (Singh & Kaur) so that you and they can worship idols and complete rituals. If you feel okay with taking that future away from your children... well then no one can stop you. 

 

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On 8/7/2017 at 4:08 AM, Guest paiyyani said:

I am a sikh girl from punjab. My age is 25. I fallen in love with a hindu guy originally from UP but now settled in punjaab. He is really handsom and I love him a lot. But my family is sikh sardar. My boyfriends mother is saying the child will be raised as hindu and all hindu ceremonies will be performed on future son like mundan, ear peircing, janeu. I told my parents. Their parents met my parents and my parents are ok with it. my father and mother is amritdhari still they are allowing me to marry a hindu boy and future son will be hindu without turban. I am ok with it. But my local gurudwara granthi telling me its not good. and some aunties also telling same. I am confused . Please tell what I should do. 

My other 2 sikh friends have also married good looking hindu boys but I dont know if I am doing right thing although i like him. 

These posts always crack me up. You will probably do whatever you want to and are only asking this question so you can acquire some sort of moral ratification for your intent. Is this how weak our women have grown now? They will throw away their virsa for those people who were the foremost in opposing their forefathers from day one? 

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Why doesn't your family agree to what the Gurdwara Granthi says ? 

Nobody here is going to say it's ok to do Anand Karaj in the Gurdwara, when the Granthi has already told you. 

At the end of the day, you are going to do what you want anyways, but don't let it disrespect Sikhi, as @followthelight  and @13Mirch pajis have explained it. 

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1 hour ago, 13Mirch said:

These posts always crack me up. You will probably do whatever you want to and are only asking this question so you can acquire some sort of moral ratification for your intent. Is this how weak our women have grown now? They will throw away their virsa for those people who were the foremost in opposing their forefathers from day one? 

But he's handsome. So handsome. 

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On 06/08/2017 at 5:08 PM, Guest paiyyani said:

I am a sikh girl from punjab. My age is 25. I fallen in love with a hindu guy originally from UP but now settled in punjaab. He is really handsom and I love him a lot. But my family is sikh sardar. My boyfriends mother is saying the child will be raised as hindu and all hindu ceremonies will be performed on future son like mundan, ear peircing, janeu. I told my parents. Their parents met my parents and my parents are ok with it. my father and mother is amritdhari still they are allowing me to marry a hindu boy and future son will be hindu without turban. I am ok with it. But my local gurudwara granthi telling me its not good. and some aunties also telling same. I am confused . Please tell what I should do. 

My other 2 sikh friends have also married good looking hindu boys but I dont know if I am doing right thing although i like him. 

Please think through this very carefully. Marriage will change your life. You will be spending the rest of your life with this person so you need to think wisely! The criteria you have shown in your post about your future to be husband (handsomeness) is shallow to be blunt! You post reveals that your to be household has thought this marriage through already as your mother in law has laid down the rules already.

Take a dip into the rich heritage that you WILL BE LEAVING BEHIND when you enter your boyfriend's household. There was a time when every Hindu family would raise their first born son as a Sikh. 

Apologies if this post sounds harsh but the OP has asked for advice. Sometimes I am suspicious of these types of posts debating whether they are genuine! I've made the assumption that this one is. 

 

 

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On 8/6/2017 at 0:08 PM, Guest paiyyani said:

I am a sikh girl from punjab. My age is 25. I fallen in love with a hindu guy originally from UP but now settled in punjaab. He is really handsom and I love him a lot. But my family is sikh sardar. My boyfriends mother is saying the child will be raised as hindu and all hindu ceremonies will be performed on future son like mundan, ear peircing, janeu. I told my parents. Their parents met my parents and my parents are ok with it. my father and mother is amritdhari still they are allowing me to marry a hindu boy and future son will be hindu without turban. I am ok with it. But my local gurudwara granthi telling me its not good. and some aunties also telling same. I am confused . Please tell what I should do. 

My other 2 sikh friends have also married good looking hindu boys but I dont know if I am doing right thing although i like him. 

I highly doubt that you are mentally mature enough to be marrying anyone to be honest. (I don't care if you claim to be 25, you sound like a kid going to get some candy). But since apparently the only good quality you can mention of this man is his looks, would you still be "loving", him if he ever had an accident or if he ever grew old? Forgetting all the Sikh reasons for not marrying a Hindu, you just aren't mature enough to be marrying anyone.

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2 hours ago, ssinghuk said:

There was a time when every Hindu family would raise their first born son as a Sikh. 

Only Punjabi Ksychatrias did this.

Fact: The Guy who first claimed that all Hindus did this didn't make his first son a Sikh.

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2 hours ago, Guest OP is a troll said:

Troll alert

Could be, as the troll clue is in the title. 

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22 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

But he's handsome. So handsome. 

Get him framed then so that no one can give him the evil eye.  

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1 hour ago, 13Mirch said:

Get him framed then so that no one can give him the evil eye.  

No, you done it wrong. First get some leaves, fresh from the garden,(or any garden). Circle around the frame first 20 times, then frame. 

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On 10/08/2017 at 10:35 AM, MisterrSingh said:

But he's handsome. So handsome. 

and his complexion is shiny like a perfectly seasoned tawa.Just be aware that all the violence against women and flippant misogyny springs from UP's wonderful soil , just check all Indian news over the past decade.

Edited by jkvlondon
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On 11/08/2017 at 10:40 AM, jkvlondon said:

shiny

Can be shinier. She should also get some rishta pics from him. But make sure they're from a professional Studio, because they're the only ones that specialise in marriage quality poses. Such as; side pose with hand on chin, triangle pose 🙆🏽‍♂️, might get lucky if they do this one 🙅🏼‍♂️.  But the best one is 💁🏾‍♂️.

Edited by simran345
Deleted a word
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15 hours ago, simran345 said:

No, you done it wrong. First get some leaves, fresh from the garden,(or any garden). Circle around the frame first 20 times, then frame. 

The famous tulsi leaf....

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16 hours ago, simran345 said:

No, you done it wrong. First get some leaves, fresh from the garden,(or any garden). Circle around the frame first 20 times, then frame. 

Simran Penji I am ashamed of you! how could you forget the good old black dot behind the ear!!!! shame ! 

giphy.gif

 

Just joking :D 

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While its tempting to lash out at her as irresponsible nd shallow, or ridicule her as i m seeing in the posts above, i can somehow also relate to wat she's going through 

Lets face it, most of our saabat surat guys are hairy. Even those who tend to trim their beards to be more visually appealing, are still lagging behind monay hindu/muslim boys, who on the "visually appealing" scale tend to trump sikh guys. 

And since op is in full joban of her youth, it is but natural that she will fall for the handsome dude rather than some baaba looking material for marriage 

I myself rarely feel attracted to sardar men. Its always the monay groomed guys that ace when it comes to sexuality nd romanticism. 

I m not saying sardars aren't good looking. They can be, but tbh the way current definition of looks is defined in bollywood nd India in general, our men tend to get the shorter end of the stick. 

One can argue we should avoid moh maya because ultimately every handsome dude will get ugly with age. Its guaranteed but i doubt op can avoid maya so easily 

This posts is not an anecdote i feel. It raises several questions we as community need to address. 

This is my take on this post. Best of luck op

Edited by AjeetSinghPunjabi

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4 hours ago, Kira said:

Simran Penji I am ashamed of you! how could you forget the good old black dot behind the ear!!!! shame ! 

giphy.gif

 

Just joking :D 

That was your job 😋

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21 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

and his complexion is shiny like a perfectly seasoned tawa.Just be aware that all the violence against women and flippant misogyny springs from UP's wonderful soil , just check all Indian news over the past decade.

Surprisingly, the forum's very own neo-liberals haven't arrived on this thread yet. Their noses blocked or something? 

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On 10/08/2017 at 3:10 PM, Guest Jagsaw_Singh said:

Followthelight, can I please give you some friendly advice ?

Next time, when you feel the urge to reply to a new thread, have a really good read of the message you're replying to. Read it well - really analyse it. Spot the signs that reveal that the poster is not who she or she says they are. Spot how the poster starts by pretending to be someone from India - calls her own family 'sikh sardar' when no actual Sikh describes themselves that way (only Hindus do) - deliberately misspells simple English words in order to show that they are a "Sikh from India" but then in subsequent sentences forgets what they were pretending to do and articulates difficult English sentences in perfect English. Starts by constructing English sentences really badly but then sometimes forgets the plan and mistakingly constructs English sentences beautifully. And then, right at the end, the Hindu boy pretending to be a Sikh girl couldn't resist his natural temptation to call Hindu boys "good looking" when both you and me know that nobody (except Hindus)  in the entire history of the universe has ever called a Hindu boy "good looking".

All I'm saying is try and be a little more alert. Learn how to read between the lines.

My brain hurts reading this. I will try be more alert next time hahaha

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3 hours ago, 13Mirch said:

Surprisingly, the forum's very own neo-liberals haven't arrived on this thread yet. Their noses blocked or something? 

probaly getting ready the kajal to put kala tika , and clearing throats for 'chasme bud door' ^_^

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4 hours ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

While its tempting to lash out at her as irresponsible nd shallow, or ridicule her as i m seeing in the posts above, i can somehow also relate to wat she's going through 

Lets face it, most of our saabat surat guys are hairy. Even those who tend to trim their beards to be more visually appealing, are still lagging behind monay hindu/muslim boys, who on the "visually appealing" scale tend to trump sikh guys. 

And since op is in full joban of her youth, it is but natural that she will fall for the handsome dude rather than some baaba looking material for marriage 

I myself rarely feel attracted to sardar men. Its always the monay groomed guys that ace when it comes to sexuality nd romanticism. 

I m not saying sardars aren't good looking. They can be, but tbh the way current definition of looks is defined in bollywood nd India in general, our men tend to get the shorter end of the stick. 

One can argue we should avoid moh maya because ultimately every handsome dude will get ugly with age. Its guaranteed but i doubt op can avoid maya so easily 

This posts is not an anecdote i feel. It raises several questions we as community need to address. 

This is my take on this post. Best of luck op

this 'she' is a He and one who is non-sikh as many have twigged . 

All I read is that you had been conditioned to reject your own much like the myriad sikh girls who watch bollywood/Hindian dramas - have you never noticed that any sikh character NEVER marries or has love affair with a sikh except biopics made in Punjab ?

The sikh girl's always fall for a muslim (straight up insult to our people) or a Hindu and rejects the sardar to go with her heart .the sikh guy also singh is king is an example , even they had Sardar falling for a muslimah and then doing kesh di beadbhi and conversion to muslim for the girl ... This is straight up cultural assasination and people like you are falling for it 

You won't fall for a sardar because you know the likelihood of him being gay is miniscule , and you've been conditioned to like  hairless manscaped bodiesbelonging to emasculated men/boys like the girls which seriously speaks to the paedophilic agenda in Media and Entertainment industries, similarly hetero guys are taught to like hairless, childlike girls  it is seriously creepy . What else could you understand the infamous 'Brasilian' represents?

you honestly don't think those bollywood and hollywood guys would be hairy as gorillas without all that waxing and lasering? Wake up and see how you are being manipulated

 

Edited by jkvlondon
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6 hours ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

While its tempting to lash out at her as irresponsible nd shallow, or ridicule her as i m seeing in the posts above, i can somehow also relate to wat she's going through 

Lets face it, most of our saabat surat guys are hairy. Even those who tend to trim their beards to be more visually appealing, are still lagging behind monay hindu/muslim boys, who on the "visually appealing" scale tend to trump sikh guys. 

And since op is in full joban of her youth, it is but natural that she will fall for the handsome dude rather than some baaba looking material for marriage 

I myself rarely feel attracted to sardar men. Its always the monay groomed guys that ace when it comes to sexuality nd romanticism. 

I m not saying sardars aren't good looking. They can be, but tbh the way current definition of looks is defined in bollywood nd India in general, our men tend to get the shorter end of the stick. 

One can argue we should avoid moh maya because ultimately every handsome dude will get ugly with age. Its guaranteed but i doubt op can avoid maya so easily 

This posts is not an anecdote i feel. It raises several questions we as community need to address. 

This is my take on this post. Best of luck op

You may have not noticed by now, but O.P. isn't looking for genuine advice, but rather is trying to troll us, (though it would make since for some people to be confused). Now I highly doubt that this is even a women posting this, especially since as because it's pretty rare for Amritdhari parents to just give-up, (from what I've seen).

About your situation, men manscaping has never been a popular concept, the ones who do manscape have usually had some confidence issues, removing chest hair, leg hair, and arm hair have never been popular for men in any scenario with the exception of some celebrities. You aren't attracted to Sardars, (also no Sikh refers to themselves as Sardars), because you know that they aren't gay, and even if they were gay, they would love their Guru more than their personal fetishes.

If you are talking about pure appearance, then every group as attractive people and less attractive people. But what I will say is that anyone who is wearing a religious object openly will not as likely appeal to outsiders, (compare this to any religion not just Sikhs). Now Bollywood and Hollywood don't control who's good-looking and who's not, your either attractive to someone personally or your not, so don't make that excuse. 

Again you are assuming O.P. is genuine, a person who's genuine will at least mention all the extra emotional b.s. of their crush, over just saying their appearance.

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1 hour ago, jkvlondon said:

You won't fall for a sardar because you know the likelihood of him being gay is miniscule , and you've been conditioned to like  hairless manscaped bodiesbelonging to emasculated men/boys like the girls which seriously speaks to the paedophilic agenda in Media and Entertainment industries, similarly hetero guys are taught to like hairless, childlike girls  it is seriously creepy . What else could you understand the infamous 'Brasilian' represents?

Some people naturally grow much less hair than everyone else.

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