Wow penji, I can really feel the prem in your post. It really makes me feel like crap, that you are desiring to taste Amrit so much, that you don’t even care what your parents think only what waheguru thinks, and I’m here after tasting Amrit and wanting to give it up so easily. You have really made me see sikhi in a different way. I didn’t even realise that all this time, going through all this stuff, is just a test. And I feel ASHAMED by still saying that I don’t think I will be able to keep up with the rehat. I just wished I went to an amritdhari school, where everybody was a gursikh and in one roop!!!! But really penji, with the all the time you spent, sending pics and writing on this forum. I feel like you’re a God send. And also at such a young age. Even though it might not seem as much coming from me, a gursikh thinking of leaving sikhi, I pray that maharaj will bless you with Amrit, and NEVER put you in the situation I am in. But before taking Amrit, (but I’m sure you are) make sure you are 100% sure. Tbh I just wish that I took amrit at an older age. But no one is the same. Your karam could be amazing compared to mine. And you seem like you have the prem to keep Amrit and rehat from the age 13 to your last breath. Thank you so much penji
Just making a point but surely when girls comment about you it makes you hankari (egoistic) so I would surround myself with good sangat not with sangat that will activate your hankar (ego) and kaam (lust). I know its hard but you should feel so much love for Vaheguru that girls ill look up to you and want to be more like you. Here, listen to this Vaheguru simran, it is really beautiful, more beautiful than any girl you will ever meet.