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The cost of everything!


Ranjeet01
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Why is in the habit of our people to ask how much you bought something for?

I bought a new pair of trousers and someone noticed. Asked me how much I paid for them.

It could be a house, car or anything. 

Why can't they be happy to appreciate someone to ask these dumb question?

What is their purpose,  is it jealousy or is it that they want to buy one for themselves or could it be that they can say you paid too much and they could got it cheaper.

Should you brag and say you paid much more than you really did?

I never know how to answer this question.

 

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Guest Jagsaw_Singh
2 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

Why is in the habit of our people to ask how much you bought something for?

I bought a new pair of trousers and someone noticed. Asked me how much I paid for them.

It could be a house, car or anything. 

Why can't they be happy to appreciate someone to ask these dumb question?

What is their purpose,  is it jealousy or is it that they want to buy one for themselves or could it be that they can say you paid too much and they could got it cheaper.

Should you brag and say you paid much more than you really did?

I never know how to answer this question.

 

Now I can't stop thinking about your new trousers. Even I would really like to know how much they cost.   So....how much did they cost Ranjeet ???

But there's lots of issues at play here......Firstly, Ranjeet, it could be that people have noticed you wearing the same set of manky pants for several years now and are genuinely excited to see you in new ones. Not able to contain that excitement they wanted to know how much they cost. Perfectly reasonable question.

Secondly, this trait in our community to ask "how much" is not really about jelousy. Its a cultural trait and I really don't see why we need to be embarrassed by it. If we are embarrassed by it I think it is because we are judging cultural norms on the norms of white people and when we feel we've failed to live up to the norms or ideals of white people we feel we've somehow fallen short of what is right and proper. But, when it comes to the things to ask or talk about in public norms we should remind ourselves how western norms are far removed from something that should be considered right and proper. For instance, white Europeans will howl with disgust if you ask them how much their trousers or car cost but will delight in publicly discussing the favoured sexual positions of their wife.

So.....we're all intrigued now with Ranjeet's magic pants. Where did you get them from and how much did they cost ?

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6 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

Why is in the habit of our people to ask how much you bought something for?

It's a desi thing habit.  

 

10 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

Why can't they be happy to appreciate someone to ask these dumb question?

Because if they don't ask, bhoond patakeh larde a ?

Also because if they don't ask, then it won't extend to the questions you've asked below:

13 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

What is their purpose,  is it jealousy or is it that they want to buy one for themselves or could it be that they can say you paid too much and they could got it cheaper.

Depends on what their intention of asking is. Could be jealousy, if they can't afford it themselves or are too kanjoos to buy it. Could be they want to buy it themselves and want to get an idea of how much it maybe.  And lastly, could be "Manu tha DISCOUNT te milgeyi c pent, apne Bittu da bhatija Nekxt ch kam karda" 

17 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

Should you brag and say you paid much more than you really did?

Lol if it's the same person asking all the time and you get fed up of them, up to you if you wish to. Or say, I don't know, which I sometimes do, but you'll get the reply "acha", which is easier to deal with.  I've also blanked people out sometimes, and walked off. But if they are genuinely interested then I don't mind helping out.

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9 hours ago, Guest Jagsaw_Singh said:

Now I can't stop thinking about your new trousers. Even I would really like to know how much they cost.   So....how much did they cost Ranjeet ???

But there's lots of issues at play here......Firstly, Ranjeet, it could be that people have noticed you wearing the same set of manky pants for several years now and are genuinely excited to see you in new ones. Not able to contain that excitement they wanted to know how much they cost. Perfectly reasonable question.

Secondly, this trait in our community to ask "how much" is not really about jelousy. Its a cultural trait and I really don't see why we need to be embarrassed by it. If we are embarrassed by it I think it is because we are judging cultural norms on the norms of white people and when we feel we've failed to live up to the norms or ideals of white people we feel we've somehow fallen short of what is right and proper. But, when it comes to the things to ask or talk about in public norms we should remind ourselves how western norms are far removed from something that should be considered right and proper. For instance, white Europeans will howl with disgust if you ask them how much their trousers or car cost but will delight in publicly discussing the favoured sexual positions of their wife.

So.....we're all intrigued now with Ranjeet's magic pants. Where did you get them from and how much did they cost ?

I got a pair of chinos for the smart casual look from Next for £20.They go great with a nice shirt or pool shirt or even a sweater. I like to mix and match.

There are some great deals out there at the moment and I like to get value for money.

I guess my problem is I don't know how to answer these questions. If I tell them I bought it at the price I bought it, they would probably say that I could have got a better deal or they might think I'm a cheapskate. 

I guess if I am setting a trend and people want to do the same then I guess I should be flattered.

My missus always has go at me for wearing the same clothes. I've got a dodgy fleece that I have worn for nearly 10 years. She wants me to throw it away but I'm quite attached to it. I bought it for about £8 at Matalan.

She's been making a real effort to smarten me up of late. She bought me some Lacoste and Ralph Lauren polo shirts which I know can cost a small fortune. I personally never spend more than £20 on a polo shirt. 

But as I look through my wardrobe, I know I am going to have a makeover. 

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On 19/07/2017 at 9:45 PM, Ranjeet01 said:

I got a pair of chinos for the smart casual look from Next for £20.They go great with a nice shirt or pool shirt or even a sweater. I like to mix and match.

There are some great deals out there at the moment and I like to get value for money.

I guess my problem is I don't know how to answer these questions. If I tell them I bought it at the price I bought it, they would probably say that I could have got a better deal or they might think I'm a cheapskate. 

I guess if I am setting a trend and people want to do the same then I guess I should be flattered.

My missus always has go at me for wearing the same clothes. I've got a dodgy fleece that I have worn for nearly 10 years. She wants me to throw it away but I'm quite attached to it. I bought it for about £8 at Matalan.

She's been making a real effort to smarten me up of late. She bought me some Lacoste and Ralph Lauren polo shirts which I know can cost a small fortune. I personally never spend more than £20 on a polo shirt. 

But as I look through my wardrobe, I know I am going to have a makeover. 

my hubby is the same , can't believe how attached he gets to clothes sometimes , the solution was to donate to charity clothes which were still in good nick but loose or old style (we are talking decades out of fashion suits) . Next is good for quality long lasting trousers, jeans, shirts and tops . I still have embroidered chunnis in perfect nick from over 26 years ago, I think it's respectful and a way of honouring the people who did the work to make things last  and use them well . The effort poor people put into sewing my garments are not any less than my mother did in her youth to feed us and yes I agree brand buying is just paying for the name not giving any more money to the poor people. 

Desi people love to ask to keep track of prices , see whether you are a spendthrift (bad) miser (bad) or use money well without too much attachment (good) . The number of times my Mum asks me the price of things only to tell me did I really need to spend that much . She is only reinforcing value of money concept. Like the Russell Peters joke about Indians shoppers and Chinese shopkeepers- the Indians don't want to spend a penny more than necessary and the Chinese want as many pennies as possible for each thing.

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13 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

my hubby is the same , can't believe how attached he gets to clothes sometimes , the solution was to donate to charity clothes which were still in good nick but loose or old style (we are talking decades out of fashion suits) . Next is good for quality long lasting trousers, jeans, shirts and tops . I still have embroidered chunnis in perfect nick from over 26 years ago, I think it's respectful and a way of honouring the people who did the work to make things last  and use them well . The effort poor people put into sewing my garments are not any less than my mother did in her youth to feed us and yes I agree brand buying is just paying for the name not giving any more money to the poor people. 

Desi people love to ask to keep track of prices , see whether you are a spendthrift (bad) miser (bad) or use money well without too much attachment (good) . The number of times my Mum asks me the price of things only to tell me did I really need to spend that much . She is only reinforcing value of money concept. Like the Russell Peters joke about Indians shoppers and Chinese shopkeepers- the Indians don't want to spend a penny more than necessary and the Chinese want as many pennies as possible for each thing.

I sometimes wonder about the kind of throwaway society we live in.

People think of nothing about spending £££'s on clothing only to discard of it.

Then you have ladies that think of nothing of spending £200 on a suit,only to wear it one or two times.

I think sometimes our people go overboard on cost that it compromises  quality. The amount of times i've seen our people pay for some shoddy service because it's cheap only to find that if they paid a little extra they would have been better off. In fact by going the cheaper option, they end up spending more because they have to rectify the problem.

 

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1 minute ago, Ranjeet01 said:

I sometimes wonder about the kind of throwaway society we live in.

People think of nothing about spending £££'s on clothing only to discard of it.

Then you have ladies that think of nothing of spending £200 on a suit,only to wear it one or two times.

I think sometimes our people go overboard on cost that it compromises  quality. The amount of times i've seen our people pay for some shoddy service because it's cheap only to find that if they paid a little extra they would have been better off. In fact by going the cheaper option, they end up spending more because they have to rectify the problem.

 

my attitude is , if you are spending on something buy well means look at cut, cloth quality and price  you might pay a little more than the cheaper options but it will probably outlast the cheap option by fair amount , same with building works buy well : timeless pieces and decorate in simple clean way so it doesn't date . I don't get people who are constantly redecorating, changing furniture, do it once , do it right and get on with living.
I learnt from my mum that she would be paid peanuts to sew dresses, the same amount of work but if the reel of labels had one name or the other it would cost more or less in the shop it didn't affect what she got paid  .The materials were similar quality so it was clear it was going to the pocket of the company label.

Pennies wise , pound foolish ....is the phrase that comes to mind about that penny pinching attitude ...most evident in travel ...my relatives regularly buy tickets from weird small airlines which have a multitude of stops so that they take almost double the time to get to their country of choice and then they are too tired and wrung to cope with the rest of the trip . 

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