This doesnt seem like fate to me. It seems like a very well thought out proposition. You are taking the advice of an elder. Who is not just advising u out of experience but also his knowledge as he knew about the family. And your fufur did additional investigative work.
I doubt anyone else is lucky enough to get so much to go on to decide. Except there is a new trend to marry ppl from the nanke side to the dadke side. So if someone is from valait, they are not wasting the chance to go bahar on a stranger but someone in the family. And all the info is already known.
Edit: Also wanted to add: the sanjog concept should only come into play once one is married. Especially if a couple is having issues, they should think it is sanjog and try not to think of whatifs and regrets and escape. Before the marriage, the decision and choice and blame is all yours. Afterwards, its all sanjog. Like the saying: before marriage keep ur eyes half open and after marriage, keep them half closed.