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My baby died a few days old

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Guest pinky

My baby was resuscitated at birth, never gained consciousness, died days later.  Where is my baby? Why did this happen? Will my baby come back to me? Was it because of my sins? 

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9 hours ago, Guest pinky said:

My baby was resuscitated at birth, never gained consciousness, died days later.  Where is my baby? Why did this happen? Will my baby come back to me? Was it because of my sins? 

Penji, sorry for your loss.  Firstly, do not blame yourself. Are you getting any support for it? 

There's a past thread on this, another penji had similar questions. It may help to answer some of your questions. 

 

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Guest Jacfsing2
11 hours ago, Guest pinky said:

My baby was resuscitated at birth, never gained consciousness, died days later.  Where is my baby? Why did this happen? Will my baby come back to me? Was it because of my sins? 

I do feel sorry for you, but it's not your fault, (it's not the baby's fault either), but in the grand scheme if things your child was only meant to live in that life for a small amount of time. 

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Please talk to someone about this, it was not your fault. Do not blame yourself ji, do not let this eat you up inside. Please speak to someone about this don't bottle it up . Stop blaming yourself ji

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Guest Pinky

Thank you for your replies, thank you for your very kind heartful words.

I've read the link for the earlier post by misskaur and the learned replies have helped somewhat, im grateful to have read them.  

I felt that my faith in God helped me make sense of stuff in the past, now though I cannot actually meditate on God as I'm so very confused and can't help but be so very angry that my baby is not alive.  I feel guilty for this lack of faith and for everyone's loss.  I feel that i could have prevented this somehow, I am living day to day but devastated.

The gianiji said it happend because of kana pina (Sorry spelling) and those words have stayed with me.  is what gianiji said correct and that is it, am I to accept my bad karma as the sole reason for my baby being born in that way and then dying?  That's it?   To me, the whole concept of karma does not explain or answer why there is immense sadness in the world.  It doesn't explain away the actual pain I feel, all the time.  I try but I can't accept this has happened and further that it's happened because of bad karma alone.

I'm kind of going for counselling to try to make sense of how I feel psycologically but I just keep going round in circles and spiritually I feel lost. I do respect God's will but do not understand why God did not help me to help my baby sooner? Why did God do this?  Or did God not do this? Did God abandon us? How can I find hope that my baby's soul is at peace. 

Sorry if I've not made sense or if I've offended.  Thank you so much for reading.

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22 hours ago, Guest Pinky said:

now though I cannot actually meditate on God as I'm so very confused and can't help but be so very angry that my baby is not alive.  I feel guilty for this lack of faith and for everyone's loss.  I feel that i could have prevented this somehow, I am living day to day but devastated.

Don't worry about not being able to meditate. You are going through many emotions which is normal. Do not feel guilty for lack of faith, but ask God to help you. 

22 hours ago, Guest Pinky said:

The gianiji said it happend because of kana pina (Sorry spelling) and those words have stayed with me.  is what gianiji said correct and that is it, am I to accept my bad karma as the sole reason for my baby being born in that way and then dying?  That's it?  

Which giani ji? Nobody can tell anybody why they lost their loved one. Don't listen to anybody but get your counselling. 

 

22 hours ago, Guest Pinky said:

It doesn't explain away the actual pain I feel, all the time.  I try but I can't accept this has happened and further that it's happened because of bad karma alone.

Don't think about these things of why. This will only stress you more. You're already going through a lot and you have to look after yourself. 

 

22 hours ago, Guest Pinky said:

I'm kind of going for counselling to try to make sense of how I feel psycologically but I just keep going round in circles

What do you mean kind of? 

22 hours ago, Guest Pinky said:

do respect God's will but do not understand why God did not help me to help my baby sooner? Why did God do this?  Or did God not do this? Did God abandon us? How can I find hope that my baby's soul is at peace. 

Don't worry about what you cannot do or not cope with. God did not abandon you, God loves you as every other person the same. You need to deal with your bereavement by getting professional help. Are you able to get that? Penji I am not trained in this area, so I can only advise that you get help from somebody who is. 

22 hours ago, Guest Pinky said:

Sorry if I've not made sense or if I've offended.  Thank you so much for reading.

Please do not apologise for anything. You are going through a difficult time and it's ok to let out the way you feel. But please get professional help first. Things that happen in one's life, sometimes we cannot explain God's way or our own karm. 

Have you been given any relaxation methods by the counsellor? 

I do not have the answers for your questions penji, but only say please do not worry about what could have been done. Is your husband supporting you in this? Have you both talked about it together? 

May Waheguru give you strength to deal with what you are going through. 🙏🏻

 

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Guest PrabhKiSharan

Really sorry about your loss , please accept this as god's will (i know its really difficult). Take advice from guru ji by doing ardas and taking hukamnama it'll surely help you. 

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Guest Jacfsing2
On 7/25/2017 at 9:29 PM, Guest Pinky said:

Thank you for your replies, thank you for your very kind heartful words.

I've read the link for the earlier post by misskaur and the learned replies have helped somewhat, im grateful to have read them.  

I felt that my faith in God helped me make sense of stuff in the past, now though I cannot actually meditate on God as I'm so very confused and can't help but be so very angry that my baby is not alive.  I feel guilty for this lack of faith and for everyone's loss.  I feel that i could have prevented this somehow, I am living day to day but devastated.

The gianiji said it happend because of kana pina (Sorry spelling) and those words have stayed with me.  is what gianiji said correct and that is it, am I to accept my bad karma as the sole reason for my baby being born in that way and then dying?  That's it?   To me, the whole concept of karma does not explain or answer why there is immense sadness in the world.  It doesn't explain away the actual pain I feel, all the time.  I try but I can't accept this has happened and further that it's happened because of bad karma alone.

I'm kind of going for counselling to try to make sense of how I feel psycologically but I just keep going round in circles and spiritually I feel lost. I do respect God's will but do not understand why God did not help me to help my baby sooner? Why did God do this?  Or did God not do this? Did God abandon us? How can I find hope that my baby's soul is at peace. 

Sorry if I've not made sense or if I've offended.  Thank you so much for reading.

We do not know these answers; however, there are times when life will be extremely sad, and we have to go through it, whether we want to or not. Losing anyone is no easy thing, especially if you had a short-time together, but try finding the strength to get-up. I do think a counselor or psychologist will provide better assistance than any of us here, or talking with the ones you closest to in real life, (whoever that is). 

Karma as a whole does not work like we think he does. It only means for every action there's an equal reaction. Rather we shouldn't delve much into this if you are feeling guilty over it, but rather on stuff like praying to Vaheguru to protect your child, wherever he or she is.

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Guest Pinky

Thank you all for taking the time out to reply.  Thank you for your supportive words and giving me reflection. 

 My husband has been supportive yes, he is so badly affected too, we try to support each other.  Sometimes its very difficult to talk though. 

I haven't caught up with some friends/family as I don't want to talk with them about what's happened.  Some people don't get it.  I have kept my circle small on purpose now, as I can't seem to engage fully.   I have talked with dr a couple of times, they also have told me its best if I see a professional.  Reading your comments I see more so now that I need professional support to move on.  I  made contact with a bereavement counsellor yesterday, asked to meet her soon. 

I try so hard to accept what has happened and believe that my baby is in peace surrounded by love, I have to remind myself that God is love.

Thank you for reading. 

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12 hours ago, Guest Pinky said:

My husband has been supportive yes, he is so badly affected too, we try to support each other.  Sometimes its very difficult to talk though. 

 

12 hours ago, Guest Pinky said:

Reading your comments I see more so now that I need professional support to move on.  I  made contact with a bereavement counsellor yesterday, asked to meet her soon. 

Both of you should go to the appointment together, as it affects your husband too. 

12 hours ago, Guest Pinky said:

I haven't caught up with some friends/family as I don't want to talk with them about what's happened.  Some people don't get it.  I have kept my circle small on purpose now, as I can't seem to engage fully.  

Don't worry about this. It's not easy to open up about what's happened. When your soul is ready to deal with others it will, otherwise don't worry until you're ready to. 

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