Guest singhni

Depression to numbness

7 posts in this topic

Sangat ji,

Generally, for the last 2 years I have been dealing with my depression. There have been ups and downs, but I have completely lost any faith I ever had. I was blessed with Amrit 3 years ago, but when my depression started to really get me down, my Paath gradually decreased, and now I can't remember the last time I sat down to read and paath, or to recite simran or listen to kirtan. I have many distractions of which I can't escape from, and I do feel like of all times, now is that hardest for me to try to get back up. But this needs to happen now, I am now at a point where I am so numb when I am talking about all of this - I don't feel like I want to get back into Sikhi, but of course, I know I should, I know it's the only thing that can help. I really don't want to offend anyone, so if you do feel offended, I apologise, but please realise you can't understand everyone's situations and lives.

Before anyone says call so and so, talk to so and so; I have talked to a therapist, and although it is helpful in certain aspects, it doesn't help me get closer to feeling less numb, or get closer to Sikhi. I have surpassed that stage of suicidal thoughts and whatnot so please don't tell me to call sikh helpline, etc.

Everything is nothing now, I feel so weak physically and mentally. Please don't say anything about family or friends because I have no one to depend on, and this is an extremely personal journey. I don't think I have much time left before I really distance myself from Sikhi. Please advise me on what to do?

I am so sorry for such a bad attitude towards such a precious life, please forgive my mistakes, and don't take what I have said to heart.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

bhen ji ,

sorry to hear you are suffering so much, in the end we are 'alone' despite the teeming masses around us. Don't worry about the downs just like the ocean the wave has to come up again even if we cannot imagine it. 

When I was like that I would just go out for a walk in the park , for a change . for a connection to the peace of nature, to get my heart pumping (gentle exercise helps negate the cortisol and adrenaline) .  I just connected waheguru simran to my feet on the path and just lost my chattering negativity to the rhythm of my feet and naam ...

If you don't have energy for a walk just chill out in a comfy place and concentrate on your breathing , feel your heartbeat synch your naam simran to that steady thump bump ...you have an inbuilt metronome/reminder  naam is meant to sink into that spot and reside ... choose to give that space over to Waheguru ji . He knows your burdens and questions ,when you are ready to talk, ask him to guide you , take a hukamnama the love is real

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Singhni Pen Jee,

usually one reaches the stage of depression, sadness, anger, when one thinks that things do not work as per our expectations or wishes, after several repetitions of those moments, they leave a very deep impression in our minds and hearts.

You have to become strong, nobody can do anything in your aid, if you do not respond positively. 

Forget for a moment, what you are going through, and try to take an impulse and make a new start.  Karmas play a vital role in our lives; we simply do not know  when or why they strike us, but for sure, it is all settlement of karmas.

Remove all negativity from within, especially for pyare Wahiguru, have no ill thoughts for Him. Do not entertain any negativity towards Him.

You see, He knew even before you were born, what you were going to go through, due to your karmas; and inspite of all that huge  bad stock of karmas, He, out of His infinite love for you, gave you a human form, so that, inspite of all the karam seeds you have sow in your past uncountable lives, still, you could make the most of it, and with the soap of His Name and the water of His Grace, you wash and erase all your karmas, and become fit to merge in Him.

Just have a look, around yourself and see, that if you miss this blessing of Guru Jee as a human being, and fall in the lower joonees, do you think you will be at peace, where one live depends on others lives, there is only pain, suffering and agony, no mercy, there wher the law of the stronger prevails, by killing others....or for example in the vegetable kingdom, where trees are alive for several hundreds of years .... how can one ever think of Him, in any of the lower subhuman joonees?

And if one can not think of Him or do His bhakti, how can one ever attain mukti? 

Your "man" or mind is an agent of Kal Purukh, who does not want any single soul to escape from this his mayavee creation, so he has spraed the bweb of karam and maya, so that the souls keep wandering endlesslyin the cycle of births and deaths.... from one joonee to another, then also, it is by cumulative stock of good karmas during many lives, which brings us in the human form, so pen jee if one slips down willingly, then sorry to say, there are no greater fools than us... for exchanging a million dollar cheque for a handful of stones.

Wahiguru knows all about our weaknesses, but He being faithful  to His dayavan nature, He blesses us with a human life, and makes available His bhakti for us, so that we uplift our surtee from mayavee koor kaynaat, to the Aad Sach level, and merge in Him, becoming one with Him.

That also without spending any money or doing any hardships, or going to any special places.

He says, be still and repeat my holy Name with love and devotion, and I shall myself come and take you to my abode, your True everlasting Home, namely Sach Khand.

Next time your mind tries to put you down, give it hard punches by repeating Wahiguru, Wahiguru Wahiguru, in due time, it will get defeated, just do not loose hope.

Even up to your last breath, if apparently you see no progress, do not worry much, if you hold on to His name, He will pull you out, you shall not go in lower joonees.

Such is His apaar mahima.

God bless you

Sat Sree Akal.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

23 hours ago, Guest singhni said:

Sangat ji,

Generally, for the last 2 years I have been dealing with my depression. There have been ups and downs, but I have completely lost any faith I ever had. I was blessed with Amrit 3 years ago, but when my depression started to really get me down, my Paath gradually decreased, and now I can't remember the last time I sat down to read and paath, or to recite simran or listen to kirtan. I have many distractions of which I can't escape from, and I do feel like of all times, now is that hardest for me to try to get back up. But this needs to happen now, I am now at a point where I am so numb when I am talking about all of this - I don't feel like I want to get back into Sikhi, but of course, I know I should, I know it's the only thing that can help. I really don't want to offend anyone, so if you do feel offended, I apologise, but please realise you can't understand everyone's situations and lives.

Before anyone says call so and so, talk to so and so; I have talked to a therapist, and although it is helpful in certain aspects, it doesn't help me get closer to feeling less numb, or get closer to Sikhi. I have surpassed that stage of suicidal thoughts and whatnot so please don't tell me to call sikh helpline, etc.

Everything is nothing now, I feel so weak physically and mentally. Please don't say anything about family or friends because I have no one to depend on, and this is an extremely personal journey. I don't think I have much time left before I really distance myself from Sikhi. Please advise me on what to do?

I am so sorry for such a bad attitude towards such a precious life, please forgive my mistakes, and don't take what I have said to heart.

Singhni charge your batteries !

You need a change ie good company, different environment, disciplined lifestyle.

So you might wanna consider staying with Sukhmandar Singh & Sukhmandar Kaur Khalsa

https://www.airbnb.com/users/show/4647586

5ef4a6f5_original.jpg?aki_policy=x_large

db37a5c0_original.jpg?aki_policy=x_large

See Images & read more

https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/879120

Edited by singhbj singh

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Look at other options, to spend time with Sikh hosts nearby.

BOS should consider starting Bed n Breakfast short stay business or commune.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is a.common.stage. ive been.through it too. It is the complete opposite of chardi kala, and complete.opposite of optimism. I usually get into this stagnant, bored, hopeless.mindset, when I havent had contact with inspiring sangat. So first do ardaas, like a prayer, from ir heart, just lay ur problems in front of.gurusahib and.ask for help. Then go into nature, sun ( make sure ur vitamins r good, esp  vitamin D and B), try to read inspirational books like oprahs autobiography, or unlikely martyr, or sikh books, many have been translated into english. I would reccomend autobiography of bhai randhir singh, if u can read panjabi then chamatkaar by bhai vir singh. Also google raghbir singh bir, his bandginama in english is good.

If u cant make urself do that, go to a rainsabai samagam. Believe me, it will help. Also try to attend a camp, its summer time there should be loads

Or try to volunteer, when we help ppl out, we get happiness. That will make u more likely to be grateful and thank God.

Try to learn a new skill, kirtan, a new saaj, piano, guitar, dilruba. 

Basically u have to force urself and try to engage do something. When im feeling particularly numb and cant be bothered to do anything, i leave sukhmani sahib or Sarab rog ka aukhad naam shabads by Rog Nivaran on repeat playback to play outloud 24/7 in my room esp when im sleeping. Within a few days, positivity and hope become prevalent.

Also try reading inspiring stuff online, i used to read why did u choose sikhi or sikh convert stories.

 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mam i also have gone through depression. You should google khojee worldpress blog, on that site there are shabads that really help. If you live in india i can give u name ayurvedic medicenes that are prescribed by great saint Sant Jagjit Singh Harkhowal.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your content will need to be approved by a moderator

Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   You have pasted content with formatting.   Remove formatting

  Only 75 emoticons maximum are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

Loading...