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Depression and sadness after marriage


Guest Pappi
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Guest Pappi

Dear Sangat Ji,

 

I am going through much sadness in my life. I really wanted to get married when I was younger and wanted to have a happy married life.

 

Unfortunately the girl I was dating didn't want to be with my parents after marriage so I decided not to continue the relationship.

 

I ended up marrying someone from India and Sangat Ji , I was somewhat forced by all of my elders, parents, sister to marry this one girl.

 

I sponsored this girl and honestly regret it everyday, she has wanted to move out, won't help around the house. I feel somewhat depressed that I had such good intentions about marriage and didn't sleep around before marriage and now regret why I was so good. I keep praying to God for help and so far nothing has worked in my situation, but I have faith it will.

My lesson to all, is please don't force your children. I cry everyday before going to bed, I keep thinking all of this is because of my bad karma. I have had suicidal thoughts, and have trouble concentrating at woek.

I sometimes wish god takes my life early as my life is meaningless.

 

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To begin with we all are Paapi.

Only idots & thugs say that they are perfect.

Many people have a tough time adjusting after marriage so don't think you are alone.

It's better to seek advice from a marriage counsellor or get in touch with

http://www.sikhhelpline.com/contact

Put yourself in her shoes, try to understand what's bugging your wife.

Then make appropriate adjustments.

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Guest Jagsaw_Singh

If it's any consolation OP. Depression and sadness are an integral part of being married. All us married folks have got it. I mean not all the time. There's some of the most amazing family moments in life that come through being married. But sometimes.. all of us look at our other half and can't help dreaming about how great life would be if she or he was dead.

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Guest Aye Aye
5 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

Okay brother. Man the hell up! Don't be a cry-baby man. There is nothing more unappealing. 

It sounds like you haven't had kids with this women yet. If so, thank Waheguru from the deepest depths of your heart. You can get to make a clean break without having your children used to manipulate you for life.  

You have to make an assessment and not take too long in doing so. Is this marriage really unsalvageable? If so, cut your losses and end the party, get to the gym and go find yourself a next girl as soon as possible. 

There are plenty more fishes in the samundar.

Aye Aye sir?

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First of you are not a good decision maker. Your thinking is backwards. When the parents are younger as in their late 40-50 they think they are young too. That is why there is this Indian or Eastern Culture problem. Mothers think they are greater than their daughter in laws. In other terms a mother thinks the Mother F.......... <banned word filter activated> has no right to be in the same kitchen as her. When a child gets married the couple should live by themselves. When your parents are around 70 that is when they need your sewa. If you are looking for money from your parents after they die you are screwed in your head. If you want think like this or anyone else they should go back to India. They don't deserve to live in places like UK USA or Canada and some other foreign country unless of course it is a Muslim controlled country because they are like you. I been through this stuff but I was supporting my wife because of the well being of my children. My father the Authority of the family messed up my life so I not only divorced my ex but also my entire family.

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I think delete the previous message because it can be written with professional way.

Question should arise so want to live your spouse with your young parents. Parents around 40 to mid 50 marry their children off. The a son loves his mother as well as his spouse. You boys need to think do I need the family to give my spouse a hard time. Or do I need to respect my own children. Don't you boys want to be better than the older generation. A mother giving a hard to your pregnant spouse is that not going to effect your child. Are these mommies boys so brainwashed that they forgot they have a mind of their own to respect the spouse who is going to give him his children. These fetus developing in the womb have the same rights as all of us. My request to boys grow up and start to aquire these good western values.

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