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marital relation

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WJKK WJKF Ji,

I will cut to the chase. Me and my husband are both Amritdhari and we try to keep our rehat as much as we can. We have had *edited before. I want to know do we need to go pesh or is it ok in Sikhi? We would like to continue in our love but both dont know if we have done wrong. I cant find any info in terms of Gurbani (Guru Granth Sahib Ji or Dasam Bani or ithaasak reference) talking about these two actions. 

Can someone provide a genuine mature answer please. thank u.

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On 7/6/2017 at 0:46 PM, Guest hello said:

WJKK WJKF Ji,

I will cut to the chase. Me and my husband are both Amritdhari and we try to keep our rehat as much as we can. We have had *edited before. I want to know do we need to go pesh or is it ok in Sikhi? We would like to continue in our love but both dont know if we have done wrong. I cant find any info in terms of Gurbani (Guru Granth Sahib Ji or Dasam Bani or ithaasak reference) talking about these two actions. 

Can someone provide a genuine mature answer please. thank u.

Just peep silently deep into your heart, you will hear the voice of your conscience, telling you if you have done anything wrong or not.

Most of us know already what is right or not, but if ever any doubt, just remember, anything which takes you away from Wahiguru, that is "paap", that is sin, and on the contrary, anything which takes you nearer to Wahiguru, that is "punya"

Also, any karam done under the influences of the panj chor: kaam, krodh, lobh, moh and ahankar, is nothing else, but for sure bad karam, and as such, we need to ask for forgiveness from Wahiguru.

Sat Sree Akal.

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Thank you so much for the reply. How exactly are we to tell the Panj Pyare? Like what term is used? Also we did these actions while im pregnant - i feel worse now knowing we've done bad while expecting...

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2 hours ago, harsharan000 said:

Just peep silently deep into your heart, you will hear the voice of your conscience, telling you if you have done anything wrong or not.

Most of us know already what is right or not, but if ever any doubt, just remember, anything which takes you away from Wahiguru, that is "paap", that is sin, and on the contrary, anything which takes you nearer to Wahiguru, that is "punya"

Also, any karam done under the influences of the panj chor: kaam, krodh, lobh, moh and ahankar, is nothing else, but for sure bad karam, and as such, we need to ask for forgiveness from Wahiguru.

Sat Sree Akal.

This guy speaks without asking Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji.  Gurbani clearly says go to Guru or his Gurmukh ( Punj pyare) for what is allowed and what is outside of Gurmat.  They decide not like this fool says; the corrupted inner conscience.

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10 hours ago, Akalifauj said:

This guy speaks without asking Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji.  Gurbani clearly says go to Guru or his Gurmukh ( Punj pyare) for what is allowed and what is outside of Gurmat.  They decide not like this fool says; the corrupted inner conscience.

This is the most foollish and consciousless answer, can a expert in nonsense give like this poster, full of arrogance, ego and wickedness.

Verily the sign of a totally corrupted conscience.

Well what else can be expected from a cheap chap like you?

Better,  first you go to  the Guru or the panj pyare, to give you  a cure for this your chronical disease of foolishness.

 

Edited by harsharan000
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VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH

Every Amritdhari Sikh is given a Rehat when being given Amrit, and that Rehat outlines extramarital (not marital) relations as a Bujjar Kurehit.  If you were not engaged in extramarital relations (relations before marriage or with with others during marriage), then there is no restriction that is applied to you related to your marital relations.  

Yes, Gurbani does state that a Sikh should engage in worship of Akaal Purakh and seek that out as the supreme bliss, but marital relations are not forbidden (how else exactly is the majority of next generation of the Khalsa supposed to be born)? Now, if marital relations get in the way of Sikhi - Rehat, Naam Simran, Gurbani, Nitnem - then you have to look long and hard at why marital relations are compromising your Sikhi.

 

Reference from Dasam Patshah's Bani:

 

ਸੁਧਿ ਜਬ ਤੇ ਹਮ ਧਰੀ ਬਚਨ ਗੁਰ ਦਏ ਹਮਾਰੇ 
‘Since the time I realized the sense of maturity, which my Guru had taught,

 

ਪੂਤ ਇਹੈ ਪ੍ਰਨ ਤੋਹਿ ਪ੍ਰਾਨ ਜਬ ਲਗ ਘਟ ਥਾਰੇ 
“Aye My Son, so long as there is life m your body,

 

ਨਿਜ ਨਾਰੀ ਕੇ ਸਾਥ ਨੇਹੁ ਤੁਮ ਨਿਤ ਬਢੈਯਹੁ 
“You promise to enhance love with your own wife,

 

ਪਰ ਨਾਰੀ ਕੀ ਸੇਜ ਭੂਲਿ ਸੁਪਨੇ ਹੂੰ  ਜੈਯਹੁ ॥੫੧॥
“But never, even by mistake, bed with else’s wife.(51)
 
Whole verse can be found here:
https://www.sikhitothemax.org/shabad?id=9868&q=sjqh&type=0&source=D
Note:  Translation of "ਬਾਲ ਹਮਾਰੇ ਪਾਸ..."  seems wrong - Baal Hamare - (Listen) My child seems more appropriate, not "Listen Lady!".
 
 
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Thank you everyone for your replies. I appreciate everyones input. One commenter asked about me and my husband having had 'just s..e..x' - but thats just it - it was not just s...e.x.. - it is the type of s..e..x we had - specifically AS and I gave him OS. We are both willing to go Pesh - if we have done wrong then we have done wrong. we will own up and next time try to control ourselves a bit more.

1. Will Waheguru forgive me as a mum for taking part in such actions whilst carrying our baby?

2. Will Waheguru forgive us for carrying out such actions?

 

3. How should we word these actipns to the Panj Pyare?

 

Thank you all.

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In short it's still not considered a Kurehit. 

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On 12/6/2017 at 0:29 PM, Guest Original Poster said:

Thank you everyone for your replies. I appreciate everyones input. One commenter asked about me and my husband having had 'just s..e..x' - but thats just it - it was not just s...e.x.. - it is the type of s..e..x we had - specifically AS and I gave him OS. We are both willing to go Pesh - if we have done wrong then we have done wrong. we will own up and next time try to control ourselves a bit more.

1. Will Waheguru forgive me as a mum for taking part in such actions whilst carrying our baby?

2. Will Waheguru forgive us for carrying out such actions?

3. How should we word these actipns to the Panj Pyare?

 

Thank you all.

1) If we are bhoolanhaar, then He, is also Sadbhakshanhaar

2) Yes He will surely forgive, but that does not mean, after Him forgiving us, we cheat on him, and keep on repeating our mistakes again and again.

3) Talk to them straight forwardlywith humility and honesty, just as adults should do.

 

Do sincere Ardaas to Wahiguru, to give you strength,so that you may not blacken your faces again by falling shamelessly into kaam. 

You are seeing the effects by yourselves, of falling prey to kaam vaasnas, it made you fall, and now it is creating a heavy sense of guilty within you and restlesness.

Marriage does not mean, getting free license to give total freedom to kaam.

Marriage means, to have a control our kaam vaasnas, which otherwise is quite a difficult task, and means also deep respect and love for our spouse, otherwise what is the difference between us and the animals, then also, after being human beings, we are sikhs too.

So keeping Guru Jee in mind at all times, we should fulfill our relations with all, including spouses, and not degrading ourselves to those of subhuman species of lower levels of consciousness.

God bless you.

Sat Sree Akal.

 

Edited by harsharan000
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You dont need to pesh.

Pesh for following:

 

1.eating meat egg fish

2. Taking intoxicants

3. Cutting any hair

4. Sexual relations with someone not your spouse.

 

There is nothing wrong with any consensual sexual relations with your spouse.

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