love Fallen for a gursikh

[Guest Lostworrior1234]

I've been married for years. My husband and I were blessed with Amrit and have children. Our relationship isn't bad but it's never been what I've wanted. There was always somthing missing. And by accident I've met somone, a gursikh who's so bless and in turn knows the consequences of a forbidden love .  and I think I've fallen in love and they feel the same. What can I do. I don't want to live if I can't live with him. This is more than infatuation. The way I feel... I'd take the churasee lakh smiling in hopes we can be each other's in another life. 

[Guest Jacfsing2]

When I first read the title, I'll be straight honest, I thought it was coming from an unmarried person who liked a Gursikh, sadly I'm wrong.

Where I would stand is that once you married from Anand Karaj, you didn't make a promise to your spouse, but rather the light of Vaheguru, Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, the one who sits on the throne of ultimate judgment. We've forgot the idea of Isaat, but understand what your doing not only to your husband and kids, but the honor and respect of the ceremony the Guru himself made, the same light which gave his 4 sons for the Isaat, saying, "In putran ki sees paar, diye sut chaar, chaar moye to kia hua jeevad kai hazaar". 

You should seek marriage counseling, or talk to your husband about personal marriage problems, because a marriage like this will only be broken. Also respect this Gurmukh enough that he can provide the gift of purity for his future spouse, and hope that you don't pursue anything and he doesn't do anything. And you can hope for him all you want in future lives, but after you die, you will forget everything in an instant. If you want to love, give more love to your husband and talk to him about what you feel is missing, don't try going the other way, today this is becoming a big marriage problem among many people. Communication with your spouse is key.

DON'T DISHONOR THE PLEDGES YOU MADE TO GURU SAHIB!

[PokeYourPinealGland]

if you're amrithdhari, this would be an issue where you overcome your 'vikars'. what is the reason that you are so drawn to this person? do you find your husband lacking in some places that are important to you? hopefully its not a case of 'the grass is greener on the other side' but that not really being the case when you get to the other side. you need to sit with yourself first and sort out your issues of why this is even taking place, its more than just being impressed so much by another individual, obviously there is a void inside of you that you feel like he can fulfill, which in a way is also a lack of spirituality and or connection to your consciousness.

if this is something you can't control i feel like you should have a sit down with your husband and be honest with him and then move forward. without the discussion, the guilt of going behind his back would probably hurt your soul more than the love would make it feel better. 

[harsharan000]

 

First of all, hats off for the reply given to you by brotherJacfsing2 above, a good one from all angles.

Having said that, be careful Lostwarrior1234 jee, there are no perfect relations in this world, it is only when one goes through them, one sees things from a different perspective which were not forseen before.

Look at Ravan, how he lost evrything for going after another woman. Other man or woman, apart from one´s spouse, is like setting fire on dry grass, everything gets destroyed, it is a devastation of highest foolish order....

So beware. On one side you have your home, with lovely children and a good husband, and other side you have kaam, paap, on your head, for which you will surely have to pay...

You do not know what you are saying, when you say, you will gladly go to the chaurasee, with the hope of continuing gather in the next life.

Just tell me how, of  what good or helpfull is,  two sticks burning in the fire?  This is the consequence of such a dark sin.

Who says, you will get another human form for sure, when even in this one, one behaves with impurity and unfaitfulness.

Sin is darkness, and darkness leads to a fatality.

Above all, you took an oath before Guru Gee of remaining faithful the rest of your life to your spouse.

Who says, tomorrow you will not have feelings for a third man, and so on ... you see, if we keep changing our values each time when one finds a beautful lady in case of men, or a handsome man in case of women, then we are no better then beasts.

You are still on time, do not do any such thing, that you can not look face to face to Guru Jee.

Make your mind understand, that stop launching kaami temptations on you, and also pray Wahiguru with sincereity, to give you strength to overcome gracefully this your period of weakness so to say.

God bless you,

Sat Sree Akal.

 

 

[KhalistanYouth]

In the end, it is your life, take those 2 above me and what they said in consideration, because ultimately it is up to you upon this decision of the game of love.

[Guest Jacfsing2]

2 hours ago, KhalistanYouth said:

In the end, it is your life, 

If she was unmarried and she didn't have kids I would somewhat agree with you; however, this is more than just O.P. this is her entire family that will be affected just because she wants to be someone else. The concept of the symbol of husband and wife becomes meaningless, and our Gurus sacrifice for the Isaat of this Panth also becomes meaningless. We are not a communitty of swingers, cheaters, and adulterers, (I hope it hasn't come to this), but rather that communitty that would restore Isaat to others. Don't be giving these thoughts of so-called independence, but rather we should understand what a marriage is. 

She's going to ruin her own jeevan as well as everyone around her, because going down that path is pure selfishness, not love.

[kalyugi]

17 hours ago, Guest Lostworrior1234 said:

I've been married for years. My husband and I were blessed with Amrit and have children. Our relationship isn't bad but it's never been what I've wanted. There was always somthing missing. And by accident I've met somone, a gursikh who's so bless and in turn knows the consequences of a forbidden love .  and I think I've fallen in love and they feel the same. What can I do. I don't want to live if I can't live with him. This is more than infatuation. The way I feel... I'd take the churasee lakh smiling in hopes we can be each other's in another life. 

just reading this hurts me, i feel sad for the husband.

Please curb these thoughts right away, nip them in the bud, if you dwell on them they will take a larger form and then things will g out of hand.

listen to jac singh , he is on point with this one.

and cut all contact with him, even if you try to be just friends , it still wont be same.

your mind is playing tricks, beware!

you have made a vow ! dont break it please.

i hope you are just a troll and not actually a real person. 

[BhForce]

17 hours ago, Guest Lostworrior1234 said:

I've been married for years. My husband and I were blessed with Amrit and have children. Our relationship isn't bad but it's never been what I've wanted. There was always somthing missing. 

The reason you feel lukewarm towards your husband is simply that you're comparing the best aspects of someone you just met to the reality and complete personality and history of someone you've been with for maybe a decade.

When people are not married, they put their best face forward to people (both to possible romantic interests and to society in general). That's why you get a man (or a woman) saying to their wife (or husband), "Why can't you be more like X? She (or he) is so nice and kind to their spouse. Etc." Well, the reason you think they are nice to their spouse is because that's what you observe in the limited time that you spend with other people. At home, it's usually a different matter.

Just answer me this: do you ever fart (pass wind) in front of husband, or he in your presence? I'd bet he does. Now compare that to people in society. They don't pass wind in front of you. Same for this guy that you've met. The point I"m trying to make is that you only see a limited portion of his personality and real life.

When you think of this guy, you think of all the nice things he says. When you think of your husband, you think of, say, the one time he didn't get you an anniversary gift because your family was tight on money that year. When you think of your husband, you think of the car that you've been nagging him to get replaced because it breaks down sometimes. You think of times that he didn't bring all the stuff in the groceries that you had requested. You think of that one time he said something negative about your father or your brother.

Just try living with your newfound prince for not 10 years, but one year. And tell me if he's a devta (demigod), or just a normal man like the one you're married to right now.

[Akalifauj]

19 hours ago, Guest Lostworrior1234 said:

I've been married for years. My husband and I were blessed with Amrit and have children. Our relationship isn't bad but it's never been what I've wanted. There was always somthing missing. And by accident I've met somone, a gursikh who's so bless and in turn knows the consequences of a forbidden love .  and I think I've fallen in love and they feel the same. What can I do. I don't want to live if I can't live with him. This is more than infatuation. The way I feel... I'd take the churasee lakh smiling in hopes we can be each other's in another life. 

the bold says your are not a gursikh and neither is this so called perfect man you call gursikh.  No gursikh will ever go down the road this emotionally weak man has with you and I'm not talking about your husband.  Both of you are spiritually weak and are lusting after each other.  Read your last sentence, any gursikh would run the 100 mile away from such a woman like you.  Your mind is demented.  This so called gursikh you are lusting after has mutually feelings as you!!!  You both are thinking on sexual instinct.  This sexual instinct is the primitive drive of animals.  This is how animals behave.  They have no concept of commitment other than to satisfy their instinct.  No Gursikh has ever acted in this way. Every gursikh was attached to the Guru and every other relationship was seen as false.  This new generation of Sikhs seriously lack in Gurbani teachings.  This manmukh you want to marry should have broken ties from you in the first moment he found out your intentions.  But he's a ghost, and dead people behave in this manner.  If you want to save your relationship with Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji.  Break all relationships with this dead person.  But reading Sri charitoropakhyan a woman of your character will destroy the good for a second of lust and moh.    

[sikhni777]

On Wednesday, May 24, 2017 at 9:46 AM, Guest Lostworrior1234 said:

I've been married for years. My husband and I were blessed with Amrit and have children. Our relationship isn't bad but it's never been what I've wanted. There was always somthing missing. And by ac ynident I've met somone, a gursikh who's so bless and in turn knows the consequences of a forbidden love .  and I think I've fallen in love and they feel the same. What can I do. I don't want to live if I can't live with him. This is more than infatuation. The way I feel... I'd take the churasee lakh smiling in hopes we can be each other's in another life. 

You know Its wrong but you still want to do It. However think about how you will handle your children and husband after you have gotten what you want. It will be a little too late and you will realise that you slipped and will regret. Its up to you to choose to pass your test. Look at all the positive things In your present relationship and all negatives that could happen If you were In another one.