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Guest Kaur18

Depressed

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Guest Kaur18

Depressed. I feel so suicidal.  I know I shouldn't feel like this as I'm amrithdari and path and gurbani should stop this. However no aspect of my life is going right. Before I took amrith I committed some really bad sins ever since my family have not dropped what I did now I have accepted I was in the wrong I turned my life over. Since I've been amrithdari I find nothing's really going right I'm staring to loose faith I took amrith on my own decision but since I've taken it I've made some terrible mistakes, I've got into a abusive relationship with a singh who then cheated on me and ruined my future, my family look down at me as if I'm a failure and friends I have nobody to turn to. I did turn to Sikh helpline however I wouldn't ever recommend anyone turns to them as they are not confidential. I rang and Spoke to someone next thing my full gurdwara knew my problems. I'm stuck I have nobody to turn to my family are not talking to me and I'm on the edge of suicide. 

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Guest Depressed

Guru fathe ji!! 

I have tried gurbani and path I don't see anything working I heard that if you take one step to guru ji he will take million to you!! But I don't feel this, yeah I don't do my path any more I have fully lost faith... and guru kar I used to go every weekend however I've stopped going as I feel everyone just look up at you we have a group of amrithdari singhs and singhnia who talk about everyone I've heard myself them speaking of other people because of this I don't go no more every time I go I feel they just talk. I do try going to a different one but as my family go to this one they think I've dont something wrong for me not to go but really it's just every time I go I come out more stressed than i left. I will do path but even when doing path I get really emotional same with if I do go to a different gurdwara I would sit in divan and think how everything's turned out, and same get emotional.. I really need help I've had this for a long time however I've never felt this low where I'm ready to kill myself. 

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Sister,

you have stteped quite down by followig the dictates of your mind, so naturally people will take advantage of you, people are merciless.
I am not condemning you, just making you aware, that when one is young and growing up, one should trust our true guardians, our parents, and not hide anything from them.

If one is under their shelter, no power can harm us, the Lord works gracefully through them. Talk to them looking at their face directly, with love and express your helplesness, they will surely help you to come out, but then follow implicitly whatever their advice is given to you, and along with that do Ardaas to pyaare bakshanhaar Waheguru, to help you come out.

You see our destiny is not created by the shoes we wear, but by the steps we take ... so keeping this premise in mind, that your actual condition is by your wrong steps, you can all the same, reverse this present situation of yours, by taking the right steps, which is follow the advice in case of doubts of what is good or bad, of the virtous ones.

God bless you.

Sat Sree Akal.

Edited by harsharan000
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You need professional help. Go to your doctor. Nobody's helped me on here as I'm going through the same, they say to share your dukh and when I did, he ignored me and given me silent treatment as if I should feel guilty for going through a bad time. 

I'm advising you to get professional help when you have nobody. Because the same people advising you on here, turn their back on somebody needs the help when they ask for it. 

Waheguru will help you, just keep faith and mera vi bhalla kare, because they are the only one you have, dunia is matlab di, especially people you think are respectable on here, but then push you further to negativity. Certain ones are helpful on the main, but in pms they just cut you off for no reason. Hope they can see what they did, and be ashamed of themselves when I need the help too, but use people for likes only. 

Edited by simran345
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Guest Depression

I have been to my doctor however all they have gave me is depression tablets which I did used to take but didn't have an affect. People say it's all about sangat I think I would have been fine and ok if I wasn't in this situation if I had sangat i have friends don't get me wrong but they are ghora kala, where I'm from yeah there is hardly any Sikhs but the ones that are here are big headed they feel they are bigger than everyone and better. how can a person even get out this state if nothing's going right family education relationship, loosing faith?? I've lost hope in everything sometimes I even wish I was better off not being amrithdari.. I know I shouldn't think like this but I really need help? I'm a turning point I'm scared I will do something as I'm that broken.. 

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7 hours ago, Guest Depression said:

I have been to my doctor however all they have gave me is depression tablets which I did used to take but didn't have an affect. People say it's all about sangat I think I would have been fine and ok if I wasn't in this situation if I had sangat i have friends don't get me wrong but they are ghora kala, where I'm from yeah there is hardly any Sikhs but the ones that are here are big headed they feel they are bigger than everyone and better. how can a person even get out this state if nothing's going right family education relationship, loosing faith?? I've lost hope in everything sometimes I even wish I was better off not being amrithdari.. I know I shouldn't think like this but I really need help? I'm a turning point I'm scared I will do something as I'm that broken.. 

They should have offered you counselling aswell. Ask for a referral for counselling. 

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Jis Kaa Saas N Kaadtath Aap ||
 
Those whose breath of life He Himself does not take away
 
Thaa Ko Raakhath Dhae Kar Haathh ||

He preserves them, and holds out His Hands to protect them.

 
Akalpurakh has kept you alive so he's going to provide, preserve & protect you.
Have faith and Jap Naam.
 
Put on your headphones & sing along
 
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Guest Guest

WJKK WJKF 

Pehnji, firstly I am so sorry to hear you are going through this feeling. 

As people have said to keep with your paath, I must agree this is very important. I understand you feel it is not helping but please, keep faith in Guruji. Although I am a young adult, I have learnt that keeping your faith in Guruji will definitely help you. Do not care about what others say (easier said than done I know), but if fellow Sikh brothers and sisters are talking about you then they themselves are in the wrong for doing so and they shall have to answer to our Guru when the time comes. 

Guruji will take steps towards you, infact He already is, you just cannot see this yet. There are many other Sikh organisations out there that offer support. I would say try any of them regardless of what age they are targeted towards because at the end of the day they are here to help us! Please please please talk to someone, anyone about this and do not be afraid to. If you cannot go to your local gurdwara, go somewhere else and ask someone there to help you! You do it have to battle this alone. You are the child of Guru Gobind Singh Ji, never forget that. You are stronger than you believe you are. You will get through this battle. I shall do ardaas to Guruji for you, but please try to get out of the suicidal mindset, like I said you are stronger than you think! Keep praying and having faith. 

I hope this helped in some way, and forgive me if I made any mistakes. 

WJKK WJKF. 

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Be strong bhenji . Taking amrit will not miraculously change your situation but atleast now you're a daughter of guru ji . He's always with you. I feel sad about how the sangat helpline betrayed you but I am sure not everyone is like this.

May I know why your family looks down on you just because you got cheated ? Shouldn't they be helping you instead ? Did you marry with that sikh man against wishes of your family ? Keep with the simran though. It does wonders though , trust me. 

Also please look at traditional healing resources like psychologist , picking a sport or just jogging. You will find many stories of people who had heavy depression but something as simple as running healed them.

Waheguru ji bhali karega . Himmat naa haaro tussi 

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You should go to gurudwara and talk to guruji. Guruji is alive and will listen to all your problems. Take a hukamnama. Also you say path and gurbani hasnt helped you and you also say i dont do path or gurbani. Please, even modern medicine and pills take some time to have effect. And they solve minor problems. Your problems are big, so time will be needed to solve them. Keep doing paath and gurbani. Even if they dont have immediate effect. Keep doing, keep trying, don't give up. You want to solve your problems, then be ready to try , to keep making effort. You are an amritdhari, that doesnt mean life is easier for you or that God loves you better. Being amritdhari means saying I am more committed and more of a hard worker and more disciplined.and willing to go farther than other people before giving up.

 

Watch this for hukamnama inspiration:

Also here are some ppl helped by hukamnama: this girl.was even abused by her family and she found help so u can too:

 

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Guest Depressed
1 hour ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

You should go to gurudwara and talk to guruji. Guruji is alive and will listen to all your problems. Take a hukamnama. Also you say path and gurbani hasnt helped you and you also say i dont do path or gurbani. Please, even modern medicine and pills take some time to have effect. And they solve minor problems. Your problems are big, so time will be needed to solve them. Keep doing paath and gurbani. Even if they dont have immediate effect. Keep doing, keep trying, don't give up. You want to solve your problems, then be ready to try , to keep making effort. You are an amritdhari, that doesnt mean life is easier for you or that God loves you better. Being amritdhari means saying I am more committed and more of a hard worker and more disciplined.and willing to go farther than other people before giving up.

 

Watch this for hukamnama inspiration:

Also here are some ppl helped by hukamnama: this girl.was even abused by her family and she found help so u can too:

 

When I first took amrith I did path all the time all my banis when things started getting tough I started loosing faith so stopped that's what I mean I did used to I still do just not as much as when I first took amrith!! But from the comments on here I think my only solution is guru ji I will be changing a lot and i was in a place where I was at my lowest like u said it takes time and it will. 

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Guest Depressed
9 hours ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

Be strong bhenji . Taking amrit will not miraculously change your situation but atleast now you're a daughter of guru ji . He's always with you. I feel sad about how the sangat helpline betrayed you but I am sure not everyone is like this.

May I know why your family looks down on you just because you got cheated ? Shouldn't they be helping you instead ? Did you marry with that sikh man against wishes of your family ? Keep with the simran though. It does wonders though , trust me. 

Also please look at traditional healing resources like psychologist , picking a sport or just jogging. You will find many stories of people who had heavy depression but something as simple as running healed them.

Waheguru ji bhali karega . Himmat naa haaro tussi 

Because one helpline betrayed me I wouldn't ever trust any other one!! My family - I left univirsity when It all happened I wasn't married to him but it was an open relationship, my mum didn't like him he wasn't born from uk and had a past but because I went through depression I left uni and came back home now I'm doing nothing with my life I do plan to turn it around but I have no motivation at the moment. That's the reason she looks down I have sisters and they are in uni doing high degrees and I'm sat at home doing nothing. I'm not saying everything is bad I've started back on the vajja to change things but all I wish is I had sangat the sangat from where I'm from don't talk if anything they talk about you.. 

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3 hours ago, Guest Depressed said:

Because one helpline betrayed me I wouldn't ever trust any other one!! My family - I left univirsity when It all happened I wasn't married to him but it was an open relationship, my mum didn't like him he wasn't born from uk and had a past but because I went through depression I left uni and came back home now I'm doing nothing with my life I do plan to turn it around but I have no motivation at the moment. That's the reason she looks down I have sisters and they are in uni doing high degrees and I'm sat at home doing nothing. I'm not saying everything is bad I've started back on the vajja to change things but all I wish is I had sangat the sangat from where I'm from don't talk if anything they talk about you.. 

Im glad you are trying :) keep it up. Its great that you are learning kirtan. Sing your heart out. Let the tears flow, let the pain out through kirtan. Be lighter, happier. Wat happened, happened. Think about the future now. Wat do you want in it? And strive towards that. Like if you want to be independent, maybe start looking for a job, even a small, minor one. If you want to be strong and relaxed, start yoga or exercising or meditation. If u want to be happy, go walk in nature. If u want better friends or sangat, try to meet new people

Everything you try, might not work out, but thats ok. You try different things and keep going, keep plodding on. You will see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Its sad that your current sangat isnt positive. But anything thats not positive, do not associate with it. Make guruji your sangat and support, your sahara. 

Keep on trying 😊 and remember to do a heartfelt ardaas. Where you tell guruji all your problems, you cry to him and beg for help. He is kindness, he will help. Keep faith, keep doing ardaas, keep trying.

 

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Guest real talk

a lot of the people here a living in a straight bubble cuckoo world. you need to get into the right frame of mind.

The best solution for you is go to Harmandir Sahib stay in Guru ram das ji's sharn even if it is only for one week. This will change you. Now I know people will start saying 'well guru sahib is the same here etc' however Harmandir sahib is harmandir sahib full stop.

go there Have full kesi ishnaan every day and do ardas to guru sahib. when you are there do seva, listen to kirtan and do what you enjoy doing as per gurmat. you'll find that this will have a very positive effect on your outlook on life.

one important thing... do not speak to anyone when you are there, consider your time valuable and appreciate it.

In addition I know it may be hard for you to do this as you are female so it is probably best you go with somebody from here…..your mum?

 

Plus get a grip, what will committing suicide achieve? close to folk all. its not like your going to be sitting in heaven eating grapes after committing such an act.

 

these situations can be very challenging but you can only ever go two ways, forwards or backwards. If you go backwards you'll be a weak person and won't ever stand up to challenges, if however you stand up to this it will make you stronger and this experience will cause you to excel through life.

 

Take Guru Ram Das Ji's example..............they lost everything at a young age they were an orphan who used to live with their Grandmother and they used to sell a snack in the market to survive..................the sodhi family used to throw insults to Guru sahib claiming that he will ruin their family name, lineage etc...............

but look at the greatness of Mahraaj and Sikhi, today maya is serving Guru Ram Das's darbar and the greatness of Guru Ram das Ji is being realised the world over.

 

So

 

Go to Harmandir Sahib, Guru Ram Das ji will uplift you.

 

 

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