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Not Sardar Jokes : Stand-Up Comedy by Vikramjit Singh


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Socio-Economic classification simplified :));):))

 

Lower class - Biskut
Middle class - Biskit
Upper class - Cookies

Lower class - Roomal
Middle class - Hankie
Upper class - Kerchief

Lower class - tamaatar
Middle class - Ta'may'to
Upper class - Toh'mah'toh

Lower class - Sauce
Middle class - Ketchup
Upper Class - Toh'mah'toh dip

Lower class - Lifafa
Middle class - En've'lope
Upper class - On'vo'lup

Lower class - Nimbu Paani/Shikanji
Middle class - Lemonade
Upper class - Virgin Mojito

Lower class - Jean pyant
Middle class - Jeans
Upper class - Denims

Lower class - Chasma
Middle class - Goggles
Upper class - Shades

Lower class - chaddi
Middle class - underwear
Upper class - lawn-juh-Ray

Lower class : Do cutting chai leke aa bé Pintu.
Middle class : Can I have two cups of tea.
Upper class : May I have two chai lattes please. Regular.


Lower class::rofl:rofl:rofl
Middle class::p:p:p
Upper class::):):)

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Husband Di Saza

Husband Naal Ladai Karn Ton Baad, Tivi Ne Apni Maa Nu Phone Kitta: Mummy Osne Fer Mere Naal Ladai Kitti E, Main Tuade Kol Aa Rahi Han...

Maa: Na Putt Na, Ohnu Ohdi, Galati Di Keemat Chukaani Pavegi,
Tu Na Aa, Main Aa Jaani Aa Tere Kol...

 

 

Husband Wife Problem

Wife: Oh Sweet Heart, Tusi Kinne Pyare Ho? Meri Photo Hamesha Apne Naal-Naal Rakhte Ho? I Love You...

Husband: Jad Vi Koi Problem Aundi Hai, Main Tuhadi Photo Dekh Lenda Han, Te Problem Solve Ho Jandi Hai.

Wife: So nice, Tusi Dekhya Main Tuhade Layi Kinni, Lucky Han?

Husband: Jee Bilkul, Jad Vi Koi Problem Hundi Ae, Tuhadi Photo Dekh Ke Menu Oh Problem Vi Nikki Jehi Lagdi Hai, Sochda Han Ke Jad Aidi Problem Nu Jhalda Han, Eh Tan Kujh Vi Nhi...

 

 

Aalu Bhindi SMS Joke

 
1 Aalu Ne Bhindi K Number Pe I Love U Ka Msg Beja,

Bhindi Ne Use Phone Kar K Bura Bhala Kaha Aur Boli,

Shut Up, Tum Itne Mote Aur Main Slim And Smart,

Aalu Ko Bahut Dukh Hua Aur Us Ne Phir Itni Sabziyan Fasaayi Ki Aaj Aap
Dekh Skte Ho,

Aalu-Ghobi,

Aalu- Bengan,

Aalu-Shimla Mirch,

Aalu-Palak,

Aalu-Matar,

Aalu-Gajar

Aur Bindhi Us Din Se Aaj Tak Akeli H,
Moral: Mat Kar Itna Gurur Surat Par Ae Haseena.

 

 

Son and Papa

 
Son : Papa 10+10 Kine Hunde Ae?
Papa : Ghade, Kanjra , Ullu De Pathe, Nalayak, Haramkhor,
Tenu Kuch Nhi Aunda Ja Andron Calculator Le Ke Aa.
 
 
 
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Internet Se Download

 
Wife to Husband: Tumhe Pyar Karna Nahi Aata.
Husband: To Kya Ye Bachhe Internet Se Download Kiye Hain???
Wife: Nahi Eh Tan Singh Sahab De Pen Drive To Litte Ne.
 
 

Kash Main Mobile Hunda

 
Kudi Bust Stop Te Khadi, Mobile Te Gallan Kar Rahi Si,
Boy ohnu Comment karda hai: Haye! Kash main mobile hunda, teriyan Gaallan (chicks) naal lagya hunda...
Kudi: Haan, fer main ghar jaa ke charger teri *$%*& ch laundi...
 
 

Rabb ne tiwi nu

 
Rabb ne tiwi nu sunder banaya
Khoobsurat dimaag vi diya
Hirni jehi aakhan deyi
Gulab jehe honth
Pyar bharya dil ditta
Te fer Jubaan deke sab te pani fer ditta...
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  • 2 weeks later...

Maakhan ki shaadi ke 3 mahine baad hee bacha ho gaya.

 

Maakhan -- Yeh 3 mahine mein bacha kaise ho gaya ?
Wife - Aapki shaadi ko kitna time hua ?
Maakhan - 3 mahine.
Wife - Aur meri shaadi ko kitna time hua ?
Maakhan - 3 mahine.
Wife - Aur bacha kitne time baad hua ?
Maakhan- 3 mahine baad.
Wife - Total kitna hua ?
.
Maakhan - Oh ! Jaanu, 9 mahine ho gaye....Time kaa pataa hee nahi chala..

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  • 3 weeks later...

PROBLEM SOLVED

 

Teacher wrote on the board,
36x + yx, 2/3yx + 3x (66y + 12x).b =0.
He turned to Pappu and said, "Solve the problem."

 Pappu picked the duster, cleaned the board and said, "Problem solved!
???...
Some of our problems require such solutions..

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