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Suicide

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Guest Kaur

I am a young girl who took Amrit recently, I feel like I was pressured and forced into it, I know I could've said no but it was more of a blackmail/love reason. I know I'm only to blame for this but why would Maharaj allow me to take Amrit if they knew I wasn't ready for it? Yes now I do live in rehat don't commit any bujjar kreths but I find it so hard. I did it because I thought I loved a boy and he pressured me into it being Amrit Dhari himself. The boy started hitting me and abusing me and speaking/ meeting several different girls, I couldn't do anything about it because I felt like I had changed for him and I felt like I was stuck with him I feel like I've been groomed in my own religion. Ive lost all my friends and hardly speak to any family (I study so I live out for university), because they know this person isn't good for me. I feel at such a low point in my life and I feel so alone, I thought taking Amrit was meant to uplift someone and make them happy. I'm at a stage in life where I don't even know if I believe in god and feel very suicidal. I just don't know what to do any more I have no one. 

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Guest Mani

Taking amrit means to be deathless. To have no attachment to the physical world. It doesn't mean not having any problems

unfortunately you took it for an abusive man. Your intentions were good.  What you're going through is abuse. Separate your lack of faith from the way he is treating you. And how you're feeling from what Sikhi really is.

Talk to a therapist. Hitting and abusing women is disgusting. If you look at his family, and interactions somewhere down the line you will find abuse and a dysfunctional upbringing. Forget him  taking amrit, that's all drama. 

Another thing these religious people do is guilt others. Concentrate on yourself.

 

 

 

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9 hours ago, Guest Kaur said:

I am a young girl who took Amrit recently, I feel like I was pressured and forced into it, I know I could've said no but it was more of a blackmail/love reason. I know I'm only to blame for this but why would Maharaj allow me to take Amrit if they knew I wasn't ready for it? Yes now I do live in rehat don't commit any bujjar kreths but I find it so hard. I did it because I thought I loved a boy and he pressured me into it being Amrit Dhari himself. The boy started hitting me and abusing me and speaking/ meeting several different girls, I couldn't do anything about it because I felt like I had changed for him and I felt like I was stuck with him I feel like I've been groomed in my own religion. Ive lost all my friends and hardly speak to any family (I study so I live out for university), because they know this person isn't good for me. I feel at such a low point in my life and I feel so alone, I thought taking Amrit was meant to uplift someone and make them happy. I'm at a stage in life where I don't even know if I believe in god and feel very suicidal. I just don't know what to do any more I have no one. 

Remember this, you are not alone. God is with you and you have to put your trust in them. You took Amrit as you were in love with that boy, but you should have took it for the love of God. Instead of loving him as much as you did or still do, you need to let go and transfer that love to Waheguru and to yourself. Leave it to God to deal with, don't worry about whether there is a God or not, you need to relax. 

You're intelligent, educated girl who will be more confident and strong to deal with bad times, when you get help and trust yourself. Don't underestimate yourself. 

Why have you lost your friends? Just because of him, there's no need to isolate yourself from others. Speak to them and your family. As it's causing you so much stress and hurt, you need to get rid of the relationship you have with him and only focus on your studies and be happy within yourself is important. 

You will not do anything silly, everything will be ok. Please  calm down, relax, all will be ok. 

Contact Sikhhelpline and tell them the same thing you've written on here. You really need to talk to somebody that will help you professionally. 

http://www.sikhhelpline.com/

https://m.facebook.com/sikhhelpline/?locale2=en_GB

You can also approach your doctor, don't be afraid, nobody will judge you. 

 

 

Edited by simran345
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2 hours ago, singhbj singh said:

Not appropriate or relevant in this situation. She's not feeling blue or slightly under the weather for unknown biological or physiological reasons. Her reasons are specific and immediate. Giving her a link to a worthless fluff piece in the lifestyle section of a newspaper's website is hilariously bad form.

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Guest Kaur

Where do I find help I don't want to go to Sikh helpline or SAS because everyone knows everyone.. and I know I will probably end up reaching help from someone I know. It's just a dead end I feel like there's no one that can help without it being a 'besthi' or it getting out. 

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Guest Jacfsing2

I'm not going to start by saying all that SJW weak stuff that people usually say, like, "Oh, don't worry it's not your fault, it's his fault, nothing wrong with you,", (Someone will probably say that to you, and let me say it's plain useless). But what I will say is despite your short-comings, Vaheguru won't judge you, if you feel you were wronged, that's up to Vaheguru to decide. 

But yes, if you did any of the 4 Kurehits you'd have to pesh. And you seem like the only reason you didn't say no was because you were shy and that's not an excuse. These 4 are in no particular order and intentionally:

1. Kesh-Di-Beadbi

2. Eating NON-Jhatka meat, (no one make the useless argument right now)

3. Intoxicants

4. Carnal Sexual relations outside marriage, (and no one argue what this means either). 

Understand that the Punj Pyare can forgive you, and that Guru Sahib can take your hand back, there's no need to give your life for something like this, dedicate your life for Seva is a better alternative, you'll help so many people.

4 hours ago, singhbj singh said:

Feeling suicidal is not a I'm not feeling super elated chardi-kala, it's a much more extreme emotion, it's a I'm going to finish my life right now, unless some miracle happens, type of emotion.

Suicidal to depression to like comparing a human to a monkey, they both are primates, the both have brains, they both have 2 legs and 2 arms, but ONE is the command of the other, (humans own monkeys, and monkeys don't own humans).

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2 hours ago, Jacfsing2 said:

But yes, if you did any of the 4 Kurehits you'd have to pesh.

Why are you saying this? I think maybe you didn't read her post carefully. She specifically said she is in rehat and didn't commit any bajjar kurehits:

16 hours ago, Guest Kaur said:

Yes now I do live in rehat don't commit any bujjar kreths but I find it so hard.

 The problem is she finds the Rehit hard, not that she broke it.

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Guest Jacfsing2
5 minutes ago, BhForce said:

Why are you saying this? I think maybe you didn't read her post carefully. She specifically said she is in rehat and didn't commit any bajjar kurehits:

 The problem is she finds the Rehit hard, not that she broke it.

I read exactly what she said, and she said "now", she lives in Rehat and doesn't commit Bhujer Kurehits. If she didn't say that word, I would have less doubts on what she wrote. Also the message I'm trying to get across isn't going for Pesh, rather to stop feeling suicidal. A Sikh life is not one that comes easily, it comes through lots of high karma, (even legendary karma is not equal to the blessing of knowing Guru Sahib),  and Gur-prassad. Death should be something we are always prepared for, and ready to die is something we should do, but ending your life like she claims here is not healthy nor respected.

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Guest Kaur
3 minutes ago, Jacfsing2 said:

I read exactly what she said, and she said "now", she lives in Rehat and doesn't commit Bhujer Kurehits. If she didn't say that word, I would have less doubts on what she wrote. Also the message I'm trying to get across isn't going for Pesh, rather to stop feeling suicidal. A Sikh life is not one that comes easily, it comes through lots of high karma, (even legendary karma is not equal to the blessing of knowing Guru Sahib),  and Gur-prassad. Death should be something we are always prepared for, and ready to die is something we should do, but ending your life like she claims here is not healthy nor respected.

Sorry I meant to say I haven't committed a bujjar Kreth since I took Amrit, if I wasn't ready why would Maharaj allow me to take it, knowing I used to cut my hair eat meat etc up to the day before I took Amrit? Honestly speaking I was so much happier before this even normal? This guy has mentally and physically tourmented me, I honestly thought my life would get better after taking it and now I'm just losing faith. 

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6 hours ago, Jacfsing2 said:

I read exactly what she said, and she said "now", she lives in Rehat and doesn't commit Bhujer

Hmm.

22 hours ago, Guest Kaur said:

I know I'm only to blame for this but why would Maharaj allow me to take Amrit if they knew I wasn't ready for it? Yes now I do live in rehat don't commit any bujjar kreths but I find it so hard. I did it because I thought I loved a boy and he pressured me into it being Amrit Dhari himself.

I read that as saying "I wasn't truly ready for Amrit. Why did Guru ji allow this? Now (meaning after taking Amrit), I live in rehat and don't commit bajjer kurehits, but it's still so hard. I did it (taking Amrit) because I loved a boy (mentally, not physically) and he pressured me into taking Amrit".

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Guest Jacfsing2
7 hours ago, Guest Kaur said:

Sorry I meant to say I haven't committed a bujjar Kreth since I took Amrit, if I wasn't ready why would Maharaj allow me to take it, knowing I used to cut my hair eat meat etc up to the day before I took Amrit? Honestly speaking I was so much happier before this even normal? This guy has mentally and physically tourmented me, I honestly thought my life would get better after taking it and now I'm just losing faith. 

Life probably was happier for you, but the problem is you are taking this guy as a result of Amrit, when they are both seperate things. Life is very precious, and if you were to end it, how would it affect your loved ones? Amrit is not a chance to free yourselves fron your problems what it is, is that Guru Sahib will hold your hand with your problems. Have you tried talking to a counselor or a close friend or family member to discuss your problems? 

I don't like the whole, "You only live once", but this is the only chance you have to have all your memories and everyone dear to you. Don't give-up life on something because one person did something.

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Guest Bhaenjee

Bhaenjee screw this guy. Speak to 

http://www.sikhhelpline.com

 

They have CONFIDENTIAL professionals that can help you. They will sort this stupid tosser who is giving you grief. He dont own you. You are your own person. Tell him to f*** off. This retard is nothing. You are a beautiful innocent sister who will one day graduate with great marks and eventually have a wicked family and kids to look after. You have a future. Go for a walk outside in the sun. Look at the beautiful nature around you. THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN THIS STUPID MAN. Ring your mum, dad and brothers and explaon to them that a guy is giving you grief. I gurantee your dad and brother will come and sort him out. This <banned word filter activated> dont deserve you. If you kill yourself you will never be able to experience the freedom and love you will have in the future away from this sociopath.

Well done for coming on this forum asking for help. You aint alone. We here for you.

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That guy's a blot on all amritdhari sikhs. But please do not kill yourself over this <banned word filter activated>.

And never should one take amrit for any reason except spiritual.  Can you confide about this situation with your family ? 

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