Jacfsing2

Wasting Time?

34 posts in this topic

25 minutes ago, imhosingh said:

Ok I'll keep this brief. Your brain / mind can be split into two 'realms' the human bit (compassion, appreciates birds singing, is reasonable , mulls over things based on evidence ...All that good stuff), then you have the older realm of the brain that has been with humans since they were fish, it's called the reptilian brain (deals with primitive urges, looks for danger, reproduction, self preservation etc). Now that part of the brain is about 5x stronger than your human side (but it's transitory/short term). So for example if a bus is coming towards you the reptilian brain kicks in and makes you move, adrenaline release , then the dopamine rush after to reward taking action. The human side of your brain likes to understand what's happening before taking an action, so it's a bit useless in such situations. 

In the modern world with kaam stimulus everywhere (triggers) you have a bit of a problem as this mechanism is kicking off a lot (kaam is needed for reproduction at an animalistic level). When you masterbate to stimulus you are getting a rush, then the dopamine hit, which is addictive and the more you do it the stronger those connections become in your mind (bit like when you see well worn paths in grass in the park). So over time you get stimulus the brain reacts in the same way. The guilt stuff you feel is from the 'human' side which makes you feel sad, and guess what your previous actions gave you a dopamine rush which made you feel good for a bit, so hey presto your guilt in a way veers you towards doing what you don't want to do again, as you want to feel good right?

So how do you break this chain of events? Well realise a few things , if you are young then there are lots of hormones rushing around plus from a biological 'animal' point of view, your mind just wants to reproduce. When you feel the urge 'go easy' on yourself (this breaks the guilt cycle), if you indulge don't beat yourself up. When you feel the trigger or 'urge' you need to divert the mind. Would you continue to do what you were going to do if a bus was coming towards you? When kaam, krodh etc come to fore, notice how your mind goes into tunnel vision , so the thing to do is divert. From experience , a good comedy video or reading about acts of compassion divert the mind (and release those hormones such as dopamine ) in the brain. The key is not to guilt trip yourself and find a diversion that works for you.

A good anology of this 'dance' is imagine yourself as a lightweight boxer (great endurance not much ko power) up against a heavyweight (not much endurance but maybe 5x stronger ūüėČ). Would you go straight at them in round one and try and ko them, and then have a guilt trip over being punched hard and ko'd? Or would the clever boxer dance around the ring and aim to get the heavyweight tired so they give up in later rounds? You might get a few whacks but in the end you will win as long as you play to your strengths.

Hope this helps , there are plenty of books out there about how the brain works , things like the chimp paradox and newer books on brain plasticity. The key is to break the 'guilt' feelings the action doesn't become a 'thing' which then makes it easier to overcome.

Did you post this in the wrong topic? I was asking about a general internet addiction/wasting my time, (though I did have a masturbation thread a really long time ago, this is not related whatsoever with that).

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On 17 April 2017 at 4:41 PM, Jacfsing2 said:

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh! How to control wasting time on useless stuff and focus on building productivity in Gurmat or personal things? Sometimes, I genuinely feel like I could do something so much more; however, it all gets wasted away in stuff that I don't really need or think other people need, (this website being one example, where it just seems like debates and nobody really learns anything). Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Waheguru ji ka khalsa 

Waheguru ji ki fateh 

I think you should train for American Ninja Warriors.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Ninja_Warrior

No Sikh/Sardar has ever been on show.

It would be great for PR & you can win half a million dollars !

Waheguru ji ka khalsa 

Waheguru ji ki fateh 

 

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7 hours ago, singhbj singh said:

Waheguru ji ka khalsa 

Waheguru ji ki fateh 

I think you should train for American Ninja Warriors.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Ninja_Warrior

No Sikh/Sardar has ever been on show.

It would be great for PR & you can win half a million dollars !

Waheguru ji ka khalsa 

Waheguru ji ki fateh 

One, I'm too young for that show amd second I don't like the whole idea of attention and trying to win some popularity contest. (I was once popular in school, and for the whole year, people would bug me on something that happened the previous year). But working out for my own benefit is something I can easily do.

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Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh! I will try to seriously limit how much internet time I use to be more effective. If for some reason this is my last post for a long time, then that's the reason why, the reason is to better myself, because I feel technology has taken a lot of influence on me, and I need to limit it by a lot. Trying to cut this habit will be hard, but thanks to everyone's advice here, I'll try to improve myself. Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

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On 17/4/2017 at 3:18 PM, Jacfsing2 said:

I know it's not right; that's why I'm trying to ask for assistance. At the Gurdwara, I wouldn't dare take my phone out, but outside of that I'm nearly lost into it. For the last few days Guru Sahib hasn't blessed me with a strong Amrit Vela, and now I'm assuming I did something wrong, (I'm assuming it's exactly this thing). 

Brother,

I would never blame Guru Sahiban for not blessing with a strong Amrit  Vela as you say.

You see, apart from akhoot Daya Meher and Pyaar, there is nothing which Guru Jee has more.

Why will He not want us to get up at Amerit Vela and do our paath, bhajan bandagee, or whatever one does regularly as per bhakti.

The fault is within us. 

Who obliges us to stay at such late or so many hours on the internet or maya? 

Of course nobody. If ever anyone or anything, then surely it is our mind, the agent of Kal within us.

We all know, what we should do or not, but our will power is weak. 

It is all about how important we see the world and its pull on us, or, be a true sikh and keep Guru Jee¬īs¬† Hukum above everything.

This means, first Wahiguru, then if any time left, live in the world, but not to go that much deep in it, that Wahiguru becomes secondary.

He is so Dayalu, that each and every day, He gives us new chances to improve and become better sikhs, but we neglect them, then blame Him. When the fact is, He keeps us giving chances after chances....

Sat Sree Akal.

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On 5/1/2017 at 7:07 PM, Jacfsing2 said:

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh! I will try to seriously limit how much internet time I use to be more effective. If for some reason this is my last post for a long time, then that's the reason why, the reason is to better myself, because I feel technology has taken a lot of influence on me, and I need to limit it by a lot. Trying to cut this habit will be hard, but thanks to everyone's advice here, I'll try to improve myself. Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

So far I've been improving. I wish that it would be easy, but nothing should be too easy. Tried to find other ways to use time, but still very hard to be effective.

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25 minutes ago, Jacfsing2 said:

So far I've been improving. I wish that it would be easy, but nothing should be too easy. Tried to find other ways to use time, but still very hard to be effective.

Join the club. Have you got a separate diary for your tasks, things to do and events? You could also keep a record of your internet progression in the diary. I normally put things in there, so that means don't have to put everything on my phone. Or get a planner and keep it on the desk, organiser board on the wall also help. 

 

Edited by simran345
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13 hours ago, simran345 said:

Join the club. Have you got a separate diary for your tasks, things to do and events? You could also keep a record of your internet progression in the diary. I normally put things in there, so that means don't have to put everything on my phone. Or get a planner and keep it on the desk, organiser board on the wall also help. 

 

I haven't got a seperate diary yet, but was planning to.

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