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Jacfsing2

Wasting Time?

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Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh! How to control wasting time on useless stuff and focus on building productivity in Gurmat or personal things? Sometimes, I genuinely feel like I could do something so much more; however, it all gets wasted away in stuff that I don't really need or think other people need, (this website being one example, where it just seems like debates and nobody really learns anything). Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

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2 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

Cut off internet access.

Any other assistance, (though that's a bit hard since I've become some internet addict).

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17 minutes ago, Jacfsing2 said:

Any other assistance, (though that's a bit hard since I've become some internet addict).

Put a time limit on your internet router so that you're only able to have access during set hours. Give the password to a parent so you aren't tempted to change the settings when you experience withdrawal symptoms. It'll enforce structure and discipline, allowing you to focus on other things, and not wile away the day on the internet. Also, when you wake up in the morning, is the first thing you do is reach for your phone? Stop that. This site won't make you a better Sikh. That type of growth occurs when you're living a full, productive life. Internet life is not anything of value. Yes, it's a learning tool when used positively, otherwise it's a prime enabler of procrastination. 

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5 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

Also, when you wake up in the morning, is the first thing you do is reach for your phone? 

Sometimes I have this habit of waking-up Amrit Vela, getting my phone and while that doing "Vaheguru, Vaheguru" simran. I really don't understand why.

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5 minutes ago, Jacfsing2 said:

Sometimes I have this habit of waking-up Amrit Vela, getting my phone and while that doing "Vaheguru, Vaheguru" simran. I really don't understand why.

That doesn't sound healthy at all. It's too easy to get sucked into a destructive and addictive internet routine. You're trying to convince yourself you're doing Naam Jap whilst your surti is engrossed in the contents of your screen. That's not genuine, man, that's just taking the mick. 

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5 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

That doesn't sound healthy at all. It's too easy to get sucked into a destructive and addictive internet routine. You're trying to convince yourself you're doing Naam Jap whilst your surti is engrossed in the contents of your screen. That's not genuine, man, that's just taking the mick. 

I know it's not right; that's why I'm trying to ask for assistance. At the Gurdwara, I wouldn't dare take my phone out, but outside of that I'm nearly lost into it. For the last few days Guru Sahib hasn't blessed me with a strong Amrit Vela, and now I'm assuming I did something wrong, (I'm assuming it's exactly this thing). 

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Don't know if this will help to break the cycle in the morning but instead of waking and reaching , wake and do shukrana di ardas after a little nam jap for the new day you've been given. Taking this beautiful boon in mind start with dedicating it to Akal Purakh and starting it the right way by doing darshan of Guru ji first before anything else (reading gurbani) . Good luck with the battle , remember Guru ji is sada ang sang

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I started sehaj path on phone with reading meanings too. I get so engrossed in meanings that I don't need to chat. Former internet addict. 

For any bad habit set a five or ten minute alarm. Stop when alarm goes and set an hours alarm for your good habit and discipline yourself to follow it. 

Edited by sikhni777
adding info
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3 minutes ago, luckysingh99 said:

Just power the damned phone off at set time every night. Don't turn it on until you are in some other part of the house or room the next day. Say, you could leave it in the kitchen and don't switch it on until you having morning tea or coffee.

Phones, gadgets and all the EMF is bad, bad,... bad..Having Wi-Fi and all these radio waves is never going to benefit a Sikh. I have my own theories and evidence of how gadgets, wi-fi and EMF has affected my own abyaas, but I'm not going to get in detail now.

When the forum is full of stuff that is not inspiring, then just disappear for a while. Especially, if you feel it's spiritually draining, then it's time to go try raise your consciousness.

agreed EMF is very damaging to sleep and own psychic fields , loads of experiment data out there .

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4 hours ago, luckysingh99 said:

Just power the damned phone off at set time every night. Don't turn it on until you are in some other part of the house or room the next day. Say, you could leave it in the kitchen and don't switch it on until you having morning tea or coffee.

Phones, gadgets and all the EMF is bad, bad,... bad..Having Wi-Fi and all these radio waves is never going to benefit a Sikh. I have my own theories and evidence of how gadgets, wi-fi and EMF has affected my own abyaas, but I'm not going to get in detail now.

When the forum is full of stuff that is not inspiring, then just disappear for a while. Especially, if you feel it's spiritually draining, then it's time to go try raise your consciousness.

bhaji is absolutely right.

14 hours ago, Jacfsing2 said:

this website being one example, where it just seems like debates and nobody really learns anything).

I never see people talking about naam abhyaas or genuine questions regarding spirituality.

for example, when i went to tao forums , just by chance, i found people asking genuine questions regarding their spiritual experiences.

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3 hours ago, kalyugi said:

I never see people talking about naam abhyaas or genuine questions regarding spirituality.

for example, when i went to tao forums , just by chance, i found people asking genuine questions regarding their spiritual experiences.

Much of modern Sikh spirituality, as practiced by most people, is tied up in visual posturing and being seen to do the pious and holy thing. It seems to me that we crave external recognition from others for our spiritual acts, which again feeds into the narcissistic sense of wishing to be admired, or even worshipped for doing good, in the most extreme cases. Rarely are we content with selfless, unnoticeable, and intensely personal devotion on an individual level.

How has this come about? Probably through the emphasis in parchaar that becoming an Amritdhari is an overnight method of attaining spiritual perfection. When was the last time we heard anyone say, "The journey does not end with taking Amrit. It is merely the beginning." When there's a seismic shift in parchaar that emphasises that Sikh spirituality begins from within; that without any firm internal foundations, the outer garb is merely window dressing, we will continue to see the degrading of the Sikh identity by people who seem to assume that looking the part outweighs all other requirements. If you require evidence of my opinions on this matter just look around you at the Amritdhari rank and file. How many truly and absolutely embody those ideals we are taught are the hallmarks of a true Sikh? Scratch that, how many are even diligently WORKING towards attaining such things?

Gosh, I'm nowhere near where i want to be, but I'm aware of my failings. I haven't deluded myself with the idea that the job is done. As far as I'm concerned it's barely started. That comes with humility and perspective. It doesn't come from being led to believe that you're perfect.

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Vaheguru ji Ka Khalsa
Vaheguru ji Ki Fateh ji

From my limited understanding, I think you should add Sri Sukhmani Sahib ji to your nitnem if you haven't already.. It will change your life for the better & you will remember Sri Vaheguru ji with dhyaan. I recited only Sri Sukhmani Sahib ji for about 600+ days before being blessed with amrit, and I regret letting go of Sri Sukhmani Sahib ji because I remember now that all my problems started when I let it go. It was probably the most chardikala point of my life, and I suggest everyone to try adding it to their nitnem, and there is no excuse to not add it since it all comes down to priorities (unless if you don't have internet/sri gutka sahib ji). I listened to it with lyrics for about a week, and then I read it along and thankfully I still remember it regardless of not reciting it for years. Don't feel guilty if you are reciting jaap while multitasking, if anything I'm happy that you are able to chant their name while doing things you like. This is just the start of your life, and you should be easy on yourself, don't make yourself feel so guilty! Afterall, we practice dharma for anand. 

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7 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

Much of modern Sikh spirituality, as practiced by most people, is tied up in visual posturing and being seen to do the pious and holy thing. It seems to me that we crave external recognition from others for our spiritual acts, which again feeds into the narcissistic sense of wishing to be admired, or even worshipped for doing good, in the most extreme cases. Rarely are we content with selfless, unnoticeable, and intensely personal devotion on an individual level.

How has this come about? Probably through the emphasis in parchaar that becoming an Amritdhari is an overnight method of attaining spiritual perfection. When was the last time we heard anyone say, "The journey does not end with taking Amrit. It is merely the beginning." When there's a seismic shift in parchaar that emphasises that Sikh spirituality begins from within; that without any firm internal foundations, the outer garb is merely window dressing, we will continue to see the degrading of the Sikh identity by people who seem to assume that looking the part outweighs all other requirements. If you require evidence of my opinions on this matter just look around you at the Amritdhari rank and file. How many truly and absolutely embody those ideals we are taught are the hallmarks of a true Sikh? Scratch that, how many are even diligently WORKING towards attaining such things?

Gosh, I'm nowhere near where i want to be, but I'm aware of my failings. I haven't deluded myself with the idea that the job is done. As far as I'm concerned it's barely started. That comes with humility and perspective. It doesn't come from being led to believe that you're perfect.

very well put bhaji.

Are you a writer or professor at university? I am very impressed by your eloquent style of writing.

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5 hours ago, luckysingh99 said:

I know. For me, abyaas is my utmost priority and my day to day is arranged around my abyaas, rather than trying to squeeze some jap in if one has time.

It's a shame our people have these attitudes because I spent over 2 years asking and trying to find out what japna really is and how it could carry me. I was disappointed on many occasions when respectable Sikhs just closed the doors and wouldn't/couldn't answer.

The Taoist's are one of a few that have same spiritual goals as sikhi..which is to meet "waheguru" in sachkhand. They call it seeing the "tao" when they get darshan of the almighty Ek onkar. .. Respect!

o really ? I didn't know that.  I happened to be there when I was searching for how to transmutate the  lower energy to higher levels so that it doesnt leak down there.

@luckysingh99  How do Sikhs do it ?   I reckon, saas giraas jaap with dhyan should pull the energy up or is it the whole package of how one carry himself around his daily living, including principles of yam and niyam ?

 

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1 hour ago, kalyugi said:

very well put bhaji.

Are you a writer or professor at university? I am very impressed by your eloquent style of writing.

Nah, just a bumpkin, hehe.

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15 hours ago, kalyugi said:

How do Sikhs do it ?   I reckon, saas giraas jaap with dhyan should pull the energy up or is it the whole package of how one carry himself around his daily living, including principles of yam and niyam ?

 

 

We don't have to get too worked up with principles yam and niyam, as these virtues will begin to manifest with simran and gurbani. Goal of all schools is to teach students to get into Samadhi/ sunn samadh. Only from there can someone have the ultimate experience of Truth.

Saas giraas is one of many techniques used in gurmat, and gurmat is devised in manners suitable for grishti jeevan and for a Sikh to be sant/sipahi (saint/soldier).

If you are trying some abyaas approach, then I can give tips and suggestions relative to my own trial and errors, along with success rates.

 

 

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Has jacfsingh gone cold turkey? Unless he has exceptional willpower he won't be able to sustain the immediate and overnight halt in internet browsing. Need to wean yourself off or place limits on time spent on such activities. If you're reading this you saucy young whippersnapper, don't be a hero. You can't indefinitely suspend all activity on the net and hope to continue such behaviour forever. Chill.

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23 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

Has jacfsingh gone cold turkey? Unless he has exceptional willpower he won't be able to sustain the immediate and overnight halt in internet browsing. Need to wean yourself off or place limits on time spent on such activities. If you're reading this you saucy young whippersnapper, don't be a hero. You can't indefinitely suspend all activity on the net and hope to continue such behaviour forever. Chill.

+1

I had to respond to this, just because the username "Jacfsing2" isn't logged-in, doesn't mean that I'm not reading a few topics on this forum, or even the internet. But I may be posting and commenting much less than what I usually do. Due to certain circumstances there are times when I will need the internet; however, working hard on cutting the usage from almost half of my day to less than half of my day. I know that I will need to take baby steps. (I've had general addiction to electronics as a kid, it won't be healthy to quit the internet in one day for me like any other addiction.) 

So, just because I'm not posting anything doesn't mean I'm not reading what's being said, just that once I post, I probably go all out and I don't even recognize how much time I wasted. (This is coming from someone who doesn't use the major social medias like Facebook or Twitter).

(Amrit Vela was very hard for me today, cause I tried not using it at all, but still made less checks than what I usually do).

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16 minutes ago, Jacfsing2 said:

+1

I had to respond to this, just because the username "Jacfsing2" isn't logged-in, doesn't mean that I'm not reading a few topics on this forum, or even the internet. But I may be posting and commenting much less than what I usually do. Due to certain circumstances there are times when I will need the internet; however, working hard on cutting the usage from almost half of my day to less than half of my day. I know that I will need to take baby steps. (I've had general addiction to electronics as a kid, it won't be healthy to quit the internet in one day for me like any other addiction.) 

So, just because I'm not posting anything doesn't mean I'm not reading what's being said, just that once I post, I probably go all out and I don't even recognize how much time I wasted. (This is coming from someone who doesn't use the major social medias like Facebook or Twitter).

(Amrit Vela was very hard for me today, cause I tried not using it at all, but still made less checks than what I usually do).

Good lad. It's early days, you can't be expected to kick the habit so quickly. It genuinely does sound like you're addicted. I suspect many people are in the same boat but don't acknowledge it as a problem. 

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Ok I'll keep this brief. Your brain / mind can be split into two 'realms' the human bit (compassion, appreciates birds singing, is reasonable , mulls over things based on evidence ...All that good stuff), then you have the older realm of the brain that has been with humans since they were fish, it's called the reptilian brain (deals with primitive urges, looks for danger, reproduction, self preservation etc). Now that part of the brain is about 5x stronger than your human side (but it's transitory/short term). So for example if a bus is coming towards you the reptilian brain kicks in and makes you move, adrenaline release , then the dopamine rush after to reward taking action. The human side of your brain likes to understand what's happening before taking an action, so it's a bit useless in such situations. 

In the modern world with kaam stimulus everywhere (triggers) you have a bit of a problem as this mechanism is kicking off a lot (kaam is needed for reproduction at an animalistic level). When you masterbate to stimulus you are getting a rush, then the dopamine hit, which is addictive and the more you do it the stronger those connections become in your mind (bit like when you see well worn paths in grass in the park). So over time you get stimulus the brain reacts in the same way. The guilt stuff you feel is from the 'human' side which makes you feel sad, and guess what your previous actions gave you a dopamine rush which made you feel good for a bit, so hey presto your guilt in a way veers you towards doing what you don't want to do again, as you want to feel good right?

So how do you break this chain of events? Well realise a few things , if you are young then there are lots of hormones rushing around plus from a biological 'animal' point of view, your mind just wants to reproduce. When you feel the urge 'go easy' on yourself (this breaks the guilt cycle), if you indulge don't beat yourself up. When you feel the trigger or 'urge' you need to divert the mind. Would you continue to do what you were going to do if a bus was coming towards you? When kaam, krodh etc come to fore, notice how your mind goes into tunnel vision , so the thing to do is divert. From experience , a good comedy video or reading about acts of compassion divert the mind (and release those hormones such as dopamine ) in the brain. The key is not to guilt trip yourself and find a diversion that works for you.

A good anology of this 'dance' is imagine yourself as a lightweight boxer (great endurance not much ko power) up against a heavyweight (not much endurance but maybe 5x stronger 😉). Would you go straight at them in round one and try and ko them, and then have a guilt trip over being punched hard and ko'd? Or would the clever boxer dance around the ring and aim to get the heavyweight tired so they give up in later rounds? You might get a few whacks but in the end you will win as long as you play to your strengths.

Hope this helps , there are plenty of books out there about how the brain works , things like the chimp paradox and newer books on brain plasticity. The key is to break the 'guilt' feelings the action doesn't become a 'thing' which then makes it easier to overcome.

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