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Gender Ratio of Amritdharis?

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Guest Jacfsing2

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh! Why is there such a bad gender ratio of fewer female Amritdharis than that of male Amritdharis? Do the parents teach the daughter about the need for Amrit or what? (Also I seem to notice that some of them seem to be told off that if they want to take Amrit to wait till marriage; which only hurts this ratio more.) Is there a way to get both males and females interested, in the olden days people begged to take Amrit, now pracharks are begging for others to take Amrit. (Also if someone falls in Prem with Guru Sahib; what stalls them from taking Amrit.) Just wanted to know these questions with the answers. Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

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Parents do not promote amrit to their children.  Someone who wears a dastar once told me ... he does not want his son to have a handicap of dastar which will limit his swimming abilities.

Mothers are more concerned about whether their future in laws will allow their daughters to remain vegetarian and to perform path too. 

Altogether parents are more concerned about financial security of their children and consider religion to be a limitation. 

Children pick up the bits of religion out of self interest. Some or most parents step in as a discouraging factor.  Those who are forced to keep kesh, cannot wait for their parents to pass away so they can get their freedom. 

We have to educate ourselves and step above maya to realise the true purpose of our human birth and alsothe rreality and the truth which has been revealed in the SGGS.

Children currently would give English 6 days a week and 2 hours a week for punjabi, gurmukhi or santheya. Our religion should be seen as part of our day to day living...... not a necessity which elders force us into.

 

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It's for the best. At least if there's less of them they're safe from guys like OP. :rofl I'm just kidding with you, Singh.

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Guest Jacfsing2
5 hours ago, sikhni777 said:

Parents do not promote amrit to their children.  Someone who wears a dastar once told me ... he does not want his son to have a handicap of dastar which will limit his swimming abilities.

Mothers are more concerned about whether their future in laws will allow their daughters to remain vegetarian and to perform path too. 

Altogether parents are more concerned about financial security of their children and consider religion to be a limitation. 

Children pick up the bits of religion out of self interest. Some or most parents step in as a discouraging factor.  Those who are forced to keep kesh, cannot wait for their parents to pass away so they can get their freedom. 

We have to educate ourselves and step above maya to realise the true purpose of our human birth and alsothe rreality and the truth which has been revealed in the SGGS.

Children currently would give English 6 days a week and 2 hours a week for punjabi, gurmukhi or santheya. Our religion should be seen as part of our day to day living...... not a necessity which elders force us into.

These all seem reasonable to an extent, (trying to understand both sides), but these could be easily resolved if we encouraged more general Amrit Sanchars among our youth. We need Maya, (not going to disagree), but what parent knowing wouldn't want the best spiritual way for their kids, (and they call themselves Sikhs), to be pushing Amrit away. I'm not a parent, (or even married for that matter), but after you reach a state of financial responsibility then the wealthy need goes down, (but you can't replace financial responsibility), after that you can see the actual values. 

The bigger question is: Do Parents Care About Sikhi?

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I think women view keeping body hair as a great limitation that will isolate them socially.  I think that at least partially explains the amritdhari gender gap.  But that is only one factor.

 

In general, I think young Sikh women are less inclined to feel a connection with their Sikh heritage than young Sikh men are (even in cases where that connection does not necessarily involve being amritdhari).

For this, I blame their conflation of Sikhi with conservative Punjabi culture.  While the former is very progressive in terms of promoting gender equality, the latter is the opposite.  Let's face it: a lot of our parents (especially those from rural, uneducated backgrounds) treat their sons and daughters differently.  In some cases, the different treatment is administered with the best intentions in mind (but a lack of awareness of what is perceived to be sexist in the modern world).  In other cases, there is outright favoritism of boys. 

 

This is a dire problem, and we need to do something to increase the number of amritdhari women, and more generally, engage more young Sikh women and let them know that Sikhi is for them.

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I agree with pretty much everything said here.

Whether it's the parents, the media, western culture or personal weakness, it's hurting the ratio badly.

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1. Because Amritdhari Singhs are going for non-amritdhari Women, ignoring and rejecting those with facial hair/unibrows. - so the whole idea of body hair kicks in.

2. Somehow we do not have enough of Women parchariks to get to the girls.

3. Parents lack education and fail to let their children walk on the path of sikh at an early age, choosing to equip them with worldly criteria of beauty and success.

4. Women who do tie dastars have put up an image that they are the same as all other women, except with certain eating and drinking restrictions. So women don't see the point of having to get amrit.

Edited by Khalistanisinghni
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I'd be very interested, from a statistical standpoint, the spread of female Gursikhs across the various jathe; or not as the case may be. I think a lot could be gained from identifying which jatha attracts the highest numbers of female Sikhs. From there you could ascertain why that is, and certain groups could take steps to correct a potential imbalance. Anecdotally i have an idea which jatha has the highest numbers of female Gursikhs, but it's just a hunch.

However, that would only work if the female takes amrit before marriage. I might be way off target here, but I'm assuming a female is expected to follow the same rehat as her husband, so i suppose she has less choice in her adherence to a certain jatha's rehat, than a female who decides not to wait to see which jatha her husband belongs to.

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1 hour ago, MisterrSingh said:

I'd be very interested, from a statistical standpoint, the spread of female Gursikhs across the various jathe; or not as the case may be. I think a lot could be gained from identifying which jatha attracts the highest numbers of female Sikhs. From there you could ascertain why that is, and certain groups could take steps to correct a potential imbalance. Anecdotally i have an idea which jatha has the highest numbers of female Gursikhs, but it's just a hunch.

However, that would only work if the female takes amrit before marriage. I might be way off target here, but I'm assuming a female is expected to follow the same rehat as her husband, so i suppose she has less choice in her adherence to a certain jatha's rehat, than a female who decides not to wait to see which jatha her husband belongs to.

I agree a bibi should answer the call to Amrit as soon as possible before marriage because otherwise she would not have developed enough depth of abiyhass to discern potential hazards to her sikhi by prospective families . Plenty of oppressive in-laws out there without the complication of control of jatha rehit . 

A Gursikh is a Gursikh there is very little difference in rehit , maybe some do more i their nitnem others less  but we are told by Guru ji to always look to increase , the jatha amrit sanchar is just the launchpad  the swim is ahead of us .

 

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2 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

Maybe it's because men and women become amritdhari for different reasons.

 

men I think do it for status if they are immature but most hopefully because of love of the Guru

Women for the love of guru firstly because so many oppose her  but some do only  for family 

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7 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

I agree a bibi should answer the call to Amrit as soon as possible before marriage because otherwise she would not have developed enough depth of abiyhass to discern potential hazards to her sikhi by prospective families . Plenty of oppressive in-laws out there without the complication of control of jatha rehit . 

A Gursikh is a Gursikh there is very little difference in rehit , maybe some do more i their nitnem others less  but we are told by Guru ji to always look to increase , the jatha amrit sanchar is just the launchpad  the swim is ahead of us .

The reasons for taking amrit would need to identified and confronted (for both sexes), even if that means facing up to a few uncomfortable truths that have never, or rarely, been discussed. Because looking around at the state of the panth today in the West (beyond the dazzle of the surface), do you not wonder about certain individuals, "What is it about Sikhi that drew YOU to take amrit, you poor excuse for a human being?" We could flap our gums and pay lip service whilst ignoring the hathi in the room, or we could get serious. 

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6 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

I'd be very interested, from a statistical standpoint, the spread of female Gursikhs across the various jathe; or not as the case may be. I think a lot could be gained from identifying which jatha attracts the highest numbers of female Sikhs. From there you could ascertain why that is, and certain groups could take steps to correct a potential imbalance. Anecdotally i have an idea which jatha has the highest numbers of female Gursikhs, but it's just a hunch.

However, that would only work if the female takes amrit before marriage. I might be way off target here, but I'm assuming a female is expected to follow the same rehat as her husband, so i suppose she has less choice in her adherence to a certain jatha's rehat, than a female who decides not to wait to see which jatha her husband belongs to.

Personally I'd not be too interested in a Jatha-fanatic to be spreading Gurmat, especially since each Jatha has it's Pakhand. We all know the Jatha which inspires the most women to take Amrit from before marriage, (not going to directly name it as some Jatha-fanatic would be complaining about it), and even that Jatha has it's personal problems. Keeping Rehat and taking Amrit are both wonderful things; however, if your not willing to comprimise on controversial issues especially when your side and the other Sikh persons views are radically different don't mention it, and don't try going to a Rishta if you view it important to you. Also we all hopefully remember that girl that married the Mahapurukh and just starting complaing that he wasn't wordly enough.

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8 hours ago, Khalistanisinghni said:

 

1. Because Amritdhari Singhs are going for non-amritdhari Women, ignoring and rejecting those with facial hair/unibrows. - so the whole idea of body hair kicks in.

 

This is interesting because i know of a few Amritdhari Singhs who married non-amritdhari women and 2 of them have take Amrit a few years after they got married (one of the ladies even ties a dastaar) but their husband's still drop hint's about removing any excess hair and "shaping them eyebrows", double standards a-plenty from the men.

It take's a strong man, both in mentality and spirituality to accept his wife if she has taken amrit and her appearance doesn't "comply" with the norms of society but it takes an even stronger woman to take amrit reject the norms of society and follow Guru sahib.

 

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The crux of this particular issue is in the context of hair.

Hair all over the body is seen as a masculine trait. Therefore, it is seen as acceptable for an Amritdhari male. 

However, in society hair outside the head area is not seen as a feminine trait.

The problem is Amritdharis are seen as somehow above being human and are enhanced spiritual beings. They are still humans and humans are going to human.

Several years of Amritdhari ness may not be enough over-ride thousands of years of hardwired biology.

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