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dont talk to boys. .. why aren't you married whats happening section

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Guest wonder   
Guest wonder

I wanted to reply to the abivein gupt. IThis is on point. This is exactly what my parents don't understand either! Firstly they would like a normal family etc and then I am cut from all communication. They want us to never contact a person of the opposite gender and then we suddenly have to fall in love and marry someone of the opposite gender. I totally refuse. No I don't like to or want to talk to boys but if someone is meant to share a future with me then of course it's going to take a lot more than convincing me he's a nice gursikh. Like I'm sure he's a nice gursikh and would make an amazing parcharak or jathedar but we dont just fall in love with people becsuse they are gursikh. They have no idea who is good for us or who is bad. They would be disappointed if I were to talk to someone even in an innocent and genuine way yet we have to just 'do as they say' and change our lives and adjust eveything! I don't think its worth it. Just marrying to make people and parents happy. They never understand!!!

 

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singhbj singh    1,179

I thought of posting this topic in Gupt after posting it in What's Happ..

Either Admin should move controversial topics to Gupt for discretion of members & honest opinion Or give option to members to post as Guest in all categories.

 

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singhbj singh    1,179
20 hours ago, Guest wonder said:

I wanted to reply to the abivein gupt. IThis is on point. This is exactly what my parents don't understand either! Firstly they would like a normal family etc and then I am cut from all communication. They want us to never contact a person of the opposite gender and then we suddenly have to fall in love and marry someone of the opposite gender. I totally refuse. No I don't like to or want to talk to boys but if someone is meant to share a future with me then of course it's going to take a lot more than convincing me he's a nice gursikh. Like I'm sure he's a nice gursikh and would make an amazing parcharak or jathedar but we dont just fall in love with people becsuse they are gursikh. They have no idea who is good for us or who is bad. They would be disappointed if I were to talk to someone even in an innocent and genuine way yet we have to just 'do as they say' and change our lives and adjust eveything! I don't think its worth it. Just marrying to make people and parents happy. They never understand!!!

 

Girls should be grateful that parents are letting them access Internet without supervision n remain content.

No point dreaming of freedom and choosing your own spouse.

It's better to be realistic then live in La La Land.

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Guest Wonder   
Guest Wonder

Yes I agree but its hard to explain. I have Internet for work solely.  How can I be content ifI dont want o be with someone. I have the strictest parents which is fine but when even they aren't fully happy and proud then you can help but think like this. I won't choose my own spouse because I cant anyway because I dont even know anybody. Of course theres bigger issue in the world and I am not ungrateful, just it saddens me a lot. I have to reply in gupt because I am not allowed to be talking to anyone so not allowed to sign up for any social media

Thank you singh bj

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Guest Kul   
Guest Kul
On 3/12/2017 at 10:09 PM, singhbj singh said:

Girls should be grateful that parents are letting them access Internet without supervision n remain content.

No point dreaming of freedom and choosing your own spouse.

It's better to be realistic then live in La La Land.

What world are you living in?

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singhbj singh    1,179
On 13/03/2017 at 11:35 AM, Guest Wonder said:

Yes I agree but its hard to explain. I have Internet for work solely.  How can I be content ifI dont want o be with someone. I have the strictest parents which is fine but when even they aren't fully happy and proud then you can help but think like this. I won't choose my own spouse because I cant anyway because I dont even know anybody. Of course theres bigger issue in the world and I am not ungrateful, just it saddens me a lot. I have to reply in gupt because I am not allowed to be talking to anyone so not allowed to sign up for any social media

Thank you singh bj

Definition of right n wrong as per traditional dictionary

Right - Love the one you marry

Wrong - Marry the one you love 

Benefit of having strict parents & being obedient is kids are married sooner then contemporaries.

Sincerely,

Uncle Singhbj.

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Guest Jacfsing2   
Guest Jacfsing2
33 minutes ago, singhbj singh said:

Not in La La Land !

Honestly you are the only member on this site living in La La Land.

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Guest Jacfsing2   
Guest Jacfsing2
On 3/13/2017 at 2:05 AM, Guest Wonder said:

Yes I agree but its hard to explain. I have Internet for work solely.  How can I be content ifI dont want o be with someone. I have the strictest parents which is fine but when even they aren't fully happy and proud then you can help but think like this. I won't choose my own spouse because I cant anyway because I dont even know anybody. Of course theres bigger issue in the world and I am not ungrateful, just it saddens me a lot. I have to reply in gupt because I am not allowed to be talking to anyone so not allowed to sign up for any social media

Thank you singh bj

I feel sorry for you.

On 3/13/2017 at 1:09 AM, singhbj singh said:

Girls should be grateful that parents are letting them access Internet without supervision n remain content.

No point dreaming of freedom and choosing your own spouse.

It's better to be realistic then live in La La Land.

Only noticed this recently, but do you want your spouse, (or future spouse), to be some slave for you? Gurbani does say to view spouse as Vaheguru, it doesn't say to treat them as Ghulami.

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Guest Jacfsing2   
Guest Jacfsing2
On 3/12/2017 at 4:42 AM, Guest wonder said:

I wanted to reply to the abivein gupt. IThis is on point. This is exactly what my parents don't understand either! Firstly they would like a normal family etc and then I am cut from all communication. They want us to never contact a person of the opposite gender and then we suddenly have to fall in love and marry someone of the opposite gender. I totally refuse. No I don't like to or want to talk to boys but if someone is meant to share a future with me then of course it's going to take a lot more than convincing me he's a nice gursikh. Like I'm sure he's a nice gursikh and would make an amazing parcharak or jathedar but we dont just fall in love with people becsuse they are gursikh. They have no idea who is good for us or who is bad. They would be disappointed if I were to talk to someone even in an innocent and genuine way yet we have to just 'do as they say' and change our lives and adjust eveything! I don't think its worth it. Just marrying to make people and parents happy. They never understand!!!

Honestly I can't understand since my parents are more open than this, (even more open than I am at some points), but I couldn't just fall-in-love with some random person either if we weren't compatible.

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MisterrSingh    2,805
6 minutes ago, Jacfsing2 said:

Honestly I can't understand since my parents are more open than this, (even more open than I am at some points), but I couldn't just fall-in-love with some random person either if we weren't compatible.

The first mistake you're making is the "falling in love" part, lol. 

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Guest Jacfsing2   
Guest Jacfsing2
42 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

The first mistake you're making is the "falling in love" part, lol. 

You make a point, but I'm talking about getting to know the person's qualities, (there are some people I've met who I would never expect to be so kind, but knowing them made me realize otherwise, and other times there are some people who look like they might be of some help, but never provide any).

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MisterrSingh    2,805
24 minutes ago, Jacfsing2 said:

You make a point, but I'm talking about getting to know the person's qualities, (there are some people I've met who I would never expect to be so kind, but knowing them made me realize otherwise, and other times there are some people who look like they might be of some help, but never provide any).

That's not falling in love, that's just being a well-rounded, receptive person without prejudices. Male-female relations pertaining to long term relationships are full of wildly varying dynamics, some of which defy logic. What you perceive to be "getting to know the person's qualities" might be the other person pushing the immediately visible surface layer of their persona whilst suppressing the rest. Everyone puts their best foot forward in those situations; rarely do people say, "Well i have a horrid temper most times, and i don't like to wake up before 1pm on Sundays." That's why westerners date, in order to discover the true person beneath the initial appeal that inevitably erodes over time. But even that isn't a fool proof method of discovering someone's nature and intentions. My point is there's no guaranteed formula for discovering someone's inner workings. One can make arrive at a calculated and educated decision after weighing up various factors, but going merely by what the other person presents to you is unwise. In other words, follow your head, not that warm, jumpy feeling in your chest or your stomach.

Edited by MisterrSingh

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Guest wonder   
Guest wonder

@singhbj

love the one you marry? 

I totally understand where you comimg from but it's not realistic. Whats so romantic about that. Where's the light on the wedding day. How can it be ek joyt duwe moorti if its just a ritual. Its not just for the sake of children and families.  This could go on forever. nowadays marriage has just become a chore or function for families to look forward to. Who cares what we look forward to. What if the whole concept doesnt interest me. How can girls get intimate with someone they have no feelings for. Surely thats marrying to satisfy lustful needs which is obviously more frowned upon if we are taking society into consideration. It doesnt make us bad for not wanting to marry. 

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Akalifauj    792

The girl who wrote this piece is of very low character.  No credible research would have been done.  This is the case of I have messed up my life, so should others because I am miserable.  Search her up, she exposes herself openly to the world.  No shame in her.

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