Abandoned WIves - another cosh to beat sikhs with?

[dallysingh101]

5 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

 I've also noticed this phenomena occurs in homes the mother of the groom wears the trousers, if you know what I mean.

All kinds of ish comes from those places... lol

 

If kids (boys AND girls) are brought up with a weak primary male figure, that impacts them throughout their lives. 

[simran345]

6 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

That's what we did we said we want nothing but the girl and you should have seen the vultures pipe up ... it's going to insult the girl's family etc etc . Even they(Bro's <banned word filter activated>) handed my Mum a saving passbook on the day and my Mum just handed it back , saying , it is up to them the couple and Akal Purakh to make jeevan work , I don't need anything you have given me your daughter

She was a major headache in early years and I suspect she wanted to use my bro to get to Denmark where her brothers were living but fell pregnant early on . We are a tight knit bunch in  our family as there was only Mum Dad and us kids in a non-desi neighbourhood so we never had that whole desi nindiya irka mentality and she just didn't get it because she had been filled up with horror stories by her Bhabhi. She tried accusing my Mum of shouting at her to which everyone just rolled their eyes and laughed  at her  because my Mum never shouts at folks , she goes deadly quiet ninja style.  Anyway she was suspicious of being shown affection or love by us, giving gifts was an issue because it meant someone was after something or was giving her something lesser. Thankfully that stupidness is reduced - only took 17 years  

Our family did the same as your mother penji. Didn't accept nothing. We said we want a daughter, not a daaj deal, and said give her only what she wants for herself, e.g: clothes or something she will use herself, if you're not going to stop, but we want nothing. And they respected us for that. 

 

5 hours ago, dallysingh101 said:

I bet you its mostly those pendu Jazzy B types who've  managed to get residency abroad who do this?

I think it's embedded as norm, with most people there. Only the wise ones won't accept or ask for daaj. When one of our cousins got married in India, the sister in law wouldn't stop complaining that her parents gave her so little, well hardly anything. So that really p*****d me off, and I said it to her direct in front of the elders. I said, what haven't you got, whatever her parents give her is for her only, and they give what they like.  And she should be ashamed of complaining or expecting anything. I shouted at her, despite her not liking it, but it soon shut her up. An elder said to her, to learn something from me, and gave me shabash. In some families they only turn up to see what the girls side have given, which is disgusting. 

[dallysingh101]

15 minutes ago, simran345 said:

I think it's embedded as norm, with most people there. Only the wise ones won't accept or ask for daaj. When one of our cousins got married in India, the sister in law wouldn't stop complaining that her parents gave her so little, well hardly anything. So that really p*****d me off, and I said it to her direct in front of the elders. I said, what haven't you got, whatever her parents give her is for her only, and they give what they like.  And she should be ashamed of complaining or expecting anything. I shouted at her, despite her not liking it, but it soon shut her up. An elder said to her, to learn something from me, and gave me shabash. In some families they only turn up to see what the girls side have given, which is disgusting. 

It's like our people are obsessed with the most petty of showing off!

It's crazy and on all levels. I've got one (non-blood) relative who has a whole room of toys for his baby son, it's like he shows everyone who visits his crib to let them know. Too many apnay equate materialistic displays as demonstrations of love. Craaaayzeeeeee!

For a community whose existence is based around the idea of shaking off the illusions of this transitory world - boy are our peeps associated with just that. 

[Guest Jacfsing2]

6 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

It's crazy and on all levels. I've got one (non-blood) relative who has a whole room of toys for his baby son, it's like he shows everyone who visits his crib to let them know. Too many apnay equate materialistic displays as demonstrations of love. Craaaayzeeeeee!

Would he do the same if he had a daughter? Just wondering; some folks clearly over celebrate one gender over the other, especially for Lohri, (only Punjabis celebrate this in that way).

[MisterrSingh]

1 hour ago, dallysingh101 said:

For a community whose existence is based around the idea of shaking off the illusions of this transitory world - boy are our peeps associated with just that. 

When we, as a people, start having the above discussion truthfully and openly, that's when things will be on the verge of change. 

[Guest AjeetSinghPunjabi]

On 3/1/2017 at 0:10 AM, StarStriker said:

wat i find funny is, wen sikhs ask for independance or sikhs get credit for the gud things of panjab, u get hindus n pappu sikhs sayin, "oh hindus r 35% of panjab, theyre just as much a part of panjab as sikhs r". Yet wen it comes to negativity of panjab, sikhs ALWAYS get the blame. As if, hindus r not takin drugs in big number, or aborting kurrian, drinkin sharab, doing dodgy visa/dowry marriages like above.

 

The writing on the wall is clear for akalis. But most of them are inebriated in power and fake respect showered on them by their hindutva allies. 

I have personally caught hindutva ppl red handed when i saw them boasting about operation bluestar and their dream day of bringing idols of hindu gods back in harmandar sahib. I m not crazy, trust me. Though they deleted the article afterwards. 

Secondly, if this demographics polarization continues in Punjab,day is not far when we the sikhs become a minority in our own homeland. 

PS : no offense to brotherly hindu veers who genuinely love sikhs. I m only against the extreme right wing political ones

[sikhni777]

12 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

Yes, from what I've seen it's those types. Funnily enough - and this isn't scientific - I've also noticed teaadis phenomena occurs in homes the mother of the groom wears the trousers, if you know what I mean.

Ladies are more to blame for this divorce mentality. Instead of giving good advice to support the couple they stir up hatred and separation Ideas as I

[MisterrSingh]

1 hour ago, sikhni777 said:

Ladies are more to blame for this divorce mentality. Instead of giving good advice to support the couple they stir up hatred and separation Ideas as I

Some couples don't require any encouragement, lol. But, yes, unfortunately there's a reason for the scheming, devious mother-in-law stereotype, and unfortunately it's an all too common occurrence in our people. Thankfully, many of our older ladies have developed enough self awareness to realise they don't want to be cast as the villain in any potential drama between their son and daughter in-law, so they remove themselves from the situation before the marriage to ward off even the merest chance of false accusations coming their way. As sad as that may seem I think it's for the best. A good person doesn't want to be maligned by false accusations.

[dallysingh101]

15 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

When we, as a people, start having the above discussion truthfully and openly, that's when things will be on the verge of change. 

I think some of us have already started this (only just started). 

Whether it comes to anything or not in regard to the wider community only time will tell. 

[dallysingh101]

11 hours ago, sikhni777 said:

Ladies are more to blame for this divorce mentality. Instead of giving good advice to support the couple they stir up hatred and separation Ideas as I

There is something really weird going on with female advice to other females when it comes to relationships. Even some of my otherwise rational, intelligent and well educated female friends can go into some strange, destructive negative vortex of thinking when it comes to giving other female friends relationship advice.

Sometimes you overhear  the advice they are giving and think: "Are you serious!!!" "Do you have any idea of the implications of what you've just said?!??!"