Kaam Help

[Guest misguidedSingh]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

I am in my mid 20's and I do a lot of Paath  and don't drink smoke no meat etc but i have been distrubed by kaam also at the same time. Iwant to take amrit and be a Gursikh but i am waiting for jobwise career to be better first. Well every time i am on my laptop i get cravings to look .........edited........... i feel really bad afterwoods and feel like a big paapi. I do ardas and go to Gurdwara and do metha tak and say i will never do it again but i end up failing and in the same trap again. 

 

Another thing that has been with me is that I have been a Virgin all my life never had a girlfriend or kiss. But I sometimes just wanna pay a blonde escort for a one time session and then it would be out of my system. However i worry by doing this i feel develop a addication like drugs smoking. i know it is wrong what i am writting and but i keep telling myself that this wrong. Ever since i remember is that i have a had a liking towards blondes but i don't want to marry one cos i act like a Gursikh and i get respect from friends about it. But i feel like this unfulfilled sexual desire is destroying me from time to time.

 

Everytime i am outside i see a blonde girl i get exicted but i also tell myself that is wrong according to Gurbani

 

Sangat Ji what should i do ? I know it is wrong to have sex before marriage and its a sin but i can't help thinking about it and viewing this flith online.    

Any advice and tips would be very very helpful

 

Thanks 

[jkvlondon]

bro ,

you may think going with a pro is going to solve your problem , it isn't, it will increase your conflict internally, because you will feel guilty about giving into your base instincts instead to respecting yourself . Why not let your first be someone you actually care for and want to remember ? 

why don't you have amrit , it has zero to do with your career ... is there ever going to be a perfect time ? life has no guarantees better to action your commitment to Guru ji than delay it . Do you think you want to get married ? BTW most blondes are bottle ones and they are just the same as other women... sorry to bust your bubble, I know why you fetishize them it's your viewing choices. 

p.s. with your online viewing habits you should realise it is a very damaging pastime.

 

[Guest Jacfsing2]

On 2/26/2017 at 2:37 PM, Guest misguidedSingh said:

Another thing that has been with me is that I have been a Virgin all my life never had a girlfriend or kiss. But I sometimes just wanna pay a blonde escort for a one time session and then it would be out of my system. However i worry by doing this i feel develop a addication like drugs smoking. i know it is wrong what i am writting and but i keep telling myself that this wrong. Ever since i remember is that i have a had a liking towards blondes but i don't want to marry one cos i act like a Gursikh and i get respect from friends about it. But i feel like this unfulfilled sexual desire is destroying me from time to time.

 

Everytime i am outside i see a blonde girl i get exicted but i also tell myself that is wrong according to Gurbani

 

Sangat Ji what should i do ? I know it is wrong to have sex before marriage and its a sin but i can't help thinking about it and viewing this flith online.    

Any advice and tips would be very very helpful

It is more alpha to be a Virgin than lose your virginity to an escort, even by Non-Sikh standards. Just focus on limiting p-o-r-n's influence on you; I've got Kaam, Krodh, Lobh, Moh, and Ankhar as well, (if you have one of the 5 evils you have them all). Also blondes are ok, they aren't as special as you make them and they are mostly like everyone else. I don't mean to say anything based on the color of someone's Kesh, but there are some ugly Blondes out there, (again not insulting Kesh). Just don't go on that path; it's more decent if you have a good gf or even a bad one than to pay someone to be romantic with you. Also waiting till you get a decent job isn't really an excuse to not take Amrit. With Amrit you at least have Father and Mother, (Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji and Mata Sahib Kaur), to at least hold your hand if you fall; without it, your just jumping on a cliff. I may fail sometimes as an Amritdhari; (not Bhujer Kurehits), but I know that from my personal experiences the moral collapse a non-Amritdhari goes through after one fall is highly recorded by Dharam Raj, with Guru Sahib it's: "ਲੇਖਾ ਕੋਇ ਨ ਪੁਛਈ ਜਾ ਹਰਿ ਬਖਸੰਦਾ ॥ Laekhaa Koe N Pushhee Jaa Har Bakhasandhaa || लेखा कोइ न पुछई जा हरि बखसंदा ॥ No one calls me to account, since God is my forgiver." (Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji Ang 1096)

[Guest Sad]

 Thanks for putting up with my rudeness, I hope you will forgive me. I miss my father, he was a good person. 

[Guest Listenup]

Go see a therapist. It's the best money you will ever spend and this issue won't haunt you for the rest of your life.

It doesn't get better even after you get married because your addicted. So you will cause a huge amount of pain to the person who you love most.

My husband and I are dealing with this now, and i cant tell you how painful and upsetting the whole thing is for everyone involved. 

Sorry for the harsh words but please believe me.

[Guest Hide and sikh]

Admin Note: Oh hoo

[Guest Passerbysingh]

Waheghru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh. 

Sangat jiyo I was wondering if there was any punishment for kaam. I have engaged in one of the five evils recently to be exact. I was wondering if there is any punishment for any of the five evils as I am in a tight spot and in need of guru ji's help. What makes me feel even worse about what I did is that I went into it knowing it is wrong and I still did it. 

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh.

[Guest Jacfsing2]

12 hours ago, Guest Passerbysingh said:

Waheghru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh. 

Sangat jiyo I was wondering if there was any punishment for kaam. I have engaged in one of the five evils recently to be exact. I was wondering if there is any punishment for any of the five evils as I am in a tight spot and in need of guru ji's help. What makes me feel even worse about what I did is that I went into it knowing it is wrong and I still did it. 

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh.

There's only 4 things that make you break your Amrit and you must intentionally do them: 

1. Kesh Di Beadbi, (most Punj Pyare will say Kesh Kutal, most it's still a vague thing, if you are Taksali this is referred to Hajamat, which includes piercing and Tattoos)

2. Intoxicants, (this is straightforward )

3. Haram: (sex outside of marriage this doesn't directly include porn and masturbation, but you shouldn't do it anyway)

4. Khutha Maas, (Halal/{o}), this is the ban on meats slaughtered where the blood of the animal is completely taken off, as opposed to Jhatka which is a single-blow, in the Diaspora you can only get Jhatka from very rare areas or hunt it yourself, (if your Punj Pyare say you can't eat meat, you'd have to Pesh for eating meat regardless whether you change your Jatha or not).

[harsharan000]

On Sunday, February 26, 2017 at 8:37 PM, Guest misguidedSingh said:

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

. But i feel like this unfulfilled sexual desire is destroying me from time to time.

Thanks 

This your unfulfilled desire is not killing you, it is just a strong temptation of your mind. Rather I would say, you are brave by resisting it, keep resisting it and handle yourself to Wahiguru to give you inner strenghth

But If you ever allow yourself to this paap, then for sure you will destroy your atma in the purgatory realms.

Know the trickery nature of the mind and face it bravely. It first creates the wrong desires, then when one falls prey to them, then it makes one feel guilty, in the mean time a karam is made, for which one will have to pay by being strongly chained in the wheel of births and deaths, thus its assignated job is accomplished.

We as sikhs, have to be brave, for we have Him with us. Knbowing this we should fight with all our powers until our last breath, to not commit any such bad karam, for which we may feel shame to show our face to Him.

Stay blessed.

Sat Sree Akal.