Jump to content

i want to pledge 40 days sukhmani sahib but not able to bring myself to it


Guest
 Share

Recommended Posts

On 17/02/2017 at 8:05 AM, sikhni777 said:

Well those thoughts are what will be left with you when you leave your body. When will that be ? It could be any time. No one knows how much time we have left. Would you like to come back and still have to live on this earth with all its problems starring you at the face?

I have felt so ! Thats why sometimes I feel like renouncing everything and become like a sanyaasi or something the sikh way. Sometimes when I am in deep pain, I can feel the fakeness of this world ! and all relationships, including parents . Sukh passes easily but dukh shows you real face of life, forces you to think about life overall. Sometimes I feel to make effort to utilize this pain and use it to follow guru's path and become jivan-mukt. But I am not able to bring myself to it . And then there's parents pressure every other day to marry . When your parents do drama and your mom screeches , its not easy. Other times I feel self-pity . Other 27 yr olds are enjoying their youth and mine is wasted in existential crisis . But then I console myself by reminding that everything you have and don't have is earned by oneself only ! 

When I look at poor and suffering, I am forced to have a different view of life. It gives me fear also, because I wonder what I am doing ! 

All is well that ends well. Right now I am in pitch black of night, but I live on the hope that someday sun shall rise . Reading gurbani is easy, tough is to believe it , even tougher to abide and LIVE IT ! 

BTW, today i completed 2 days of my paath. I hope guru ji gives me courage to complete other 38 days also. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When my straight friends my same age tell me about their valentine and their plan to marry their lovers, Its as if someone shot a 100 piercing arrows at my heart.

The sorrow cannot be described, you will probably not understand, but I don't expect you to ! 

Then one of them who is in a loving relationship mocked me and said "You believe in and talk about waheguru so much ! why don't you ask him to arrange someone for you" .

I didn't have an answer to him. My heart just whispered in faith "He will , when the time is right !" 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

You can do 10 astpadis daily instead of whole paath. But i find if i do the whole paath even if without concentration, i feel better at the end of it. 

And we should be making an effort to discipline our mind so keep tryinv to do the whole paath and fight to keep ur mind in the present, on the meanings. If ur tongue gets tired from doing paath, ahh wat a blessing! Is there any more shubh karam?

But u might want to switch: 5 astpadis out loud, 5 in ur mind, get up and walk while listening to the other 5, sing the other 5, and read meanings of the 4.

Also dont worry about the 3 big choices. Keep ur options open, live day to day. Leave some on God, and try the rest urself. I think u should try to come out to ur parents. Not all at once, dont make it another option and stress about it, just try to be truthful.

Also maybe look for religious gay ppl, u said u tried the gay scene n didnt fit in so look for the religious gay ppl. There is a blog by a sikh gay person, google it. See wat issues they facing, wat solutions they have. Take it slowly, keep faith in God and keep searching when u feel despair. The right path to ur life might show up.

 Also look into how other religions are dealing with gay marriages, cuz sikh ppl might need to address this issue one day, and it would be nice if someone had done research on it. Look into the jati concept-

Ika Naari Jati Hoe

Look at comparison of degradation of society and homosexual behavior ( is there any correlation, causation, cuz christians r always saying roman/greek societies fell due to deviant sexual behavior), the debate of gay marriage (esp in America. I learned a lot. Like some pastor was arguing that studies show children need both a father and mother, so kids growing up in LGBTQ households with 2 moms or 2 dads, have same tendancy to fail as single parent kids. Also that there is alot of divorce/cheating in gay marriages as men are more promiscuous than women, so if u have 2 men, it doubles chances. Also that many lesbian households have domestic abuse) also check out Milo Yianopoulis on youtube, hes a Gay, Catholic, Jew who is against gay culture. He wants to live the gay lifestyle, but thinks pushing the gay agenda is harmful

tl;dr: the choices u r facing in life r hard and unique n nobody has the answers becuz there r few ppl in ur situation. So i say do more research n maybe u will be able to help urself or at least help others in ur situation. More than research, keep doin paath, have faith, wat happened to u is part of Gods will and Gods Will Can't Take You Where God's Grace Won't Save You. Guruji protects his devotees, fulfills their wishes worldly and otherwise, so become a devotee and never fear

Bro are you really going to listen to the same pastors who believe the world is 6000 years old and god spent 7 days on it? Who pick and choose what studies to believe and then propagate that Jesus is the only source of salvation? If you want proper, raw studies go straight to the source, there are journals online which will pretty much show you all types of studies (scientific or social) withut adding their own bias into them. These preachers take something small and blow it out of proportion or take it completely out of context. They do the same to Gurbani to try and discredit it.

The fall of the Greek/Roman empires was due to a myriad of reasons. sexual deviance wasn't one of them.I sincerely suggest reading proper history books rather than listening to nutjobs who'd love to see our religion in tators over something as menial as sexuality. 

 

To OP, who cares if you are gay. That makes no difference to your spirituality, that's biology, nothing more, nothing less. Focus on Akaal and nothing else, everything will fall into place, that feeling you have on Valentines day. Apply it to God rather than an actual person, Bhai Gurdas Ji said that these stories about Heer Ranjha (Romeo/Juliet of asian) are nothing compared in terms of love of god. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

29 minutes ago, Kira said:

 

To OP, who cares if you are gay. That makes no difference to your spirituality, that's biology, nothing more, nothing less. Focus on Akaal and nothing else, everything will fall into place, that feeling you have on Valentines day. Apply it to God rather than an actual person, Bhai Gurdas Ji said that these stories about Heer Ranjha (Romeo/Juliet of asian) are nothing compared in terms of love of god. 

Funny how we know things and yet hard to follow ! Each word you said I am aware intellectually but emotionally my heart is not able to accept the quagmire I am in. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

When my straight friends my same age tell me about their valentine and their plan to marry their lovers, Its as if someone shot a 100 piercing arrows at my heart.

The sorrow cannot be described, you will probably not understand, but I don't expect you to ! 

Then one of them who is in a loving relationship mocked me and said "You believe in and talk about waheguru so much ! why don't you ask him to arrange someone for you" .

I didn't have an answer to him. My heart just whispered in faith "He will , when the time is right !" 

You do understand this sangat you're keeping is as lost as anyone else in the world? Do you think these feelings of desire and affection are eternal? It's all a fleeting illusion. These same mouths that express emotions of attachment and tenderness for whoever they happen to be fixated on in that moment in time, will split out curses lamenting their misfortune when those illusory feelings dissipate. Don't let these people incite you to godlessness. You're too easily swayed by external voices who, I suspect, wish to see you sink. I sense your trials and heartaches are a source of entertainment to them, although they would never admit such a thing. They see you as a lesser person because of your sexuality. I would never suggest you alienate yourself from human contact, but don't be too eager to unburden yourself and share your innermost feelings with all and sundry. The fact that they thumb their noses at your faith in a higher power should indicate to you what kind of people they are.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

You do understand this sangat you're keeping is as lost as anyone else in the world? Do you think these feelings of desire and affection are eternal? It's all a fleeting illusion. These same mouths that express emotions of attachment and tenderness for whoever they happen to be fixated on in that moment in time, will split out curses lamenting their misfortune when those illusory feelings dissipate. Don't let these people incite you to godlessness. You're too easily swayed by external voices who, I suspect, wish to see you sink. I sense your trials and heartaches are a source of entertainment to them, although they would never admit such a thing. They see you as a lesser person because of your sexuality. I would never suggest you alienate yourself from human contact, but don't be too eager to unburden yourself and share your innermost feelings with all and sundry. The fact that they thumb their noses at your faith in a higher power should indicate to you what kind of people they are.

its harder than it looks, people here will condone the poor guy but in some cases you can't really help the sangat you have. Whenever im in university I can practically sense the hormones running wild, however in a Gurudwara its the completely opposite. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

22 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

You do understand this sangat you're keeping is as lost as anyone else in the world? Do you think these feelings of desire and affection are eternal? It's all a fleeting illusion. These same mouths that express emotions of attachment and tenderness for whoever they happen to be fixated on in that moment in time, will split out curses lamenting their misfortune when those illusory feelings dissipate. Don't let these people incite you to godlessness. You're too easily swayed by external voices who, I suspect, wish to see you sink. I sense your trials and heartaches are a source of entertainment to them, although they would never admit such a thing. They see you as a lesser person because of your sexuality. I would never suggest you alienate yourself from human contact, but don't be too eager to unburden yourself and share your innermost feelings with all and sundry. The fact that they thumb their noses at your faith in a higher power should indicate to you what kind of people they are.

As usual another gem of a post ! :)

Pardon , they're not "friends", but colleagues who sit in my row. 

I do know those good feelings they feel right now are not eternal. I know these as a logical extension of the fact that no pleasure or pain is permanent. The greatest dukh is stuck in cycle of birth and death and escape from it is only sukh. Despite me giving such "I know" lectures, my heart still says that "why can't I ride on two boats" . Life is a duality really. Right now I can't curb those material, basal feelings but I can atleast focus on paath, thats what I do.

My faith is dear to me. I can't toss it , but being in a sea of materialism, I am not able to foresake it either ! A deeper voice says this is temporary, focus on lord. A more basal voice would rather "focus on your enjoyment now , do paath , sewa, but mostly enjoy also. We will take a more radical spiritual sikhi view when we're hit mid age".

These people have always had problems with me and my faith for no reason. I am not even going to go into detail because the post will get very large. But they're not hindu, more like atheists who don't even respect their own faith. The other day I was telling them story of upanishads, and they called it hubris. well now you know ! 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 minutes ago, Kira said:

its harder than it looks, people here will condone the poor guy but in some cases you can't really help the sangat you have. Whenever im in university I can practically sense the hormones running wild, however in a Gurudwara its the completely opposite. 

as you keep sangat, so you become . Its just that your mind should be willing to change sangat without much drama. After all  we're all slaves to our minds only 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 minutes ago, Kira said:

its harder than it looks, people here will condone the poor guy but in some cases you can't really help the sangat you have. Whenever im in university I can practically sense the hormones running wild, however in a Gurudwara its the completely opposite. 

That's true. I guess that's where that inner strength I was referring to a few pages ago enters the equation. If a person does have to interact with these people on a daily basis, you have to be able to filter out most of what they say. Taking every word to heart or mulling over their half baked ideas and opinions just means you're taking in a lot of nonsense that serves no purpose.

 

9 minutes ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

as you keep sangat, so you become . Its just that your mind should be willing to change sangat without much drama. After all  we're all slaves to our minds only.

Listen to them for the sake of politeness, but rise above it. It's tougher when these people are your workmates. I guess you also have your career to consider. Can't be a rude loner who speaks to nobody, lol.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share


  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • yeh it's true, we shouldn't be lazy and need to learn jhatka shikaar. It doesn't help some of grew up in surrounding areas like Slough and Southall where everyone thought it was super bad for amrit dharis to eat meat, and they were following Sant babas and jathas, and instead the Singhs should have been normalising jhatka just like the recent world war soldiers did. We are trying to rectifiy this and khalsa should learn jhatka.  But I am just writing about bhog for those that are still learning rehit. As I explained, there are all these negative influences in the panth that talk against rehit, but this shouldn't deter us from taking khanda pahul, no matter what level of rehit we are!
    • How is it going to help? The link is of a Sikh hunter. Fine, but what good does that do the lazy Sikh who ate khulla maas in a restaurant? By the way, for the OP, yes, it's against rehit to eat khulla maas.
    • Yeah, Sikhs should do bhog of food they eat. But the point of bhog is to only do bhog of food which is fit to be presented to Maharaj. It's not maryada to do bhog of khulla maas and pretend it's OK to eat. It's not. Come on, bro, you should know better than to bring this Sakhi into it. Is this Sikh in the restaurant accompanied by Guru Gobind Singh ji? Is he fighting a dharam yudh? Or is he merely filling his belly with the nearest restaurant?  Please don't make a mockery of our puratan Singhs' sacrifices by comparing them to lazy Sikhs who eat khulla maas.
    • Seriously?? The Dhadi is trying to be cute. For those who didn't get it, he said: "Some say Maharaj killed bakras (goats). Some say he cut the heads of the Panj Piyaras. The truth is that they weren't goats. It was she-goats (ਬਕਰੀਆਂ). He jhatka'd she-goats. Not he-goats." Wow. This is possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard in relation to Sikhi.
    • Instead of a 9 inch or larger kirpan, take a smaller kirpan and put it (without gatra) inside your smaller turban and tie the turban tightly. This keeps a kirpan on your person without interfering with the massage or alarming the masseuse. I'm not talking about a trinket but rather an actual small kirpan that fits in a sheath (you'll have to search to find one). As for ahem, "problems", you could get a male masseuse. I don't know where you are, but in most places there are professional masseuses who actually know what they are doing and can really relieve your muscle pains.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use