Jump to content

i want to pledge 40 days sukhmani sahib but not able to bring myself to it


Guest
 Share

Recommended Posts

1 hour ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

Peace of mind. Inner strength. 

Ability to deal with what life has thrown at me...

Good. I was in such an incredibly similar place to you (sexuality / identity issues notwithstanding) that my final refuge was at the very place I should've turned to at the beginning of it all. It will be difficult at first; focusing on maintaining discipline and cultivating a routine that doesn't slip into blind ritual will seem like an effort, but if you keep at it you will eventually find a certain feeling of serenity. But don't expect the world and demand overnight results. It took me a long time to notice any changes, although in some ways there was a "change" almost immediately. I suppose what took time was those tiny incremental improvements to merge into something substantial that was noticeable to me with the naked eye (or mind).

Just because you have certain leanings, that doesn't mean you can't be a strong and disciplined individual.

Quote

I live by faith because reality is way too scary for me. I cannot believe that he will not help me. 

Yet when you'll begin to receive the fruits of your efforts, reality will become manageable. In fact, you will not shy away from reality because you'll have the tools required to face it head on.

See if you can incorporate at least one Chaupai Sahib into your meditation. Trust me on that one.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you can read one more paragraph . Sorry ! I am trying to pour my heart and hoping perhaps someone could help 

My life is anything but rose tainted glasses. 

Right now it seems like I am beginning to suffer from what psychologists call "cognitive dissonance". That happens when you tend to hold two conflicting beliefs , or when all options seem feasible but none of them really appeal to you . :/

For instance, in case to my sexuality , and my parents constantly pressuring me to marry . 

I find myself at crossroads where life forces me to pick a path but there's no returning from it once I choose it .

1) Find a like-minded woman (maybe a divorcee, maybe someone disfigured, or just a lesbian woman) who knows about me and wants to live a white-picket fence life like me and we can marry and raise a kid . Here kicks in cognitive dissonance : How can I even sensibly marry a woman and be happy to whom I am not attracted to and I don't love. I would be living in a world of "happy couples" and me and her, what kind of marriage would it be . And of a lifetime !

2) Devote life to guru sahib . Apart from sharda, have nothing here . Everything rests on hope and mercy of god in this option. cognitive dissonance: Sexual celibacy is very hard and it gives a sinking feeling in heart to know that you will never be able to have a normal life. Trust me, it feels really really horrible. 

3) Just live a normal life of a gay man : Work, party, have fun (including sex). cognitive dissonance : I fear judgement from god for my acting out uninhibitedly on my sexuality. Adultery is considered a very great sin and ofcourse its so damaging to one's spiritual progress. Guru in his baani says : "For one moment of pleasure, he suffers many many days of suffering". There goes my idea of enjoying life remotely . BTW, I am not a sexual person. but even if I were to live life of a normal gay man, it seems god doesn't approve.

 

I often think it like this : "I don't know which bad karams I did to be born as a homosexual. I can't afford to do more and push myself into the muck of karmic world deeper. When i want to die, I would rather go with heaps of good karams, so that at some point in future (next lives), I can live a normal life like everyone else and attain jivanmukti" :/ 

 

But of all the 3 options and other few, I can't seem to pick anyone. 

Its a horrible feeling and I can't help but die every moment in this constant tug of war in my mind. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, Preeet said:

That's crazy talk. We all pledged to do nitnem sahib, & that certainly is NOT  chore for us. To the poster above: Please do take part in this life changing chalis sri sukhmani sahib ji paaht, no matter whoever discourages you from gurbani.

Please excuse me oh great Preeto, I didn't mean to speak from down low to your high pedestal. That's what I was prescribed, from a Gursikh who told me if you start treating Gurbani like a chore, it becomes a chore and I'll take his word ta. OP has already said his tongue gets tired, his mind falters and he's struggling, but you jumped in to attack me rather than providing any proper insight to help him.

 

To OP.  Just do as many Sukhmani sahibs as possible, if you falters and breaks his pledge it'll come back to you, stick to the safe side and do what you can to your hearts content. Eventually it'll all fall into place and you'll do fine. As said by the various users, work up bro. going from zero-100 isn't going to do you any favours. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 minutes ago, Preeet said:

That is no Gursikh who told you that. Im sure there are people who have been blessed with Sri Amrit and are new to doing nitnem sahib ji, so it would be pakhandi to say to not do them if they seem like a chore to a person (because they are not a chore) who is new to it. 

Yes because you with your Devta Poojas and Sant Nindya are the ideal Gursikh? The person happens to be a taksali, he's spent months learning under scholars and gursikhs, what are your credentials? learning from yourself?  please read what I said properly. OP has already stated he struggles to do 1 whole one in a sitting, so like a person with a brain I suggest he shouldn't take the pledge and do as many as he can. Newly amritdhari people, who are illiterate listen to the Paath, that's an entirely different direction and an extremely special exception, so please don't even go down there. What exactly is your problem? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ajeet paji, another tool you could use, is to think Guruji is sitting in front of you and recite to them. That way, you will get more contentment. And God does hear you anyways, it's just that we may forget sometimes or think they don't. 

Also thank you for the pangtis you pasted, as one of them were said to me by a mahapursh I visited, but I just couldn't remember afterwards what the whole pangti was as I only heard the first bit. I've been looking for it for ages. So thank you ji  ??

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

31 minutes ago, Preeet said:

"scholars and gursikhs', what a vague term, you are not even naming who has told you that false info. 

He studied with the Damdami Taksal, he said if someone struggles to to bani they shouldn't undertake that pledge, but do AS much as they can. 

Quote

My credentials is the Sri Guru Sahib ji, thank you very much! 

Yes because Guru Sahib told us to call Sants and Mahapurkhs liars like you do, he also told us to go and grovel at the feet of Hindu Dieties like you do. The sheer stupidity of that statement only further proves that you're so lost in your own ego that other people being right over you is something you'll never accept.

Quote

They struggle with one sitting, instead of asking him to do an ardas from the bottom of his heart you tell him to give up the pledge altogether. Makes no sense for a Sikh to discourage someone from gurbani sahib ji because they seemingly cannot take the pledge, even though the op WANTS to take up the pledge.

You nimrod, please read what I wrote. I told him to not take the pledge since he struggles it and if he does to get someone to help him stay in line with the routine, he admitted he struggled with it and so like everyone else (apart from you who came in here just to attack me) I told him to take it bit by bit, not a single Mahapurkh I know just woke up one day and decided to do all the banis from the start, they all took it bit by bit and went from there, that's why they reached those high places. I never once discouraged him to not read Gurbani, dont put words in my mouth.

Quote

t all comes down to if they want to take part in this, and if they dont want to then that is fine too, but it is incoherent to tell someone to not take these 'pledges' (and blame the pledge) when our own sri guru sahib ji has made us pledge nitnem sahib. 

and once again you drive right back there. As I pointed out Nitnem is a completely different story, this is Sukhmani Sahib we're talking about. Listening to it is only an option if the person is illiterate so please. Once again bring in some sources from Mahapurkhs or Scholars, I know the thought that someone might have a higher intelligence than you is something you can never accept but trust me. They exist.

 

Anyways I don't really have the time of patience for all this. I came here to answer OP's question, you came here to attack me. If you decide to respond to this, congratulations all you've done is proven my point you revel in simply confusing people and are a self absorbed, haughty individual. Not even lying here as everything you spew on here is stuff that you think is right because you want it to be. Never once do you quote an outside source because for you they are nothing more than people beneath you. Anyways enjoy dragging this out and derailing OP's thread. I've given him my advice (which seems to be correlating with everyone elses here) and you've given him your daily dose of useless bickering/garbage.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Jacfsing2
38 minutes ago, Preeet said:

"scholars and gursikhs', what a vague term, you are not even naming who has told you that false info. My credentials is the Sri Guru Sahib ji, thank you very much! They struggle with one sitting, instead of asking him to do an ardas from the bottom of his heart you tell him to give up the pledge altogether. Makes no sense for a Sikh to discourage someone from gurbani sahib ji because they seemingly cannot take the pledge, even though the op WANTS to take up the pledge. Anyone can easily take part in this pledge if it meant that theyd receive a catastrophe in their life if they didnt, but since the mind is lazy they think up of odd excuses. As I would recommend to anyone new to gurbani sahib, they can listen to it while read along for sometime and then proceed to reciting it out loud if they really cared. It all comes down to if they want to take part in this, and if they dont want to then that is fine too, but it is incoherent to tell someone to not take these 'pledges' (and blame the pledge) when our own sri guru sahib ji has made us pledge nitnem sahib. 

I genuinely have a similar view to you, that if we make a promise we should be expected to keep it; however, without first building Prem for Guru Sahib it is merely some checklist. I'd rather they take the slow route and grow rather than take the fast route and stay in one place; eventually, I'd hope they can keep their promises and much more.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 hours ago, silverSingh said:

 

You will have to choose from your options. All "options" contain Wahegurru G's Jyot within them. Truthfulness is the BEST option.

Sorry to say that this is the most confusing option and yet with the most likes.

How do you define truthfulness? If i pick other options do they load to a deeper muck? It is clear that goddie doesn't like adultery but since he never created privilege of marriage for me, do laws of adultery apply to me. Its like saying god will judge a poor for not giving in charity. 

Are you suggesting that i should strangulate the part of my mind which desires of any worldly happiness ? Sorry for too much logic 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Please do not fight amidst yourselves. Its the last thing i would want to see. Both views are correct. Those who said i should take daily baani as chore are speaking from a rehit point. Their point is valid. 

Those saying i should do it slow are speaking from prem point. Their point is valid too. So no need to fight please. 

In a gursikhs life both rehit(discipline) and prem for baani is complementary to each other ?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share


  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • yeh it's true, we shouldn't be lazy and need to learn jhatka shikaar. It doesn't help some of grew up in surrounding areas like Slough and Southall where everyone thought it was super bad for amrit dharis to eat meat, and they were following Sant babas and jathas, and instead the Singhs should have been normalising jhatka just like the recent world war soldiers did. We are trying to rectifiy this and khalsa should learn jhatka.  But I am just writing about bhog for those that are still learning rehit. As I explained, there are all these negative influences in the panth that talk against rehit, but this shouldn't deter us from taking khanda pahul, no matter what level of rehit we are!
    • How is it going to help? The link is of a Sikh hunter. Fine, but what good does that do the lazy Sikh who ate khulla maas in a restaurant? By the way, for the OP, yes, it's against rehit to eat khulla maas.
    • Yeah, Sikhs should do bhog of food they eat. But the point of bhog is to only do bhog of food which is fit to be presented to Maharaj. It's not maryada to do bhog of khulla maas and pretend it's OK to eat. It's not. Come on, bro, you should know better than to bring this Sakhi into it. Is this Sikh in the restaurant accompanied by Guru Gobind Singh ji? Is he fighting a dharam yudh? Or is he merely filling his belly with the nearest restaurant?  Please don't make a mockery of our puratan Singhs' sacrifices by comparing them to lazy Sikhs who eat khulla maas.
    • Seriously?? The Dhadi is trying to be cute. For those who didn't get it, he said: "Some say Maharaj killed bakras (goats). Some say he cut the heads of the Panj Piyaras. The truth is that they weren't goats. It was she-goats (ਬਕਰੀਆਂ). He jhatka'd she-goats. Not he-goats." Wow. This is possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard in relation to Sikhi.
    • Instead of a 9 inch or larger kirpan, take a smaller kirpan and put it (without gatra) inside your smaller turban and tie the turban tightly. This keeps a kirpan on your person without interfering with the massage or alarming the masseuse. I'm not talking about a trinket but rather an actual small kirpan that fits in a sheath (you'll have to search to find one). As for ahem, "problems", you could get a male masseuse. I don't know where you are, but in most places there are professional masseuses who actually know what they are doing and can really relieve your muscle pains.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use