AjeetSinghPunjabi

My colleagues have harassed me and I feel cheated and dehumanized . What can I do :'(

10 posts in this topic

My age is 27. I work in a small -size IT company . I am a software developer by profession. The size of company I work in is around 70 people. 

It all started in July 2015 when I first joined the company. This psycho south indian guy thought I was an easy target would ridicule me on my turban and although I don't wear 5 Ks as I am not amritdhari , but he would insult other kakkars by saying "Can a sikh auntie cut vegetables with her kirpan if she forgot knife?" .

Other ridiculous questions targeting my turban soon followed like "How do you scratch if you got a scalp itch?" , "How do you wear a helmet?". He did this in front of HR manager once and manager didn't give a damn. Infact seemed happy because he hated me :/ 

Some other people joined in January last year and when they noticed I am being made the clown amidst these people, they soon joined in the bandwagon of abusing and ridiculing me. 

Jokes are mostly not about my faith, but sometimes about my turban and other times mostly about my sexuality :/ They use really horrible words. 

I think there are 5 such people who have dehumanized me by mockery , direct and indirect messages . It has demoralized me to an extent and I feel really insulted now.

What should I do ? 

These people are more in number and considering all of them are of one community (marathi), I feel overwhelmed. 

So If I complained to HR or boss , its likely they might instead get me fired :/ 

 

It has become really bad for me in the office. I feel I have lost all dignity 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How did they discover you're gay? 

Clearly, they consider you to be a soft touch. They're targeting the visible aspect of your appearance because they know you'll never fight back. 

As soon as the ring leader turned his attention to you, you should've shut him down immediately. I guess you said nothing; he grows bold with each encounter, and you find yourself in this mess.

Edited by MisterrSingh
1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

How did they discover you're gay? 

Clearly, they consider you to be a soft touch. They're targeting the visible aspect of your appearance because they know you'll never fight back. 

As soon as the ring leader turned his attention to you, you should've shut him down immediately. I guess you said nothing; he grows bold with each encounter, and you find yourself in this mess.

this is my first job. 

I work in mumbai, India.

Yes, thats how some or should I say many people are thesedays. 

I have always lived a sheltered childhood courtesy my parents, hence didn't knew anything . But the more I come across people, the more I know it.

When they bully you first time, then you shut them down. Immediately, warn them you didn't like it and if they dare repeat again, you will send an email to HR / boss ! 

That way pricks will never dare ! Will never let anyone take my advantage like this in my next office.

I am beginning to fight now , but I guess now its too late. But still I fight. Like how I warned this guy half an hour ago if he dared pull a sick joke again, I will report it as harassment. Maybe I should once , so they come to know I am not lameduck ! 

Anyways, I hope to see them cry tears of blood while I am still in this office. Have cursed them multiple times . Their karams will come back at them one day !

Edited by AjeetSinghPunjabi

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Paji Ajeet, the next time they insult you or your faith, just tell them that they not do that. And if they still don't stop, say to them, what kind of Insaan are you, to insult another faith/religion and person. But say it with trust in Waheguru, and defend yourself when you feel you are being taken advantage of and insulted that it hurts your soul. 

Nobody has the right to say what they are to you. I'm surprised the HR Manager is ignoring it. Just shows their discrimination against other faiths and sexual orientation which is wrong for educated people at least to do that. 

If you can make notes of dates and times if this occurrence, in case if it comes to going into a tribunal for unfair dismissal, at least you will have some evidence. 

Dont worry, I know easier said than done, as I've been through bullying too but through a different environment, and it stopped when I defended myself. And there is no need to curse anybody, although when one goes through that situation, it's hard not to, as they make life difficult for you. But God sees everything that is happening, and everybody has to reap what they sow.  This happened with me once, to the those people that used to insult me and hurt my soul, things went wrong for them, way after I had stopped contact with them.  God does hear the crys of a dukhi person, whether we see it or not. 

Hope all goes well. 

Waheguru 🙏🏻

Some shabads for you:

 

 

Edited by simran345
2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

this is my first job. 

I work in mumbai, India.

Management won't do anything and neither will the government.  If i lived in india and someone would not stop harassing me after repeatedly telling them to stop.  The dhoti wearing people will face consequence they could not imagine.  

Get the local sardar college students together and put the pressure to them.  

Sri Guru Gobind Singh Sahib ji was being harassed by a bahman.  He was calling satguru names.  Satguru at first ignored him, then told him to stop.  But the bahman was an idi*t. Lastly satguru grabbed his sword and told him i will show you who is the son of a bahman.

If you can't stand up for yourself, then pay someone to do it.  

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hit the muppets hard,then explain how the kirpan was used to save hindu girls from islamic slavery

Edited by S1ngh

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Can't you secretly record them? Once you have evidence then take it to HR and if they don't take an.apropriate action then put it online. When the company's reputation is on the line, your company won't side with them.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry to hear this veerji. 

I suggest you read Dasam bani and the background on why Dasam Patshah told the Khalsa to always be tyar bar tyar. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now



  • Topics

  • Posts

    • It amazes me how people cannot see any of the above. Are they so blinded by partisanship? Is it only objectionable if the other side does it? So, doesn't that make them bigoted when they adhere to a code of silence when their preferred candidate enacts the same policy? Yet... it's also obvious that Trump is taking baby steps, and he is indeed testing the waters. What his endgame is I have no idea. 
    • which gurbani lines you referring to ? please post.  Also I don't think anywhere any of bhagat, guru ji or bhatts baanis refer to women in any sexual way at all !  It is just example to help us understand jeev-aatma (often referred to as 'jeev-istree' in sikh literature) relationship with param-aatma (god) .  Since we have no inkling of what relationship to god feels like , those who have felt it have tried to pen it in comparison to earthly relationships we do understand ! and what more intimate relation than that of a spouse !  In Gurbani , at places, baani sometimes go along the lines of "Dear sister, tell me how you impressed your husband ? ... he doesn't like me, but likes you, tell me how you impressed ...." something along these lines ! and final closing line is of joy of how the wife finally impresses her husband and the typical shabad would close so ".. and then he came to bed and finally I enjoyed him ... " ..  I think I have read atleast one such shabad although I don't remember which exactly. but trust me, there's no sexual undercurrent in this shabad AT ALL ! it just helps us relate to our bodiless relationship with creator (something we don't understand) by comparing it to a relationship of intimacy that we do understand and often live !  Same can be said of krishna and gopis in hindu literature. Some say krishna had 16500 wives. Its not possible literally ! so again a hidden metaphor . Gopis revolving around krishna in play dance. Trust me, this often gets sexualized, but subtle metaphor is lost, namely that of souls (gopis) enjoying the spiritual bliss of krishna (god) and all of creation revolving around the creator. Rigveda and some upanishads mention the relationship of soul (jeev) and parbrahm as such :  "On a tree bearing multiple fruits, both bitter and sweet, sits two birds of a kind, eternal companions. One , of golden plume and luminous sits serenly on topmost branch, unperturbed and in bliss. On the lower branches, jumping from branch to branch, is its companion, who sometimes eat sweet fruits and sometimes bitter.  When it eats bitter fruits, it sometimes looks up and see its undisturbed , blissed companion of golden feathers. However , it soons forget its sorrows and starts eating sweet and bitter again .  Sometimes, again it eats bitter and this time flies on top branch , approaches the golden plume companion and when it goes very near, it realizes its golden plume is itself only, its inner-most self, the atma !"    the tree refers to body or world, the golden plume companion is the real self, the bird moving from here and there is jeev . the bitter and sweet fruits are dukh and sukh respectively which we bear in this world. When the bird goes on top branch (higher avastha) , it realizes its own self, and attains liberation and bliss, which gurbaani refers to as "mann tu jot saroop hai, apna mool pachaan"  Quite good example these seers made ! many such metaphors throughout in gurbani also.  The bigger question is "Can we believe ? truly?"
    • Exactly, it makes me kinda confused on how in some Gurbani lines it talks about sadhus leaving their wives but then they still keep thinking of women in their mind as a sadhu.. Can the same thing be said for gay people who try to 'leave' the marriage concept while becoming celibate & 'dharmic', but still think of guys? So does that not mean that they should get married as well.... bhul chuk maff kijye
    • Also you assert it took him decades to accept his ineligibility. . Please provide your sources. . How many decades exactly? Are you suggesting he wanted to create a parallel gurgaddi?
    • Now as I have qualified my assertion can you please qualify yours.. what evidence do you have that he didn't accept guru Angad Dev ji?