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Guest guest singh

does sikhi permit use of contraception with own wife

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Guest guest singh

I am a young married gursikh. 

me and wifey have kids, can we still continue having bhog of each other using condoms or pills, or is it forbidden as per maryada.

Thank you for enlightening 

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Sikhi isnt about rules, do and donts, its about reaching the ultimate goal, waheguru. If u find other things in life more important or enjoyable then u have to analyze ur priorities. So u need to prioritize based on ur values: family, health, spirituality, wealth, society...etc

Forcing someone to chanve their priorities doesnt work, leads to pakhand, and other problems

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Guest guest

Yes of course.  We are  not Muslims it's normal to have a loving intimate relationship. It's not about having children alone. I'd be gutted if my husband when I get married if he only wanted children. 

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Guest Kaur

Having a child automatically changes your priorities because you have no option but to care for them and you made that commitment. But marriage is also about closeness between spouses. The Gurus were not against intimacy, they just taught intimacy should be between husband and wife only in a healthy relationship with lifelong commitment. It's up to the couple to decide on family planning and how many kids. I don't think Waheguru wants to burden a family having to look after 14 kids they can't afford when one or two children well looked after is way better. But what do you do after those one or two? Do you stop being a husband and wife and live more like brother and sister at that point? I don't think so otherwise why is marriage for life then? What about after menopause and no children can be created anymore? Should husband and wife cease to be marriage partners at that point and switch to a platonic relation like brother and sister? Sexual relation is not just for procreation but also bonding and it can also be spiritual. It's the closest we can ever hope to understand the union with another entity and that's why it's used as a metaphor in Gurbani so much. It's that powerful but only if it's not misused for only physical pleasure. Then it gets changed to something cheap and meaningless. 

Short answer yes you can use contraception. As long as you remain in stable loving marriage with your spouse. 

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On 2/4/2017 at 11:42 PM, Guest Kaur said:

Having a child automatically changes your priorities because you have no option but to care for them and you made that commitment. But marriage is also about closeness between spouses. The Gurus were not against intimacy, they just taught intimacy should be between husband and wife only in a healthy relationship with lifelong commitment. It's up to the couple to decide on family planning and how many kids. I don't think Waheguru wants to burden a family having to look after 14 kids they can't afford when one or two children well looked after is way better. But what do you do after those one or two? Do you stop being a husband and wife and live more like brother and sister at that point? I don't think so otherwise why is marriage for life then? What about after menopause and no children can be created anymore? Should husband and wife cease to be marriage partners at that point and switch to a platonic relation like brother and sister? Sexual relation is not just for procreation but also bonding and it can also be spiritual. It's the closest we can ever hope to understand the union with another entity and that's why it's used as a metaphor in Gurbani so much. It's that powerful but only if it's not misused for only physical pleasure. Then it gets changed to something cheap and meaningless. 

Short answer yes you can use contraception. As long as you remain in stable loving marriage with your spouse. 

Then wat about homosexual relationships?  Sure they also are equally beautiful then because they too give that closeness and intimacy to gay partners

Edited by AjeetSinghPunjabi

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On 04/02/2017 at 11:42 PM, Guest Kaur said:

Having a child automatically changes your priorities because you have no option but to care for them and you made that commitment. But marriage is also about closeness between spouses. The Gurus were not against intimacy, they just taught intimacy should be between husband and wife only in a healthy relationship with lifelong commitment. It's up to the couple to decide on family planning and how many kids. I don't think Waheguru wants to burden a family having to look after 14 kids they can't afford when one or two children well looked after is way better. But what do you do after those one or two? Do you stop being a husband and wife and live more like brother and sister at that point? I don't think so otherwise why is marriage for life then? What about after menopause and no children can be created anymore? Should husband and wife cease to be marriage partners at that point and switch to a platonic relation like brother and sister? Sexual relation is not just for procreation but also bonding and it can also be spiritual. It's the closest we can ever hope to understand the union with another entity and that's why it's used as a metaphor in Gurbani so much. It's that powerful but only if it's not misused for only physical pleasure. Then it gets changed to something cheap and meaningless. 

Short answer yes you can use contraception. As long as you remain in stable loving marriage with your spouse. 

Sorry but this answer reeks of hypocrisy ! There were no contraceptives in guru's time. So thats why people have many kids and usually stopped their sexual activity once they crossed the family planning phase. There's nothing natural about contraception . Its an unnatural act ! and yes its only for physical pleasure , Having sex for emotional or spiritual benefit is what tantrics do ! we're sikhs 

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Guest Guest Gyaani
On 30 January 2017 at 4:59 PM, Guest guest singh said:

I am a young married gursikh. 

me and wifey have kids, can we still continue having bhog of each other using condoms or pills, or is it forbidden as per maryada.

Thank you for enlightening 

Sex is only for procreation the rest is paap.  Procreation must take place within married life after Anand Karaj between man and woman, the rest is just bs. No need to use artificial means of birth control just practice sikhee.

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Guest London jwaan

Can you clarify where exactly it is said that contraception is banned or that "sex is only for procreation the rest is paap"?

These are dangerous, nonsenical pieces of advice that you are passing on to our community. Based on total unsubstantiated jagsaw interpretations that in this case are no different to Islam.

Contraception is fine between husband and wife and I challenge any fanatic to show evidence to the contrary where it is written that is not.

Ajeetsinghpunjabi where you have written that there was no contraception in guruji time, it is false and a moot point. It's false as there was the rhythm method. Is moot because there were no cars or iPhones either. Using your logic sites that mean using them is against sikhi?

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Im sorry but celibacy is not recommended in sikhi. Therefore celibacy within marriage is also not recommended unless both partners are at that avastha.

Remember we had that one bibi complaining about her Gursikh husband? That he was too emotionless? Stable marriages are important, we need to have grihsti, householder lifestyle

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Watch the videos i posted above n provide counterargument to those.

Ofc, a sikh should let nothing in life interfere with Amritvela, Naam Kamai, and Gurbani. So if these important things are being done, continue with your householder life. You and your wife need to come up with your own restrictions and healthy way of living.

Sikhi does not have many rules, for that reason so that people can come up with rules for what works for them in their specific situations. So use ur budhi/ intelligence to set limits at where nothing interferes with kamaaing sikhi

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1 hour ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

Im sorry but celibacy is not recommended in sikhi. Therefore celibacy within marriage is also not recommended unless both partners are at that avastha.

Remember we had that one bibi complaining about her Gursikh husband? That he was too emotionless? Stable marriages are important, we need to have grihsti, householder lifestyle

Celibacy ALONE in sikhi is not approved in sikhi.  Celibacy for a person who is not married is approved in sikhi.  And there is no such thing as celibacy in sikhi once a person is married.  

Any amount of people complaining does not speak for what sikhi teaches.  That bibi should understand she is in the wrong and her husband is taking her on the correct path.  Sikhi marriage is about uplifting the partner and not about focusing on emtions and bringing the other partner down to lower animal instincts.  A stable marriage is one who does not let emotions run their lives and applies sikhi as therr driving force.  

 

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